Things people say when you lose weight
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springlering62 wrote: »Well, it finally happened. When asked how I lost weight, another woman interrupted to say that CICO is no good.
Apparently there’s a thing with estrogen being stored in fat that prohibits pre, peri, and post menopausal women from losing weight.
I feel like I need to pinch myself to see if it’s all real. Because, according to this otherwise lovely woman, it’s “impossible”. Maybe I’m a figment if my own imagination?
Absolutely bizarre. I guess my 110lbs lost so far is all imaginary, too. I mean I do swear I still see it in the mirror sometimes...
I have heard stuff about estrogen being stored in fat, but that was more along the lines of being mindful that it may/will be released into your bloodstream as you lose fat, affecting your moods. No idea if that's true, either, if I'm honest, but it at least sounds more plausible.
I'm not going to go into details (too personal), but I had experiences with how I felt during one stage of weight loss (for a couple of months) that lead me to suspect the estrogen release might be a thing. I'm post-menopausal, and it definitely hit me for a while there in ways like earlier-life estrogen levels felt.11 -
The best compliment I got was from a friend, "You're *wearing* that dress."
The worst was at my sister's wedding by someone I barely knew, "You look like a different person." They didn't mean to be mean, but it upset me nonetheless and on a day when I wanted to feel my best.
Honestly, if you aren't close, I think it's best to say nothing at all.13 -
I had met one of my moms friends once when I weighed over 200 pounds. About a year later I saw her again at my mom’s 75 pounds lighter. My mom introduced me saying “You remember my daughter” And the friend said “No, I think I only met your other daughter”.
I am her ONLY daughter. Lol. I LOVED that moment!33 -
I've only had two spontaneous remarks so far (down 44 lbs from a BMI of 34 to 27, since August of last year).
One person remarked that I looked good and asked if I had changed anything, indicating my face. Funny that she didn't consciously notice the weight loss, but a compliment nevertheless.
Then last week another person blurted out: "You've lost a lot of weight, no?!"
Which was funny since I had seen her mid-June (only a few lbs difference) and she hadn't noticed anything then.
"Did you lose the weight after the last time I saw you (June)?" Nope, lol.
"Since Covid then?" Nope again, lol. Apparently it was my face (again) that made them notice the weight loss.
The funniest thing was how they focused on my food afterwards. Asking if I was 'allowed' a scoop of ice-cream with the fruit tart they were offering.
But especially: "Are you not drinking alcohol because of your diet?" I've always been someone who drinks very little alcohol (usually one drink at the beginning of the evening is enough) and they've known me for at least 15 years!10 -
I've only had two spontaneous remarks so far (down 44 lbs from a BMI of 34 to 27, since August of last year).
One person remarked that I looked good and asked if I had changed anything, indicating my face. Funny that she didn't consciously notice the weight loss, but a compliment nevertheless.
Then last week another person blurted out: "You've lost a lot of weight, no?!"
Which was funny since I had seen her mid-June (only a few lbs difference) and she hadn't noticed anything then.
"Did you lose the weight after the last time I saw you (June)?" Nope, lol.
"Since Covid then?" Nope again, lol. Apparently it was my face (again) that made them notice the weight loss.
The funniest thing was how they focused on my food afterwards. Asking if I was 'allowed' a scoop of ice-cream with the fruit tart they were offering.
But especially: "Are you not drinking alcohol because of your diet?" I've always been someone who drinks very little alcohol (usually one drink at the beginning of the evening is enough) and they've known me for at least 15 years!4 -
springlering62 wrote: »Well, it finally happened. When asked how I lost weight, another woman interrupted to say that CICO is no good.
Apparently there’s a thing with estrogen being stored in fat that prohibits pre, peri, and post menopausal women from losing weight.
I feel like I need to pinch myself to see if it’s all real. Because, according to this otherwise lovely woman, it’s “impossible”. Maybe I’m a figment if my own imagination?
Absolutely bizarre. I guess my 110lbs lost so far is all imaginary, too. I mean I do swear I still see it in the mirror sometimes...
I have heard stuff about estrogen being stored in fat, but that was more along the lines of being mindful that it may/will be released into your bloodstream as you lose fat, affecting your moods. No idea if that's true, either, if I'm honest, but it at least sounds more plausible.
I'm not going to go into details (too personal), but I had experiences with how I felt during one stage of weight loss (for a couple of months) that lead me to suspect the estrogen release might be a thing. I'm post-menopausal, and it definitely hit me for a while there in ways like earlier-life estrogen levels felt.
This is interesting...I've noticed that I have more cystic acne (I'm well into my 30's) while losing weight. It so annoying!4 -
Living in the south, I hear people tell others"you will look sick if you lose too much." Another is "you don't need to lose any weight" I always try to counteract what they say and tell the person, "it isn't about weight, do what makes you feel good inside and out."7
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When given contrasting "compliments," does anyone else feel defensive for their formerly less energetic, comely, etc. self?5
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Usually people don’t even notice! I can easily gain or lose quite a bit over time without anyone noticing too much because I’m 5’8” and my legs are long and thin so when I start to feel uncomfortable, I can hide the fat parts until I lose the weight. Over 5 year periods I’ve gone from 109lbs to 135lbs and back again and I guess because it’s so gradual no one even noticed! I gained some weight during Covid, back in the 130’s and hope to be back to my thin self by the time we are allowed to be social again. Which could easily be next year, the way things are looking! When I was 109 lbs, it was considered “underweight” by those stupid charts (and by this apps standards) but my doctor had no problem with it, never even questioned it. All my test results were great. This is LA and it’s totally normal. That’s actually when I did get a few compliments. I really enjoy being thin and like that there’s sort of a cultural expectation among the people I’m around to stay thin and healthy. I like being vegetarian, eating organic & healthy and don’t like being around the “eat a cheeseburger” people you can run into outside of LA. I never understood that mentality. I bet anything my medical report is WAY better than theirs!6
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ixchelkeshet wrote: »When given contrasting "compliments," does anyone else feel defensive for their formerly less energetic, comely, etc. self?
I suppose I might have the impulse - but so far I've been too busy noticing how I really am more energetic, lively, happier, etc. It's not that my past self was less worthy, or anything, but before I started my health journey I knew I needed to make health improvements anyway.5 -
From both my sister and sister-in-law (at different meetings) "Don't lose anymore!"
I'm 5'6" and 145 lbs - literally 1 lb away from the 'ultimate goal' I picked for myself when I started 74 lbs and 78 weeks ago. This figure is in the upper end of the healthy-weight range for someone my height. Since I'm 55 years old there's a lot of saggy skin, but still extra fat under it, especially around my midsection, butt, and thighs, so I've been considering a new goal of 135 which is more in the middle of my h-w range. I don't want to be 'model-thin' by any means, I'd be happy with 'healthy non-athlete'.
I was feeling pretty good about it too, but the speed/urgency with which they each blurted out the comment now has me worried that I may have some degree of body dysmorphia.
So now I'm not so happy.11 -
MonaLisainCT wrote: »From both my sister and sister-in-law (at different meetings) "Don't lose anymore!"
I'm 5'6" and 145 lbs - literally 1 lb away from the 'ultimate goal' I picked for myself when I started 74 lbs and 78 weeks ago. This figure is in the upper end of the healthy-weight range for someone my height. Since I'm 55 years old there's a lot of saggy skin, but still extra fat under it, especially around my midsection, butt, and thighs, so I've been considering a new goal of 135 which is more in the middle of my h-w range. I don't want to be 'model-thin' by any means, I'd be happy with 'healthy non-athlete'.
I was feeling pretty good about it too, but the speed/urgency with which they each blurted out the comment now has me worried that I may have some degree of body dysmorphia.
So now I'm not so happy.
Don't let it get to you. Part of it is people being shocked by quick changes. Also, in my case, not speaking of you, I do think I arrived near goal weight looking a little drawn or haggard (calorie deficit is a stressor, after all; and initially there was more loose skin facially and elsewhere). I got comments like that at first, but people got used to me, and it stopped. (I think I objectively did look a bit perkier after a couple of months at maintenance calories, besides.) Follow your own course, ask your doctor (not friends/relatives) if you think you need advice.11 -
I've only had two spontaneous remarks so far (down 44 lbs from a BMI of 34 to 27, since August of last year).
One person remarked that I looked good and asked if I had changed anything, indicating my face. Funny that she didn't consciously notice the weight loss, but a compliment nevertheless.
Then last week another person blurted out: "You've lost a lot of weight, no?!"
Which was funny since I had seen her mid-June (only a few lbs difference) and she hadn't noticed anything then.
"Did you lose the weight after the last time I saw you (June)?" Nope, lol.
"Since Covid then?" Nope again, lol. Apparently it was my face (again) that made them notice the weight loss.
The funniest thing was how they focused on my food afterwards. Asking if I was 'allowed' a scoop of ice-cream with the fruit tart they were offering.
But especially: "Are you not drinking alcohol because of your diet?" I've always been someone who drinks very little alcohol (usually one drink at the beginning of the evening is enough) and they've known me for at least 15 years!
I started losing weight in the late summer and by early fall that year it was freezing cold. I wore the same big long coat every day when I saw my friends on the commuter train. One day in May it was 47 degrees and yep still wearing the big coat. Talked to one of my train friends for quite awhile after we disembarked. The next day it was 64 degrees and I wore my new leather jacket and skinny jeans on my 75 pounds lighter body. I walked into the station that morning and my friend exclaimed “OMG did you lose a huge amount of weight overnight”??? Lol. She thensaid that talking to me the day before she thought my face had looked different but she couldn’t put her finger on why.
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MonaLisainCT wrote: »From both my sister and sister-in-law (at different meetings) "Don't lose anymore!"
I'm 5'6" and 145 lbs - literally 1 lb away from the 'ultimate goal' I picked for myself when I started 74 lbs and 78 weeks ago. This figure is in the upper end of the healthy-weight range for someone my height. Since I'm 55 years old there's a lot of saggy skin, but still extra fat under it, especially around my midsection, butt, and thighs, so I've been considering a new goal of 135 which is more in the middle of my h-w range. I don't want to be 'model-thin' by any means, I'd be happy with 'healthy non-athlete'.
I was feeling pretty good about it too, but the speed/urgency with which they each blurted out the comment now has me worried that I may have some degree of body dysmorphia.
So now I'm not so happy.
I feel for you. Maybe rest at your original goal weight for a while. Keep exercising and eating healthfully. See how you look in your clothes and how you feel after some time has passed. Then reevaluate where you are, how your body is handling it, and what you want. Meanwhile, enjoy your success! A 75 pound weight loss is something that you can see and feel really good about yourself for achieving!6 -
You look ill, you look gaunt, you look taller, you didn't lose that naturally you've had a gastric band fitted!10
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I turned up to sign on for a bike race with a helmet and visor which cover my face/hair. I spoke to a clubmate as I was signing on. My OH turned up and the clubmate asked him if I was riding - he'd completely failed to realise who I was when we were speaking a couple of minutes earlier.17
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Everyone in my present group had only seen me when I was ~216 pounds. When I was getting close to goal (155) everyone was telling me I was looking gaunt. I tried to explain BMI and that my doctor was saying I was getting right where I should be. Then they started challenging my doctor's competency. I finally shut them up by handing out my doctor's phone number and telling them "You're probably right. You should call him up and set him straight!"30
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DoneWorking wrote: »Everyone in my present group had only seen me when I was ~216 pounds. When I was getting close to goal (155) everyone was telling me I was looking gaunt. I tried to explain BMI and that my doctor was saying I was getting right where I should be. Then they started challenging my doctor's competency. I finally shut them up by handing out my doctor's phone number and telling them "You're probably right. You should call him up and set him straight!"
Great strategy😊6 -
Best one I’ve had?
“Where did you leave the rest of yourself?” 😂11 -
MonaLisainCT wrote: »From both my sister and sister-in-law (at different meetings) "Don't lose anymore!"
I'm 5'6" and 145 lbs - literally 1 lb away from the 'ultimate goal' I picked for myself when I started 74 lbs and 78 weeks ago. This figure is in the upper end of the healthy-weight range for someone my height. Since I'm 55 years old there's a lot of saggy skin, but still extra fat under it, especially around my midsection, butt, and thighs, so I've been considering a new goal of 135 which is more in the middle of my h-w range. I don't want to be 'model-thin' by any means, I'd be happy with 'healthy non-athlete'.
I was feeling pretty good about it too, but the speed/urgency with which they each blurted out the comment now has me worried that I may have some degree of body dysmorphia.
So now I'm not so happy.
It sounds to me like you are doing great and have a good sense of where you want to be and how you want to get there. I think many people these days have very little sense of what a normal bmi looks like. I also think that when one is losing, one's face can look quite gaunt for a while until one settles into maintenance. I found that with my sister-in-law and her husband. For me they looked for a while as though they might have lost too much weight (though I did not say anything), but they now look great.
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