Things people say when you lose weight
Replies
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Just tell them you know where it is, so it's not lost.
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nighthawk584 wrote: »I haven't seen him since losing 95 lbs and don't plan on it unless by accident, but knowing him, he would have something very negative to say. Sometimes you just have to let people GO, family included. I do this for me this time, not anyone else and is a huge reason I think it will be forever now.
Ditto that.
My younger brother has extreme narcissism problems ... he has almost always ridiculed my battles with weight and found great mirth in passing negative comments at xmas & easter family gatherings.
One of my sisters and I (since we hated his nasty scrutiny) checked to see if he's RSVP-ed a 'yes' to an event ... then we planned an early exit or a completely alternate plan.
At 19 years of age my son was at a night-club in the city and was sure he'd seen his uncle enter a brothel across the road. To be sure, he waited out in the dark and confirmed it was, in fact, his uncle.
As his uncle (and the aunt he's married to) are pillars of church-assisted marriage guidance and a long term member of a quite extreme christian religion, my son was in extreme delight "having the goods" on him. He sought my counsel.
"Todd, keep it under your hat and choose to use it very judiciously," I told him. "Don't rush to tell on him to his wife or his church pastor but always be aware that EXPOSURE of his secret would be a huge social penalty."
Imagine the joy at a xmas lunch about four years later, when after some nasty chiding by my brother, my son finally reacted and said, "Uncle Paul, do you get some kind of cheap thrill playing god and telling us all our sins and mistakes? I have wished since I was 11 years old that I was not related to you."
"In fact, uncle Paul, a while back, I was out at THE CAVERN with some friends ... across the road from the brothel district and I saw a man who was your doppelgänger going into the BLACK CAT BROTHEL across the road and I thought how much I'd like to swap him for you. That man went in and out and, although he looked like you, he never insulted me like you do; he never made cheap shots at family members like you do. So why do you bother? Does playing god make you think your god likes you more."
It took Paul another few minutes but the penny dropped. Todd approached him quietly later and said. "I know about your grubby brothel secret and I have told Jerry, Katrina, dad and about a dozen of my friends that you have previously pissed off with your god-bothering 5h1t. So don't ever f**k with me again you hypocrite. The next person I tell will be my grandma ... your mother!"
Within a year, my brother packed up house and moved about 50km away. He rarely comes into our lives now. 13 years later, he's only come back to these two suburbs where the rest of his family lives and visits his mother (my mother) about 2pm-3pm once every six or seven weeks on a Thursday. No phone calls, no contact for the rest of us!
It has been quite lovely to not have to put with his negatives which we suffered for nigh on 40 years.18 -
bobsburgersfan wrote: »@AnnPT77, 3rd parties really can't win.
Last weekend a lady from my church told me she was proud of me, and internally that comment annoyed me. Obviously this was a compliment and knowing her, she meant nothing but kindness. I'm still not sure what it was that put me off about that statement, but I'm a little annoyed at myself for being annoyed by it!
Sounds like someone who has been in your shoes and knows the dedication and determination that it takes to make such a positive change.9 -
I really hate any kind of weight loss comment. Usually it's just a vehicle for people to share their biases and I hate that. In the past I used to feel pressure to be nice to someone saying something vacuous as "you look healthy or you look good" but not anymore.
Unless you are a close friend, and know about my fitness goals and how often I train (we train together maybe) or you specifically know about any kind of unhealthy habits/foods that I made changes to, then you're just guessing and I really don't care anymore about those comments.
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I have only heard a few. "you look great", "Have you lost weight?", stuff like that. I guess I'm kind of looking forward to those kinds of comments in the future. We'll see won't we.9
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A good friend of mine used to say "I'm proud for you". I kinda like that spin on it.
One that really annoys me is a coworker who will ask me if it's ok if they eat their dessert or whatever good food thay have in front of me and they throw in "I don't want to tempt you" as if I would reach over and grab their food from them. ugh.14 -
A good friend of mine used to say "I'm proud for you". I kinda like that spin on it.
One that really annoys me is a coworker who will ask me if it's ok if they eat their dessert or whatever good food thay have in front of me and they throw in "I don't want to tempt you" as if I would reach over and grab their food from them. ugh.
You should try it one day. I mean you don’t want to disappoint them 😂14 -
I've heard the "I'm proud of you" comment from neighbors and acquaintances who have no need or right to take pride in anything I've done. BUT, , , I always assume it's a play on words. I presume they REALLY mean, "you should be proud of yourself" or just "you should be proud". That way I'm not so resentful.15
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My sister who lost weight in recent years often gets asked if she's ill. She's at a normal weight now but feels more insecure now than ever14
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A good friend of mine used to say "I'm proud for you". I kinda like that spin on it.
One that really annoys me is a coworker who will ask me if it's ok if they eat their dessert or whatever good food thay have in front of me and they throw in "I don't want to tempt you" as if I would reach over and grab their food from them. ugh.
You should try it one day. I mean you don’t want to disappoint them 😂
😂😂😂 this made me laugh.
What annoys me is when older ppl in the family ask me what I did to lose weight. The people who I KNOW wont plan to go to a gym or lift a weight because they dont want to “gain muscle”. The ones who eat like *kitten* or barely eat at all. The ones who barely cook at home.
Next time I will tell them it was magic.11 -
I was talking to my mom earlier, and she was telling me about a woman she knows who has lost A LOT of weight, and of course she made the comment that this woman has lost too much. I tried to make the point that it's just in comparison to what she used to look like. She wasn't having any of that. "Well, she looked better a couple months ago." (Eye roll.) I just can't wait until I get down further; I'm guessing anything below 200 will seem too thin to her.14
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Best:
Coworker takes me to one side "have you lost weight?"
"yeah"
"wow you look great, I just didn't want you to think I thought you needed to before by my asking!"
Worse:
"you don't really need to lose weight, you need to remember you're a lovely person on the inside" (said by an overweight friend)
"were you pregnant before?"12 -
don't get any smaller, you'll disappear! Or you were fine to begin with, now you have no bum!7
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The worst comment I got was that I should lose more and that I still look fat to obese. At the time I was 140lb (I'm 5'6) and a size 8-10. That was very mean and it came from a close family member who was jealous and wanted to sabotage my weight loss. I'be also head of people who lost friends when they stopped being the fat friend. I know now you should just ignore them.22
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My favorite remark was from the produce man at my grocery store. He said he noticed I'd lost some weight and that I looked happy and light on my feet. I said something like, "thanks. I've got quite a ways to go.". He said, have you lost 10 or more? I said, "yeah, I've only lost 12." He marched over and picked up a ten pound bag of potatoes and pushed them at me to hold. I'm holding those potatoes and I must have looked like it had just dawned on me that I'd actually accomplished something . He's smiling this big grin and says, "don't forget how you feel right now. You're doing great."59
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Losing weight in quarantine is weird because no one can see you and comment on it (for better or worse). I've lost 50 pounds since most people have seen me. I met up with one friend for a walk and she didn't say a single word, which made me think I must not look that different. A few days later, I saw another friend and she went on and on about how great I look and how hard I must be working. I have to admit, that felt amazing. I guess some people just don't want to say anything for fear of offending. But "you look great" can never be offensive, in my opinion!22
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Losing weight in quarantine is weird because no one can see you and comment on it (for better or worse). I've lost 50 pounds since most people have seen me. I met up with one friend for a walk and she didn't say a single word, which made me think I must not look that different. A few days later, I saw another friend and she went on and on about how great I look and how hard I must be working. I have to admit, that felt amazing. I guess some people just don't want to say anything for fear of offending. But "you look great" can never be offensive, in my opinion!
You would be surprised, some people will take "You look great" and think you're implying that they looked terrible before. Additionally, some people drop weight because they're sick and don't want to be reminded of it.10 -
1BlueAurora wrote: »My favorite remark was from the produce man at my grocery store. He said he noticed I'd lost some weight and that I looked happy and light on my feet. I said something like, "thanks. I've got quite a ways to go.". He said, have you lost 10 or more? I said, "yeah, I've only lost 12." He marched over and picked up a ten pound bag of potatoes and pushed them at me to hold. I'm holding those potatoes and I must have looked like it had just dawned on me that I'd actually accomplished something . He's smiling this big grin and says, "don't forget how you feel right now. You're doing great."
Now... THAT is how to do it.
That produce guy was one cool dude. Sounds like he's been there before, too. 12 -
hallobailey wrote: »Weight loss is a very personal journey but it inevitably draws comments from the people around us. I’m curious, what kind of comments have you received related to your weight loss? Good, bad, frustrating. Here are a couple for me...
Good: “You are looking fit”
Frustrating: “you don’t have any weight to lose” or “don’t get obsessed with your new diet”
Here in the south we hear "Well you've lost weight & I've found it!" lol17 -
1BlueAurora wrote: »My favorite remark was from the produce man at my grocery store. He said he noticed I'd lost some weight and that I looked happy and light on my feet. I said something like, "thanks. I've got quite a ways to go.". He said, have you lost 10 or more? I said, "yeah, I've only lost 12." He marched over and picked up a ten pound bag of potatoes and pushed them at me to hold. I'm holding those potatoes and I must have looked like it had just dawned on me that I'd actually accomplished something . He's smiling this big grin and says, "don't forget how you feel right now. You're doing great."
This was SO awesome to read. Way to go, and keep going!
This got me thinking. A few months back, I put on an 8-pound SeaSoft SCUBA weight belt and went for a walk to see if I could tell the difference. I could. So today, I took a look at what SCUBA belts I had assembled. I had one with two 5-pound uncoated bricks, one with two 3-pound and two 2-pound coated bricks, and my SeaSoft 8-pound comfy belt. I put all three on. I almost added a two pound weight to make an even 30. Anyway, it was really weird wearing THREE SCUBA belts, but there ya go. I walked around. I could feel it in my knees. I used to carry that much more of ME wherever I went. I am SO glad that I shed 20% of my body weight and am at a healthy weigh now. I plan to stay this way.
Anyone is welcome to borrow my weight belts to do a similar experiment, and I'm happy to make them different weights just for fun. Pretty much cold water diving is 18 pounds for me these days, and that is also awesome since it used to take a lot more lead to get my adipose tissues off the surface.
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This morning’s NSV is my compression pants aren’t compressing anything anymore. They actually barely stay up! I haven’t been wearing them as my other ones are lighter weight so that was a pretty big surprise this morning. 😀13
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I still don't know what NSV means, but Someone did say something to me the other day about it. They said, "that looks good on you."
Nice.10 -
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Oh man, I read all these comments and have gotten those!
When I was losing weight with my wedding as a goal, I got A LOT of unwelcome comments.
"If you turn sideways you'll be invisible!"
"Don't lose TOO much weight." (Don't put those impossible standards on me- you seem to be screwed if you do and screwed if you don't)
"You can stop now."
"Don't drink too much water."
"You should live a little." (Because I refused any more truck stop candy bars)7 -
Oh man, I read all these comments and have gotten those!
When I was losing weight with my wedding as a goal, I got A LOT of unwelcome comments.
"If you turn sideways you'll be invisible!"
"Don't lose TOO much weight." (Don't put those impossible standards on me- you seem to be screwed if you do and screwed if you don't)
"You can stop now."
"Don't drink too much water."
"You should live a little." (Because I refused any more truck stop candy bars)
This makes me want to make a thread for snappy comebacks to silly comments! If someone said to me "you should live a little," it would be hard to resist saying "I AM! Do you have any idea how good I feel?"9 -
Sand_TIger wrote: »Oh man, I read all these comments and have gotten those!
When I was losing weight with my wedding as a goal, I got A LOT of unwelcome comments.
"If you turn sideways you'll be invisible!"
"Don't lose TOO much weight." (Don't put those impossible standards on me- you seem to be screwed if you do and screwed if you don't)
"You can stop now."
"Don't drink too much water."
"You should live a little." (Because I refused any more truck stop candy bars)
This makes me want to make a thread for snappy comebacks to silly comments! If someone said to me "you should live a little," it would be hard to resist saying "I AM! Do you have any idea how good I feel?"
I love that comeback! I may "borrow it" next time I need it.
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@Sand_TIger I wish I was as quick with the witty comebacks as you.
Twice today, from two people, I was told to stop losing weight. My MIL said my face was looking gaunt--thanks, that makes me feel great-especially coming from the lady who's been morbidly obese since the day I met her. I weigh 125.2 pounds, which is technically still 10 pounds from the low end of my BMI. My goal is first 125 and then 120 and then maintenance.
When I was losing the weight I loved the attention 'you look great' 'hey skinny' etc...now, I don't want to remember being fat, I'm embarrassed by how fat I was, so people's remarks, although I'm sure they mean them nicely (except my MIL) I'd rather they not say anything anymore. I want how I look now to be the normal me--and the fat me to be gone and lost forever.15 -
"Don't regain the weight" - from my ex-husband!13
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bobsburgersfan wrote: »I was talking to my mom earlier, and she was telling me about a woman she knows who has lost A LOT of weight, and of course she made the comment that this woman has lost too much. I tried to make the point that it's just in comparison to what she used to look like. She wasn't having any of that. "Well, she looked better a couple months ago." (Eye roll.) I just can't wait until I get down further; I'm guessing anything below 200 will seem too thin to her.
I'll get those comments too. When my uncle lost a lot of weight to help with health issues he had developed, that was mom's comment then, even though I thought he looked fine - skinnier than I was used to, but not unhealthy.4 -
One person told me that they thought I was much prettier with more weight.
Another told me I was too fat (my aunt)
I can't wait to hear what the husband has to say this time. Last time he accused me of developing an eating disorder because I was counting out almonds. You know, portion control. I could sit down and eat a bag of almonds, but one serving size is 15 almonds.
My middle eastern dance instructor commented, "You'd look better in that costume if you lost another 15lbs." All said though, I appreciated her comment because it wasn't out of malice. Just a matter of fact statement.
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