WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2020
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Barbie ... thank you for moving us into September!
Barbara ...such an awful ordeal for Joe! I'll be praying the straw is less painful than anticipated. I'm glad, that your are being appreciated.
My goal is always to weigh less at the end of each month and finally I released some of the Covid weigh gain (6 pounds) in August. However, I'm a long way from my goals. Today I had a dermatology appointment (all is well) and saw, once again (seemingly no matter what I weigh), that diagnosis that always make me so ashamed ... severe obesity with comorbidity ... sigh. I still have 65 pounds to go. So what did I do after I left the doctor's office? Did I firm up my resolve? Pull up my big girl panties and move forward? No. No I did not. I completely ignored my fasting protocols, dove into brownies I had baked for the guys at work and then went out later and purposely bought candy to inflict even more damage. Five peanut butter cups later, I'm done with my little pity party and ready to get back to work on making myself lighter by the end of September. I am my own worst enemy.
Beth near Buffalo
13 -
Tldr: long, exasperating day, possibly overreacting. I need a hug.A former co-worker was looking for a Cheap, used laptop for a needy student to use in college. I offered an iPad for free. This is a tablet that still works fine but doesn’t hold a charge for long. A friend was interested in buying it a while back for $25. She took it home, kept it for several months without paying me for it, then gave it back saying she never used it. I cleared it before giving it to her removing all our personal info and removing the need for a passcode. I assumed she returned it in the same condition. Anyway, I charged it up for my co-worker and threw in a brand new external battery to extend its portability for this new user. The co-worker can’t get in it because the other friend created a pass code which she doesn’t remember. Everytime my coworker tries yet another possibility, it locks her out for an hour. I am beyond frustrated with my other friend and told her she needed to fix it. I also told her I couldn’t talk about it anymore because I was too mad. The ipad is already in the hands of my coworker, but of course it is useless. I’m so mad at my friend because she obviously did use it after telling me she didn’t and not paying me for it. My friend promised that she would figure out how to fix it, but I’ve lost trust in her. I tried to walk her through wiping it from her iTunes, but she deleted it instead. That’s when I sent her the co-worker’s phone number and told her to make it right. I couldn’t deal any more.
Am I being too sensitive? A drama queen? I feel like she’s made me look like a flake. I was feeling so good about doing something to help this kid and it’s turned into one big drama. I feel so guilty, I want to just give the kid my laptop and go buy me a new one!
Anyway, this was my day and it sucked!11 -
Yuyyy0
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Machka - when I was done my job in 2017 I had been under stress for about 3 years, the last 8 months I would call heavy stress. The first month that I was off I slept like I couldn’t believe. I would sleep all night, wake up be awake for an hour or so and nap for a couple hours, wake up for an hour or so and nap again for a couple hours. It was a cycle of sleep and wake for a month. I thought I was sick. It took a long time before I felt I was back to myself.
Tracey in Edmonton3 -
beth - I have had those times as well. Mine would have been a stop at McDonalds.
Katie - I would be upset with my friend too. Surely she can do the forget password and go through that mess.1 -
Dr Katie-
Nope. Not too sensitive. Not being a drama queen.
She needs to make it right.
.1 -
Thanks Barbie for the new thread....
Barbara, will be thinking of you and your DH.
Katie, I would be disappointed and angry, too.
Beth, it could have been me with the brownies and then candy... darn!
Betsy in NW WA1 -
Katie bug, I would be beyond furious! This "friend" stole the use of your ipad for a month and then made it unusable... I would get this fixed and then put a lot of space between me and her. You are not being a drama queen not even a drama princess.... You are being a reasonable person.
kim in N. California1 -
Kim, the thing is I don’t think I can do it anymore. Even if I took it to apple, they’re going to ask questions about her apple id and password that I can’t answer. She is going to have to do it. She may have to get the iPad back in her possession to do it. She did offer to drive to the coworker’s house and get it. I’m hoping she has enough character to make it right.2
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Barbie, thank you for starting us off once again. A new month, sure hope I can do better with it than the old month!
Allie, I'm glad to hear that you are looking for another job. I was going to suggest it, not just because Jean is being a B*TCH (and yes, I meant to capitalize that, because she is being a big one), but also because Faith may not be here for much longer. You said yourself she is sleeping more and more. I could be wrong, I have zero medical training, but I know you've been concerned about her health too. And once she's gone, you can bet Jean won't give a hoot about what happens to you!
Machka, that dental work does not sound like fun, but I am glad you are getting it taken care of. Do you have a dental package thru work? I used to have a good one, it paid for 50% of the cost of the 5 crowns that I have, now I would have to dip deep into savings to pay for any that I needed as my current package only pays for basic work. When I was getting them done, the cost was between $1000 and $1200. 50% of that was enough! Also, thank you for reposting Barbie's link, I missed it and you saved me having to go back and try to find it.
Suzi/Pip, I too would eat Yogi's dog treats! Although, I probably would put raisins or some other dried fruit in them if I were eating them!
Margaret, I'm so sorry that your brother is being an insensitive jerk. Perhaps he just doesn't know what to say or do?
Katie, no, you are not being a drama queen, your friend was the insensitive one and should have either paid you for the ipad or wiped it when she was done with it. And how rude of her to keep it for several months and then lie to you about not having used it!
I have been reading, but too busy to comment, or it's so late when I get caught up I just have to go to bed! Work has been busy, so no catching up there! I like that it's been busy, the day just goes so much faster, but I do like getting caught up on here when I'm there. Oh well. Guess I should just be happy to have a job that I like and that pays me a decent wage!
I have had a bit of surgery on my toes. The nails on my big toes were horribly ingrown and quite painful as a result. Last Monday a went to a podiatrist and he cut out the nails and applied a chemical to part of the nail root so that the nail would grow out to a normal size. I'm very happy to have had it done as I know it will feel so much better, but I'm not quite there yet! The chemical causes a burn to occur, so every now and then, I feel like my toe is on fire. It's a bit uncomfortable, to say the least. But I am noticing a difference already, not as much pain, and I am leaving the toes uncovered for longer periods of time too. For instance, after my shower last night, I bandaged. This afternoon I had a manicure and then stopped and picked up some groceries. Also stopped by my son's place to give him back his house key from when I kitty sat. (Got to see grandkids! Grandson is now greeting me with smiles and hugs, so nice! Love that kid to bits. Granddaughter is still not sure, but she just turned one in May, so need to give her some time too) Anyway, as soon as I got home, the socks and bandages came off. I have still been wearing my slippers, but they are pretty loose and still give the toes some good air time. The doc wanted me to take photos of them on Sunday night and email them to him so he could see how they were doing. He emailed back that they are looking good, so I'll just keep doing what I'm doing! When I had the consult in Feb, he talked about coming back in a week after the procedure, but with the pandemic more stuff is being done online. And I submitted my receipts for the consult and procedure and the benefits package covered it all! WooHoo!
I haven't been to the gym since the procedure, but am going to try to ride my bike to work on Thurs and just see how things go. I will be getting back to the gym next week for sure.
Must close this for now. Hugs for those needing them, congrats to those celebrating and welcome to the newbies!
Evelyn, on Vancouver Island where the weather could not make up it's mind yesterday!
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I forgot to post my one and only goal result! My only goal is to weigh less at the end of the month than the beginning. Well, it depends on which calendar you use. If I stick with my official wi day, then I lost 1.4 lbs in August. If I actually use the weight on the last day of Aug, then I gained 1.4 lbs....... Sigh.
Need to get off my butt more!
Evelyn, Vancouver Island2 -
Thanks Barbie for starting us on another month. Missed the last few days (weeks?) of August, been busy decorating so haven't had time to catch up. Might be absent for some of September too as I've just found out that a relative is in hospital recovering from a broken hip. Poor thing couldn't contact anyone to let them know because she only popped out for a carton of milk and slipped on the wet floor of the local shop and didn't take her mobile with her and couldn't remember anyone's numbers. I think the hospital managed to find her niece who lives in Shipley who told the York relatives. I managed to see her yesterday afternoon, had to make an appointment as only one person per ward is allowed in. She's in good spirits but it's going to be a long haul as she lives in a first storey flat, not sure how she'll manage the stairs.
So sorry I've not caught up with all your news, I hope each and every one of you are doing okay, I'll check back in when I can, but feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything at the moment and need to take a step back.
Take care and love to all
Viv UK5 -
Machka, that dental work does not sound like fun, but I am glad you are getting it taken care of. Do you have a dental package thru work? I used to have a good one, it paid for 50% of the cost of the 5 crowns that I have, now I would have to dip deep into savings to pay for any that I needed as my current package only pays for basic work. When I was getting them done, the cost was between $1000 and $1200. 50% of that was enough! Also, thank you for reposting Barbie's link, I missed it and you saved me having to go back and try to find it.
Evelyn, on Vancouver Island where the weather could not make up it's mind yesterday!
Employers in Australia don't provide health care packages to employees. Unlike in Canada, we don't get "benefits". That came as a little bit of a surprise to me!
But we do get good pay and great holiday time.
M in Oz0 -
Dr Katie Here is a hug, but I won't offer any advice as to your being wronged. That is the story of my life. I live by the rule that has been passed down for generations in my family of always leaving things better than you found them. I have never understood how "friends" could borrow things and forget to return them or loan them out to others or return them damaged and never offer to replace or fix them. You are not overacting. This is one reason I have a lot of ex-friends.
Barbara I was having some pain by my glaucoma eye yesterday and thought about Joe and the draining tube so I had my pressures checked. They were still at 10, so I just did the heat pad thing and it is better but still not to my liking. I just can't imagine having a drain tube. I hope he is finding some relief.
Betsy I am amazed by all the Pacific Northwest girls on this thread. Lots of ex PNW also. I can't believe this MFP site has been around for many years and I only recently found it.
Faye in Northcentral OR
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Thank you Barbie and Machka for bringing us into September!
I just saw the pic of the treats that Pip and Kirby made for Yogi. It reminded me of a story: Years ago, when my kids were teens and the local businesses were just beginning to cater to clients with dogs, Colin and Lauren went into a local day spa to pick up a gift card to give to me for my birthday. Lauren spotted a plate of "cookies" on the counter with a sign that said "help yourself". She did and chewed a bit and threw the rest of the cookie away, telling Colin they tasted horrible! What she failed to notice, (Colin noticed and didn't say anything), all of the cookies were shaped like bones or fire hydrants! lol She had eaten a doggie treat! Poor Colin had to keep the funny story to himself until I opened the gift. LOL!
September is a good month to reintroduce myself to any newer ladies. My name is Kelly or KJ and I live in a small lakeside town in West Michigan (USA). I am 53 years old. I have been married for 31 years, I have three children (ages 33, 30, 26), I have two grandsons living in Texas. I have been a childcare provider for 26+ years. I hit menopause early (mid 40s), so I am hoping I am at the tail end of it. A combination knee and ankle injury (and re-injury) about seven years ago was the beginning of a fitness decline and eight gain for me. At that time I was already about forty pounds over weight; but the need to rest due to injury and some depression made another forty pounds attach itself to me quite easily. So...here I am 5'8" and 239 pounds and 53, active job, hubby with advanced RA and not able to do much physical work (adding that to my responsibilities), trying to work my way back down to my ideal weight (probably about 140-145). I am tired, but I can do this! I am also so thankful for all of you ladies and this group. YOur life stories keep me motivated, and our daily chats keep life in perspective! Love and hugs to you all! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)9 -
Morning, afternoon and evening, all... kinda soapboxing it here, as well as remembering these things for myself.
Beth
Time for a reality check: Stop with the shame game!
We've been indoctrinated from birth with this notion that, if we're overweight, we are weak and lazy, and it is simply not true.
Stop being ashamed, stop hating yourself, stop punishing yourself. You know all these things at the surface level but you really need to realize the fact that by beating up on yourself, you are loading even more stress onto what is already a tremendously stressful time (your son's hospitalization, his coming home, trying to make food he can eat, Covid-19, our country's issues, for just a few). You cannot fail your son, and SOMEthing has to give, so you "fail" yourself.
In order to make yourself feel better, you try to change the way you feel with food. The problem is, at the very moment it hits your tongue, for just one truly fleeting second, it works, because it hits your dopamine levels. You feel different. And then the shame and the blame and the self-destruction cycles out again. It's so freaking vicious that we begin to despair.
Stop being angry with yourself. Stop hurting and hating and punishing you. Pat your own little head, and say, "It's OK," and start making the choices now that will get you where you want. Have the *kitten* peanut butter cup, but just have one, add it into your calorie count, and go on with your day without the emotional overload. It is a peanut butter cup, not a life choice, not a failure, not a sin. Each choice you make that leads you where you want to go is a teeny-tiny little hit of dopamine, as well. Come here for another hit of dopamine when we say, "Well done!"
But stop hating my friend, you do not deserve to feel that way. None of us do.
Katiebug
I don't think your reaction was an overreaction. It was in line with what the situation warranted.
Evie
I'm glad you had your toes worked on, sounds like they really needed it.
Viv
Take your time, dear heart. We'll still be here when you get back. Many good thoughts and wishes winging their way to your relative. Broken hips are no fun.3 -
"Get to do"s and "chose well"sChose well: confirm dermatologist cancelled, typed hymns.
Bonus: listened to Joe, one load of laundry, liberated the baby Grand Fir, dogs to power line easement and back up twice.
Get to do: take pics of car, call progressive adjuster, library, bank, post office, pack, BB&B, Pilot tech support 5034447924 to link subscription and fix login, measure potential greenhouse space and distance to outlet, make experimental almond paste, declutter sideboard, practice new dances (Nothing but You, Shake it like that, Larger than Life, Here I Go Again/Mama Mia, Real Deal, Get it Right); make garlic almonds for Barb and Dan; prep potato area and raised beds for beets, carrots, parsley root, parsnips, radishes and sow; finish weeding drive, continue weeding flower bed, mulch flowerbed; invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine. Reward: inventory seeds, plan fall cool season garden, order replenishments, figure out where to plant naked lady bulbs.
Self Care September
2: be willing to share feelings/ask for help
Thank you all dear friends. Being able to express my fear and anxiety here helps me to be truly calm, really focus on and listen to Joe. I’d be lost without you all.
Lisa hoping you, Corey and Egg are safe from the flash floods and tornadoes the Weather Channel has been forecasting for Arkansas.
Beth ((hugs)) September is self-care month, a good time for us to be a little kinder to ourselves?
Kay ((hugs)) so upsetting when a friend abuses our trust AND lies for no reason. Better angry than hurt, imho.
Tracey your story of sleep after your stressful job reminds me of Mama. Papa was wheelchair bound for 17 years, but she got him out to weekly church, bridge games even dinner out. When he passed, she slept for an entire summer.
Kim will the naked lady bulbs survive dry until the autumn rains or do I need to water them in?
Faye, how easy is it for you to have the pressure checked? Walk in or wait for appointment? So glad your pressure is still down at 10, sorry the pain persists.
Walked the pups down to the powerline easement and back up the hill twice as there will be days this month when I won’t be able to walk them at all. Felt good to deposit an extra in the activity bank.
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMODAugust: better than July.
daily: sit withJoe: 2, weigh: 1, steps>5491=3985 vits=1 log=1 CI<CO=1 CI<250<CO=0 Tumble & Shadow 5=2 mfp=1 outside=2 up hill=2
wkly: T’ai Chi or BB&B x3= rx= dance= clean 30 mins=.5
mnthly: board mtg= grant= 20for20=
bonus: AF=0 play= sew=4 -
Yesterday was... bad. The same old Crohn's-type symptoms, but magnified intensely.
Not for the faint of heart, so put it in a spoiler. Skip it if you're not into potty talk!Could not get more than five minutes from the bathroom, and at a couple of points, was dry-heaving into the wastebasket while getting rid of everything else in my body from the other direction. Spent most of the afternoon curled up in a chair binge-watching "Midnight, Texas"
Just so you don't think I've been dallying, to try to get this thing under control, either they've handed me or I've tried:- Small-dose laxative - led to fecal incontinence. I'll pass.
- Small-dose fiber - led to constipation, cramping, and devastating aftermath. Pass.
- Weight loss - losing more than 10 percent of my weight provided no resolution to the issue.
- The medicos gave me iron for the anemia ensuing from the blood loss. This worked to alleviate exhaustion but did nothing to resolve the issue.
- Had a gastric scope and colonoscopy done back in the spring. No diagnosis given.
I'm at my wit's end, I genuinely am... and the end of my rope, as well. I REALLY did not want to mess with doctors until this pandemic has abated somewhat, but it appears to be our steady state for a while yet to come, so I finally gave up and messaged the VA that I'd like to talk to the doctor. This mess has been going on for more than a year now--they need to start looking for an answer instead of just treating the symptoms.
I feel better now. And I'm going to go get on the elliptical and hope yesterday was an anomaly, not an ongoing thing.
Later y'all,
Lisa in AR7 -
Lisa-I’m sorry you’re going through that,and I do know what you’re going through.Ive had the exact same issue before and refused to see a doctor.It did pass eventually but I was weak for a while.But it sounds like your situation has been ongoing and you really need to be seen.Due to a recent visit with a doctor,I hope you have one that will actually Listen.
Debby in Va0 -
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