Guys/Girls: What is your real opinion on..

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  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
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    Motorsheen wrote: »
    iMago wrote: »
    hrichts wrote: »
    Okay i have a serious question but i dont really know how to ask it

    Maybe i’ll put it this way. How sure are you of your sexuality? The way you label it I mean.

    This is confusing. Okay backstory

    I cried in bed one night when I was 12 because a new girl had joined our school, and while I had had LOTS of crushes on boys, like LOTS of them, this was the first time that I felt that way about a girl. She was so gosh darn pretty and she made me feel a certain kind of way, like nervous and giddy, this sentence is a complete nightmare sorry. So I cried because I was very confused and I wondered if I was gay. I didn’t really know much about it other than what I had heard kids joke about so as far as I knew, being gay was probably terrible.

    My mom heard me sniffling and came in to talk to me. She sat on my bed and I explained my fears to her. She asked what i thought about the girl specifically and i told her that i felt like it was a crush. She smiled and told me that finding other girls attractive was perfectly normal. “Girls have naturally lovely figures. It’s normal to want to see boobs, for example. I still want to see boobs!” We laughed together at her unabashed admission and I immediately felt better. She then went on to ask me if i thought any boys were cute. I reluctantly admitted that i did. She said “see? There you go. Perfectly normal.”

    This was before bisexuality was on either of our radars so I took a lot of comfort in her confirmation of my ‘normalcy’ at that time. And I have no doubt my mom wouldn’t have batted an eye had I told her I only crushed on girls, so it wasn’t that she was steering me toward being hetero. She just wanted me to *feel* normal, whatever that actually is.

    Once I got older and understood the flaw in her logic as she put it to me that night (that liking boys or girls was mutually exclusive) I realized that I really didn’t know for sure what my true label was. And indeed, I had a crush on that new girl all through high school, though not to the same degree that I crushed on guys.

    As an adult I’ve settled on ‘i don’t know for sure because the opportunity never arose for clarity’. It’s not anything i really need further clarity on either at this point but I have wondered from time to time what other people experienced during that time in their lives and if they feel 100% confident of their preferences. I mean.. what even is normal exactly?

    So.. if you’re still reading.. what is the story for how you came to understand your preferences? Is there one? Do you ever wonder if you’re wrong?

    we lived out in the country and this little blonde girl lived next door to us.

    best i can remember is her watching me ride my bike out on the road in front of our houses. it was red and black. she waved at me and i waved back.

    then we started sitting on the bus together to ride to school. i think i was like 7 or 8 maybe.

    one day we were sitting on this little hill beside her house and i was showing her this big plastic race car toy i had like letting her roll it down the hill and stuff and then she kissed me on the cheek. i was so excited i ended up running back home after to tell my dad.

    then we moved and that was that. we met again a few times in life as we grew up through school cause that's small town life. but things change and all.

    then met again as adults. she actually reached out to me on facebook years ago after my ma had died to say she was sorry and she remembered how she was always nice to her.

    anyhow i think i made the right choice for myself.

    what kind of bike was it ?

    i swear it was one of those kids model Western flyers. but googling it i cant see one that looks the same. so I'm probably misremembering
  • CacoEther
    CacoEther Posts: 2,465 Member
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    Yoshiboobs wrote: »
    hrichts wrote: »
    3kipmx9hp6kx.gif


    For me I never gave it a thought until I was 22 drunk in a hotel with 3 other girls and all of a sudden two of them start making out, the other girl looks at me and says that we should make out too. Rest is history. But I will say looking back at my childhood it all makes sense. I had crushes and thoughts of a few women but I also thought that all girls did. I really don't know why I never put two and two together sooner.
    I was usually hopelessly in unrequited love with boys so I wasn't thinking about girls as a option. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I've historically dated men but now I'm with a woman going on two years. 🏳️‍🌈

    This is the main reason I asked the question. It’s so interesting to see what other people experience because it’s so common to assume your own experience is what everyone goes through
  • MiNinaLisa
    MiNinaLisa Posts: 648 Member
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    i've had flings with women. i'm married but i have to say - women are FAR more attractive to me than men. the first time i kissed a woman was SO different from being with a man. fireworks ;)
  • MiNinaLisa
    MiNinaLisa Posts: 648 Member
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    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings wrote: »
    hrichts wrote: »
    MaltedTea wrote: »
    hrichts wrote: »
    3kipmx9hp6kx.gif

    This is a luggage set's worth of unpacking. But first, your mom's pretty cool!

    I'm not a part of the LGBTQA+ community but consider myself an "ally in constant and continuous training." Instead of TV, I'm on YouTube. One of my fav YouTubers (who also happens to be a lesbian) said something to the effect that she and her friends make fun of cis-het women who are open to exploring relationships with other women. They had a name for these people...

    heteroflexible

    Funny, but it resonated with me.

    Perhaps it's the city I live in. I blame all of my salacious thoughts and apathy regarding people's supposedly wild stories on being a resident of Montreal. There's zero chill here and we all go about our lives like a semi-respectable version of Sodom & Gomorrah...minus the fires. Thus far, anyway.

    I've yet to have a relationship a woman. Is it possible? Perhaps.

    I'd have misogynistic detritus to rid myself of first though since my current imagined expectations to start a relationship with a woman are more ridiculous than what I'd expect of starting one with a man. And for me, that's already pretty ridiculous.

    Starting a relationship with anyone takes communication. When intimacy and companionship are involved, the need to be open with each and to each other rises exponentially.

    No matter your gender or your gender preference.

    Love matters most.

    ETA: I've got T-minus 50 or so minutes to delete if you want me to @hrichts Just say the word.

    It’s fine, i just have a lot of poster’s remorse and I can’t always stop myself deleting 😂

    I’m glad you answered though. And @iMago quoted the original so if people want to answer it i’m happy to see what others have to say. I just panicked and thought i opened a can of worms for a minute

    I have always known beyond a shadow of a doubt. Since I can remember I was always into girls, I had a MAJOR crush on my second grade teacher and was devestated when I found out she was going to get married and change her name and everything. That was my first heartbreak lol. Knowing exactly how I felt didn't make it any less confusing but it was not something I discussed with anyone, I felt instinctively shamefully at that young age and wouldn't dare express it openly, and to my parents? Yeah right.
    I awoke to my attraction for boys much later in life... 16 or so. I've since casually dated and been in relationships with both men and women. I like women better tho 😄😋 and I'm back with my ex from 20 years ago!!! She was my first girl love and now my one and only love.
    I'm gonna marry that girl 😍🖤

    i love stories like this... get that ring!
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,653 Member
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    Whats your feeling (guys and girls) on your SO not being supportive or interested in your weightloss or health journey? If you are with someone who is healthy but does not like your workout schedule, eating regimen, or your interest in the topic?

    Is it a deal breaker?

    What if they accept it...but don't want to hear about it?
  • Revolu7
    Revolu7 Posts: 1,027 Member
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    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »

    Whats your feeling (guys and girls) on your SO not being supportive or interested in your weightloss or health journey? If you are with someone who is healthy but does not like your workout schedule, eating regimen, or your interest in the topic?

    Is it a deal breaker?

    What if they accept it...but don't want to hear about it?

    I say weigh the pros and cons. Some things arent going to be 100% in sync with couples. Most people i have dated are into physical fitness but not on the same level as i am into it and thats fine. If most everything else lines up its cool. As long as they arent attacking your healthy habits and just indifferent i was always ok with it.
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
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    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »

    Whats your feeling (guys and girls) on your SO not being supportive or interested in your weightloss or health journey? If you are with someone who is healthy but does not like your workout schedule, eating regimen, or your interest in the topic?

    Is it a deal breaker?

    What if they accept it...but don't want to hear about it?

    Whether or not it's a dealbreaker would be based on whether or not they're being an *kitten* about it, from an attitudinal POV.

    But if they just don't want to hear about "it" (workout schedule, eating regimen, or your interest in the topic), then I can't fault them for that...necessarily. It can be tedious at times. How often does one really want to listen about squat form, the minutiae of a DL progression or how you rolled your eyes when the waiter forgot to put your toppings on the side as you asked?

    I mean, I get it.
  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
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    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    Revolu7 wrote: »
    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »

    Whats your feeling (guys and girls) on your SO not being supportive or interested in your weightloss or health journey? If you are with someone who is healthy but does not like your workout schedule, eating regimen, or your interest in the topic?

    Is it a deal breaker?

    What if they accept it...but don't want to hear about it?

    I say weigh the pros and cons. Some things arent going to be 100% in sync with couples. Most people i have dated are into physical fitness but not on the same level as i am into it and thats fine. If most everything else lines up its cool. As long as they arent attacking your healthy habits and just indifferent i was always ok with it.

    Yeah, I mostly feel this way till a recent convo...and im not super crazy fitness lady, where he stated he didn't like hearing about it cause it made him insecure.

    I said I'd like to be with someone who was proud of me no matter what im driven to fo


    ^^ This! This is key! Even if they don't want to hear about it regularly.

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