Things people say when you lose weight
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The smaller I get I notice friends and family (even new friends if you were thinner when you met them) notice and make comments on how little you eat. Apparently half the dish is too little.
"Eat. You haven't eaten anything. Come here, come eat." >< Yet specifically when I was 260lbs not a word was spoken from my relatives about my weight, lol.11 -
"WOW, you have a neck!" That's something that I literally heard recently that made me go, wtf??? Honestly one of the things I HATE about losing weight is that it increases my self consciousness when people comment on it, because I'm thinking, like, damn, what did you honestly think of me before??20
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HEY YOU LOOK GOOD WANNA BANG is something I've gotten frequently4
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when I tell people I can't eat something they offer, they automatically assume it's because it's unhealthy or because of my diet change. Then when I pass those people, and they're eating said item, they make overly exaggerated yum noises..
Everything they tend to order is greasy. Without a gallbladder, it makes the rest of my day unpleasant..20 -
The comment that bugs me the most is “Congratulations on losing weight. I’m proud of you.”
While I know people mean this as a compliment, it bugs me because I’ve done some pretty tough things in my life that definitely deserve congrats/proud comments more, but nope. I guess only my weight matters? 🤷♀️
I totally hear you there - weight is definitely not the most important thing about us! On the other hand though, are those other successes in your life things that most people know about or can see about you? Maybe so, maybe not - I don't know. I think the comments come not because weight is more important, really, but because many people struggle with it and it's an easily observed characteristic.17 -
I was looking for this thread earlier and couldn’t find it. Because I really needed to vent today!
Every time I see a friend of mine she tells me “You’re so skinny! You’ve lost so much weight.” Today I told her that I had a lot more weight to lose that I am morbidly obese. She kept insisting “no you’re not”. (This is not the first time we’ve had this conversation.) I patiently explained that yes, according to my BMI, I am and that I am not even half way to my goal. Being obese isn’t a judgment or me being critical of myself, it’s a fact. It is becoming harder for me to want to spend time with her.
I do not want to have to explain to everyone what I am doing, what I’m eating or not eating and then hearing them telling me what I should or shouldn’t be doing. Aarrgghhhhhhhh!
Thanks for listening!27 -
I'm teaching myself to just say "Thank you". I'm discovering the people who intend to compliment me are happy with my response and move on. The ones who were trying to put me down....well it just highlights to them and me that they are dicks! (the confused look always tickles me).
If someone wants to discuss my diet I always call it a "balanced diet" and that I enjoy a bit of everything I Iove. The reason it's working for me, is because I make a choice not to over eat...
Oh and when they want to talk about me going to the gym, I remind them I go for my mental health (my anxiety), the fact that it helps me lose weigh/tone up is a bonus.
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my husband: You don't look PREGNANT anymore!!! Grrrrr. but it was true22
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Today I told her that I had a lot more weight to lose that I am morbidly obese. She kept insisting “no you’re not”
I think people have gotten so used to seeing an overweight population that they don't have a clear picture of what a healthy weight looks like. I currently fall into the obese category, but when I described myself that way in conversation with a friend, he said "no, you're just chubby." Maybe they shy away from the stigma that the word itself carries, or maybe their perception of what constitutes obesity is skewed.16 -
I think people have gotten so used to seeing an overweight population that they don't have a clear picture of what a healthy weight looks like. I currently fall into the obese category, but when I described myself that way in conversation with a friend, he said "no, you're just chubby." Maybe they shy away from the stigma that the word itself carries, or maybe their perception of what constitutes obesity is skewed.
This! I also think that the the term morbidly obese, or even just obese, really freaks people out. I also think friends where I now live are use to seeing me around this size that this is what my normal is to them.
I agree with a previous poster about accepting compliments, and I do. I have always been a very open and free to share person, so it can be challenging dealing with good friends (not strangers or acquaintances). I have learned that when it comes to losing and maintaining weight loss, that I need to not let in too many opinions and voices. What I’m doing is working. When/if it isn’t, I’ll ask for help.
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Regarding the use of the term "morbidly obese" it seems to me that a lot of people view it as a judgement or even an insult, rather than a slightly outdated technical term. Obese type I, II, III seems to be a bit more common now but there's still that dreaded "O" word. I think it also goes along with a behavior that I've indulged in myself, which is "if I don't look at it, and don't admit it exists, it doesn't exist."
I really didn't think I was doing all that badly till the weight started to come off and I realized how much better my life was with it gone. I still have a fair amount to go but I'm well past the halfway mark and I can really feel the difference. By the way, I love using a sincere "thank you" for all comments. That's a great idea.7 -
I think people have gotten so used to seeing an overweight population that they don't have a clear picture of what a healthy weight looks like. I currently fall into the obese category, but when I described myself that way in conversation with a friend, he said "no, you're just chubby." Maybe they shy away from the stigma that the word itself carries, or maybe their perception of what constitutes obesity is skewed.
This! I also think that the the term morbidly obese, or even just obese, really freaks people out. I also think friends where I now live are use to seeing me around this size that this is what my normal is to them.
I agree with a previous poster about accepting compliments, and I do. I have always been a very open and free to share person, so it can be challenging dealing with good friends (not strangers or acquaintances). I have learned that when it comes to losing and maintaining weight loss, that I need to not let in too many opinions and voices. What I’m doing is working. When/if it isn’t, I’ll ask for help.
I even had someone in an online weight loss/art-journaling group (not on MFP) argue with me (across multiple posts!) that I shouldn't describe myself as "fat" because that was a cruel thing to call myself, and I needed to think of myself in a kinder way. (If she said what I was supposed to think instead, I don't recall - I just couldn't process the whole idea. Facts are facts, in my world.)
In real life, I think "you're not fat!" or "you're not obese!" can also be seen in some cases as the socially appropriate kind, supportive thing to say to someone who says they're fat or obese (even when it's an obvious fact). Odds of that reaction increase, IME, when the person responsing "you're not ___" is of a similar or larger size.
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I think people have gotten so used to seeing an overweight population that they don't have a clear picture of what a healthy weight looks like. I currently fall into the obese category, but when I described myself that way in conversation with a friend, he said "no, you're just chubby." Maybe they shy away from the stigma that the word itself carries, or maybe their perception of what constitutes obesity is skewed.
This! I also think that the the term morbidly obese, or even just obese, really freaks people out. I also think friends where I now live are use to seeing me around this size that this is what my normal is to them.
I agree with a previous poster about accepting compliments, and I do. I have always been a very open and free to share person, so it can be challenging dealing with good friends (not strangers or acquaintances). I have learned that when it comes to losing and maintaining weight loss, that I need to not let in too many opinions and voices. What I’m doing is working. When/if it isn’t, I’ll ask for help.
I recall that my mother once told me that my nephew (then 19) had been weighed at his gym His BMI was 30, so he is a little out of shape and a bit overweight she cheerfully said I nearly choked on dinner and said Mum he is obese BMI 30 is the obese category It means he is very very overweight and she looked at her plate. She knew I was right but just would not accept it as most of my family is way too heavy5 -
Regarding the "I'm proud of you" comments from strangers - a lot of people are linguistically challenged and most probably mean impressed not proud. The rest are idiots
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Stop. For better or worse my weight loss has been public because I work in a sale position within a niche wholesale company. My company has served many of the same businesses for decades. So while I have only worked there for a few years I've worked with the same customers since day one, the same colleagues, so once the weight came off my face, people started commenting. No biggy.
But now the comments come with a you're done right or a you aren't losing more? I realize it's from a place of concern but I am not anorexic, or bulimic. I'm still losing because I have love handles, etc that I am still working on. They just don't see them because I were CLOTHES to work. Obviously. I don't like being told not to lose weight anymore than I liked being told too lose it. People can bugger off and I will do my thing.16 -
I think people have gotten so used to seeing an overweight population that they don't have a clear picture of what a healthy weight looks like. I currently fall into the obese category, but when I described myself that way in conversation with a friend, he said "no, you're just chubby." Maybe they shy away from the stigma that the word itself carries, or maybe their perception of what constitutes obesity is skewed.
This! I also think that the the term morbidly obese, or even just obese, really freaks people out. I also think friends where I now live are use to seeing me around this size that this is what my normal is to them.
I agree with a previous poster about accepting compliments, and I do. I have always been a very open and free to share person, so it can be challenging dealing with good friends (not strangers or acquaintances). I have learned that when it comes to losing and maintaining weight loss, that I need to not let in too many opinions and voices. What I’m doing is working. When/if it isn’t, I’ll ask for help.
I even had someone in an online weight loss/art-journaling group (not on MFP) argue with me (across multiple posts!) that I shouldn't describe myself as "fat" because that was a cruel thing to call myself, and I needed to think of myself in a kinder way. (If she said what I was supposed to think instead, I don't recall - I just couldn't process the whole idea. Facts are facts, in my world.)
In real life, I think "you're not fat!" or "you're not obese!" can also be seen in some cases as the socially appropriate kind, supportive thing to say to someone who says they're fat or obese (even when it's an obvious fact). Odds of that reaction increase, IME, when the person responsing "you're not ___" is of a similar or larger size.
When people I know say they're fat (meaning they're ugly), I always say things like "true, but you're also beautiful/gorgeous/sexy/etc. Fat is just fat, it doesn't make you unattractive."
To tell a fat person they aren't fat is pointless. They are fat. It is a thing. We all have fat, some of us have too much, or even just more than we want. That fat doesn't make us ugly or unattractive.16 -
Worst: (after asking about my diet) "That sounds like so much effort. I just eat whatever I want and never gain weight"
Best: "You look so well!"9 -
Your chest fell off 😩
Do you ever eat 😠
Hubby gives the sweetest comments 😙11 -
People say:You look so small. Is that really you?3
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"You eat a salad every day??" I did not have to answer, but I said I did with whatever vegetables, fruits etc. I want and that it's not like eating a Big Mac every day. No other comments about how I look. I don't work for this person anymore after that and "Can you have this?" over and over. I often repeated that I can have whatever I want, but not everything is beneficial to me. I had to ask her to stop talking about my diet as that is why I already have an accountability person. There were many other taxing things there. I quit.
"I didn't even recognize you" I heard after about a year of not seeing that person. That comment and the one below came from the same person.
I saw nothing healthy for breakfast that I could get with the coupon. I checked online ahead and decided on lunch at 10:30 am. The other person got breakfast (not a diner) and told me they felt uncomfortable with my choice. Haven't eaten out since with that one.
The Dr. has said "You lost weight! Just a little bit more". Sometimes she has noticed, sometimes has said nothing, so that was good to hear recently.7 -
Snoopy_OnALude wrote: »I live in the American south so i get some pretty funny ones: "s*** boy you gon dry up and blow away" "you're wastin away on us brother" and my favorite: "where's the other half of ya!?"
Never hear those in the North. Oh my gosh.3 -
A friend who's curious about how I lost weight: "so you completely eliminated sugar from your diet, or just reduced sugar?"
Euhm, neither actually, I'm not even watching my sugar intake actually
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Kaitie9399 wrote: »My MIL sucks. She’s a nasty piece of work and has absolutely no clue that what she just said to me was utterly hurtful and offensive. The stupid *kitten* had the nerve to say “You know, you should start doing face exercises so that you don’t look so gaunt”. The *kitten* nerve!!!! This coming from the morbidly obese women who hasn’t been able to conquer her food addiction has the bloody gall to say anything about anyone else!
I’m pissed.
My gosh. Ugh. I would be mad, too!!! I used to have a nasty one, too. Always trying to give me bigger sizes in clothing than I was. When I asked if I could exchange something or something like that, "Oh it's good you can wear THAT SIZE (the size I said I wanted)".3 -
@Kaitie9399salleewins wrote: »Kaitie9399 wrote: »My MIL sucks. She’s a nasty piece of work and has absolutely no clue that what she just said to me was utterly hurtful and offensive. The stupid *kitten* had the nerve to say “You know, you should start doing face exercises so that you don’t look so gaunt”. The *kitten* nerve!!!! This coming from the morbidly obese women who hasn’t been able to conquer her food addiction has the bloody gall to say anything about anyone else!
I’m pissed.
My gosh. Ugh. I would be mad, too!!! I used to have a nasty one, too. Always trying to give me bigger sizes in clothing than I was. When I asked if I could exchange something or something like that, "Oh it's good you can wear THAT SIZE (the size I said I wanted)".
Your MIL sounds like a mean person. Don’t let her get to you. You have done a wonderful thing and remember that👍6 -
The fact that they actually now speak.........?
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''Your body looks sooo small since you've lost some weight.'' is what I hear a lot.
What can I say, currently feeling more confident than ever!
Makes me smile to see so many motivated, friendly, helpful and kindhearted people here in the forums sharing their stories10 -
"Omg you look so yung"is the one I hear all the time . I am going to be 39 in 3 weeks but after every comment I wonder how old they think I was ?13
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When I recently saw someone whom I hadn't seen for a long time I said, "I've lost weight did you notice?" They said, "Yes but I didn't want to say anything in case you weren't doing it on purpose." I said "Yes I am, I've lost 4 stone!" They said, " Be careful you don't disappear!" Nothing positive to say to me, as if I look ill or something.12
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'You are getting skinny, be careful'.
I am still trying to figure out what she meant. It was coming from a lovely person and I know she meant well. On the other hand, she knows my weight loss is voluntary and not due to ill health and there is no world where my weight loss could be seen as excessive or bad for my health.5 -
Someone saw a picture of me in 2018, when I was at my healthiest and happiest. The comment was: "I can see how defined your cheekbones are. Youre not sick are you and havent told me?" (Umm... You met me when I was 20-30 pounds heavier. Duh.)
They meant well.9
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