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"Unrealistic" body goals

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Replies

  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,950 Member
    4Phoenix wrote: »
    @IronIsMyTherapy Absolutely....mindset is a critical component of lifestyle. (Tell me I can't do something...I'll work even harder and prove you wrong. But encouragement is a plus.) Congratulations on the transformation.

    Well, that's illogical. If you work harder when someone tells you you can't do something, how can encouragement be a plus?
  • J72FIT
    J72FIT Posts: 5,958 Member
    I agree that no one should be discouraged from their goals, as long as they are safe and healthy.

    But, there is a difference between "unrealistic" and "impossible".

    Using yourself as an example, you said it took you over a decade to reach your goal. You proved that it was not impossible! But, many people (I would guess a majority), don't have the patience or dedication to stick with it for so long. People get frustrated after a while, and may end up settling for something less than their ultimate goal.

    I think that, for trainers and other people in the fitness business, it's important to be honest with their clients. Saying something like, "That's a great goal, but it's going to be a long process and a lot of hard work to get there. Are you up for it?"

    ^^^This...
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,950 Member
    sijomial wrote: »
    4Phoenix wrote: »
    @IronIsMyTherapy Absolutely....mindset is a critical component of lifestyle. (Tell me I can't do something...I'll work even harder and prove you wrong. But encouragement is a plus.) Congratulations on the transformation.

    Well, that's illogical. If you work harder when someone tells you you can't do something, how can encouragement be a plus?

    Read it again and you will understand - "try EVEN harder" for emphasis.

    When I suffered severe knee injuries a surgeon telling me I had to accept being disabled was a huge motivator to try EVEN harder. It didn't make me try as I was already trying harder than most people would.

    When another surgeon with higher ambitions for his patients congratulated me on the progress I had made far and above the norm that was an encouragement to continue and a definite plus.

    But you are saying that encouragement is inferior to discouragement as a motivator. Thus it is only a plus compared to someone not talking to you at all.
  • durhammfp
    durhammfp Posts: 493 Member
    edited October 2020
    Deleted.
  • IronIsMyTherapy
    IronIsMyTherapy Posts: 482 Member
    kimny72 wrote: »
    In the last few days I've seen a girl in her 20s be told that wanting a flat belly is unrealistic and a guy be told that sub 10% bf was largely genetics.

    When I started my journey, I was obese and from Day 1 I had a "unrealistic" goal physique. It took me over a decade but I achieved that goal and so have hundreds of thousands of other people so why call it unrealistic? It's only so if you believe it.

    Instead of discouraging someone looking to achieve something remarkable, why not just say "go for it!"?

    Thoughts?

    Do you know what the background of the relationship between each trainer and these clients were? Was this an intro session, or had they been working together for months? Is it possible the trainer had become familiar with these clients' strengths and lifestyles and was starting to see that these goals "were" unrealistic for them?

    I agree perhaps saying a goal is a long term goal that will require hard work, patience, and dedication and still might not be possible is a better choice of words than "unrealistic". But I'll add that we see lots of people (especially women) come here feeling like worthless failures because they can't get a flat belly or a big butt or a specific BF% and they have no idea that depending on your genetics these can be extreme and possibly "unrealistic" goals. There are a decent % of women who would need to become underweight to have the flat bellies they see in Insta posts. And maybe if someone had told them that 10 years ago they'd be happier and healthier today. Lots of folks live their entire lives feeling like crap about themselves because they are trying to live up to unrealistic expectations.

    I know I'm being a bit pedantic, but hey, it's the Debate forum :wink: I don't necessarily disagree with you, just not sure it's as cut and dry as it sounds.

    It wasn't a trainer and client, it was random people on MFP replying to others that had made posts. The context was there to plainly see and it made me mad! Some guy whose profile picture looked in good shape said something like "I want a sub 10% beach body" and a guy replied that it would be virtually impossible without the right genetics. Sure, it will take work but that's just BS.