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Height-ism?

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  • FutureFit2020FutureFit2020 Member Posts: 120 Member Member Posts: 120 Member
    At least this way, I can keep my cats. Probably a better trade off anyway lol

    They don't hog the remote or drink your beer.
  • bmeadows380bmeadows380 Member Posts: 2,938 Member Member Posts: 2,938 Member
    @futurefit2020

    Well, in my brother's case, he's not a controlling creep but i do think he's rather an idiot. He went and found him a wife that "needs" him alright; she sits on the couch and has emotional breakdowns while he works 10 hours a day and then does all the housework, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the 3 month old and 6 month old. She even expect him to get up and feed the infant because "she's just stressed" even though he is a trucker and needs to be up the next morning to drive.

    Real peach, my sister in law......
  • psychod787psychod787 Member, Premium Posts: 3,869 Member Member, Premium Posts: 3,869 Member
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    zamphir66 wrote: »
    Theoldguy1 wrote: »
    zamphir66 wrote: »
    durhammfp wrote: »
    I think it's actually good to know up front if someone is that shallow...it saves everyone from wasting their time.

    So true. Just swipe past all those folks.

    I was married before online dating became the big thing it it now. Do people not meet through friends, at parties, through shared hobbies/interests any longer?

    Not in the age of COVID.

    And even before COVID, I live in rural Appalachia. Single women my age are generally pillbillies, Pentecostal, or otherwise tragic in some way.

    Surprised with this outlook you don't have women beating down your door to date you.

    Maybe it wasn't clear, but I'm referring to single women around my age in my rural area. So it's not really an outlook so much as an observation.


    Wonder what the single women in your area think about the single guys?


    I'm a single woman in rural Appalachia and while I love my home and live here because its where I want to be, the sad truth is that with as poor as the region is and as bad a shape as the economy is, a huge subset of the population are drug addicts/alcoholics, etc. Often the good ones have to leave the area to find decent work, and with it being rural, there are few to no opportunities or places to go to meet someone, ESPECIALLY when you are older than 25. The good ones get snapped up very quickly and is very much a case of "all the good ones are gone."


    I mean, how have you not been on a date at age 41?????

    That's you, my friend, not the Pentecostals.
    nitalieben wrote: »
    durhammfp wrote: »
    I think it's actually good to know up front if someone is that shallow...it saves everyone from wasting their time.

    So true. Just swipe past all those folks.

    I was married before online dating became the big thing it it now. Do people not meet through friends, at parties, through shared hobbies/interests any longer?

    Not if they're a socially awkward, friendless introvert who doesn't go to parties (Oh, hey, that's me!)

    I'm 40 and have never been on a date; I'm 40 and have never even been ASKED on a date. But I wasted my youth being very obese, too. And I am an introverted person who doesn't like crowds or the party scene (even if I knew of parties to go to); I prefer smaller groups and one on one interaction. I can carry a conversation just fine and am friendly but that just means I have a lot of acquaintances and a few close friendships and I've only ever had one person ever ask to set me up with someone (and that didn't lead to anything - not even a phone call).

    But I've come to realize that I am that socially awkward person and that my interests and outlook on life is apparently very much out of step with the norm, so I have no idea where one is supposed to go to find others with my similar outlook. Online dating has proven fruitless and I don't know where one goes to mingle with singles in my area; everyone I know are single by choice or already have someone and don't know of anyone that is "looking"

    So I'm just coming to grips with the idea that whether I want it or not, singleness is my future.

    At least this way, I can keep my cats. Probably a better trade off anyway lol


    kshama2001 wrote: »
    It's simply a matter of what you're attracted to, nothing more. I'm 5' 10" and well over 6' in heels. I prefer to date men over 6' because I don't enjoy feeling like a giraffe next to a man. When I was on dating sites I would get messages from men telling me to change my profile because "some men like dating taller women." The fact that they would even tell me to change my own standards and preferences to accommodate strangers is ludicrous.

    I had a male friend tell me I'd have better luck if I "dumbed it down"



    One guy asked me about my interests (which include home renovation projects). He told me I'm too independent and need to learn how to lean on a man, because men like to feel needed. Okay, then...


    My brother actually told me this, too. When I asked him for a guy's opinion on what a guy sees when they look at me, he told me I was too independent and could do everything and didn't need a man and men wanted to be needed.

    Yeah.....

    Course I also told him that I did "everything" (including home renovation projects and minor vehicle repairs, travel out of state wherever I wanted alone, yard work, etc) because it had to be done and someone had to do it, and that I'd love to have someone come along who'd offer to help me out. Besides, I"m not interested in being treated like the "little woman"; I want a partner not a slave or a doormat, nor do I care to be a slave or a doormat.

    My family has a small house in a up on the Mt. In a little placed called tellico plains tnn. It has become a little touristy in the last 10 years since they finished the "Tail of the Dragon", but for years it was just a dot on the map. When we were growing up, we spent many a summer up there and were known as the "flat landers" because we are from north Florida. The big joke was we were the most popular kids with the opposite sex because we were not related to anyone. I can say that what you say about drugs, unemployment, alcohol, and the "good" ones being snapped up true are honest. Many of the young ladies were married at 16-18 years of age. Many of the folks up there are either self employed or on assistance. The tourism has done little for the economy.

  • psychod787psychod787 Member, Premium Posts: 3,869 Member Member, Premium Posts: 3,869 Member
    At least this way, I can keep my cats. Probably a better trade off anyway lol

    They don't hog the remote or drink your beer.

    Well ma'am, some of us single guys neither watch t.v. or drink...😉
  • zamphir66zamphir66 Member Posts: 573 Member Member Posts: 573 Member
    I'm going to de-rail my own thread just a bit to point out something else I've seen through the lens of online dating: Most profile I read have pretty strictly gender-normative expectations of men. Even women who loudly and proudly proclaim they're not a "girly girl" do imply that their partner should be a "manly man." It's interesting how women get some degree of freedom in that regard that men largely don't.

    Me, I listen to Tori Amos, read classical literature, and have 3 cats as roommates. I'm perfectly comfortable in my "girly man" skin, but at the same time, it's not really "accepted" in broader society. People who meet me in person are often surprised to discover I'm not gay. This bothered me 20 years ago, but I've thankfully gotten wiser since then.

    On the other hand, being a tomboy or, as Gillian Flynn calls her, a "cool girl," is not only accepted -- it's attractive. Think of the girl who can chug beer and enjoys watching sports. "One of the guys," etc.

    I wonder what the sociological roots of this phenomenon are.
  • KickassAmazon76KickassAmazon76 Member Posts: 1,286 Member Member Posts: 1,286 Member
    LesField wrote: »
    I'm 5'7" and think everyone over 5'10" should be put in a zoo for lanky freaks of nature lol

    as long as you sort the zoo by height and allow co-mingling of genders, I should be fine. Feed me well, give me pretty surroundings...sounds like a win
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 13,237 Member Member Posts: 13,237 Member
    Don't overthink it. There are so many stereotypes and they don't mean anything. They don't define us. Most of us have suffered the slings and arrows of bullies at one time or another. There are some of us who learn how to swim through the sharky waters.

    It's not bragging if it's true. I've had some of the greatest mentors and all of them have been through hail on earth. We need to use our heads besides something to part our ears with. Brains will take you much further than looks will. I don't care how cute you are that's a limited resource and one that fades with each passing day.

    When we arrive at the final gate all of the identifiers will be clipped off. All of the tags that you've attached to yourself are all coming off. They'll be nothing left but the skin on your bones. No one is going to ask you which party you belong to or anything else because it won't mean anything when you reach the final chute. You're walking down that one alone.

    I don't look at identifiers or tags. I don't care how much money you've got in the bank or if your home is 10,000 sq feet. I seriously do not give a rat's @$$ about all of things you have because if you don't have any corresponding integrity to go along with that it's all hay, wood, and stubble.

    Open. Mind. Insert. Possibilities.

  • bmeadows380bmeadows380 Member Posts: 2,938 Member Member Posts: 2,938 Member
    psychod787 wrote: »
    At least this way, I can keep my cats. Probably a better trade off anyway lol

    They don't hog the remote or drink your beer.

    Well ma'am, some of us single guys neither watch t.v. or drink...😉

    @psychod787

    now that's sounding like Prince Charming to me. Tell me you clean up after yourself and aren't intimated by a woman using a drill and a reciprocating saw or swinging a splitting mall and running a chainsaw and you might just be deemed the man of my dreams lol
    edited October 16
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 13,237 Member Member Posts: 13,237 Member
    I'm still a little spooked here because you sound like an elegant man to me, @zamphir66. The man I knew was elegant and had a lorra lorra good taste. We were complete opposites but man Oooo man did we click. It was thunderbolts and lightning at first glance. Sometimes, opposites really do work. ;)
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 13,237 Member Member Posts: 13,237 Member
    @psychod787 been working with women for 15 years. I surmise nothing surprises him but I'd like to be a fly on the wall to see his facial expressions. I imagine he treats them all with kindness and they can't wait to see him again.
  • bmeadows380bmeadows380 Member Posts: 2,938 Member Member Posts: 2,938 Member
    psychod787 wrote: »
    psychod787 wrote: »
    At least this way, I can keep my cats. Probably a better trade off anyway lol

    They don't hog the remote or drink your beer.

    Well ma'am, some of us single guys neither watch t.v. or drink...😉

    @psychod787

    now that's sounding like Prince Charming to me. Tell me you clean up after yourself and aren't intimated by a woman using a drill and a reciprocating saw or swinging a splitting mall and running a chainsaw and you might just be deemed the man of my dreams lol

    Lol.... as far taking care of myself, employed and can do all his own domestic duties. Intimated by women.. I'm an Male nurse, have been working with women for 15 years. As far as women who run power tools? My mother is the one who taught be to run an chainsaw and shoot as my father was far too busy. The only thing that might intimidate me is your upper body strength being greater than mine. Swinging a monster maul is one hell of an arm workout...

    @psychod787

    nope, my upper body strength is nothing spectacular; I only swing that maul during the fall when the parents are getting their winter wood in.

    *sigh* you could be the man of my dreams. Tell me you'll tolerate my 5 cats and I'm yours :tongue:

    And for the record, I am neither a pillbilly nor a Pentacostal though I live in rural Appalachia. I'm Baptist. There's a difference :lol:
    edited October 16
  • Mellouk89Mellouk89 Member Posts: 157 Member Member Posts: 157 Member
    The funny thing with women who only date men over 6ft. A quick Google search tells you that only 15% of men in the US are over 6ft. That means 85% of men are written off 🤣. That's quite something.
  • psychod787psychod787 Member, Premium Posts: 3,869 Member Member, Premium Posts: 3,869 Member
    Mellouk89 wrote: »
    The funny thing with women who only date men over 6ft. A quick Google search tells you that only 15% of men in the US are over 6ft. That means 85% of men are written off 🤣. That's quite something.

    Women can't measure anymore. They have been told 5 inches is actually 7..lol
    psychod787 wrote: »
    psychod787 wrote: »
    At least this way, I can keep my cats. Probably a better trade off anyway lol

    They don't hog the remote or drink your beer.

    Well ma'am, some of us single guys neither watch t.v. or drink...😉

    @psychod787

    now that's sounding like Prince Charming to me. Tell me you clean up after yourself and aren't intimated by a woman using a drill and a reciprocating saw or swinging a splitting mall and running a chainsaw and you might just be deemed the man of my dreams lol

    Lol.... as far taking care of myself, employed and can do all his own domestic duties. Intimated by women.. I'm an Male nurse, have been working with women for 15 years. As far as women who run power tools? My mother is the one who taught be to run an chainsaw and shoot as my father was far too busy. The only thing that might intimidate me is your upper body strength being greater than mine. Swinging a monster maul is one hell of an arm workout...

    @psychod787

    nope, my upper body strength is nothing spectacular; I only swing that maul during the fall when the parents are getting their winter wood in.

    *sigh* you could be the man of my dreams. Tell me you'll tolerate my 5 cats and I'm yours :tongue:

    And for the record, I am neither a pillbilly nor a Pentacostal though I live in rural Appalachia. I'm Baptist. There's a difference :lol:

    Born and raised southern Baptist ma'am. Cats? Oh... as long as they know to stay off my kitchen counter and dinner table. Makes me cringe thinking about an animal that poops, steps in it, and then wants to walk where I eat/ cook....
  • Mellouk89Mellouk89 Member Posts: 157 Member Member Posts: 157 Member
    I am 6'1". Most of my relationships have been with men shorter than me. (Why? because apparently they like women a foot shorter than them lol)

    In MANY cases, the person I dated claimed not to be bothered by me being 3, 4, 5" taller than them.. but I couldn't wear heels because then it'd be 6, 7, 8" and that bothered them. Sometimes they told me outright, other times I overheard them bitching to their friends, other times it became clear that my choice of apparell was not desireable. "hey, why don't you wear these ones instead?"

    In many cases I grew to feel like a freak, a monster. And it effing hurt.
    Also, being as tall as I am, there are times when I just want to feel protected and envelopped by my man's arms. When I overshadow them (and maybe even lift heavier than them), I have a hard time feeling that way. Is that a flaw on my side, maybe. It's hard to feel girly and feminine when you overpower your man.

    So when I tried dating website earlier this year, I said that I am effing tall (6'1) and like to wear heels (3") sometimes, and would prefer someone as tall as me. Was it shallow, maybe, but I am so TIRED of being hurt and rejected EVENTUALLY because of something I cannot control. I had someone message me and got very angry at me for saying that. Yet, I am sure that many other men clicked off my profile when they saw how tall *I* was.

    BMI you can gauge based on many profile pics. Breast size you can gauge. Height you cannot. Trust me, I tried. (Where does his head sit in relation to the door frame? How low is his phone?)

    As for the dating thing.. I quit after a very short time. Too many creeps and too much hassle. I'd rather be single than deal with that bs right now.

    You're rejected the same way short men are rejected for something they can't control.

    Also i'm curious how much you lift, either you are unusually strong or the men are really weak.
    edited October 16
  • bmeadows380bmeadows380 Member Posts: 2,938 Member Member Posts: 2,938 Member
    psychod787 wrote: »
    Mellouk89 wrote: »
    The funny thing with women who only date men over 6ft. A quick Google search tells you that only 15% of men in the US are over 6ft. That means 85% of men are written off 🤣. That's quite something.

    Women can't measure anymore. They have been told 5 inches is actually 7..lol
    psychod787 wrote: »
    psychod787 wrote: »
    At least this way, I can keep my cats. Probably a better trade off anyway lol

    They don't hog the remote or drink your beer.

    Well ma'am, some of us single guys neither watch t.v. or drink...😉

    @psychod787

    now that's sounding like Prince Charming to me. Tell me you clean up after yourself and aren't intimated by a woman using a drill and a reciprocating saw or swinging a splitting mall and running a chainsaw and you might just be deemed the man of my dreams lol

    Lol.... as far taking care of myself, employed and can do all his own domestic duties. Intimated by women.. I'm an Male nurse, have been working with women for 15 years. As far as women who run power tools? My mother is the one who taught be to run an chainsaw and shoot as my father was far too busy. The only thing that might intimidate me is your upper body strength being greater than mine. Swinging a monster maul is one hell of an arm workout...

    @psychod787

    nope, my upper body strength is nothing spectacular; I only swing that maul during the fall when the parents are getting their winter wood in.

    *sigh* you could be the man of my dreams. Tell me you'll tolerate my 5 cats and I'm yours :tongue:

    And for the record, I am neither a pillbilly nor a Pentacostal though I live in rural Appalachia. I'm Baptist. There's a difference :lol:

    Born and raised southern Baptist ma'am. Cats? Oh... as long as they know to stay off my kitchen counter and dinner table. Makes me cringe thinking about an animal that poops, steps in it, and then wants to walk where I eat/ cook....

    @psychod787

    Well, they stay off the counters, but I do have to keep a table cloth on the dining room table, and make sure to sanitize it every time I use it - will that be adequate?
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