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Height-ism?

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  • nitaliebennitalieben Member, Premium Posts: 644 Member Member, Premium Posts: 644 Member
    durhammfp wrote: »
    I think it's actually good to know up front if someone is that shallow...it saves everyone from wasting their time.

    So true. Just swipe past all those folks.

    I was married before online dating became the big thing it it now. Do people not meet through friends, at parties, through shared hobbies/interests any longer?

    Not if they're a socially awkward, friendless introvert who doesn't go to parties (Oh, hey, that's me!)
  • Bluetail6Bluetail6 Member, Premium Posts: 1,213 Member Member, Premium Posts: 1,213 Member
    My sister always has a Jerry in her life and there is always maximum drama involved. On the questionably positive side, she has no filters for race, height, age, etc. She usually meets them through friends. Her minimum requirements are low to non-existent; one guy cleaned her bathroom on his first visit then moved in.[/quote]

    I can almost get this -- I hate cleaning my bathroom![/quote]

    Forgive me..... I got 'nothin." :#:#:D:D Seriously, that's all I got. No offense to anyone, please.

  • kshama2001kshama2001 Member Posts: 22,708 Member Member Posts: 22,708 Member
    Slacker16 wrote: »
    If it really bothers you: women are terrible at evaluating a dude's height IRL. Just saying... o:)

    Someone should compare the distribution of male height on dating apps with that of the general male population.

    That's because men are lying, not because woman are terrible at evaluating men's heights.

    I've done a lot of online dating and think I only met two men who didn't lie about their heights, and one of the liars was 6'3" and lied about being 6'4"! (My ex was 6'4" and I knew what standing next to someone that height was like.)

    OK Cupid did the comparison:

    https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-big-lies-people-tell-in-online-dating-a9e3990d6ae2
  • TonyB0588TonyB0588 Member Posts: 9,417 Member Member Posts: 9,417 Member
    Tried to read through this whole thread and I'm confused. When I got married 32 years ago, there were no dating apps (as far as I know). I find it hard to believe this is now the "normal" way to meet people and finally find a life partner. Actually people don't even seem to marry for life anymore.

    As for preferences, I was adamant about a few "would never's" and "must be's" in my head, but the person I met didn't match all those criteria. Nobody will ever meet all the criteria!! This is not a fairy tale story, but I think we're still living "happily ever after" as they used to say in the books.

  • janejellyrolljanejellyroll Member Posts: 24,298 Member Member Posts: 24,298 Member
    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    Tried to read through this whole thread and I'm confused. When I got married 32 years ago, there were no dating apps (as far as I know). I find it hard to believe this is now the "normal" way to meet people and finally find a life partner. Actually people don't even seem to marry for life anymore.

    As for preferences, I was adamant about a few "would never's" and "must be's" in my head, but the person I met didn't match all those criteria. Nobody will ever meet all the criteria!! This is not a fairy tale story, but I think we're still living "happily ever after" as they used to say in the books.

    I wouldn't say that it is THE normal, but it is certainly "a" normal. It's not at all unusual to hear that someone has met a long-term partner online and even less unusual for people to use dating apps to arrange dates.
  • TonyB0588TonyB0588 Member Posts: 9,417 Member Member Posts: 9,417 Member
    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    Tried to read through this whole thread and I'm confused. When I got married 32 years ago, there were no dating apps (as far as I know). I find it hard to believe this is now the "normal" way to meet people and finally find a life partner. Actually people don't even seem to marry for life anymore.

    As for preferences, I was adamant about a few "would never's" and "must be's" in my head, but the person I met didn't match all those criteria. Nobody will ever meet all the criteria!! This is not a fairy tale story, but I think we're still living "happily ever after" as they used to say in the books.

    I wouldn't say that it is THE normal, but it is certainly "a" normal. It's not at all unusual to hear that someone has met a long-term partner online and even less unusual for people to use dating apps to arrange dates.

    Yes. Clearly the world is changing dramatically. Unfortunately, it appears that advertising for the ideal partner isn't guaranteeing long term relationships.

    Regarding the original post, height-ism surely doesn't have to be a thing. I know a short man with a big tall wife, and two bigger men with very short tiny wives. All seem quite happy to me.
  • FutureFit2020FutureFit2020 Member Posts: 120 Member Member Posts: 120 Member
    "some men like dating taller women."

    Oh well in that case....
  • janejellyrolljanejellyroll Member Posts: 24,298 Member Member Posts: 24,298 Member
    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    TonyB0588 wrote: »
    Tried to read through this whole thread and I'm confused. When I got married 32 years ago, there were no dating apps (as far as I know). I find it hard to believe this is now the "normal" way to meet people and finally find a life partner. Actually people don't even seem to marry for life anymore.

    As for preferences, I was adamant about a few "would never's" and "must be's" in my head, but the person I met didn't match all those criteria. Nobody will ever meet all the criteria!! This is not a fairy tale story, but I think we're still living "happily ever after" as they used to say in the books.

    I wouldn't say that it is THE normal, but it is certainly "a" normal. It's not at all unusual to hear that someone has met a long-term partner online and even less unusual for people to use dating apps to arrange dates.

    Yes. Clearly the world is changing dramatically. Unfortunately, it appears that advertising for the ideal partner isn't guaranteeing long term relationships.

    Regarding the original post, height-ism surely doesn't have to be a thing. I know a short man with a big tall wife, and two bigger men with very short tiny wives. All seem quite happy to me.

    I don't think anything can guarantee a long term relationship. People have been splitting up forever.

    As time passes and we have more data on the long term success of the relationships of people that met online, I guess we'll be able to draw more solid conclusions.

    I don't know if getting matched by an app is that different from some of the forms of matching we've had in the past -- being fixed up by friends, personals ads, dating services, speed dating. People have formed lasting relationships (and nightmare partnerships) via these for a while now. You have basic criteria (your friends know you like funny guys, you tell the dating service you prefer blondes, whatever), you meet someone, you see where chemistry and fate takes the both of you. You still need to be able to interest someone and generate a spark no matter what you do. And if you decide to be serious, you need the skills and communication to make a relationship work.

    My husband and I met online (back when it was more like personal ads) and it's completely irrelevant to our lives fifteen years later. I know couples who've met on Tinder or similar aps and it seems to be the same with them.
  • MiniMansell1964MiniMansell1964 Member Posts: 183 Member Member Posts: 183 Member
    I watched a tv program where one woman actually said she would choose an ex con over a man shorter than her.

  • mom23mangosmom23mangos Member Posts: 3,037 Member Member Posts: 3,037 Member
    It seems like a lot of people in recovery tend to me significant others through recovery related activities...meetings, outings, etc. They have a lot in common and know what the other one is going through.
  • Slacker16Slacker16 Member Posts: 1,125 Member Member Posts: 1,125 Member
    kshama2001 wrote: »
    Slacker16 wrote: »
    If it really bothers you: women are terrible at evaluating a dude's height IRL. Just saying... o:)

    Someone should compare the distribution of male height on dating apps with that of the general male population.

    That's because men are lying, not because woman are terrible at evaluating men's heights.

    I've done a lot of online dating and think I only met two men who didn't lie about their heights, and one of the liars was 6'3" and lied about being 6'4"! (My ex was 6'4" and I knew what standing next to someone that height was like.)

    OK Cupid did the comparison:

    https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-big-lies-people-tell-in-online-dating-a9e3990d6ae2
    Evidently, OkCupid users are taller and wealthier than average. What other explanation could there be? :p

    Tbh, I think it's both men lying and women not really being able to tell. YMMV but, in my experience, people (regardless of gender) only truly perceive five heights: "about the same as me", "a bit shorter", "a bit taller", "much shorter" and "much taller"; and most men would fall into the "a bit taller" and "much taller" categories with regards to most women.
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