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We broke up because...

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  • LaneaJLaneaJ Member Posts: 1,641 Member Member Posts: 1,641 Member
    She was a hermit and insisted we move to her beach house "with a view". Turned out hermit crabs were her spirit animal. The beach house was an ocean front cave.
  • Bridge_marieBridge_marie Member Posts: 9,795 Member Member Posts: 9,795 Member
    They didn’t get me. Lol
  • FabulousFantasticFiftyFabulousFantasticFifty Member Posts: 188,015 Member Member Posts: 188,015 Member
    I just didn't get her lol's
    Especially at Auntie Margie's Funeral
  • Hotspur11Hotspur11 Member Posts: 2,324 Member Member Posts: 2,324 Member
    I didn't want to go dancing one night, 2 broken kneecaps and a fractured skull later and I'm only just recovering
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Member, Premium Posts: 257,972 Member Member, Premium Posts: 257,972 Member
    Exaggerated all time.. it was 2 bruised knees and a teenie tiny scrape on his forehead
  • PaperDoll_PaperDoll_ Member Posts: 27,660 Member Member Posts: 27,660 Member
    She didn’t like my yumyum sauce. ☹️
  • FabulousFantasticFiftyFabulousFantasticFifty Member Posts: 188,015 Member Member Posts: 188,015 Member
    Her yumyum sauce must have been replaced with yukyuk sauce 😖
    I think it was her Ex trying to keep me away! 😧
    edited December 2020
  • Ironwoman1111Ironwoman1111 Member Posts: 1,436 Member Member Posts: 1,436 Member
    Was jealous of my 12 fingers and 12 toes!👊🏽😎
    edited December 2020
  • kjm3579kjm3579 Member Posts: 3,976 Member Member Posts: 3,976 Member
    She was doing strange things with those 12 fingers and 12 toes!
  • FabulousFantasticFiftyFabulousFantasticFifty Member Posts: 188,015 Member Member Posts: 188,015 Member
    He was always talking about his Ex's Interphalangeal joints. 😧
  • kjm3579kjm3579 Member Posts: 3,976 Member Member Posts: 3,976 Member
    She talked like an anatomy professor.
  • FabulousFantasticFiftyFabulousFantasticFifty Member Posts: 188,015 Member Member Posts: 188,015 Member
    He left me and Dear Heart for a Ditzy Airhead! 🥴
  • PlentyofProtein00PlentyofProtein00 Member Posts: 2,670 Member Member Posts: 2,670 Member
    When I left I said I was going to get some strawberry airheads!??? Doors were locked, lights were out when I got back 😑
  • LaneaJLaneaJ Member Posts: 1,641 Member Member Posts: 1,641 Member
    She would go to random houses in the neighborhood in the middle of the night, bang on their doors, and yell profanities. The neighbors couldn't convince her she didn't live there. The law knew midnight calls to our neighborhood were her. We had to move three times. 🤦🏻‍♀️
  • FabulousFantasticFiftyFabulousFantasticFifty Member Posts: 188,015 Member Member Posts: 188,015 Member
    Too mysterious as she never knew how to answer when I'd ask where she's from. 🥴
  • FabulousFantasticFiftyFabulousFantasticFifty Member Posts: 188,015 Member Member Posts: 188,015 Member
    She'd always bring back posts from a month ago! 😜
  • Cat0703aCat0703a Member Posts: 6,469 Member Member Posts: 6,469 Member
    She preferred to date herself! 😐
  • PaperDoll_PaperDoll_ Member Posts: 27,660 Member Member Posts: 27,660 Member
    I could only see her if I scheduled a meeting and most of the time slots were always unavailable.
  • yasminekassis613yasminekassis613 Member Posts: 268 Member Member Posts: 268 Member
    I didn’t keep the house tidy enough for her.
  • Cat0703aCat0703a Member Posts: 6,469 Member Member Posts: 6,469 Member
    @PaperDoll_ She was only available to me M-F from 8am-4pm EST and at 3am on Saturdays. It seemed like she had another life I wasn't a part of. 🤔

    @yasminekassis613 she didn't appreciate my critical eye
    edited January 4
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