Less Alcohol - JANUARY 2021 - One Day At A Time
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@HerNameIsMischief the fact that you are even posing the question of “do I really enjoy treating myself badly” is a huge step!
Alcohol (or drugs) masks and numbs the pain we feel, whether from adverse childhood experiences, mourning a recent death, or whatever painful emotion we live with. Cut back even one drink and it seems like those “pain monsters” come roaring back. Holy cow! Reach for a drink to push away the emotions, wake up the next day full or regret and self loathing. Wash rinse repeat.
It sounds to me like you have some past trauma that needs to be addressed, along with finding another coping mechanism that works better for you. I highly recommend working with a qualified therapist to help you on your journey.
As for being more comfortable being miserable, I think we are comfortable with what we know. A script repeats in our heads and we bow down to that script. Case in point, I was , for the longest time, more comfortable walking on eggshells because I grew up in a household where we all had to watch that we didn’t set my mother off on one of her tirades. The fact that I moved out, married and didn’t live with her anymore? Didn’t matter! I was still more comfortable walking on eggshells because it was so deeply programmed into me. Yes I got over it!
So, just know that you are worthy of a happy life, and there are resources out there to help you. I won’t promise it will be easy, but it will ultimately be rewarding. You’ll probably be one step forward, two steps back for a time, but the idea is to move forward. You can absolutely do this. We believe in you, even if right now you don’t believe in yourself.8 -
The thing is, I've been drinking pretty much daily for a long time and this is a pretty new occurrence. I'm used to getting sick after maybe a week's worth of drinking and getting the jitters and maybe puking, but not this new gastrointestinal problem. It's not severe, but it's been happening virtually every night for at least a week.
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Hi Gang! Work about did me in last week but I was bold. I had a convo with my boss. She's new. Had no idea I have been going non-stop 10-12 hour days since Oct. Good convo. Wanted to drink a million times, but I haven't--largely because I was vocal about Dry Jan. Who is still dry out there this year? I may not be by tomorrow. We're going to Moosehead today and actually to dinner for the first time in months and I might just have 2 glasses of wine. Or I may not. After all, I started my Dry Jan day after Thanksgiving, so I've got a few consecutive days in.
@HerNameIsMischief Love your handle! All I can say is that you've got to get to what is making you want to escape reality to truly get to a good place. You can try all the tactics here, but it's going to be super hard if you are always chasing the buzz/escape. I started therapy lately--specifically looked for a therapist who deals with addiction and then regular psycho junk. It's helping a lot. But even for some people journaling helps, as do communities like this one.11 -
Finally, it happened, got in an AF day and on a Friday....score now at 7 AF/22 days.
I got in an hour of bodypump and increased the weights. Then I did 20 minutes of "hip hop step". It was fun but HARD, felt like I ran up stairs the whole time and I was soaked and dripping with sweat. Yep sweat puddles on the floor. Followed by a bath and a nap. Rough day8 -
Forgot to mention today I have family visiting so the plan today is to indulge but set a start and end time. Today it will be 1 to 3pm. Plan is to consume anything but stop when starting to get 80% full. Involves cake, ice cream, fried goodies, carbs, and a bottle of red wine I can share. But when time is up, that's it. That fridge closes at 3pm. Water only until next day.
Reminds me, I better get a long run in now.5 -
@mainelylisa good to see you are still kick'n it. I did not commit to a dry January, I committed to a misty January and have been doing great. Averaging 1 standard drink per week.
I would say you have clearly done your DRY HOLIDAY spell. Treat yourself to a nice glass at dinner. You deserve it!
Remember to take @womona micro sips.
Have a nice time in Rockwood.3 -
@Trish1c
hmmmmmmmm.........did you read our fine print where it says anyone who bakes a cake has to share it with the rest of this group? Micro slivers will do fine. It sounds delish.
Let us know if you do notice a lower tolerance. I for one know I could never drink like I used to now that I cut way way back. And that's a blessing.3 -
@MissMay I stress bake. It's part of what caused my Covid 15. Right now I know I'm turning to sweets to deal with the lack of alcohol but I'm happy with the reduced cravings. I'm happy to send everybody a slice or here's the recipe: It's the Good Housekeeping Merryfield Apple Cake. https://www.cooks.com/recipe/3j16h777/merryfield-apple-cake.html I add flaxseed to increase the protein; I also reduce the white sugar & add 1/2 c brown sugar, I also add 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp nutmeg & 1/2 tsp allspice. Yes, there is still too much sugar & oil for a "diet" but between the apples & flaxseed, overall it's not a terribly unhealthy cake . . .or at least I console myself with that idea.
I used to be addicted to sugared soda. Diet just doesn't do it for me. Every Lent I'd give up soda. Many years I would cheat on Sundays but still going from 6 per day to 1 on Sundays was a huge win. It took many years but now I can have soda in the house & most days still opt for water or tea. It's a good feeling. Since this is my 1st dry January, I'm better with keeping it out of the house. Between Covid & the cold weather there is no going out so if it's not in the house it's not an option & that has helped.
@mainelylisa dry since Thanksgiving? Wow! There's no way I could have dealt with the family without alcohol. Then again drinking with them makes me think, I don't really drink that much.
@HerNameIsMischief -- baby steps but do take them. Your body is revolting. I'm worried for you.6 -
@HerNameIsMischief -- Your body is revolting.
I know! That's why I'm here!6 -
@Trish1c
hmmmmmmmm.........did you read our fine print where it says anyone who bakes a cake has to share it with the rest of this group? Micro slivers will do fine. It sounds delish.
Let us know if you do notice a lower tolerance. I for one know I could never drink like I used to now that I cut way way back. And that's a blessing.
))
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Good day to you all!
Just caught up on the thread and it was so eye opening today!
The self reflection from so many here has set me back on my heels to think about my own journey this month. When I found this thread at the first of January I really felt I had a home to 'lay it all out there' with a group of like struggling individuals and you have not disappointed!
This month so far I am 13 out of 22 days AF, this has not happened for me since I was pregnant with my last daughter 29 years ago!
Please continue to post and inspire @missmay please keep this thread going I so need the help and inspiration
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@HerNameIsMischief
I had posted some thing similar to this a week or so ago to give folks a guide as to what a standard
drink looks like. If your concerned about the health effects on your body from consuming alcohol then this may give you some motivation. The recommended consumption is one or two standard size drinks(depending where you are located in the world) for people. Regardless of size, age etc.
Your tall boys that you consumed last evening are 24 ounces each, that is twice the standard sized 5% beer recommendation.
I am sure you a.ready know this because you do present yourself as an intelligent man. Just thought this may give a bit of insight for you to roll around in your head.
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Good day to you all!
Just caught up on the thread and it was so eye opening today!
The self reflection from so many here has set me back on my heels to think about my own journey this month. When I found this thread at the first of January I really felt I had a home to 'lay it all out there' with a group of like struggling individuals and you have not disappointed!
This month so far I am 13 out of 22 days AF, this has not happened for me since I was pregnant with my last daughter 29 years ago!
Please continue to post and inspire @missmay please keep this thread going I so need the help and inspiration
It really pleases me you find our group so moving and helpful. There is always a new monthly thread created near the end of the present one. We will post the link next weekend. The Less Alcohol threads have been in existence since before January 2018.
😊5 -
@HerNameIsMischief
Just a point of clarification I was using "revolting" as a verb, not an adjective. Please do not think I was insulting you.4 -
@HerNameIsMischief
Just a point of clarification I was using "revolting" as a verb, not an adjective. Please do not think I was insulting you.
That was the joke.3 -
Hey I'm back. Day 3 AF in a row. Rolling total of 11 out of 23 days.
I found a friend to confide in and she is helping to hold me accountable.
I haven't cought up on the thread yet, but hope to get a chance later today.
Thank you for the ongoing support I have found here.6 -
Had only one glass both last night and tonight. Didn’t pour that 2nd glass!
So after losing my tennis match today 🙁, came home at dinner time. Had a glass of wine on an empty stomach as wonder husband cooked dinner. Holy cow! Half a glass and I was pretty tipsy! I couldn’t believe how fast I felt it. Glad I stopped at just one.
He made pizza which I will totally regret tomorrow, but it was yummy.4 -
Fishing today and brought home enough speckled trout for fish tacos with guacamole for lunch. Long afternoon walk then 2 rum w/ diet coke this evening (drinking water now). Lovely smoked roast for dinner and watched a dark comedy ... The Dressmaker. Mom, DH & I had a nice quiet evening. She is enjoying us being around and it has been nice. Though I am doing a ton of technology advice and fixing of her phone and iPad for her which consumes hours. But such is life.3
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I'm happy to send everybody a slice or here's the recipe: It's the Good Housekeeping Merryfield Apple Cake. https://www.cooks.com/recipe/3j16h777/merryfield-apple-cake.html I add flaxseed to increase the protein; I also reduce the white sugar & add 1/2 c brown sugar, I also add 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp nutmeg & 1/2 tsp allspice. Yes, there is still too much sugar & oil for a "diet" but between the apples & flaxseed, overall it's not a terribly unhealthy cake . . .or at least I console myself with that idea.
@Trish1c - I love baking apple cakes like this too. Instead of the full 1 cup of oil I use 1/2 cup of oil and then substitute applesauce for the other 1/2 cup. Still moist and even healthier! I've also tried substituting applesauce for the whole cup off and on.
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I am Dawn, I live in SE BC
I will post with my usual diary style to keep track of my AF days.
Keeping to my usual goal of 16-20 AF days per month, which is manageable for me and doesn't put too much pressure on me.
Wednesday Jan 20 - AF - Managed to get out for a little hike and a little skate after work today. After getting in from the out of doors I really really wanted a Peppermint Schnapps in Cocoa, but I had drinks only yesterday, so talked myself out of it. Hit my 16 today : - )
Thursday Jan 21 - Drinks. Micro sips sort of. Had a fantastic hike, somewhere I hadn't been in years (can't go there spring, summer, or fall because there is a momma bear with cubs each year, and it is her home plus she might kill you). I had half ounces of a few mixtures including espresso baileys with other things mixed in. I measure always since joining this thread. I fell twice on the trail yesterday on ice, I'm okay, but pretty sore.
Friday Jan 22 - AF - I didn't hike much today, pretty sore from the 3 falls that I have had since last Sunday. Epsom's bath with essential oil added, a glass of champagne would have been nice. Some other time for bubbly in the tub, not today.
Saturday Jan 23 - Drinks - Fell yet again today, this time my friend was on the icy trail with me and witnessed it. It didn't really feel like a hard fall, but I fell mostly on the palm/heel of my hand and it is very sore. Probably not an excuse to drink, but on my second and may or may not have a 3rd while I have a tiny ice pack under a pressure bandage on the area. As much as I have hurt myself in the last 6 days (4 falls now) I truly believe that I am doing less damage to my body than I would have if I was sitting on the couch or at a desk every day all day. All good. Planning AF for the next 2 days.
Rolling total 17AF days out of 23 days5
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