Welcome to Debate Club! Please be aware that this is a space for respectful debate, and that your ideas will be challenged here. Please remember to critique the argument, not the author.
"Unrealistic" body goals
Replies
-
Being confident in oneself is extremely attractive to me.5
-
cwolfman13 wrote: »deputy_randolph wrote: »I think sometimes people need the caveat of "unrealistic" attached to their idealized body type, b/c if they keep fantasizing about this body type and don't achieve it (often ppl want to achieve it quickly), they will give up completely or have adverse psychological effects.
So prefacing some statements with "Yes this body type is achievable, BUT isn't realistic for most people" is just honest. Are most people going to achieve the level of "professional" instagrammer bodies? No, it isn't a realistic goal for most people.
Agreed...reminds me of the lady that keeps posting about this booty and that with a bunch of photo-shopped Instagram pictures...also a lady that I know personally who is just skinny and petite and she's never going to have a round muscular butt or big boobs like she wants...she's just not built that way genetically and is beautiful and she just doesn't know it because she is running after something that is basically genetically impossible for her.
Most def. I think a massive problem is people get too caught up in FAKE BS on instagram. People need to quit comparing themselves to other people. You aren't this person. You are you. Quit trying to be something you aren't and be you. When you work hard, compare yourself to yourself and make yourself better, work more than the last time, work harder than last time. Make yourself do new things. You will achieve your goals for sure once you see that YOU are bettering YOURSELF. Don't be fake, don't obsess over stupid BS on instagram and think there is a standard because there isn't, unless you decide there is. Have purpose to your goals, compare yourself to yourself. Don't be fake. If you want to be skinny because its sexy, and instagram said so, than you will fail, I promise you. If you want to lose weight because you don't want to have a heart attack at 40 or you want to play sports again for example, than you will have a much better chance.
People may say something is unrealistic, because they don't have the drive, so you wouldn't either. Perhaps they compare themselves to the greats on instagram and see no hope lol. But when you compare yourself to you, in whatever that may be you will see that the improvements are absolutely real. You will slowly but certainly, become whatever that goal was, maybe it takes over a year, two years maybe more, and you will stand there, having achieved so many goals, working hard to do this, and that person who said its impossible will not have changed at all because the instagram said so, or because its too hard and unrealistic. They were too busy comparing themselves to others rather than doing something about themselves. I've seen people who were morbidly obese lose the weight and years later they are in body building competitions, and powerlifting meets. So don't think its impossible.7 -
I’m so confused, what it’s impossible for women to have flat stomachs without being underweight without periods? Overweight women are more likely to have flatter stomachs than overweight men though, like women gain weight normally more evenly over their bodies, I would say.2
-
chantellezxc wrote: »I’m so confused, what it’s impossible for women to have flat stomachs without being underweight without periods? Overweight women are more likely to have flatter stomachs than overweight men though, like women gain weight normally more evenly over their bodies, I would say.
Others have explained this better than me earlier in the thread and linked to some neat relevent threads. While some people can orchestrate the appearance of total "flatness" for a time, it generally isn't a look that is sustainable or static. Horomones, weight loss related loss of skin elasticity, health conditions, and many more factors can all prevent women (and others) from achieving the "flat stomach" look permanently or at all. Those who can achieve flat stomachs are often subject to frustrating fluctuations.
I'm currently overweight (5'2 and approx 153lbs), and under certain conditions (ie- fasting, mild dehydration, posture, angles) I can make my stomach look delightfully flat for a time, as I don't carry most of my excess fat there. This superficial appearance is both fleeting and personally irrelevent to my long term fitness and health goals; I'd rather work towards fat loss, toning, and improved core strength (all feasible, maintainable, and I believe better for my health).
I have mild UC, so my belly area tends to severe impromptu bloating anyways- even back when I was a bit younger, 30lbs lighter, and more active. I was once so hung up about maintaining a flat stomach that I'd fast in prep of major social functions (to avoid UC related triggers) and tried to avoid going out at all during my period (this is obviously not healthy or practical). Someone once convinced me a juice cleanse "detox" would help with all of this. It did not.
Maybe this falls into semantics, but working towards a flat stomach is not necessarily equatable to toning, body building, fat loss, or overall fitness health. Unfortunately, having toned or well defined abs and minimal body fat doesn't mean someone suddenly becomes immune to occasional bloating or make underlying conditions magically go away. I think it's important to suss this all out when someone's looking for advice to achieve this look, in part due to my prior unhealthy fixation. Pursuing unrealistic body goals is its own kind of wild rabbit hole.5 -
IronIsMyTherapy wrote: »In the last few days I've seen a girl in her 20s be told that wanting a flat belly is unrealistic and a guy be told that sub 10% bf was largely genetics.
When I started my journey, I was obese and from Day 1 I had a "unrealistic" goal physique. It took me over a decade but I achieved that goal and so have hundreds of thousands of other people so why call it unrealistic? It's only so if you believe it.
Instead of discouraging someone looking to achieve something remarkable, why not just say "go for it!"?
Thoughts?
When I think of unrealistic goals, I think of aesthetic ones, not performance ones.
Some folks are never going to have a thigh gap, bikini bridge, or toblerone tunnel (or whatever new “thinspiration” is out there now) unless they reach an unhealthy weight because their bodies are not built that way. To set that as the “goal” might be unrealistic. Not to mention detrimental to mental and physical health.
Awesome you achieved your goal—CONGRATS! 😃
Often when people set a goal of running a certain mileage, lifting a certain weight, or nailing that handstand, the strength that goes with that brings a positive body-image along with it.
What I encourage is health and wellness and performance-based goals. What we look like when we get there is gravy.
12 -
In my 55 years, my personal views on unrealistic vs impossible have evolved. When I was 15, my new hips and boobs made me feel fat. At 5’3” and 110lbs, I was definitely in the short and curvy department. I was filled with raging self-loathing. I covered my bedroom mirror with magazine models in bikinis and tried as hard as I could to make myself anorexic. The summer I was 16 I survived on nothing but black coffee and pickles — got down to 94lbs but for some crazy reason I didn’t look like those models...??!! Impossible to be 5’10” with slim hips when you’re just not built that way, but I just couldn’t see that! This continued through college and my weight bounced up and down between 100-150 and throughout that time I felt fat and hated myself. Weight kept going up as I got older, emotional overeating became a crutch for all of life’s stresses. Fast forward to middle age, after two babies...FINALLY somewhere in my mid-40s (after a million failed diets, many gym hours and personal trainers, and therapy), my brain and body stopped battling for that impossible goal. I’m still working on the emotional overeating part, but my self-image isn’t tangled up with my self-worth anymore. My goals are to be fit and strong as I age AND to look good in my clothes AND to continue losing weight (25lbs to go) and it feels so good to feel myself getting there, slowly but surely. At my age, I will never look great in a bikini and that’s ok. It’s realistic. But I will be the hottest old lady on the beach 😆11
-
Being Asian and having both parents under 5'5" (my mom was 4'11") I was pretty much consigned to the fact that I'd never be 6' tall. A lot of the guys I grew up with were always taller. So I did the only thing I could actually affect and that was looking more "buff". Lol, a lot of people call it "short man syndrome" when you're trying your best to outdo tall guys at other categories. Things like success, body improvement, driving some big *kitten* car or truck, etc. to get notoriety. Honestly, I started lifting after highschool because I was so skinny and after my best friend made me sit in his back car (he didn't want anyone to think he was dating an ugly girl) after getting a perm (dumbest mistake I made back in the 70's). I did look like a girl from behind. I never wanted to feel like that again, so I did what I could to put on muscle.TakeTheLongWayHome wrote: »This right here shows to me that the grass isn’t greener in someone else’s yard. I’m 5’9” and 157lbs. Since I have lost the weight, you would probably call me slender. 👈🏻Weird word right there. My point is that I have always wanted to be 6’3”-6’4” my whole life. Short guys like me asking how’s the weather up there. I guess we all just have to change what we can and deal with the rest
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
10 -
0somuchbetter0 wrote: »In my 55 years, my personal views on unrealistic vs impossible have evolved. When I was 15, my new hips and boobs made me feel fat. At 5’3” and 110lbs, I was definitely in the short and curvy department. I was filled with raging self-loathing. I covered my bedroom mirror with magazine models in bikinis and tried as hard as I could to make myself anorexic. The summer I was 16 I survived on nothing but black coffee and pickles — got down to 94lbs but for some crazy reason I didn’t look like those models...??!! Impossible to be 5’10” with slim hips when you’re just not built that way, but I just couldn’t see that! This continued through college and my weight bounced up and down between 100-150 and throughout that time I felt fat and hated myself. Weight kept going up as I got older, emotional overeating became a crutch for all of life’s stresses. Fast forward to middle age, after two babies...FINALLY somewhere in my mid-40s (after a million failed diets, many gym hours and personal trainers, and therapy), my brain and body stopped battling for that impossible goal. I’m still working on the emotional overeating part, but my self-image isn’t tangled up with my self-worth anymore. My goals are to be fit and strong as I age AND to look good in my clothes AND to continue losing weight (25lbs to go) and it feels so good to feel myself getting there, slowly but surely. At my age, I will never look great in a bikini and that’s ok. It’s realistic. But I will be the hottest old lady on the beach 😆
Your story sounds a lot like mine
. I so wish I had the knowledge about healthy eating and getting STRONGER (not necessarily "skinny") in my teens and early 20's. I actually want to be able to do something to teach young girls and women to feel this way about themselves so they don't have to go through all the self-loathing I did. 4 -
siberiantarragon wrote: »My weight issues have/had nothing to do with food addiction, that's why. And I'm sure that's the case for many obese people.
Well, if it wasn't caused by food addiction, then what was it caused by?
I'd also like to point out that a hallmark of addiction is denial. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case for you, I'm just saying it's a fact in general.Reminds me of a former coworker who was surprised to learn that I like vegetables, another one of those prejudiced notions about overweight/obese people.
I know plenty of overweight/obese people who like vegetables.
Not everyone who becomes obese has a "food addiction". I was just over the line of overweight into obese when I started back in 2012. I didn't have food issues or food addiction. I put on about 40-50 Lbs over the course of about 8 years. I graduated university when I was 30 and went from being a very active student that didn't own a car and walked or road my bike everywhere and worked landscape construction in the summers and in a liquor warehouse during the school year moving boxes of booze to being an accountant and sitting on my butt all day.
My appetite has always been pretty consistent with my activity level, so I was definitely eating less working my desk job....but still slightly more than I needed to maintain weight...like basically 5-6 Lbs per year.13 -
I just want my body pre 25 when it decided I couldn't eat as much as I wanted anymore without suffering the consequences. No celebrity body goals for me. I'm just aiming for 130 at 5 foot 3. I'm only 32. This should be no problem to me.
Sometimes it's hard but I think the key is to know sometimes you won't hit your target and that's OK. We are all only human. Just try again and we'll get there.3 -
I've always felt that striving for a stretch goal and possibly coming up a little short is better than self limiting to some mediocre, easily achievable goal. I know everyone is different but I personally don't limit myself by my age and I believe that I can get back very close to my profile picture from 6 years ago at age 55. I never had a six pack in my 20s and 30s but "accidentally" achieved that goal in my mid 40s. I had no reason to believe that I could achieve something in my 40s that I had failed to achieve in my 20s and 30s but I managed to achieve it anyway. I was never willing to accept that I was limited by age ... no reason to start now. Will I be successful ? I truly believe that I will. What if I come up a little short ? That's fine too, I'll be better off than where I started at the end of last year.
4 -
FitAgainBy55 wrote: »I've always felt that striving for a stretch goal and possibly coming up a little short is better than self limiting to some mediocre, easily achievable goal. I know everyone is different but I personally don't limit myself by my age and I believe that I can get back very close to my profile picture from 6 years ago at age 55. I never had a six pack in my 20s and 30s but "accidentally" achieved that goal in my mid 40s. I had no reason to believe that I could achieve something in my 40s that I had failed to achieve in my 20s and 30s but I managed to achieve it anyway. I was never willing to accept that I was limited by age ... no reason to start now. Will I be successful ? I truly believe that I will. What if I come up a little short ? That's fine too, I'll be better off than where I started at the end of last year.
In contrast I believe in striving for a closer goal that you feel relatively sure you can achieve and then reevaluating if you want to set a new goal. - I don't like falling short of my goals. It is one of the few things that truly can leave me deflated and too frustrated to easily pick myself up again. So, one step I know I can manage, then the thought "I did nanagd this as planned. Maybe I can go further".
In the end both our strategies may lead to achieving just as much. But yours would probably not work for me and vice versa.4 -
kshama2001 wrote: »lynn_glenmont wrote: »For some people, a flat belly is unrealistic because the belly is the last place they lose fat and to get the flatness they want they would have to drop to underweight body levels. Some women are already lean but have a small amount of natural belly pooch due to the uterus, and no amount or dieting will get rid of it, unless they want to become underweight. Most people can probably get a relatively flat stomach if they achieve a healthy weight.
And if you're carrying around the equivalent of a five-month fetus in fibroids, it's unrealistic to think you're going to have a flat belly, either.
But it's good to have a man explain to us that it's wrong to say that it's unrealistic. /s
Ha! I'm not the woman who wanted a flat belly, but I am carrying around the equivalent of a five-month fetus in fibroids, which I assume menopause will shrink greatly, but not completely, and just this week got rid of a bunch of short shirts. Even if I ever do manage to get back to the weight I was at that size again, I'll never again have the abdomen I had 20 years ago, and it would indeed be unrealistic to tell me otherwise.
Yep.
For a whole lot of women - 'how do I get a flat stomach' is the equivalent of 'how do I get bigger boobs'.
You get surgery.6 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »siberiantarragon wrote: »My weight issues have/had nothing to do with food addiction, that's why. And I'm sure that's the case for many obese people.
Well, if it wasn't caused by food addiction, then what was it caused by?
I'd also like to point out that a hallmark of addiction is denial. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case for you, I'm just saying it's a fact in general.Reminds me of a former coworker who was surprised to learn that I like vegetables, another one of those prejudiced notions about overweight/obese people.
I know plenty of overweight/obese people who like vegetables.
Not everyone who becomes obese has a "food addiction". I was just over the line of overweight into obese when I started back in 2012. I didn't have food issues or food addiction. I put on about 40-50 Lbs over the course of about 8 years. I graduated university when I was 30 and went from being a very active student that didn't own a car and walked or road my bike everywhere and worked landscape construction in the summers and in a liquor warehouse during the school year moving boxes of booze to being an accountant and sitting on my butt all day.
My appetite has always been pretty consistent with my activity level, so I was definitely eating less working my desk job....but still slightly more than I needed to maintain weight...like basically 5-6 Lbs per year.
Just playing devil's advocate, but if not a food addiction (and I don't believe in term in the literal, clinical sense) why did you keep eating when you noticed you pants didn't fit any more? The pleasure you got short term was perceived greater than any threat to your health or other factor?1 -
Theoldguy1 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »siberiantarragon wrote: »My weight issues have/had nothing to do with food addiction, that's why. And I'm sure that's the case for many obese people.
Well, if it wasn't caused by food addiction, then what was it caused by?
I'd also like to point out that a hallmark of addiction is denial. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case for you, I'm just saying it's a fact in general.Reminds me of a former coworker who was surprised to learn that I like vegetables, another one of those prejudiced notions about overweight/obese people.
I know plenty of overweight/obese people who like vegetables.
Not everyone who becomes obese has a "food addiction". I was just over the line of overweight into obese when I started back in 2012. I didn't have food issues or food addiction. I put on about 40-50 Lbs over the course of about 8 years. I graduated university when I was 30 and went from being a very active student that didn't own a car and walked or road my bike everywhere and worked landscape construction in the summers and in a liquor warehouse during the school year moving boxes of booze to being an accountant and sitting on my butt all day.
My appetite has always been pretty consistent with my activity level, so I was definitely eating less working my desk job....but still slightly more than I needed to maintain weight...like basically 5-6 Lbs per year.
Just playing devil's advocate, but if not a food addiction (and I don't believe in term in the literal, clinical sense) why did you keep eating when you noticed you pants didn't fit any more? The pleasure you got short term was perceived greater than any threat to your health or other factor?
Plenty of people choose to spend more money than they have, putting them at risk for financially bad consequences in the future. That doesn't mean they are addicted to spending. It just means that maybe they made some poor choices.7 -
richardgavel wrote: »Theoldguy1 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »siberiantarragon wrote: »My weight issues have/had nothing to do with food addiction, that's why. And I'm sure that's the case for many obese people.
Well, if it wasn't caused by food addiction, then what was it caused by?
I'd also like to point out that a hallmark of addiction is denial. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case for you, I'm just saying it's a fact in general.Reminds me of a former coworker who was surprised to learn that I like vegetables, another one of those prejudiced notions about overweight/obese people.
I know plenty of overweight/obese people who like vegetables.
Not everyone who becomes obese has a "food addiction". I was just over the line of overweight into obese when I started back in 2012. I didn't have food issues or food addiction. I put on about 40-50 Lbs over the course of about 8 years. I graduated university when I was 30 and went from being a very active student that didn't own a car and walked or road my bike everywhere and worked landscape construction in the summers and in a liquor warehouse during the school year moving boxes of booze to being an accountant and sitting on my butt all day.
My appetite has always been pretty consistent with my activity level, so I was definitely eating less working my desk job....but still slightly more than I needed to maintain weight...like basically 5-6 Lbs per year.
Just playing devil's advocate, but if not a food addiction (and I don't believe in term in the literal, clinical sense) why did you keep eating when you noticed you pants didn't fit any more? The pleasure you got short term was perceived greater than any threat to your health or other factor?
Plenty of people choose to spend more money than they have, putting them at risk for financially bad consequences in the future. That doesn't mean they are addicted to spending. It just means that maybe they made some poor choices.
So same as the situation I described above with food. The immediate pleasure outweighs to them the threat of future financial problems.3 -
The key here is: What is "realistic"? The truth is, asking advice from random people on the Internet is going to yield a whole spectrum of answers, from excellent to "oh dear Lord no".3
-
Theoldguy1 wrote: »richardgavel wrote: »Theoldguy1 wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »siberiantarragon wrote: »My weight issues have/had nothing to do with food addiction, that's why. And I'm sure that's the case for many obese people.
Well, if it wasn't caused by food addiction, then what was it caused by?
I'd also like to point out that a hallmark of addiction is denial. I'm not saying that's necessarily the case for you, I'm just saying it's a fact in general.Reminds me of a former coworker who was surprised to learn that I like vegetables, another one of those prejudiced notions about overweight/obese people.
I know plenty of overweight/obese people who like vegetables.
Not everyone who becomes obese has a "food addiction". I was just over the line of overweight into obese when I started back in 2012. I didn't have food issues or food addiction. I put on about 40-50 Lbs over the course of about 8 years. I graduated university when I was 30 and went from being a very active student that didn't own a car and walked or road my bike everywhere and worked landscape construction in the summers and in a liquor warehouse during the school year moving boxes of booze to being an accountant and sitting on my butt all day.
My appetite has always been pretty consistent with my activity level, so I was definitely eating less working my desk job....but still slightly more than I needed to maintain weight...like basically 5-6 Lbs per year.
Just playing devil's advocate, but if not a food addiction (and I don't believe in term in the literal, clinical sense) why did you keep eating when you noticed you pants didn't fit any more? The pleasure you got short term was perceived greater than any threat to your health or other factor?
Plenty of people choose to spend more money than they have, putting them at risk for financially bad consequences in the future. That doesn't mean they are addicted to spending. It just means that maybe they made some poor choices.
So same as the situation I described above with food. The immediate pleasure outweighs to them the threat of future financial problems.
That's true, but people could be making the decision (which might very well be on a subconscious level - it can take time and effort to become aware of one's decision making process for these things) for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with compulsion. Ignorance, peer pressure, and boring old "this is just the way I've always done it" probably have a lot more to do with it, and those things aren't addiction.
Lots of people engage in behaviors that aren't to their benefit without being addicts. Putting pleasure first isn't, by itself, addiction. Some people would simply call it human nature.9 -
Perfection can be the enemy of good. Perfection can be the enemy of good mental health.6
-
alisdairsmommy wrote: »
That's true, but people could be making the decision (which might very well be on a subconscious level - it can take time and effort to become aware of one's decision making process for these things) for a lot of reasons that have nothing to do with compulsion. Ignorance, peer pressure, and boring old "this is just the way I've always done it" probably have a lot more to do with it, and those things aren't addiction.
Lots of people engage in behaviors that aren't to their benefit without being addicts. Putting pleasure first isn't, by itself, addiction. Some people would simply call it human nature.
This.
How did I end up obese? A couple of things that are relevant here:
1-) Ignorance. I didn't DECIDE, consciously, to add a thousand calories of CONDIMENTS to my food a day. I knew what a calorie was (roughly) and that there were nutrition labels on the backs of food packages, but I did not understand how many calories I should be eating or what, even, was 'reasonable' to my eye re: Calorie count of various foods. There was no SCALE to measure it against. No element of "I could use a whole CUP Of unsweetened almond milk for less calories than that tablespoon of heavy cream!'. There was no "You know those couple of tablespoons of Peanut butter have as many calories as TWO of the apples you're smearing it on."
2-) Some weird emotional stuff due to food insecurity leading me to the impression that junk food was a limited opportunity thing and if I didn't get it and eat it NOW, I would never have again. Also elements of being able to hit the drive through being a signal of financial security.
At no point did I say "I like butter a lot. I know it's unhealthy but it tastes good so I'm going to put half of a stick in my green beans". I mean yeah, I like butter, but in order to make an informed decision one must be informed.
I do not believe a lot of people ARE.6
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.2K Introduce Yourself
- 43.4K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 387 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 895 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.2K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions