When people comment on your weight loss....
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I know some people want people to comment and others don't. I have just made it a point to never comment on people's weight unless they say something like "I've been trying to lose and lost ___lbs!" then I will be like "yeah I noticed you look amazing!". Other than that I won't comment.6
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Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »I know some people want people to comment and others don't. I have just made it a point to never comment on people's weight unless they say something like "I've been trying to lose and lost ___lbs!" then I will be like "yeah I noticed you look amazing!". Other than that I won't comment.
Yeah, but that leaves people like me feel uneasy. Like, now I have to feel like I am possibly an annoying brag and somehow insert a comment about my weight loss when I worry that nobody would want to hear about that.
Literally, apart from a forum like here or very close people, the only way I feel comfortable mentioning my success is if somebody else does first. I may hurt somebody who has problems losing weight, trigger somebody's eating disorder, come over as selfish...
But I like compliments, like my changes to be noticed, even if yeah, that is a bit self-crntered.
Darn, social interactions are hard!
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my male and female friends have different reactions to my weight loss. the ladies comment somewhere along the lines "lookin' good, congrats. been working out?" while my guy friends say something like "you're too thin, eat more"
i find it amusing and i dont mind at all2 -
When someone compliments me on my weight loss and then says "Keep it up" or something similar, what I hear is "You're not even close to where you should be." My sister who weighs 110 soaking wet, can compliment me all she wants and I know her heart is in the right place. I know she just wants me healthy and happy. It's very personal to me and I know I'm ultra-sensitive about comments about my weight.
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No problems for me, after all they are just confirming what I say to myself. I know I didn't look or feel good so they are just reinforcing that it needed to happen. When I look in the mirror I think great start but a ways to go, so them saying keep going doesn't bother me in the slightest. It motivates me. I'd much rather people say looking much better, keep it up than hearing my friends and family tell me I must lose weight for my own good.4
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To be brutally frank, , , in a world where nearly EVERYONE seems to be offended by nearly EVERYTHING that's said or done to them or even around them, it may be best (for a change) to proceed with a little grace no matter what folks say about your weight loss or appearance change. "Thanks", or "I'm glad you noticed" or "I'm eating healthier and being more active, I'm glad it shows!" are succinct replies that I try to use. Only when someone PERSISTS in being hyper-critical of my appearance or methods do I resort to a snappy come back, but those occasions are extremely rare.18
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I’m pretty young so I think people shy away on commenting on my body but I just get a lot of looks. Like if I haven’t seen someone for awhile I can see them STARING at my body because the last time they saw me I was a size 12 and now I’m a 0/2. The other day I went to friends house and her mom went slack jawed lmao6
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I don't mind comments...but I'm short (5'3' - maybe that's not short for a female but..) and I lost ~30lbs. So obviously I look different. I lost a noticeable amount of weight by the spring - and a few employees where I work noticed. Then I continued to lose so by the time we got back to work in August --- EVERYONE noticed. It was kind of nice to get comments but it still made me feel self-conscious a bit. Like many (older-ish women) made comments like, "Don't lose any more weight" and stuff like that, even though they don't know how much I weigh, etc.
I had a woman who I only know by seeing her in the building (like I don't know her name or talk to her on a regular basis) say to me, "Hey, you've lost a lot of weight haven't you?" -- to which I usually sheepishly say, "Oh, yeah I started running again" --- to which SHE said, "Are you sick?" --- and I'm not gonna lie, that really bothered me. Because when I was overweight I struggled with thinking that I felt like I looked OK vs. thinking what OTHER people thought I looked like (normal, chubby, fat...etc.) and now that I've lost weight and am fairly happy with how I look (more importantly I'm happy with how I feel)...it still can make me feel like maybe to other people I don't look good, I look sick. I don't think I look sick and have actually said to a co-worker, "I promise if you saw me in a bathing suit I look normal, not sick" -- which is crazy that I felt like I had to say that.
Comments like "Oh you're the disappearing girl" or some such similar thing - I know are meant well but it can mess with your head a bit. So I wish people would be more aware of what they're saying sometimes.5 -
ginamyrmel wrote: »When someone compliments me on my weight loss and then says "Keep it up" or something similar, what I hear is "You're not even close to where you should be." My sister who weighs 110 soaking wet, can compliment me all she wants and I know her heart is in the right place. I know she just wants me healthy and happy. It's very personal to me and I know I'm ultra-sensitive about comments about my weight.
That wouldn’t have occurred to me about “keep it up.” To me, keep it up comes from a place of knowing how hard it is to maintain lifestyle changes and that to keep the weight off, you need to keep up your new way of eating and living for a lifetime.
Regardless, it’s a good reminder that different people hear things in different ways!5 -
goal06082021 wrote: »Don't comment on someone's body unless you know for an incontrovertible fact that they are purposefully trying to change it in some way (i.e., this person has chosen to tell you that they're trying to lose/gain weight). If you merely suspect that they are doing this (like, you've seen them using an app like MFP, exercising, or if they appear visibly larger or smaller than last time you saw them) but they've never directly told you, specifically, about it, assume this is not something they want to share with you, for any number of reasons. Unless they tell you, you can't know if it's something they would appreciate commentary on, either in general or from you, specifically. And maybe you'll feel some type of way about that, if it's a person that you think "should" like/trust you enough to share this kind of thing with you, but those feelings are yours to manage.
This sums up my position pretty well.
I am a pretty private person, so it's jarring to me when people out of the blue offer input into my personal life, even when it's complimentary. I do try to take things in stride and I believe most people mean well even if things are put awkwardly, but generally, I'm only going to share personal information with people I'm very close to (or places like here where I go to learn and for support.) The fact that this change is a visible one and other changes are less obvious doesn't make it an opportunity for anybody to comment. I don't live my life *at* other people for their approval or disapproval.
It is kind of amazing the specific level of detail people ask about personal lives, though. The subjects aren't limited to weight loss. I've had very kind, thoughtful people ask me all sorts of very intrusive questions that come from nowhere. Is it just that we've all put everything out on social media and so are used to oversharing and overknowing about our neighbors?3 -
I have loss 3 kg in a week1
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goal06082021 wrote: »I'm barely 10lbs down but someone noticed today. ^_^ I think it might be down to the better-fitting bras I've started wearing, tbh, rather than a 10lb difference actually being visible on my frame, but I'll take it!
Really?0
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