OK, let's talk

I have to bump this anyway - my apologies if this a repeat suggestion, Mike - alot to get through to find out.

Alot of forums I've moderated on, owned, originated had monthly reminders of the rules. They worked best if they were brief, but there were auto-generated reminders on x-day of every month to every participant. I don't know if technically, that's an option for you - perhaps look at google group and yahoo groups for ideas?

And maybe, have a section of 21+ groups; as some people do like to get a little more 'vulger' with their language and insinuations - but all in fun. This way, there's less risk of "accidental encounters" by those that might not want it. From there, sub-groups could be created. Let's say there was going to be a group that chose to do Frisky Friday (I'm making things up) where they wanted to post maybe some racey photos - yet still within the confines of progress - something like that would go in the 21+ or "Adult" venue and the group would actually BE "Frisky Friday Friends" or what have you?

I think your initiation of this post will help move things along nicely and if there's already all the primary groups set up, would it be difficult to go ahead and just add an "adults only" forum until the sub-group idea can actually be implemented? I think that would REALLY help in keeping some of the silliness down and keep like-minded folks in places where each subset is most comfortable.

Just some thoughts. I've generally stopped posting in the forums for all the same reasons you've mentioned. I believe adults should have the freedom to RESPECTFULLY state their thoughts and opinions and others should have the right to RESPECTFULLY disagree and that should be allowed (IMHO) - but when topics hit emotional nerves, that can be difficult so.. I've been avoiding it and have gotten to the point of having only a handful of folks on my friends list and only just barely touch base these days. I miss alot of people but some of the meanness just got to be too much to even bother; and that has to do with emotional reactions.

Mike-
Like everyone else, thank you for this site!
I really appreciate this thread and the opportunity for everyone to discuss the issues.

I think groups are a great idea but until then maybe we can add sub-topics under the chit-chat section like sex, religion, gay/lesbian, etc. This way the more controversial subjects would be out of the main forum and members would have a better idea of what type of thread they are clicking on. If a thread is posted in the main forum and a mod feels it is inappropriate it can be moved into a more specific sub-topic.

Then if a member does not want to read about sexual or religious threads they don't have to click on that topic. If they do and are offended by the subject matter...too bad!

And there you were just trying to help people get healthy. Thank you Mike.

This site has been my strength, no longer on meds for diabeties, Still obese but oh so close to having a "I'm overweight Party." Until today I was not aware of any problems on the site/forums. I must be lucky with the friends/support I have on this site.
Have not read all the replys,whoa way too many, and maybe mine may not be read, but it is good for the soul to express my gratitude to you for having developed this site.
The few replys I have read I agree with, eg. if you can't say anything nice say nothing at all. And if we could all just respect each other. Probably the ones I don't agree with I just ignore and move on. As in life.

I am here to get healthy and to offer my friendship and support to others on the same journey.

I think the groups with self-moderators are good idea. I don't get too easily offended... and I think it is sad that people cannot have open discussions on any topic.

You could also offer separate 'chit chat' forums with 'ratings' such as PG-17, G, etc. This way the parents that are in the living room with their kids are responsible for selecting a G rated forum.

Seriously I dont understand why if you ee a post that says bikin pics and you have a kid in the room you would still go into the thread if you have an issue with your kids seeing someone in a bikini
Thank you for trying to improve things I look forward to groups

I think things have gotten out of hand the last few weeks but by both sides of the "sex chat" isle. I am a firm believer that if you don't like something, you have the freedom to not partake. I think complaing about others partaking in sexual conversations but seeking them out is like saying you hate alcohol but show up at a bar and complain that beer is being served

^^^I agree with all of that.

Thanks so much for the site, Mike, and for doing your best to moderate. This place has become very important to me over the last 7 months or so. I love how it has helped me and all of the great people in my friends list. However, I think you and your mods have taken a very heavy hand in censoring things as of late. In your efforts to keep the site from changing, it is changing drastically in a different direction. I've lost great supportive and successful friends. People who meant a lot to me in my journey here. The fact of the matter is that we are all supposed to be adults here. Yes, sometimes adults are flirty and vulgar, but as long as that is kept in the chit-chat forum I don't see how anyone should be complaining about it. We have a choice to click or not click on a topic. We even have a choice to avoid the forums all together. No one is being forced to read offensive material. I think some people miss their days as high school hall monitor and want the other "kids" to stop having fun. As long as no one is being personally harassed abused, or stalked I think things should just be left alone. If someone does something that truly deserves moderating, warn them and delete that particular post. Unless the entire thread is just a train-wreck of truly offensive material, there is no need to delete the entire thread. You had said something earlier about how you want to make this a place where everyone can be comfortable all of the time. Well, it's just not possible to please everyone. Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet. It's a rough place, people. Put on your helmet and buckle up or turn off your computer and go watch Jay Leno.

I completely disagree! DON'T watch Jay Leno ;P

Just wanted to say a huge, big, massive thank you to yourself and all the moderators :drinker:
This site is awesome and friendly and best of all I've lost 32kg (71lbs) since starting here, which I did originally from curiosity.
I know some people just have to spoil other peoples fun and that is their choice, karma will bite them eventually.

Keep doing what your doing Mike because we appreciate it so much and truly enjoy being here :flowerforyou:

Thank you so much for this wonderful site & your communication on these issues!

I agree completely, too much flirting, inuendos and sexual talk has its place but not here, take it to private emails but somehow the people that promote that type of conversation don't seem to want it to be private, rather they seem to want everyone to read it, why?

** applause **

Mike and all, THANK YOU for the site and taking some control back.

MFP was starting to become a social experiment, with some grade school humor and antics, and I can't be happier to see you taking back some control. I know it is tough, and you'll have all kinds of tugs and pulls, but stay your course my friend. It was your vision that created this awesome site, and it will take that leadership to keep it awesome. GREAT JOB!!!