WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2021

dlfk202000 wrote: »

Machka9 wrote: »

kevrit wrote: »

Machka9 wrote: »

Lisa in AR


He talks a lot - that's a frontal lobe damage thing: lots of rather uninhibited quite negative talk. I have to rein him in sometimes when we're out in public. And if he talks about specific people, they usually end up dead by the end of the story. "I knew someone who owned a house here, blah, blah, blah ... but he's dead now."

It gets so negative sometimes, I just listen with one ear in case I have to say, "uh-huh" occasionally.

But knowing where the conversation will go, I can't bring up anything in the news to discuss over dinner and even things that happen at work are often not "safe" topics as he'll go off on a rant and start accusing various people I work with of things like drug use etc. So I keep my day and my thoughts to myself most of the time.

M in Oz

That is exactly what I do to my DH. You are describing him to a T! He must be suffering from the same type of brain injury your DH has!

Another day with 8/9 year olds. I feel bad for these kids. They all have very bad family lives.

RvRita in Roswell NM

Boxing is notorious for brain injury. It's a horrible "sport".

Frontal lobe damage can happen quite easily, it's a common area to damage, and it doesn't take much to cause quite a bit of damage.

In my husband's case, he has a small area of damage in his frontal lobe, and a large area of damage in his left temporal lobe, plus a diffuse axonal injury which are "dots" of damage scattered everywhere. All those areas are damaged enough that they are "dead" and show up on MRIs as scar tissue.

So the uninhibited, negative talking is one of his many symptoms.

auntiebk wrote: »

Machka how could the possum get into Rhody’s catio? Can you secure it? What a distressing aspect of TBI, having to cope with negative talk and limit your topics of conversation. Do you have anyone else you can talk to without having to pre-edit?

Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD

Right now, the door is just tied shut when Rhody is in there. We'll try to get a latch or something to make it more secure. I put Rhody on his leash last night and Inspector Rhody did an investigation of where the intruder got into our property and where it went. There was much sniffing. He's like a bloodhound!

I've been coping with the negative talk and limiting my topics of conversation now for about 3.5 years. I discovered this was going to be an issue early on after his accident.

I don't really have anyone else to talk to. Most of the time that doesn't bother me - I've always kept to myself. But sometimes, I'd like to sit down and have a good discussion with someone. It would be nice to have a decision making talk with someone at times - one of those talks where you weigh up the pros and cons of something with the other person helping you brainstorm and providing ideas you hadn't thought of ....

But the cycling events we organise are good for him because he'll talk to the cyclists about their bicycles and things cycling-related for a while, and that's positive ... as long as he doesn't get too tired.

And I can usually talk about gardening with him, and take him to garden centres and things. Even building our footpath had him talking about building our footpath which was also positive.

When we do anything bee related, he'll talk about bees and bee-related things. So that's good too.

So I'm learning what works.

M in Oz

Wouldn't it be nice to just have a conversation without thinking three thoughts ahead- If I say this, then they will get up set about it, If I say this......
It is totally and completely exhausting.

KetoneKaren wrote: »

Pip, such a great photo of your children. when was it taken?

Karen in Virginia

auntiebk wrote: »

Accountability:

Chose well: BP, T’ai Chi, dogs to powerline, fire district board meeting.
Bonus: land line and best practices grant research, an hour grooming Tumble.
Just one thing:
Do good December
8: Do something helpful for a friend or family member:

Heather, Julie, Betsy, we’ve been lucky, quakes not felt, no damage. I’ve lived in quake country all my life, but being on our fire district board has made me more aware of the down-the-road impacts. If you think we’re isolated now… ;}
Annie two vaccinations in one day might not be a good idea. Hope you space the flu shot out a few weeks.
Allie I’ve also used “bless your heart” as a blessing. It’s ok. You’re a Yankee and I’m a prune-picker. The other meaning is a Southern thing.
Lisa and I’m happy for you both.
Pip, looked like Yogi got his foot mixed up in the leash?
the pic of Yogi on the bed and Kirby giving him a smooch. Beautiful architecture and lights.
Vicki hard to speak truth to power tactfully. Hope the damage control wasn’t too painful.
Katla hope you have help getting that spruce into the house then up onto the table. Sounds too heavy to me!
Heather is Zicam available to you? Really helps me avoid the worst of colds. Take care!
Debbie you’re right. Walking on eggshells in conversations is totally and completely exhausting.
Michele brava for setting your boundaries at the airport. Well done!
Rebecca the blue ornament box, especially the little sheep, antique angel faces and quilt, but that snow scene made me shiver. Remembrance of our first Thanksgiving in Idaho. [brr]
Machka Brava for signing up for that 10K run. “…I just stop talking…” is a skill I could use!

Noticed, and commented with my friends, how the lights along the highway lift ones spirits. Think I’ll ask Joe if there is power down the drive. Seeing lights out the office window at night would be good for my soul.

Lighter, lovelies!

Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2021: choose to be leaner/stronger/kinder NOW