WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2022
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Just checking in. Made it through today and was glad to have Jason and Launa and grandgirls here. They leave tomorrow and it will be good for me to have my quiet space again. I slept some last night and that helped today. Thank you all for your support.
Betsy13 -
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dlfk202000 wrote: »Remember I told you I got a new garage door? Well, it's been opening and closing all on its own. Yesterday when I went outside first thing in the morning, it was open. I know Vince closed it the night before. Evidently, he added something so that he can open my door from any of his vehicles. Maybe that's interfering????
When I ride the exercise bike, I usually watch TV. I had been watching old shows of "Beverly Hillbillies". I haven't ridden the bike in about a month, maybe more. When I went to watch it today, I couldn't get it to work. The TV worked, but I couldn't get it to play "BH". So I called Vince. He logged back into Amazon. Seems they've changed things again and now I can't access that show. So I watched old episodes of "I Love Lucy". Really, that's not as good. I'll just have to see about another show.
Michele NC
who is going to take a shower and then work on the puzzle.
that is better than what my husband was watching this morning. I was watching church online in the living room where my desktop is. He was in the kitchen. Offered to do the dishes for me which I appreciated(needed the sink empty to bathe the old momma cat). He has to have a tv on where ever he is. He put on The Flinstones then The Jetson's. I had to turn my computer up just so I could hear the service. Was glad when he was done with the dishes and turned it off.
Headphones are great!
Mind you, I would have said, "please turn the volume down, I can't hear what I'm listening to. "1 -
Just checking in. Made it through today and was glad to have Jason and Launa and grandgirls here. They leave tomorrow and it will be good for me to have my quiet space again. I slept some last night and that helped today. Thank you all for your support.
Betsy
I'm glad you've got support there too.0 -
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Good morning all. Happy Monday.
Betsy- Sending love. Happy you have had family with you; yet also glad you will have some time alone to soothe your brain and heart/grieve the way you see fit.
My latest health tidbit (perhaps tmi) in spoiler:Well, it seems that lifting heavy things can cause hemorrhoids; who knew?! I am guessing the moving of 300 lbs of sand into and out of my kitchen this Friday and Saturday, did me in. I have one hemorrhoid. My first one. (Do I throw it a party?) Anyway, from what I have read, it will go away on its own.
I suppose, if that is my worst health issue, with my weight the way it is, I should count myself lucky.
One more week until I am on vacation. Not going anywhere; so it is a staycation. The weather doesn't look promising for yard work or for outdoor projects, but that could change in a week. Snow over the weekend. I am SO tired of the snow. Blah.
HUgs to all who need one! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)5 -
Oh what a pain, KJ!
Our weather is set to change too this week. Our glorious spring is going to turn back to winter. I don't think it is going to be too bad here in the south, but chilly nights and rain/sleet are in order. Boo!
I went for a run this morning, in anticipation of not being able to do so for a while. Beautiful.
I was writing my book this morning, when I came across an old poem. It reminded me of a distressing episode from my past. I wrote about it with a few tears. Feeling better now. The strange thing is, I had forgotten about it until I read the poem. How, I don't know.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx4 -
Kelly - commiserations on the birth of your first hemi! Having dealt with horrible ones for the last two years, my advice is to do as little as you possibly can to it, and go about your life. The over-the-counter stuff helped me for a few hours, but then the rebound when it wore off hurt even more. If you can refrain from picking things up over 10 pounds, it will help. Other than that, it just takes time.
Betsy - Many good thoughts are headed your way.
Loud laundry in progress (jeans and one of Corey's coats). There are worse things.
In a contemplative mood today. Still need to finish cleaning my office up, but I'm close. I'm such a procrastinator these days!
Thanks for the comments on the travois. In the end, I had to remember that when Corey and I work on a new project, this always happens. I conceptualize and design it, and he redesigns it to make it work in the real world, and most of the time we build the redesigned things together. It's a thing. Together we've built bed frames with built-in nightstands, a massive hall tree, my desk, and on and on.
No real plans for today except to work in my office and get it sorted out. Oh - and laundry. The dryer's buzzing...
Later y'all,
Love,
Lisa in Arkansas
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Accountability:Chose well: Joe, 19 mins wii balance games, readings, BP, CI<CO,
Bonus: in person church, fellowship follow up call, veg prep
Just one thing: back to bupkes.
Workin’ on it: 140.7, H20x5, active :
Mindful March
27: Cultivate a feeling of loving-kindness toward others today.
28: Notice when you’re tired and take a break as soon as possible.
Took last of antibiotics, yay! Swelling and discoloration persist, having doubts about dx. Need to get up off my butt and get those legs up the wall.
Lisa thanks for the pics and serious points to you for your restraint :devil:
Katla thanks for the recipe and your recommendation of the stick-on-window kind of hummingbird feeders. Joe put one up on the window of his man cave where Tumble can see from his lap. The window in my office is too high for easy maintenance, so he mounted the feeder on a stick and attached to path railing where I could see it from my desk. Will stir up a batch of nectar today. Many thanks! So glad your DD is taking steps to get you both some help. Fingers Xd.
Debbie will think of your dad when I mix up the batch today. Loved the Jetsons, still waiting for my air car…
Rebecca thanks for the Athena fix and “Jeez” indeed.
Michele Joe loves the Beverly Hillbillies and I can tolerate it much better than the scary moves he also enjoys.
Barbie, thanks for the “landscaping service=mole catcher” suggestion.
Betsy ((hugs)) What KJ, Karen, Lisa and others have said. How long had you and Jack been together? ((hugs))
KJ when I got my first one of those, the MD told me to eat an entire head of lettuce every day. Never could quite swallow that much.
Heather
Johnny’s smile, with or without the artistic enhancements.
Managed to walk the dogs around the parking area yesterday as its fairly level if uneven ground. Still afraid to walk downslope to the power line.
Reading: Have piles and piles and even shelves of books I “should” or at some time wanted to read. Yesterday I got out the first of a cozy, screwball mystery series by a favorite author, Charlotte MacLeod/Alisa Craig. Thoroughly enjoyed re-reading it. Woke this morning refreshed. Maybe I can move a few of those “should”s to the donation pile while I continue to enjoy the series.
Later, Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2022: Be still and listen.
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Good morning Gals,
Lisa,Appreciate you saying you were glad I checked in. I think I need to use here for venting and laying out my feelings. The feedback helps and it's a safe place to throw out what's making my head and heart messed up.
I am sorry because I feel like I'm a runaway train with negative thoughts and I just need to dump some thoughts. I didn't sleep much last night but made myself stay in bed until 5am. About now all I feel in control of is my schedule. I'm making myself eat and go to bed and get up on time. I'm a water drinker so that comes naturally.
Jack's oldest son, who lives across the country texted last night after I'd gone to bed. He wanted to call and I texted back I was tired and in bed and it would be convenient to call anytime today. He texted back that he loved me so much and wanted to keep in touch but I could tell he was miffed about having to wait til today to call. This is the son that quit answering our phone messages, text messages, returned our letters marked "refused, return to sender" ... for over two years. He never told us why he cut us out of our lives. Just this last month both Jack and I texted him, telling we loved him and missed him in our lives. When Jack died on Friday, I texted his three children and my two. All got back to me right away and then Mark texted last night. I was so bothered by getting his text last night because Jack would have given his eye teeth to get that text from the son he raised. I felt guilty because I didn't get up and tell him to call last night. All night I felt haunted. Dang. I hope I'm gracious today when (if) he calls. I love him but I am angry for the pain and anguish he caused us. Now to get in touch with me seems so empty because Jack doesn't have the pleasure of his son reconnecting.
I'm all conflicted. Having Jason and family here was hard but they were so loving and we all were hurting and missing Jack. But I don't want Mark here. He's always been negative and needy and critical of Jack and I. I'm not ready to deal with him. I need to be kind and also firm when he calls. I don't want him here now. My friend is coming over to be with me and we'll put the speaker phone on and she will take over the call if it is too stressful for me. She is a tough cookie and she and her husband have been an amazing support.
Barbie, Appreciate this forum. I think I should maybe put my thoughts in a spoiler next time so people can avoid my negativity.. It's not my nature but it's where I am right now. I feel lost.
Betsy in NW WA
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Betsy, Lots of us have used this thread for grieving, venting, processing, etc. There are broad shoulders here, and life experience. It's remarkable. The women here are a gift, no strings attached.
Karen in Virginia
p.s. Good idea to have the phone on speaker with your friend there when Jack's oldest son calls.2 -
OH D*** Betsy, I feel terrible for you having to deal with Mark. I can totally understand your anger. Really. I'm angry for you. I have so many words I'd like to say right now, but you don't need to hear that. DON'T ALLOW him to come if you don't want him there and make sure you have support in that. I'm glad you have your friend who will take over.
PLEASE don't put it in a spoiler because this is why we're here. We ARE a support group for whatever is going on in all of our lives. What Karen said, "no strings". We're here for you.
Carla, in MN2 -
Betsy, dear heart, you're not being negative, you're being honest.
Maybe my story about the gathering after Mama's funeral at her little house will help. It's kinda long, but then, my stories usually are:
By the time the funeral was done and we were back to Mama's little bitty house, I was just awash with tears, and had been for the last two days. Just no sleep, no food, little water, and feeling so bereft that there simply were no words left. Mama did not want to be embalmed, and by Texas law, that meant she had to be buried within 24 hours, so my brothers and sisters and I were just exhausted. At that point I just tried to make sure everyone had something to drink or eat and wandered through the crowd of people.If you read that, I know that was long and involved, but most of it was to let you know, Betsy, that you had every right to tell that boy to call the next day. If his words start hurting you on that phone call, you have the right to hang up, or hand it to your friend and walk away. I'm glad your friend is there. Lean on the strength of others, and know that your strength isn't gone, it just took a hard blow with Jack's death. You'll get it back, Betsy, I promise you.
Everyone turned when John Jacob came in the front door. He was the black sheep of the family, which may have been part of why Mama loved him so much. He was my brother's stepson, but Mama never cared about that. He was part of her family, and she always treated him as such. His contribution to the gathering was a six-pack of beer, and I hugged him as he walked by me to put the beer in the refrigerator.
About 15 or 20 minutes later, I went back to Mama's bedroom to just get a few moments of peace without people rattling at me, and as I walked up to her bedroom door, which was slightly ajar, I heard one of my sisters-in-law say, "Can you beLIEVE he brought beer to his own grandmother's funeral?" Someone else said "Amen!" and I opened the door.
Three of my mother's daughters-in-law were in her bedroom whispering their poison to each other. In her room. Saying I lost my temper is such a mild phrase. I started out with "How DARE you dishonor my mother's memory like this. She loved that boy!" and then started turning the air blue with cuss words. At the top of my lungs. By the time I was done, the entire house was silent... I genuinely don't lose my temper much, but that was an exception.
Honestly, Mama would have thought the six-pack was funny. The story is one of those that go down in family lore, and usually comes up within a few moments of seeing me. Probably because some years later, John Jacob committed a truly heinous murder, and bolted for Mexico. They caught him at the border, brought him back and he's still in prison. Will be forever, I'm thinking.
Thinking of you,
Love,
Lisa in AR6 -
Betsy - No apologies needed for venting to this group. You need to take care of you first.
In a past life I worked for a newspaper in the IT department, and the receptionist/switchboard gal reported to me. She shared a desk with a representative who did all the obituaries. You could always tell when someone like Mark came in we always believed they were feeling guilty about the way they handled their relationship with the deceased - they would cause a scene - loud crying, wanted the entire lobby to hear the stories - would want a long flowery obituary and would rave about what a good (mom/dad/sister/brother) the person was and often one of the few relatives mentioned by full name was the person in the office.
The Mark's of the world will not help you find the peace and quiet you are looking for. Good for you to have someone to help keep him in his lane.
Hugs,
Kim in N. California4 -
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Betsy- You don't have to be gracious. Just polite. Don't waste a minute of your life worrying about him. He will have to make his peace with his father's memory on his own. He is not your responsibility.
I am glad you have a friend to help you.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx2
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