WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2022

We are moored!
DH and I went to the gym this morning. He is in fine fettle. Sea flat.
We are visiting a small volcanic island just to the south of Iceland. Can't dock, so we have to get into the tender boat. For the step test we just had to prove we could step across a certain distance they had marked with tape. Our excursion has been changed to the afternoon so we have ordered early lunch in our room from our butler.
We will be taking a guided walk around the small harbour town and seeing the new lava fields from 1973. Plus the museum. Right now it's raining, but I think it's a shower.
DH soon forgets about his bad days. The weather was rather bad for this time of year. 'High' is a grade above 'Rough'. Hoping for a better journey home, further west. We are going round Iceland clockwise. 🇮🇸

This map shows the original itinerary, but we are doing it in reverse order.....we left from Portsmouth, not Dover, so went to the east of Britain instead.

Much love, Heather xxxxxxxx

Hello all! It’ll take some time to read through but I will!! I’m Leslie, 57 and happily married to John my hubby of 33 years in September. We are retired and live in northwest Arkansas atop a large hill in the foothills of the Boston Mountains.

My parents (80) recently moved in with us along with my only sibling who has learning disabilities. It’s not easy I can tell you but we’ll make it work until we can get them into their own place. (Likely a year +) I have three kiddos 25, 27 and 29. All but one live near / with. The oldest is still in Texas where we lived most of our adult lives.

Have a dog, two cats (one indoor one out) and my happy place is sitting out on our covered porch watching all the nature that passes through!

Would love more friends so feel free to add! I’m online in the mornings and evenings steadily and intermittently throughout the day.

Lisa- that stinks about your daughter here is hoping all of it works out...
Pip- Happiest of Anniversaries to you and Kirby ...you both are just the cutest...
I got a text from my don that he was at Disneyland before 9 am and was having a blast.. today is Vidcon .. so he will be at the Anaheim coliseum for that and meet the girls he went out to meet..

Annie - no advice for what you're dealing with, as anyone with a lick of sense knows I'm not fit to be a caretaker. Just so pleased to see your progress, and so impressed with your ability to stick to it.

Pip - Happy 20th to you and Kirby!

Heather - I thought the outfit was just wonderful and so pleased the seas have calmed for you and Johnny.

Ginny - Hope the test results are good.

Flea - Many good thoughts whooshing your way, as Barbara says.

Kay - Same for you, my dear. Thinking of you.

Tracey - Everyone looks like they're having tons of fun.

Barbara - Well done for Joe not bringing the junk food home! On the weight loss thing, Corey did exactly what I thought he would. He swapped to light beer and lost 12 pounds. It's so unfair. Of course, he works a very physical job, and with temperatures wandering around the 100 mark for a couple of weeks, he's probably sweated off most of it.

Allie - Hope all turns out well, and that Dan meets the girl of his dreams while he's in California.

I know that wasn't everyone I wanted to reply to, but I need to snag the dark clothes out of the dryer, and grab the whites in the washer and take them out to the clothesline. The sun's just coming over the trees now.

Love y'all,
Lisa in AR River Valley

ETA: Just got off the phone with Kels, and she's so sick. Love that girl, and wish I could fly to San Antonio, but couldn't see her if I did. Friends have brought her some over-the-counter meds to help her feel better, and had food delivered to her--because the ever-sympathetic Army gave her nothing to help ameliorate her symptoms, just a box of MREs and told her to stay in the room for five days starting today. For the uninitiated, MREs are "meals ready to eat," once known as C-rations, and they're really pretty awful on the whole.

Debbie- - In 2017 I invited my MIL to move in with us. We were in Tennessee at the time. I was still working and hubby was retired. It worked out for us. My husband has always been the ‘stay at home’ Dad / cook / cleaner while my kids were young and I have been the corporate bread winner. We agreed she could no longer live alone at 82. She and I got along ‘ok’ but I wasn’t home and didn’t have to really put up with her. Fast forward to a year and a half ago and things changed. We live in Arkansas, hubby is remodeling homes and I was her caretaker as I had retired. Caretaking is certainly not for everyone. I did my level best but as her non tremor Parkinson’s started getting worse it became even more of a challenge. She would sometimes ‘freeze’ and not be able to move. This would mean she would end up on the ground. I have a weak core and had a Devil of a time getting her back up. She finally agreed to start using a walker and on weaker days a wheelchair. I called a service in to have her evaluated (paid through Humana) and they came in weekly to give her exercises. It got to be too much and my hubby (nice big strong guy!) had to stay home more and more because only he could lift her. We were going to hire in to have more of a caretaker to get John back to work and me to being able to leave the house. They told us if she sits or falls on the ground they are not allowed to pick her up due to a risk of injury and they would have to call 911. We made the decision to place her in an assisted living facility close to us and even procured a room but we all caught Covid. Covid with her Parkinson’s idid her in. We’d gone two years without it ever getting her. We were all so careful. It was sad. This was only this year February. She was used to living alone, always having her own way and would only eat certain things. She wasn’t happy because of her lack of mobility and looking back on it all, I wish we would have sought assisted living sooner so that more of her needs would have been met. I did it all, some bathroom cleanup, sick, shower assists, cook (She was a little thing 99 pounds 4’ 10 but she constantly ate and snacked! Never gained a pound!) She had insurance for long term care but she had always vehemently dismissed the idea. I wish my hubby had taken a firmer stance back then.

I know that’s a lot to read but my hope is that you can work to get her care outside of you and your home because it wears a great deal on the caretaker and you lose your ability to live your own life. I did it for a year and a half and for the last year she should have been in professional care.

Tracey I go to a functional medicine doctor. They do tests and treat differently than conventional medical professionals. They primarily deal with the root cause of an issue rather than just treating the symptoms. I really like this method. It has gotten rid of my diabetes and liver issues.

RvRita

LeslieAWagner wrote: »

Debbie- - In 2017 I invited my MIL to move in with us. We were in Tennessee at the time. I was still working and hubby was retired. It worked out for us. My husband has always been the ‘stay at home’ Dad / cook / cleaner while my kids were young and I have been the corporate bread winner. We agreed she could no longer live alone at 82. She and I got along ‘ok’ but I wasn’t home and didn’t have to really put up with her. Fast forward to a year and a half ago and things changed. We live in Arkansas, hubby is remodeling homes and I was her caretaker as I had retired. Caretaking is certainly not for everyone. I did my level best but as her non tremor Parkinson’s started getting worse it became even more of a challenge. She would sometimes ‘freeze’ and not be able to move. This would mean she would end up on the ground. I have a weak core and had a Devil of a time getting her back up. She finally agreed to start using a walker and on weaker days a wheelchair. I called a service in to have her evaluated (paid through Humana) and they came in weekly to give her exercises. It got to be too much and my hubby (nice big strong guy!) had to stay home more and more because only he could lift her. We were going to hire in to have more of a caretaker to get John back to work and me to being able to leave the house. They told us if she sits or falls on the ground they are not allowed to pick her up due to a risk of injury and they would have to call 911. We made the decision to place her in an assisted living facility close to us and even procured a room but we all caught Covid. Covid with her Parkinson’s idid her in. We’d gone two years without it ever getting her. We were all so careful. It was sad. This was only this year February. She was used to living alone, always having her own way and would only eat certain things. She wasn’t happy because of her lack of mobility and looking back on it all, I wish we would have sought assisted living sooner so that more of her needs would have been met. I did it all, some bathroom cleanup, sick, shower assists, cook (She was a little thing 99 pounds 4’ 10 but she constantly ate and snacked! Never gained a pound!) She had insurance for long term care but she had always vehemently dismissed the idea. I wish my hubby had taken a firmer stance back then.

I know that’s a lot to read but my hope is that you can work to get her care outside of you and your home because it wears a great deal on the caretaker and you lose your ability to live your own life. I did it for a year and a half and for the last year she should have been in professional care.

thanks for posting- a little back story- MIL doesn't like my husband(her only surviving son-her favorite died 10 yrs ago in a car accident-the next day, looked dh straight in the face and said "Wrong son died, huhh) and she really doesn't like me, even after 33 yrs. She is a very mean/bitter/angry/self centered person that I did my best to stay totally away from as much as possible over the years. Our son doesn't go over to see her much because of how she is and even more so now beings she said his girlfriend, who is nothing but sweet and polite, is not allowed in her house. I was told the same thing when he and I were dating- she has made things really rough- she even took him out of her will because he did marry me when she didn't want him to.
She has no friends because of how she is.
She is 87
She fell two weeks ago and fractured bones in her wrist and hand, a couple days later fell again- hit her head and also her ribs-broke three ribs. Took her in and also found a bad UTI. The UTI is causing a lot of hallucinations/bad dreams/etc.
My dh is still working, as am I plus being with her. There is no way in **** she will ever live with us. I would leave first. I am ready to put her in a home now.
She has some money so it can be used for her care. Not a lot but enough. I put my foot down when dh said he would pay for the care out of our account and get the money back when she dies- NOPE

Well, wasn't really short explanation but that is the shorter version.

Debbie