We broke up because...
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She brought her boxed wine everywhere we went, but I give her points for drinking it with a reusable metal straw!π₯€π
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She ate my pet calf π0
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For our 7 weeks anniversary, I bought us tickets π to the World Naked Bike Ride and she went without me! I saw herβ¦ ummm pics all over social media!π³1
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She broke me.0
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Proposed with a ring made from a lock of his own hair.π0
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She accepted anothers proposal.. she wore his hair on a chain around her neck.. she kept whispering "Mrs Roddy Piper" all day, I couldn't take it no more.0
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Have you seen her teeth? I have several new piercings in places Iβd never considered before! π³0
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She kept missing the litter box π€
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She kept missing the box π1
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She found someone with better aim π₯Ί0
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Because she didn't like my Mexican Candy! βΉοΈ
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She was obsessed with Mexican candy1
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He made me sleep inside the dryer0
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ππΌ She didnβt like my Pine-Sol dance!! π
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She gave the dairy to me π±0
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She drank the dairy! π«£
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She refused to take the Christmas tree down - wanted to leave it up until Easter0
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He was my my chicks boss0
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He had me confused with his chick's boss0
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She drank all the coffee while watching me put the Christmas tree away.0
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We got back together after she put away the Christmas tree π... then broke up because she replaced my favourite coffee with decaf π0
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I discovered she was cheating on me with the same feline I was cheating on her with. π―0
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We havenβt. And I could never joke that we did.0
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She was carrying a torch for an old giraffe shaped flame0
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Gave me a broom for my birthday π§Ήπ€0
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Kept flying around the room on a broom0
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He ate the ears off of all my chocolate bunnies!! Everyone knows that is the best part! π1
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She slapped me so hard my eyelashes came off!!π΅0
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Your natural ones are better / prettier anyways π₯°
But I cannot put up with lipstick kiss marks on the mirror. Do you know how hard they are to scrub off???0
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