Dear annoying person

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  • Hoppymom
    Hoppymom Posts: 1,158 Member
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    Dear Dad,

    You are stressing me the *kitten* out. I think I'm getting physically sick because you REFUSE to help yourself. Why in the world would you not want to get surgery to fix your heart? Do you want to die? AND this whole thing about "healthy food is so bland" .. I don't know what you're talking about my food tastes great. Maybe you should try and change your unhealthy eating habits so that you can live longer and get rid of your diabetes. I'd love for you to walk me down the aisle and at this rate YOU WON'T live that long. WAKE THE *kitten* UP. Stop being so f*cking selfish. If you can't do it for me do it for your grandchildren who LOVE you to pieces. Who CRY because they want to go to your house and spend time with you. Please dad you're only 55 years old.

    Love,

    Your emotional wreck of a daughter.
    Are you one of my daghters? This is their story. Well written. Sorry, that you are hurting. Excellent thread, everyone.
  • piezoeyjune
    piezoeyjune Posts: 186 Member
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    This is the most hysterical thread ever. I've started working from home, so mine shall be directed to the newest addition to our family....

    My dearest sweet fuzzy bundle of love,

    I DO NOT have time to take you outside 20 times a day. It may appear as though I am just sitting here, but it isn't my fault you don't understand the function of a computer. Learn to tell time, dinner is at 6... not 2:30, 3, 3:20, 3:25, 3:58, 4, 4:13, or 5:08 as you insist. I'm quite clear on what you want and banging your food bowl does not increase the likelyhood that dinner will come any faster. Just my migrane.

    I do not want to touch your slobbery conglomeration of fuz that used to resemble a fish. So stop putting it on my lap. If you play with your ball by the couch, it will go under the couch. It happens every time. Play with it SOMEWHERE ELSE!

    Yes, it is raining. So pee already. Just standing there looking disgruntled is not going to make the rain stop or alleviate your need to use the restroom.

    And for the love of all that is holy, stop chewing on the cat.

    ~ With love, your mother

    Awwwww, funny. Welcome to my life...

    As for everyone else; THANK YOU for the laughs. Im sorry to laugh at your letters but holy cow they are funny! Many of them I can relate to but I dont write as well as you.

    Thanks for this thread. I needed a laugh on this cold rainy New England day...
  • MrsM1ggins
    MrsM1ggins Posts: 724 Member
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    Dear neighbour children,

    Please stop climbing on the fence. Every time you break it I have to go out and fix it again. Now I might claim that effort back as exercise, but I'd really rather be doing something a bit more fun. And, for the love of god, PLEASE get rid of your f'ing trampoline.

    Boing...scream...boing...scream...boing...scream...boing...scream...for hour after hour after hour. I wouldn't mind so much if the screaming was of the "help, I'e broken something, please take me to A&E immediately" kind, but despite my hopes and wishes it never is, and why is there always another kid screaming that it's their turn now as well? Just SHUT UP!!
  • statia152
    statia152 Posts: 558
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    Dear Sibling ~

    Thank you for pushing me out of mom's care in her last two years left on Earth. And not calling me when she was in the hospital for 18 days before she died was very thoughtful of you. You did a great job of manipulating me out of the will. Oh, I love how you told mom that I have AIDS (really?) and that all of the money would go to treatment / medication only to have me die in the end, so give it all to you and your kids. But did you have to tell her that I had stolen the guns and jewelry to pawn for money, when you were the one who took/sold them? Honestly, did you expect a reply after 8 years of no communication? What the *kitten* did you mean by "miss you"? From my point of view, you missed nothing: the house, the camp, the vehicles, the bank accounts and all the stocks / bonds our parents worked so hard to save.

    ~ Your sister

    PS ~ If the guilt is too much of a burden, you may issue me a check for $438,000 to help ease your conscience.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    Dear downstairs neighbors,

    I miss the girl who used to live in your apartment. I'm SICK AND TIRED of you keeping me up until all hours of the morning because you have sex all night. Every night. Oh, yes, I can hear you getting it on in the evenings, too. Can you turn down the volume a little bit? If I wanted to listen to sex, I'd turn on some porn. This cold I have? I think it's lasting longer than it should since I CAN'T GET ANY SLEEP! There's a reason I haven't met you yet, after a month, and it's because I might punch you in your f***ing faces.

    Sincerely,

    Your pissed off neighbor

    PS My roommate says, "If you're going to be so loud, why don't you just videotape it while you're at it so we can watch, too"
  • morganadk2_deleted
    morganadk2_deleted Posts: 1,696 Member
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    Dear children, please call me once awhile when your world is not falling apart or you're broke.

    Love this :tongue:
  • _Ben
    _Ben Posts: 1,608 Member
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    Dear Girlfriends Dog,

    Yes you are by far the most adorable dog in the world, who would have know a half german shepard half dashund could be so confused. But you need to learn to hold your stuff in. I love that you are so excited to see me, especially cause Im the only one who takes you on walks, but when you pee everywhere as soon as you see me (or anybody for that matter) I hardly want to pet, cuddle, or play with you. Just aswell, when we took you to the company picnic and you instantly **** and pissed all over yourself, that was great.... If you could work on that, Im sure we could be much closer friends,
    Thank you for your time
  • pacmanjack
    pacmanjack Posts: 866 Member
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    Dear Viagra and Cialis,

    When I'm watching a football game on CBS or Fox, and trying to get my kids to actually enjoy football instead of playing XBox or Nintendo 3-DS, please take your stupid ads and run them elsewhere. I just don't feel like explaining erectile dysfunction to young children.

    Sincerely,

    Pacmanjack

    P.S. What's with the his-and-her's outdoor bathtubs anyway?

    P.S.S. You really suck
  • krysydawn
    krysydawn Posts: 231 Member
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    Dear Stuck up Mom at the Bus stop,

    WTF is your problem? Do you not speak? Or just not to "lower" people then yourself? I hope you realize how farkin rude you are and how annoying it is to have someone stand 15 ft behind you and not say a word. Btw, You should try keeping your "*kitten* trophies" away from the street... they are suppose to be ON the bus, not under it...

    *rolls eyes*... some kid's parents.......
  • ncgatorfan
    ncgatorfan Posts: 517
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    Dear Viagra and Cialis,

    When I'm watching a football game on CBS or Fox, and trying to get my kids to actually enjoy football instead of playing XBox or Nintendo 3-DS, please take your stupid ads and run them elsewhere. I just don't feel like explaining erectile dysfunction to young children.

    Sincerely,

    Pacmanjack

    P.S. What's with the his-and-her's outdoor bathtubs anyway?

    P.S.S. You really suck

    bwahhahahaaha - totally agree!
  • Jeepinmom4
    Jeepinmom4 Posts: 298 Member
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    Dear new neighbors,
    Keep you fu(king kids out of my yard. You daughter dug another hole in my yard...wtf is she alowed to have a shovel for in the first place?? I know you don't give a crap about you yard,but I do! Ohh and if I have to get off my rider one more time to pick up YOUR kids' s**t I'm going to start keeping there toys!! Try looking out the window once in a while and you'd see them destroying MY yard! Not that you'd give a damn,you really need to go back where you came from.

    PS. I'm STILL waiting for you to repay me for the screen your daughter slit!!!!!!!
  • Legalchica
    Legalchica Posts: 462
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    Dear Moofey,

    That sound is me trying to scratch my butt. My stomach and love handles are in the way and I can't reach around and get it, so I have to drag my butt across the carpet.

    Please be more understanding.

    ;)

    LMAO
  • jennyocox
    jennyocox Posts: 143
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    Bump................ I love this thread!
  • RocketsGirl75
    RocketsGirl75 Posts: 648
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    Dear Office Trolls,

    Why must you sit in the cube next to me and fart and burp and act like no one notices? Why must some of you fight over the dumbest **** everyday as loud as you can? Why does one of you think it is ok to talk on your cell phone to anyone that calls all day as loud as you can but freaks out if someone eats a freaking chip in the office? Why do you think it is everyone else job to find the deals that you lost or are most likey in your desk because your lazy *kitten* never even bothered to look? Why do you kiss so much *kitten* that you can do whatever you want whenever you want but the rest of us have to work?

    There is more but that is all for now.

    You annoy me and I really don't like most of you.

    Carry on,
    Lisa
  • Vegan_Chick
    Vegan_Chick Posts: 474 Member
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    Dear idiots walking on the sidewalk, move over and let me use it too!
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
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    Wow. .. .reading these makes me seriously happy about getting to work at home. . The only person right now that can annoy me would be me. .. And that could happen lol. . .

    I am only sharing a workspace with the dog and my cats today.. . .

    May everyones annoyances get better today. . . May someone or something come near you that makes you smile or laugh. . . Take it easy.:smile:
  • rmartin72
    rmartin72 Posts: 1,094 Member
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    I'm very grateful that I work alone in the office. My heart goes out to each of you:smile:
  • sarah_ep
    sarah_ep Posts: 580 Member
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    Dear idiots walking on the sidewalk, move over and let me use it too!

    YES! Or please have your pow wow somewhere else, or move HALF A FOOT so I can squeeze through. It's hard to go around you considering I don't want to get hit by a car.
  • iAMaPhoenix
    iAMaPhoenix Posts: 1,038 Member
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    Dear Deadbeat Parent,

    Pay your ****ing child support. If after paying said child support and your child still cannot afford FREE lunch, then get a second damn job to take care of your seed. Just because she/he married someone who can now take care of them does not absolve you of your responsibility.

    Hope that is not asking for too much!!!
  • Moofey
    Moofey Posts: 444
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    So starting a blog on things that annoy people....
    Place to rant!

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