Reassurance and Motivation

I weighed 285 lbs. I had HBP, sleep apnea complete with CPAP, back pain that made it hard to walk more than 2 blocks without stopping to rest and a seemingly permanent cough. I was a heart attack or stroke waiting to happen. My first “workout” was classic. I went to the basement, took down the stuff hanging on the stationary bike and dragged it out of the corner. That first day I did 8 minutes. And an easy 8 minutes at that. It was the most I could do.

I told myself exactly this- “I want to be the kind of person who works out every day.” So I did. I’d come home from work, go directly upstairs and put on my workout clothes and head to the basement. One thing became the queue for the next thing. I read books on fitness. I kept fitness magazines on the nightstand. Most of the “experts” suggested a rest day. So my routine became this- Mon-Fri bike, Sat a long walk, about 90 min. Sunday off. Then when the weather was better I switched off day to Tues and added a bike ride on Sunday. It took me about 2 years to get the nerve to go to the gym. Now I’ve been at goal weight for years and have done all sorts of exercise. I play Pickleball regularly. That little avatar pic is probably my proudest moment about 6 years ago. I weigh a couple pounds less than that now. I’m telling you this so you know that what you are trying to do is doable. I’ve done it. Nothing special about me really. Maybe I’m just more persistent than a lot of people. At some point things changed in that I once considered exercise part of my weight loss plan but now I maintain my weight to support my fitness goals.

A couple of things to watch out for starting out. Everything @snowflake954 says is true. One of the first things about the gym is you gotta keep showing up. Well, before that let’s talk about our brains. Our brain, at least part of it, will resist change. So your brain will try to wreck you. It will tell you that you look bad. That you don’t belong at the gym. That the other people are laughing at you when you aren’t looking. It will tell you that what you are doing is a waste of time. That you aren’t getting anywhere. Beware of this- it will tell you that you constantly have to do more. It will tell you to ramp up the incline on that treadmill. It will tell you to go ever faster. Then in a flash it will tell you it’s all too hard and you should quit. As you can see it’s a clever trap to get you to give up. Push back. The reason I read those books and magazines was to keep reinforcing what I was doing. What you are trying to do is the right thing. It’s the smart thing. You deserve to succeed and you can succeed.

But watch out for this. Weight loss takes place mostly at the dining table. I can undo an hour at the gym in less than 5 minutes with a fork in my hand. Unlike snowflake954, I don’t consider exercise in my calorie count. I experimented briefly and decided that as my workouts are usually moderate intensity, I didn’t want to encourage myself to eat more by counting calories. But I count myself as “exercising” not “training.” There’s a difference. If you cross the line into training you need to support your program with enough food. But you can worry about this all later.

Don’t kick yourself over the past. Regret will sap your strength. Try not to get involved in how long it will take to get to goal. The calendar is not a weight loss tool. Don’t think ahead any farther than the next 5 lbs. Do regular weigh ins and make a chart. Don’t go to pieces when the scale doesn’t go your way short term. What you want is a downward trend. The trend is your friend. You want to weigh less and workout. Those are the only goals you need and you can accomplish both those things this week. Then repeat and repeat.

Have you started a food diary? Start one and keep it going no matter what. Calculate a calorie deficit to lose no more than 1 lb per week. Log everything you eat or drink that has calories. When you go over your number, and it will happen, log everything. Even if you go wildly over, keep you food diary going. Do that and you will never have to start over. Calorie counting has a lot to gray areas and there are lots of ways to make mistakes. But like a lot of things, it doesn’t have to be perfect to work. Ever try to play music? Ever play a wrong note? Ever try to shoot baskets? Ever miss? Did you throw up your hands and walk away? People do that counting calories and then wonder why they don’t get anywhere. Weight loss is mostly about problem solving and persistence. Solve enough problems and you’ll get to goal. Never quit.

And last thing- back to the gym. Keep going and you’ll see who the regulars are. Then you’ll see who the regulars are who are there to work and who may just be there to socialize. The serious gym people are mostly in their own bubble. They’ve already learned that they need to concentrate on their program and what is going on around them is a distraction. They don’t see you. But keep showing up. In a month or two you might get a hello or nod of recognition from someone who is there for real. Good luck.