WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2023

LisaInArkansas wrote: »

Rebecca - for reassurance, you might tell your middle son that my niece, born at 1 lb. 13 oz., and at 24 weeks in the womb, is now 26 years old and engaged to be married... she's the one that I'm designing and making the quilt for! Glad the docs are keeping an eye on things for them--and honestly, 39 weeks to 42 weeks is considered full-term. I'm sure it's still unnerving though, for all concerned.

Lanette - The apples are so pretty... I think Corey will be cutting back quite a bit next year as well. I could be wrong, though. He's always enthusiastic in the spring! We've learned that some things just don't do well from seed here, they need that jump that starting them from partially grown gives them. Tomatoes just don't make it here from seed. Some peppers do, some don't.

Cynthia / Cindy in Pensacola - Glad you hung in there with us... because this thread moves so fast, sometimes you get no response, and sometimes you get dozens! Either way, it's a lovely bunch of some really wonderful people, always willing to help and support.

Allie - Love the mani/pedi - hope it's a wonderful trip for you...

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The new med is still making me feel low-key dizzy and fatigued. If it doesn't stop within a few days, I'll let the gastro know, but chances are it will pass. It is already having some effect for what it's being taken for, so I'm hopeful that it will help finally stop the ulceration part of this current flare.

I have to admit, I did give up on one of my projects. I have planned for more than a year to make chair pads for the four kitchen chairs, the three barstools and my office chair... and finally gave up on it this morning and ordered some from Walmart, which they just delivered. I actually created one at the end of last week, but a) it wasn't as easy as I had thought, b) I wasn't happy with my design or the outcome of my one template chair pad, and c) the thought of making eight of them wasn't making me happy, it was stressing me out. Some things are not worth doing yourself... so I got eight of these, and I'm calling it good:

Trying to get floors done when I finish this, but don't know how far I'll get. Got Corey's roses weeded, but that was it for outside work. If I don't get started with the vacuuming, I never will. Not my favorite chore, but don't want to leave it all for Corey on Friday morning, either. So... time to get moving!

Love y'all,
Lisa in AR

LisaInArkansas wrote: »

Katiebug: Regarding your fear of losing your mental faculties as you age, you are not alone. This is an interesting take on aging as a whole, and age-related mental issues: https://medium.com/crows-feet/confronting-my-fears-of-aging-f39f3ef8ce35 Hopefully it can be reached by non-members. I've put the text in the spoiler, but she links much of the information in the article, and many of the links are interesting, as well.

AI image, with prompt generated by the author
It was just another birthday. At my age, no big deal.

But this one felt different. As the day approached, I noticed my thoughts growing increasingly dark — ranging somewhere between free-floating anxiety and stomach-churning dread.

Exactly why, I couldn’t say. So I turned to the one trick that always worked for me: Making a list.

Laugh if you want to. But taking pen in hand has never failed to quiet my anxious mind.

So I grabbed a pen and paper and sat down to write. Here’s the result:


Losing my health
As I pondered each fear I’d listed, I was surprised to feel a bit of relief. The simple act of getting my phobias down on paper seemed to soften their sting and make them feel less threatening.

For example, when considering what will happen to my health as I age, I recalled an important fact: The vast majority of older Americans can go about their daily activities without personal assistance.

Granted, we’re probably no longer crushing it at CrossFit or doing our own roof repairs. But we’re cooking, showering, and dressing ourselves (although, in my case, not always stylishly).

Losing my independence
Another calming fact I recalled is that fewer of us are living in nursing homes. For Americans over 65, it’s less than 3 percent. For those 85 and older, the number is still less than 10 percent.

I also remembered that today’s senior housing arrangements are better. A variety of independent living options are available, ranging from 55+ retirement communities and continuing-care communities to senior co-housing and senior home-sharing.

My spry, 87-year-old mom lives in her own apartment in a “Life Plan Community,” which offers services as needed for every stage of life — including skilled nursing, rehab, and memory care.

Fortunately, Mom is still able to care for herself and enjoys many amenities located right in her building, including restaurants, a fitness center, a church, and a movie theater. Seeing all this makes me glad to know she’s well cared for. I’m hopeful that when I need more support, I can find a similar arrangement.

Losing my memory
When it comes to the terrifying prospect of memory loss, there’s more good news. Around the world, thousands of talented researchers are working to eradicate the illness. Even as the population ages, rates of dementia are falling.

The fact is, most older Americans can think just fine. We might be moving a bit slower, but we’re still fully capable of outscoring our grandchildren at Wordle…or any number of other focused activities that require setting aside a cell phone for more than 10 minutes.

Losing my happiness
The last fear on my list was losing my happiness. Frankly, I have a lot to lose here. For the first time since childhood, I have the freedom (for the most part) to do what I want, when I want.

My experience is not uncommon. As research tells us, older people are more content and even have better mental health than people in early- or mid-life.

Knowing this is gratifying. And it’s truly remarkable — especially when considering all the things that fade as we age — including physical attractiveness, strength, identity, and earning power.

The takeaway
Through the exercise of making my list, I was happy to discover a yawning disconnect between what I had feared aging would mean for me, and what I knew to be true.

Making my list was a freeing exercise. In my head, I no longer gave voice to the thieves who were robbing me of my peace of mind. By naming, shaming, and reframing my anxieties, they no longer held their power.

Of course, no one can control whether or not they become sick or frail or depressed or alone. But we all can take steps to make the most of our happiness or health…or at least control how we think about whatever life throws our way.

As David Bowie said, “Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been.” Having made my list, I couldn’t agree more.