WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2024
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dlfk202000 wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »Margaret- thank you- I will keep pushing mom(gently) to get the call made for the appointment-either in person or on the phone.
I need to find a way to get all her info for when the time comes- I have no idea any of her accounts/passwords/etc
Debbie ... it will take a very pointed conversation to get all of her information. Are you her only child? If so, you need to become her POA or if you have siblings, that decision needs to be made. It requires an attorney to draw up the papers and best to do while your mom is mentally sound. If it were me, I would visit your mom on a day you can call Social Security together. Be present with her so you can speak for her if necessary (she will have to give permission). And find out what her local office number for SSA is ... the main line takes an eternity to get through.
Beth
Thank you!!
I have two sisters. I am sure mom has picked me over the other two.
She has had her will revised after dad passed away. I know for sure she did it because I got a letter from her lawyer but I don't know what it says exactly.
When I took her for ear surgery, they asked about POA or at least I think that is what they were referring to and she said I did .
I just need to get that information for sure, so I know. I have a few nephews that are trying to worm their way in. Neither of them are living in state and don't really have their act together financially to keep the property the way mom wants
I will stay an extra day to be there on a Monday to have her call or just take her down to the office, even if it is to just go down to make an appointment.
It will have to be on another visit. Right now I am trying to balance time with her but also time at home if dh has another blow up with his mom. There will be one on Monday because he is going away for the weekend to do another comic-con.(I can't be up at mom's if he is about to have a melt down again)
Debbie
Being at your mom's is probably the best place to be if your husband is going to have a meltdown.
He can learn how to deal with things on his own.
M in Oz2 -
Tracey - She's private, so I have no idea. He hasn't sent the details yet. I've looked up the prices of another local clinic that my DDIL recommended, and the initial consultation isn't too expensive.
Lanette- Your visit to the doctor made me laugh. We only get 10 minutes. We are only allowed one problem at a time. When I asked her about my bloated, uncomfortable upper abdomen, she looked quite disgusted and said, "You want me to feel it?!" as if actually putting her hands on me was the worst thing in the world.
Our clinic gets 2.5 on Google. A lot of people are giving it one star and raging. I could change to a better one,, but that would be two bus journeys and this one is at the top of my street. The worst thing is, you can not book an appointment, but have to ring at 8.15 on the day (I was told 8.30 by the receptionist, but found out on the website) and be held in a phone queue. Then you are triaged, and if the surgeries are all full, you have to ring again the next day. (I have friends with different appointment systems, so I know this is not universal.) They have also stopped phone and e-consult. Referrals can take a year. There is zero communication. Before covid, my husband was able to make an appointment, go in to the surgery with a twinge in his back, and get an x-ray up the road the same day.
I think, to save my blood pressure, I need to see someone privately. The lack of an X-Ray is my biggest worry. Private X-rays are quite expensive and you have to pay upfront. Reviews are mixed.
I can start with a consultation with a private physio. At 45 minutes it's a huge improvement on 10!
At the moment I am just doing gentle stretches and baby exercises. Lots of rest. No machines.
Edie and Bea this evening while the parents go to Max's school. I think they want to paint more drinks coasters.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx4 -
Beth, thanks, we don't have a gas cap, but I did push the springy thing in, it didn't work. I mentioned this to the gal at the dealership and she said that worked on older vehicles when vapor locks were common, but not so much anymore.
Evelyn4 -
Michele, the engine light wasn't blinking on and off, it would come on for a few days, then go off again for a few. I was told that if it starts blinking that I need to park it immediately as that's a bad thing!
Tracey, the closest thing they could come up with was possible the PCV valve. I just got an estimate to replace that, it would be about $1700!!! I don't need to worry about that as long as the light stays off, so keeping my fingers crossed!
Beth, we don't have a gas cap, but I did push in the springy thing to see what would happen. It didn't work and when I mentioned it to the gal at the dealership she said that vapor locks used to be a problem but aren't so much anymore. I guess it doesn't happen so much in newer vehicles. Thanks tho!
Heather, wow, just wow about the health system. Ours is similar, I think we get 15 min, we are allowed one issue as well as prescription renewals per visit and the renewals can be done over the phone. Right now my GP has a resident one day a week, I've seen him first the last few times and he's gone over bloodwork and other tests with me, then my doc comes in for a bit to make sure everything is clear and discuss any concerns that came up while speaking with the resident. We are fortunate that we have a GP, many in BC don't. The last figure I heard was approx 20% of BC residents don't have a GP and are dependent upon emergency clinics where the wait times are appalling. One local store had a clinic inside it for a short time, I was in the store early in the morning, probably about an hour before the clinic opened and there was a line up to get in. Many clinics are fully booked by 8 am. They open at 7. It is easy to get in for an X-ray tho, I was quite pleasantly surprised when I had to have one a few months ago, I was in and out in 15 min! It did take me three months to speak to a doctor to get the referral tho....
Rebecca, I'm so glad that you had such a good visit with your boys and the rest of the family. So nice for you to have the warm fuzzies when you think of them, rather than worry! I know you miss them, I have one living quite a distance away too, I really miss him, but being able to communicate with him sure helps!
Hugs to those who need them, congrats to those celebrating and welcome to the new gals!
Evelyn, Vancouver Island5 -
Beth, thanks, we don't have a gas cap, but I did push the springy thing in, it didn't work. I mentioned this to the gal at the dealership and she said that worked on older vehicles when vapor locks were common, but not so much anymore.
Evelyn
Our check engine light has been on for years. We've taken to the shop and had it checked and they say it's OK.
M in Oz2 -
Hooray! Persistence and sheer bloody mindedness paid off!
The surgery just rang and I have an X-ray referral!!!!! It is walk-in, so we are going this morning when John has done his exercise. It's not far, but two buses, so he will drive me. There is parking, but I might send him home and get an Uber.
They rang me at 8.30. I am so relieved. The more things I can exclude, the better.
Ginny- Thinking of you as you prepare for your visit.
Love Heather UK xxxxxx8 -
Thursday 7 March
Walked today ...
And climbed 18 flights of stairs ... 20 steps per flight, up and down and landings.
Working from home tomorrow.
Went to book a dental appointment for the 2 of us today and discovered that our dentist retired!! Marvellous. Well ... probably good for her. But not so good for us.
M in Oz
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Heather - that is great news!! Do you think the X-Ray tech will be able to tell you anything before the doctor reads the imaging? Sometimes I get a tech that likes to chat and says what they see or don't see but wait for the final report from the doc to be sure.
Direct Care Clinics -Regarding wait times - seems like with most docs around here, a person gets 8 to 10 minutes, one concern at a time as well according to friends and neighbors. At my private pay Direct Care clinic, a person gets at least half an hour, more if needed. Dr. Lisa usually takes the whole half hour, Dr. Paul can be a lot speedier.
Before DH died, I probably spent over half an hour with Dr. Paul at a time, sometimes mostly crying since DH was rapidly failing and I couldn't get Mr. Stubborn to get into the car to go see him. We had to hatch plots and trick DH, Dr. Paul was even willing to see him in the parking lot but generally I could coax him in "just to get bloods tests." Then Dr. Paul would take over. Such a time.
When I was in there yesterday, the place got kind of busy and all of the patients were my age and older. They don't mind paying $75 per month to get medical care the way it used to be. No wonder they now have a waiting list. I just did a quick check - other clinics are popping up, in the Seattle area older patients pay a lot more.
Ginny - thank you for reaching out to Kylia. Hope everything is well with her.
Machka - glad to see your energy is back, good job with the stair climbing.
It's 27F outside right now, time to light the woodstove. Supposed to be warmer and sunny today and in the mid 60's by the end of next week. I need to see if I can get the mower started.
Back later-
Lanette
SW WA State3 -
Hi,
I was away at my Aunt's celebration of life. Lots of family time. My sister in law woke up Sunday with a fever and congestion. She quarantined. I woke up with headache and sore throat on Tuesday. No fever. Longggggg drive home. DH congested. I have been in bed asleep by 7 pm last two nights. Throat is the worst. I tried to reply last night, but fell asleep.
Love, hugs, healthy thoughts!
Kylia in Ohio7 -
Good morning ladies!
Today I have to figure out a way to mark my books so Dad will leave them alone. He keeps wanting to donate them. It's awkward, I don't know if he has any idea how upset I was. He has a cheerful facade, which is usually a good thing.
Dad just came down and we had the conversation again about how he needs to wear pants to get the newspaper in the morning. He isn't convinced. Sometimes I wonder if it does any good.
Tracey good luck with your presentation!
Heather so glad your X-ray is coming!
Kylia hope all is well!
Michele welcome back north!
I'm studying medical terminology. They like to pretend all the words are made up of roots, prefixes and suffixes, but a lot of them aren't. And those words just aren't in the study materials. Such a bait and switch. Oh well at least I'm learning.
After my emotional binge last night, I ordered another book on emotional eating. I'll let you know how it is.
Have a marvelous day!
Annie in Delaware
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John drove me up there. I only waited 5 minutes for the X-ray. They said results in 2 working days. If the doc hasn't been in touch by Monday, then ring.
I got an Uber home with a very nice chatty Sikh. I did put a tip on.
The physio, that my son recommended, replied to my text, but she is out of the country. Not back until April. Her company is open though, so I will book something as soon as I get the results.
I saw there was a Physiotherapy department at the polyclinic, but I would have to get a referral and don't know the waiting list. I can ask.
At least things are moving forward.
Love Heather UK xxxxxx6 -
Morning, my chickadees, from the pre-dawn darkness of the Arkansas River Valley,
Heather - SO glad that X-ray is in the system now, and hopefully there will be some movement on the medical side in response or exclusion as appropriate.
Kylia - Glad you're home and OK, but so sorry you're ill.
Annie - This is an interesting piece on emotion and hunger: "Hunger: The 'Proverbial' Emotion". It discusses hunger as a gate to almost every emotion we've got. For me, knowing whether I'm hungry or thirsty is a thing... I always try to drink something if I feel like I'm starving without warning. You'll find a way.
Tracey - Hope the presentation goes very well.
Time to get moving, jump in the shower and head for town. Having a nuclear stress test on my heart this morning, the first one that is necessary before inserting the stroke preventer. My mother had her first heart attack at 51 (I'll be 64 next birthday), so heart disease runs in the family. I'm in A-Fib 24-7 and have been for at least three years now. I think it was April who said you were having two heart tests? My next one is in April as well, the heart ultrasound. Fingers crossed for you and me both that the news is good!
Gotta go!
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
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Lisa that's an interesting article Thank you! So maybe I got emotional because I was hungry. I didn't have my usual protein and fiber meal at two.
Annie in Delaware3 -
Anniesquats100 wrote: »Good morning ladies!
Today I have to figure out a way to mark my books so Dad will leave them alone. He keeps wanting to donate them. It's awkward, I don't know if he has any idea how upset I was. He has a cheerful facade, which is usually a good thing.
Annie in Delaware
Where are your books located?
I'd be sure to keep them in my room where he couldn't see them. You can have a stamp made up that says, "Property of ..." but so many books end up in used book stores with that sort of thing, it doesn't really matter. Maybe a little sticker on the front with your name?
Maybe he thinks they are your mother's books.
M in Oz
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Beth I have had the same problem with my car in regards to the check engine light. I do not have a gas cap. I even tried that with my car. I bought one that was supposed to work with my car. It didn't fit quite right. I still use it when I take it through a car wash for some protection of the gas intake. I did take mine in too and they got it fixed still not quite sure what they did. There is a way you can reset it so it goes off.Directions on the internet. I have done that too. Sometimes it stays off sometimes not. My car has a turbo charger and I suspect that is one reason I have had more trouble with it going on. Still I do not want to leave it on. I would not know if something really serious was going on if it it is on all the time.
DebbieI researched spousal benefits more after I wrote last night. They are not retroactive to death. They will start from the day you apply. Even then it can take 2 to 3 months. The $255 death benefit had to be applied for within 2 years of the death. So they sooner your mom applies the sooner she will have that additional income.
Now all the more reason not to wait a month and a half. Going down to the office today. I will take a book.5 -
I did my fifteen minutes on my bike and ten minutes walking! Yay!
I looked up the survivors benefit from social security last night. Since Dad's monthly pay was higher, mom's will be discontinued. That's what we expected. But we still have a phone call scheduled.
Annie in Delaware4 -
Engine Lights ... in New York State where I live, your vehicle will not pass the yearly state inspection if the engine light is on. It must be fixed. It's a a costly pain in the ....
Healthcare...I am not a fan of the US medical community by any stretch ... they failed my son. But I can say that I've never experienced the problems with delay of care that you all are talking about. That's outrageous. I've also found providers that I am comfortable with ... and who do take whatever time I require ... and I can require a lot of their time! The hearing loss situation has made me "memorable" to my doctors and I think it helps when you become a "person" in their eyes instead of a "patient." I cultivate that with my providers as much as I can.
We were to take a day trip this morning, but my husband is having more back problems and didn't want to sit in the car for a long time. He's had 3 back surgeries, including a fusion. The siding and drainage projects of this past summer were a mistake for him physically. I might have mentioned that to him before, during, and after the projects. Yesterday he was at his back surgeon's office and he's most likely looking at more surgery in the future. Stubborn man.
So today I'll tackle some Spring cleaning! Woohoo.
Beth near Buffalo
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Heather and Evelyn - I think all of Canada is in the same state. My MIL is struggling in NB and my Mom soon will be.
My doctor wasn’t really ready to retire, she would have kept going but for the way GP’s are paid now. It’s the government that set the 15 minute thing and that’s all they are allowed to charge. She also said it used to be that 80% of her time was seeing patients and 20% filling out forms and such. Since everything went digital it has actually flipped. That and not being able to find doctors for the clinic she owned is why she retired. She was let even 65, she said that she didn’t go to school to do what she was being forced to do and if she couldn’t be a proper doctor she didn’t want to do it anymore. She felt she was not doing her patients justice. 😞
On a side note, she actually is still reading reports for things she had ordered, she called me a couple of weeks ago to go over my bone density scan with me about 7 in the evening. She retired Dec 20th.
Heather - I’m so glad you have the first step in. Hopefully the X-rays will get you some answers.
Annie - can you separate your books to somewhere else in the house. Sometimes dementia can cause people to be fixated, this might be a source of contention for a bit. It’s so hard to deal with.
My Aunt got fixated on sending birthday cards, problem was the people she wanted to send them to had passed. Her daughter had some cheap cards she let her search through to “give” to each one. She would pick one out, ask my cousin for the address, she would tell her she had to find the address. The next day they did it all again.
This went on for a few months until she found another thing.
Kylia - Feel better soon.
I was awake two hours before my alarm. I’ve caught up with you wonderful ladies, scrolled through FB and now have an hour to kill before class starts.
Maybe I’ll sort some pictures for Kaitlyn’s scrapbook. I could do the responsible thing and reread my notes for the presentation or study for my quiz tomorrow, but that just doesn’t sound as appealing.
Tracey in Edmonton7
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