Wrong answers ONLY!
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We've already talked about other interesting sports much earlier in this thread (does anyone remember extreme ironing?), but I did locate a list of 37 other "sports" to take football's place in our affections.
Unfortunately, my cellphone camera screenshot function wouldn't let me capture the whole list, so I've truncated that to the first 15. (You'll notice, extreme ironing is number 10.) I think any one of these could possibly overtake football as America's national pastime. My personal favorite is competitive worm charming.
How can you tell if someone is lying to you?0 -
Depends if the person is a politician. If so you can tell they are lying by simple observation: their lips are moving and sound is coming out.
( probably not even a wrong answer
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When have you been guilty of a white lie?
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Never. I have never told a lie of any color... as sure as my name is @Cat0703a. Or is it @frankwbrown? Or maybe @nossmf. I'm not lying - just unsure.
How often do you see your best friend?0 -
My best friend is in jail for 25-life. But it’s okay, I see him all the time since I’m next door in my own cell. It makes those all night chat sessions so much easier and we get to have dinner together (last night was meatloaf, mashed potatoes and peas….he ate my peas) every night!!
I’m finally feeling well enough to spend a few hours in the kitchen meal prepping for this week. Before I head out grocery shopping l, do you have any ideas what I should make?1 -
May I suggest the Ultimate Flourless Chocolate Cake (for your visiting gluten free friend), and chocolate mousse, a giant chocolate peanut butter cookie cake, chocolate pound cake, chocolate-glazed brownie cupcakes, chocolate donuts, chocolate covered strawberries, any Talenti Gelato flavour with the word "chocolate" in it and Hershey's kisses - in case Frank stops by. Oh... and Reese's Pieces and a Pepsi for @nossmf, since he won't have coffee with us. (I'm assuming you already have coffee.)
I've been brought in much too early for today's job. In fact, they probably could've saved some money and brought me in to start tomorrow. Since I probably have 2-3 hours of free time ahead of me, but can't leave to go anywhere, other than checking out the threads here at MFP, how should I amuse myself?0 -
You should search for any old threads about obscure topics and post in them to bump them up
the older the better - ones like " I need to lose weight for a wedding next month" from 10 years ago
Or give advice about how to log foods from now closed restaurants or how many calories are in items now deleted from the market
Throw in some words of wisdom about how to escape from Big Pharma or deactivate your Covid vaccine microchip.
I am worried about going over my daily calorie limit. I only have 1 calorie left for the day - maybe 1/4 of a lettuce leaf
but how to cut my lettuce leaf in even quarters so I know each one has exactly same calorie amount?
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Precision slicing of lettuce leaves is very demanding, requiring sophisticated machinery in large processing plants. For the casual eater, I recommend against attempting this yourself, for your own safety. Instead, have you considered eating a sprig of celery, since it has a value of negative-3 calories? Everybody knows celery burns more calories digesting than it delivers to the body. If you consume -3 calories worth of celery, you can then afford to eat the ENTIRE lettuce leaf's 4 calories, and voila! Calorie limit maintained.
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Every Monday in the weight room, space on the bench press becomes hotly contested as everybody attempts to honor National Bench Press Day. Sometimes people have to delay their entire workout by several minutes while they wait for a station to open up. Adding more bench stations isn't an option at my gym, where floor space is limited, while NOT doing the bench press on Monday is a federal felony punishable by up to 24 hours of delayed pectoral development. What can we do to resolve this potentially catastrophic dilemma?0 -
There are a number of recommendations as alternatives to a bench press, but each of them is deficient in some way:
- chest press machine - these machines generally have you at a bit of an incline, so this won't work. You need to be supine for a bench press.
- plain old push-up - this might seem appropriate at first. But in fact, it's worse than the chest press machine: your body is facing the floor instead of the ceiling. Clearly, that won't do!
- TRX chest press - Oh, give me a break! No way!
The only real alternative is one that most people never even consider. And that is, to use a gym partner as your bench. Have a partner be your bench, and you be your partner's bench. For bonus points, practice the yoga cat/cow poses while you are acting as a bench. This will be an added challenge for the both of you.
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This year, 2024, is Chinese Year of the [Wood] Dragon.
Actually, Chinese New Year's Day isn't until February 10th, so I suppose until then it's still Year of the Rabbit. Anyway, Rabbit or Dragon, the Chinese New Year celebration (aka Spring Festival) is a great opportunity to celebrate. But as I am of European descent, I am unsure exactly how I should celebrate, in order to best demonstrate my appreciation of Chinese culture. Any suggestions?
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The Chinese are especially fond of outsiders, as evidenced by the Great Wall of China. (Oh, you thought it was supposed to keep people OUT? Nope, the Chinese needed the extra wall space so they could create an enormous banner welcoming everybody IN! Unfortunately, the Great Silk Shortage of 2000 B.C. meant there was not enough silk leftover to create the banner AND all the dragon figures for the parades, so something had to give.) Anyway, if you are truly serious about learning about Chinese culture, travel to the nearest Chinatown (most cities have one...if yours doesn't, try the Farmer's Market) and ask to see Lee. When they ask which Lee, just repeat your desire to see Lee. Once Lee reveals himself (or herself, it's the 21st century after all), tell him/her/they how you want to be introduced to the Secrets of the Universe. Make sure you speak in a suitably spooky and mysterious voice when you say this. Before Lee will allow you in, you will be given a test: it's a simple test, every Chinese child above age 1 can complete it. Are you ready? Secure a Chinese finger trap to both index fingers...then a second to both middle fingers...then a third from your right pinkie to your left ring fingers, a fourth from your left thumb to your right ring finger, and a fifth from your right thumb, around the back of your hand and wrist, and back to your right thumb. Once they are all secured, simply free yourself within 60 seconds. Let's practice right now: I have a stopwatch handy. Ready, set, go!
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After shoveling my driveway and sidewalk, I came inside to enjoy a nice hot cup of cocoa, and it suddenly hit me: when I was outside, there were a dozen other people shoveling their driveways, but every single one was on my side of the street. I cannot recall a single time seeing somebody on the other side of the street ever having to shovel their driveway, yet it is always clear. I asked my neighbor about this, and he told me some crazy story about how since their house faces south, the sun clears their driveway for them, but that just sounds crazy to me, since I was outside during the day with plenty of sun in the sky yet my driveway still had tons of snow. Clearly there must be another explanation. Could you please enlighten me?0 -
From your description of the situation, it seems apparent that this is a conspiracy orchestrated by your neighbors across the street. I suspect that they have pooled resources and hired someone to come in the dead of night and shovel their snow onto your side of the street. I suggest you alert your neighbors on your side of the street of this conspiracy, and collectively begin shoveling snow back onto the other side of the street to let those neighbors know that that sort of behavior will not be tolerated.
I need help with what I thought was a fairly simple problem:
When I boil water, a lot of it seems to disappear. This happens even when I start with ice. What am I doing wrong?
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Whoa...you must have mistakenly been issued one of the government's super-duper-top-secret "omission ovens". Originally designed to help eradicate the world of dangerous bacteria responsible for plagues of the past, the federal bookkeepers unfortunately made a mistake in their ledger when a clerk mistook a 7 for a 1. (In his defense, the handwriting of his supervisor was very difficult to read, we think he may have been a doctor in a previous life.) This small error allowed for 6 of the ovens to be "omitted" from the government inventory lists. Once World War II began, the Allied Powers feared the Axis would infiltrate our warehouse and steal the bacteria-eradicating ovens and reverse engineer them to become bacteria-creating ovens to be unleashed on our troops overseas, so the government moved all the ovens to a safer location...at least, all the ones the inventory list identified, meaning six ovens were left behind. After the war, the warehouse was purchased by a small company which made toys, who threw these seemingly worthless ovens out into the street. Over the years the ovens have changed ownership dozens of times, but were always cast aside because of their habit of causing half the food cooked within or on top to disappear. Somehow, one of these ovens has now made it into your hands. But now you are armed with the knowledge of its potentially unlimited uses, from eliminating your debt (simply drop a bill into a pot, and poof! Gone! No more debt!) to ridding the world of all its scourges, like world hunger and politicians. Use your imagination, but please, wield your awesome new powers responsibly. And keep an eye on your neighbors...you never know if a dormant Axis sympathizer may discover the truth and try to rebuild the New World Order through "borrowing" your oven.
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The whole idea of drinking water for health seems like an endless circle of futility. We're told to drink water to be healthy, yet the more we drink the more often we need to go to the bathroom, only to see all that water leave our bodies, thus requiring us to drink yet more water. Over and over, it never ends. Why can't modern science come up with something which we can consume for health, yet it never leaves us and thus never needs to be replaced?0 -
Scientists are currently working on a muscle pill. These pills will add muscles that will never go away and will never need to be exercised, unless of course you feel like it. There will be over 600 different pills, because each pill is for one specific set of muscles. But before taking these pills, consult an expert, so that you know how to achieve the well-balanced physique you desire. (Imagine having thumb muscles twice as big as your biceps!)
Some scientists are also working on a pill that will eliminate the need to drink water once you've attained enough, which should happen by the time you're two. The human body is over 50% water, and as you've said, it's a real hassle having to constantly replace water that your body loses every day. However, this pill is a terrible idea. What these scientists don't understand is that the body needs to constantly replace water in the body. If your body retained the same water for a significant period of time, the water would start to stagnate, just as any standing body of water does in nature. Have you ever seen a pool of stagnant water with mosquitoes growing in it? You wouldn't want that to happen in your body, now would you? Our bodies understand this, so they keep flushing out the old water to prevent this stagnation from occurring.
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March 10th is Leap Forward Day, when the clock suddenly jumps forward an hour, so we only get 23 hours that day. Since this is a leap year, we had an extra day in February. Why didn't we make that day only 23 hours?0 -
The answer comes from astrophysics, and the mathematical equation explaining it is 17 pages long. I will try to simplify the answer for the non-astrophysicists among us:
The Earth follows a set orbit around the sun, the size, shape and speed of it having been established billions of years ago. When early human scientists established the length of day and year, they were merely obeying the natural laws as written in a special Cosmic Codex they discovered at the bottom of the Red Sea following a drought which caused it to dry up completely until the next rainstorm reflooded it.
The Codex made it quite clear what would happen if humans tried to violate the natural laws by altering our calendars in a way not covered by the Codex. Specifically, we risk causing the Earth to shudder to a halt in its orbit, no longer rotating, no longer racing around the sun, just stuck motionless. It gets "arrested", which is where humans got the term we use when describing what happens to criminals who are locked away and unable to keep moving. (This is where the nearly incomprehensible calculation comes into play, explaining the physics which describe this change in motion.) This would mean one side of the world would be in perpetual day, the other half locked into a never-ending night, and the seasons would not change from where they are today. To avoid this, we humans can only make changes on days pre-approved by the Codex, no alterations allowed.
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Some of my favorite foods from my childhood still appeal to me, while some of my old favorites are no longer enjoyable and have been replaced by new favorites which I used to hate. I'm still the same person as I was back then, so what gives? I've noticed the same phenomenon in my kids as they've grown from baby to young adults, but it's a different set of foods for each of us. Why do our food preferences change as we age, and why do we change differently instead of all the same?0 -
that's easy. you should've been taught this in elementary school, but I'll explain it for you. each night while you sleep, one of your taste buds decides it doesn't want to do its job anymore and gets caught sleeping on the job and gets fired. the taste bud then gets mad and decides to hide in your teeth. that's why you wake up with bad breath every morning. the problem is that the bad taste bud has to be replaced. the taste bud boss looks for anybody who can work at the Tongue Corporation (TC for short). the blood department says that they have extra white blood cells that would be happy to work for TC, so they send them up to the mouth. the white blood cells don't like what the bad taste buds liked to eat for lunch every day, so they signal to the brain to stop sending it. the short answer to your question- you don't like the same foods as you get older because your taste buds are slowly being transformed into white blood cells.
how do glasses help you see? aren't they just plastic and glass?1 -
Have you ever ridden a bicycle, wind rushing into your face, and had to squint to see? The same issue plagued car drivers before the invention of the windshield, which blocked the rushing air and allowed only light to get to your eyes.
Eyeglasses are simply a car windshield in miniature, shrunk down by the Willy Wonka Shrinkinator for use by just one person at a time. People who need glasses are merely hyper-sensitive to the rush of air all around us, even on a still day. But these tiny windshields block all of this airflow from reaching our eyes, allowing us to relax and concentrate only on the light coming through.
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Since the invention of the printing press, mankind has continued to find ever-shorter methods of passing information. First we used contractions to combine two words into one (you+are=you're), then we developed acronyms to turn the first letters of a series of words into a single word (Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation = LASER). With this texting generation, now entire sentences are reduced into a series of random letters (WWJD, ROFLMAO). What will be the next method humans develop to accelerate communication in the future?0 -
Perhaps some of you are unaware of what's been happening on this thread since last May. Let me explain:
Due to a phenomenon that was unique to this thread, some of us have been communicating via quantum entanglement (aka "spooky action at a distance" as Albert liked to say). I say was, because unfortunately the update to the Rich Text Editor has broken this channel of communication. Consequently, we must revert back to the archaic method of communicating practiced a year ago. This is unfortunate, but I'm sure you all agree it pales in comparison to the loss of BBcode support.
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Why is the sky blue?
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When the sunshine (yellow) mixes with the grass and trees (green) and reflects back into the sky it is blue. When it goes grey, that is because the light is reflected from city buildings (grey) Everyone learns this in nature studies in school.
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Why don't fish drown if they are swallowing water all day long.
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Just like nearly all life, fish need oxygen to survive. But fish don't drown because, unlike most life, fish are born with a lifetime supply of oxygen. This is most evident in the puffer fish, but it's true for all fish. Through their gills, they expel the carbon dioxide that's a byproduct of their "breathing" their internal oxygen supply.
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Would it be possible, through gene splicing perhaps, to enable a person to have a lifetime supply of chocolate in their body, just as fish have a lifetime supply of oxygen? Perhaps a whole new organ, a chocolate factory as it were?
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Only a top floor, I wanted to save money on building a house so I only decided to pay for the second story. Best perk nobody's tall enough to reach the doorbell.
What's a place you would want to travel to?
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My upstairs. I haven't been up there in decades. There's just so many steps! I've been thinking of installing a reusable single boost rocket to get up there, but I just haven't gotten around to it.
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Would someone kindly explain the Andromeda Paradox to me?
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Apparently, no one understands the Andromeda Paradox.
So I looked it up myself using one of the latest cutting edge AI systems:Andromeda Paradox is a confusing malapropism originating from a misunderstanding of this sentence fragment: "… and Rome ate a pair of dox". No one really knows what was meant by that expression. There is now a worldwide research committee committed to finding an answer, as it may very well be the solution to all our problems, or maybe not.
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Is there anything else that is not well understood?
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There are a million things I don't understand, like why do mushrooms grow in circles? And where do all the leaves go after they fall. They vanish into the earth, but you can't hear the earth munching on them. And are earthquakes from eating bad food. And why doesn't the earth get fatter each year from eating so much. It's not like it exercises; it just spins around.
Why did Fred Flintstone always have clean feet in the cartoons and movies . He was always barefoot. What was his secret?
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Every morning Dino would lick Freds feet which would leave a film like substance that completely reppelled dirt while he was out in his car and at work,
If some birds can talk, why can't all birds?
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All birds CAN talk, but the only ones we humans hear are the supervisor birds chewing out their employees. Sometimes, when you hear a bunch of birds all talking at once, it's a competition between the supervisors to determine who is the REAL boss, and until this gets decided then no actual work gets done. Good thing nothing like this happens in the human world…
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Sci-fi movies routinely show us what the future is going to be like, but how can they possibly know this when I don't even know what tomorrow will be like for me?
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😂 brilliant!
They keep a TARDIS in their man cave that is hidden away behind a bookcase with a secret lever. They power said time machine up using solar panels, so at 3am when most people are meant to be sleeping they power it up and off they go, which is the shooting stars we see. they gain knowledge from their future trips, come home and type it up using AI and there we have our sci-fi futuristic films.
what is the reason we have toes, like why toes and not a solid foot that bends?
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They are spares for your thumbs - in case you accidentally blow off your thumb with fireworks, your big toe can be removed and grafted on to your hand to created a new thumb.
(this isn't even that much of a wrong answer, I really did know somebody who did this, how cool is that?)
what other body parts could we use as spares in emergencies?
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Does an octopus really need 8 arms? Imagine how many amputees could have their lives returned to normal after a transplant from nature's natural spare-part expert! (You didn't say the body parts had to be from humans…)
History says the Titanic sank because of hitting a giant ice cube, but I can chew ice cubes in my mouth just fine, so something doesn't sound right. Maybe a government conspiracy. What do you think really happened?
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You can chew ice cubes? That's amazing! My guess is you're the only person who can do so. A less trusting person would suspect you are being less than totally honest about that ability. But thinking about it, I think I see a possible explanation. You said "something doesn't sound right". I agree, and I think you've answered your own question. I'd wager that the sound you make chewing ice cubes, no matter how loud you may be, pales considerably in comparison to the sound made by the Titanic hitting that giant ice cube. It might also have something to do with temperature differences and not just sound. Sound waves can have a formidable force, and temperatures can potentially affect tensile/shear strength and the like. I just don't know.
I want to publish a book that is simply a list of all books that are themselves a list of books that do not list themselves. I think Bertrand Russell had this idea decades ago but never followed through, or else I've just never seen the book. I'm wondering, what books should be listed in my book? More specifically, should I list my own book in my book?2 -
For the love of all things holy, do NOT list your own book within the pages of your own book! Have you learned nothing from the CERN Institute in Geneva? The one where the world was worried about them creating a black hole which would swallow the world? That possibility was not because of smashing atoms together at near light-speed, but because an intern listed the name of a report within a report he submitted to his supervisor for approval. Fortunately, he misspelled a single letter in the title (spelling in Swiss is hard, even for the Swiss), so the catastrophe was narrowly averted; it only created a large crater in the ground instead of blowing the world to atoms. But after that mistake, the world governments developed an international ban against any material self-referencing itself. Even computer programs are under the stricture…just think of the error message Excel gives whenever you try to have a cell perform a calculation involving itself. However, Word editing software has lagged behind in terms of installing the required patch, so until then it falls upon us authors to observe the law and prevent world destruction. Thank goodness I saw your message in time to warn you away from this world-ending fate!
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I consider myself a semi-professional bodybuilder. (A true professional gets paid to do something; a semi-professional is the one paying for the same privilege.) But something bothers me when doing research into the past of the bodybuilding world. Specifically, the fact that bodybuilding seems to have only been around since the late 1800s. But other history books claim there were muscular heroes for thousands of years…Hercules, Samson, Achilles, the list goes on. How did these heroes become muscular if they existed centuries, even millennia, before bodybuilding was invented?
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