Wrong answers ONLY!

nossmf

You're looking at things backward. Winter isn't the selfish one...it's the innocent victim. Originally, there were only two seasons: summer and winter. You'd wake up one morning after six months of warmth, and BAM! Two feet of snow. Six months later you'd go to sleep with a white world, then wake to discover green grass and flowers. Then along comes the Industrial Revolution in medieval Europe, with people trying to force the world to comply with their whims rather than adapt to the world. One of the changes the revolution introduced was the concept of the calendar, where people could dictate to the world when it would be warm, when cold. In addition, some of the newly formed holidays kept getting argued over whether they belonged in summer or winter, so the calendar makers devised the brilliant idea of having intermediate seasons which would have a little of both seasons, satisfying everybody; thus were created spring and fall. Over time the world has slowly started to grudgingly adjust to match this new calendar concept, but since nobody taught Mother Nature how to read human language, she often misjudges exactly when this new change should take place, so some years the weather turns cold as early as September and others not until December, and the same on the flip side for when things warm up once again.

Whose genius idea was it to need graveyard shifts? Why can't the entire world all go to sleep at the same time, wake up at the same time?

frankwbrown

As to why there's graveyard shifts: graveyards are a fact of life - we live, we die, there's no avoiding that. And if there must be graveyards, then logically there must be graveyard shifts. This is irrefutable logic, I'm surprised you even asked.

Your second question is a good one, and the answer is, "I don't know." But rather than say that, I'll let the singer/songwriter guitarist Chris Smither say it, in this song. It's a conversation between a father and his young child, and it's partly regarding when people go to sleep around the world, and additionally delves into existential questions. Give it a listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b708iZ5A_I

Is there any better way to discuss philosophical questions than in song?

cmsienk

Pig Latin is the only better way to discuss philosophical questions. Think how much more attention everyone must give to the conversation.

What are some of your favorite Easter traditions?

Happygolucky182

Hmmmm definitely sipping eggnog after dinner!!! Tie between that and carving pumpkins I suppose!!

What do I sneeze in the springtime?

frankwbrown

Most people will tell you that you sneeze in springtime due to pollen in the air. That is false - it's a cover story to hide the fact that there is an ongoing alien invasion from outer space. That story is being perpetuated by govt officials who are already infected with these microscopic aliens. So if you sneeze, you're one of the lucky ones. People who don't sneeze are either in some remote location on Earth (like Antarctica) or they already have tons of microscopic alien critters coursing throughout their body.

How does one learn to pack properly, so they never forget anything? (asking for a friend)

cmsienk

I'm pretty sure I'm the friend you're asking for, so instead of answering I'll be waiting here on pins and needless as tomorrow I'll be packing for my return trip and I need all the help I can get. 😁

nossmf

One possibility is to create a checklist ahead of time, then mark off items as they are added to the luggage, to ensure all desired items are accounted for. But that's time-consuming. A much faster method is to take a lesson from the only animal on Earth which never forgets: the elephant. Why does the elephant never forget? His diet. What does an elephant eat? Peanuts. Logically then, we can harness the elephant's memory by consuming the same diet, lots and lots of peanuts. For those just starting out, or those only wanting to remember some things forever and not others, I recommend starting at a pound of peanuts per day. "Is that a pound including shells, or a pound of just the nuts," you may ask, to which I remind you have you ever seen an elephant remove the peanuts from the shell before eating? Nope, they take the entire thing, shell and all. Some magical property in the shell, perhaps. The south has long experimented to see if they can unlock the magical nature, first by boiling the peanuts, then later by deep fat frying them. But the elephant eats it raw, so should you, shell and all. So get cracking, so to speak, and prepare to be amazed how much better your memory is after just a few weeks.

Why is it socially acceptable to breathe in public, but not to pass gas? Both are simple bodily functions, after all.

Generic_Excuse

Well I'm not sure the origin of people being offended by farting all though I like to believe it started with loin clothes and the invention of fire. However, their are lots of bodily functions that are natural but shouldn't be done in public. Is farting the worst you could do in public, no. That's why I think your thinking about this all wrong. Instead of thinking about how it's looked down upon you should be looking at it for the useful tool it can be; on a bad date? Let it rip. Stuck talking to people you can't stand? Free the breeze. Standing down wind from your nemisis? Push it out. Stuck in a boring office meeting? Release the silent dragon. Of course, its all about your body timing too so you'll have to endure some accidental fire here and there and just blame on someone close to you like everyone else.


Why is it sometimes when you sleep in you wake up more tired than if you had only gotten 6 hours of sleep?

nossmf

The human body sleeps in 8-hr shifts. If you sleep less than 8 hours, you feel groggy. If you sleep more than 8 hours, the first 8 hours are considered one cycle, then you begin a second cycle. For example, if you sleep 10 hours, the first 8 hours are one cycle; then you are 2 hours into the second cycle. When you wake, your body only knows what happened in the most recent cycle. In this case, your body believes you've only slept for 2 hours, so naturally you wake up tired. To avoid this scenario, try to limit your sleep to multiples of 6 or 8 hours: 6, 8, 12, 16, etc.

Speaking of being sleepy, why is it that when I'm tired my desired food changes? When I wake up from sleep well rested, I want something hardy, like burgers or pasta, but when I'm super tired I want something light or sugary, such as a candy bar. Why is that?

Generic_Excuse

As your body gets more tired at the end of the night and knows you don't have the energy to do all that chewing on a hearty meal/snack your brain will conjure up images of lighter easier things that will use less energy to eat. This is obviously why M&M's sale pitch is "melts in your mouth" so you literally barely have to use any energy at all.


Why do some onions make us cry when cutting them?

nossmf

It's not the onions which are making you cry; it's the sad music playing in the background. Did your mother ever play for you "the world's smallest violin playing a sad song" when you complained by rubbing finger tips together? Large onions have their own version, when you peel back the outer layer you are inadvertently playing the onion's sad song. Your subconscious can hear it, as can small animals, which is why they refuse to be in the kitchen when onions are being cut. Little onions are still learning to play the song, so their song is like listening to somebody playing the scales, not a practiced song.

Why is it when one person yawns, several other people who see him also yawn?

Generic_Excuse

Because there ain't no rest for the wicked. Money don't grow on trees, we got bills to pay, we got mouths to feed. There ain't nothing in this world for free.



Why do we romanticize memories?

s1im62

Life is too short to regret everything, so memories get filtered through a little-known gland in the brain called the recollectoid. All the horrible things you did or that others did to you go through the recollectoid, and it removes or changes the events or circumstances to make it mentally palatable, then stores it in long-term memory.
It is almost always over-burdened and unable to process everything with the day-to-day unfortunate events going on for most folks, so the bad memories tend to hang around in the queue for a few months or years. This may not be such a terrible thing, because the result is that we remember the bad stuff long enough to avoid repeating it, at least for a little while.


Why do my property taxes keep rapidly rising, even though the city assures us current residents that all the new housing developments around me are going to increase the tax base, and make living in the city more affordable?

cmsienk

Because hot air rises, and taxes, like those assuring city officials, are filled with hot air.

Any ideas for getting a spider down from the ceiling in my hotel bathroom?

Cat0703a

While they don’t bother me, my friend swears the only way to get rid of them properly is to burn the building down. Good news here is that you don’t own the building so less work for you dealing with insurance and rebuilding!

What are you most looking forward to today?

frankwbrown

I'm looking forward to losing internet access again. It's great fun not being able to do the things you normally do daily, like tracking your fitness, checking your email, checking in on various social media, and engaging in witty repartee. And if you want to research what the problem is and how you might fix it, or get documentation on your modem/router, you just need to do a few google searches, and voilà!... oh wait, can't do that! Oh, this is such fun!

Is it a bad sign when one is thinking about doing some multi-day backpacking, and the things that pop into one's head is, "how will I access the internet", "how big a power bank will I need", "will my sport watch need recharging", "will I have cell service"?

Generic_Excuse

Yes, that's terrible. I hope you also don't worry about how much sunscreen, clothing, or food you need to bring too. The ONLY way to experience nature is caveman style. So what if you get lost?, the sun rises in the east, sets in the west, and moss grows on the north side of trees. Now forget all about those technological advances that make us safer and let's hope we hear from you again.



Why do we look forward to weekends even when they tend to be busier than the actual work week?

s1im62

The main reason is that it has the word 'end' in it, and that results in us being lulled into the false narrative that it will be a carefree time of fun and frolicking. Nobody wants to spoil the joy by admitting that Sunday is the first day of the week, and the two so-called 'weekend days' are as much the Weekstart as it is the Weekend. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.


The Nile river in Egypt flows north, rather than flowing south like a sensible river. Centuries of working to build channels to divert the flow, and even enormous dams built in the 20th century failed to fix the problem. What 21st century solution can be applied to fix this problem that has plagued mankind for millennia?

nossmf

Haven't you heard about global warming yet? Regardless what the conspiracy theorists tell us about it destroying the environment or the politicians denying it even exists, the truth is the secret society of national presidents, or NFL for short (the society is so secret they made sure the acronym doesn't make sense...either that or I've been spending too much time watching NFL coverage, which is absurdly impossible, so obviously the society is real...wait, I got sidetracked, where were we again? Oh yeah...). Anyway, the NFL finally figured out the best way to ameliorate the Nile Emergency is to raise the overall temperature of the Earth, thereby evaporating all the water before it has a chance to flow north. (A couple years after the program was initiated, one of the society members raised a hand to ask about an alternate proposition, reversing the Earth's north and south magnetic poles so the Nile would actually now be flowing south, which is the old north, without melting all the ski resorts. The idea is being discussed in a committee.)

Professional athletes make absurd amounts of money essentially just working out and playing games. Social media icons make absurd amounts of money essentially taking selfies. Did somebody forget to tell them they had to actually work to earn money, like normal folks?

Generic_Excuse

😮‍💨 You have no idea how much money and time goes into being a social media icon. Selfies?! Yeah right works of art is more like it. Sometimes they don't get to eat that meal they posted at all just because they were waiting hours for the light to hit the plate just right. You think that's easy for them? And the debt they rack up to always be sporting the newest and latest crap. And don't even get me started on how many lawsuits they have to endure for "forgetting" to promote the free products they receive that they begged for from small businesses. Honestly it all sounds exhausting.

Also, athletes take so many injuries in their career that they need that money later in life solely for medical expenses. Although I think they should be paid a flat rate and bonuses per injury they take... Would make for interesting matches and games.



Why do Mondays have such a bad reputation?