The Bella Club! (Closed)

Note to self. Pam cooking spray doesn't work well as a margarine substitute for grilled veggie/laughing cow cheese sandwich. It burned right away. Otherwise, the laughing cow cheese wedge works really nicely on grilled sandwiches. I like it better than fat free cheese slices.

Hubby is home and I am going to watch NCIS with him. Will probably try to turn in early tonight.

Catch up with everyone in the a.m.

Lori

YEAH! It's almost here. Weigh in day. I am both anxious and worried. I have a number in mind I want to see in the morning and I am nervous as to which way it will go. I know as long as I lose something it will be a win for me, but I am getting closer to that 210 mark and my body always likes to stop and make me wait til it is good and ready to jump to the next level. Oh man, this is nerve racking.

Good Luck to all tomorrow..and no matter if the scale goes up or down, we are all winners here!!

D

Oil of Old Lady doesn't do sh@t to make It any less noticeable.

Hope tomorrow finds everyone feeling light of a feather!

Sweet dreams everyone XOXO
Kim

Love it, gonna get me some of that oil of old lady!! Sleep well, Kim!

WOO HOO! I am out of the 210s and I am not going back!!!

It is gonna be a great day! I don't know what I am going to do besides the usual. But I am going to enjoy it!!

OK, I will admit. I wanted more, but I will take 2.5 lbs in a week. And thank all of you for helping to make it happen.

Denise

Quote from Bob Harper

"Stand up and finish what you started." -Bob Harper

Before I forget...family update. My daughter decided to go back home last night. She basically told the hubby it was up to him if he stayed at the house, but she wasn't leaving. She wanted her kid, her dog and her house and if he couldn't live with her, he needed to move out. We will see how it goes. I am praying she keeps the new backbone she seems to have acquired. Love her to death, but she gives in too easy.

That's the newest in my ongoing life saga...finally some good news. Hopefully no one will screw up my good day.

Later Bellas!
D

I have a meeting to go to tomorrow that includes lunch. Not good, as I dont get to choose, the lunch is chosen for me. Since it cost me $15, I am not likely to push it away, but I am so hoping it is something healthy.

Enjoy this Friday Ladies!! Elizabeth

Could always make your own lunch and bring anyway. I know $15 bucks is $15 bucks but your life is worth more than that. Hope is not a strategy.

I could make my own lunch, but I wont. Since tomorrow's meeting is a gathering of women (I do so hate to be sexist, but I have found this to be true in the area in which I live), the meals are more often than not healthier than one might find elsewhere. And for me, it is so important to learn how to eat half-way decently in all sorts of situations. Last night, at a meeting at which dessert was served afterwards, I did eat carrot cake, but before MFP, I might have eaten two pieces, as well as the chips and CANDY CORN!! that were available, but I kinda give myself a pat on the back stopping when I did. I am hoping (there's that word again ) that tomorrow, I can eat in moderation. I will certainly go with the strong intent of doing so!!

ok, if there is anyone here, i need some advice. i was sitting at my computer eating popcorn and all of a sudden, the right side of my face began to swell, up from the back of my teeth to my ear. It is swollen enough that I look like I have had major dental work or something. it is also warm to the touch and hurts a bit. any suggestions?

I don think it was the popcorn, but who knows? Some of the swelling has subsided. I took a couple of aspirin so we shall see what happens next. Thanks for the concern and advice!

I think Marianne is on the right track. See if blocked salivary duct sounds like what you are experiencing. Keep an eye on it. Hope things are better this morning.... Lori

http://health.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/salivary-duct-stones/overview.html

Since so many of us are introverts, how do you feel when you have to go to a meeting or gathering where there is going to be a room full of people that you don't know or maybe only know one or two people? I get all nervous for several days before and start grazing. This morning I realized this is what I did 2 weeks ago when I had a meeting in the middle of the week. The weekend before I was pacing around and my husband even commented about how stressed I seemed to be. I was aware of the mindless grazing an tried to keep it at bay. What do you do in a situation like this, and how do you keep your self under control? I was very familliar with the topic that was goig to be presented and knew it would be an easy day out of the office and was looking forward to that part. I think that it is my paranoia that people will judge me just because I am fat and come to a conclusion within 5 seconds that I am not worthy of being there or just have an overall attitude about fat people. Once I get to the meeting, I cant wait to get out of there and am fidgity or edgy the entire time I am there.

It is off to Lowes, the grocery store, post office and then time to pull a few more plants out of the garden. Hubby is working again today, and when he gets home we are going out for our anniversary.

I hate winter. Every year when I empty out the garden I get so depressed because I know it won't be long that every bone in my body is going to hurt for the next 4 or 5 months. I can't wait until we retire and hopefully we will be able to relocate to my favorite place. . . . . VEGAS!!!!

Kim,

1) Hope you have a great time celebrating your anniversary.

2) Can I please visit when you land in Vegas? I've only been there once, but absolutely loved it. Want to go again, but no traveling for us until we are done paying both girls through college. Katie is in her second year and Liz is finishing her degree online.

3) Let's tackle the big "how do you handle...." question. I'm just using the example you gave... not picking on you :noway:

It's not an introvert/extrovert thing. It's all perception. Every situation we face is a mirror. What we see in other people is a reflect of our actions or reactions to others or ourselves. Situations and the people in those situations have the potential to expose our vulnerabilities.

For me, the thought or label that I am fat is actually an easy diversion. Meaning, when I walk into a room it is obvious I am this size. Can't really hide it, can't make it go away overnight, and it is a criticism (of myself) that I have become comfortable in a reliable way. Yes, I am fat .... duh! Exposing the obvious is easier for my ego to handle than exposing my vulnerability. I would much rather a room deduce that I am a size 20 than see me as a possible failure, unintelligent, unprofessional, lacking good communication. There is this long list of qualities that I hold, to some extent, more valuable and if they were lacking I would be mortified. So my question is,.... does the thought "I am fat; therefore unworthy" a diversion from something below that thought that is causing you anxiety? So the questioning would look like this....

Statement: I am fat; therefore unworthy.

Question: Is that absolutely true, provable and 100% reliably true that you are fat and because of this you are unworthy?

Answer: No. And even in your own description your mind went through the rational points why you were equipped to be at the meeting. 1. You were invited or requested to attend. They left you in the door even though you thought you were fat. Part of you understood that you had a right to be there. 2. You knew the topic. Further affirmation that you not only had a right to be there, but a purpose. Size is irrelevant. There was space for you.

Question: Who would you be without the thought "I am fat; therefore unworthy. People will judge me unworthy because I am fat." ? How would your time leading up to the meeting have been different if the anxiety of that thought did not exist? At the meeting, would you have participated more, met more people, allowed yourself to enjoy something, carried yourself differently more confidently if the criteria of weight were removed from your mind?

We've all walked around with this thought that you expressed:
I think that it is my paranoia that people will judge me just because I am fat and come to a conclusion within 5 seconds that I am not worthy of being there or just have an overall attitude about fat people.

Question: How many people came to this event? How many fat people did you count? How many wore green? How many fat people did you meet that met the statistics of the attitude you fear? Specifically, how many fat people did you meet and within 5 seconds you deduced that they were fat, dumb and lazy etc.? Yes, you can laugh now.

That's what we fear, right? If we think we are the only fat person in the room that's what we see. We don't want to be categorized by the negative traits that are associated with fat people. But was our fear substantiated? Did we meet the very people we fear we will be labeled to be? Now, if I were on a mission to prove that green is the best or worst color in the world, I'd have a mental tabulation of every person in the world wearing green. But, my insecurities have no problem with the color green; it does have a problem with my visual size. So, I see every well dressed thin person. Then I add on to the story, the thin person carries herself differently and she is smiling. She must have the perfect life. I bet her husband... and her children...... her dog probably worships the ground she walks on, the skies impart above her and it only rains candy drops and sunshine hahahahahaha. In addition, I see every heavy person that seems far more put together than me, because I lack fashion sense. Other people are far more caught up in their own insecurities. They don't have time or the care to evaluate us. Within 5 seconds of talking with you, they realize you are not fat, dumb, lazy, stupid etc. Furthermore, we cannot read peoples' minds. Nor can we see the insecurities they are hiding. Those who are silly enough to categorize us without meeting us are doing so because their insecurities are paralyzing them. Comparison is their only hope to begin to exist.

Practically... what do I do? I had an insecurity "hit" when the Grand Opening was approaching. I felt like I wouldn't fit in, felt vulnerable that people would question whether I belonged (had a right) to teach at Body Rhythms. And to top it off, owners ordered t-shirts for staff without asking me my size. They ordered me a regular women's medium.

Question: I don't have a right to teach at Body Rhythms because in comparison to the other instructors I am larger. Is that true?

Yes, it is true my size is larger than the other instructors. Does that make me less qualified as an instructor? No, I actually have more training and years experience than any of them.

Question: Why do I feel unqualified? What is my comparison that I am using as a barometer to prove my lacking ability.
I can't perform balances like the other yoga instructor.

Question: Are balances required to teach? Are they required for the Grand Opening? Where do balances fit into the practice of yoga?

No not required to teach or appropriate for the Grand Opening. Balances are required when teaching a level 3 class or to advance your home practice. There aren't level 3 classes anywhere in this area.

See where this is going? Fat or not fitting in was the easy go to mental plague. It is the easy excuse for limitation, because it is blatantly obvious as an insignificant comparison. Weight doesn't keep me from doing yoga. Weight will not keep me from doing balances. Strength on the other hand will. I can strengthen with or without the weight. The questioning got rid of the irrational perspective, exposed the insecurity so I could reevaluate and focus on what my role was for that day.

I needed to refocus on why I teach yoga. People who can do balances are tremendously entertaining to watch. However, the general public cannot perform balances, so they just watch. The purpose of that day was to expose people to yoga, show them yoga is accessible to everyone, and encourage them to participate in yoga as part of a healthy exercise regimen. I can do that, in fact, that description is right up my alley.

The t-shirt thing was the owner's problem. She just wasn't thinking. So, I wore the same colors as the t-shirt and simply stated I can't fit into the t-shirt and gave it back. It really was a simple oversight. But, had I let my insecurity run with that thought it would have been filled with many self condemning things that weaved into a mental story that clouded the entire event.

As far as walking into a room where I don't know anyone... I look for 2-3 introverts and make a point to get to know them. This extrovert can't stand not knowing anyone in the room. We're all a piece of work :blushing: But, I love that we are working it out together. Greg & I went through a Biblical counseling training, which has helped me a lot. I have plowed through so many self help books trying to figure out how to deal with my Mom's mental illness, which in turn has helped me analyze my thinking. The specific set up for the "questioning" comes from Byron Katie. You can find her on youtube. She can be out there a bit, but I like her questioning exercise.

http://www.thework.com/downloads/onebelief.pdf

Here is her site and the questions & the turn around. http://thework.com/thework.php

Ok, I put off the treadmill long enough. Coffee mug is empty and I'm off to start my day.

Have a terrific weekend everyone,
Lori