Boyfriend Motivation???

ineed2bskinny
ineed2bskinny Posts: 62
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
My boyfriend is DESPERATE for me to lose weight. He makes comments constantly about my weight gain in a joking/funny way but I know he is being deadly serious. He asks me everyday what I have ate and if I have been to gym and won't allow me to snack in front of him, and if I do he puts me down.

I do moan to him about my looks and if I feel fat, i winge!

He has the perfect body and goes to the gym every morning without fail. I wish I had his motivation, but the more he puts me down the more I want to eat to act like I'm not bothered what he says.

Does anyone else have this problem?
«13456

Replies

  • Goldenwoof
    Goldenwoof Posts: 535 Member
    The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

    Dump that loser and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and not make you feel guilty for not being someone you're not.

    Best of luck to you.
  • _Peacebone_
    _Peacebone_ Posts: 229 Member
    Eww no... If I had this problem I'd leave his *kitten* and find someone worth my time. You can do better than a control freak loser.

    Just sayin'
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.
    Ditto.
  • jgic2009
    jgic2009 Posts: 531 Member
    The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

    Dump that loser and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and not make you feel guilty for not being someone you're not.

    Best of luck to you.

    This.
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
    no. I'd rather live alone. I'd get rid of him so fast, he'd get the bends. WHY are you doing that to yourself? You deserve A LOT better. kick his *kitten* to the curb and the commentary will stop. =P
  • Uk_Yogini
    Uk_Yogini Posts: 167
    Sounds like you need to loose the boyfriend. Not the way to motivate someone and very unkind, just saying !
  • allie1904
    allie1904 Posts: 248
    No.

    He sounds like a right **** if you ask me :indifferent:

    Even if he is fed up of you whinging he shouldn't put your down. A relationship goes both ways and he is mean't to support you not make you feel like crap.
  • PBJunky
    PBJunky Posts: 737 Member
    Your struggling to get into routine, if you can manage to go for 3 weeks straight then it becomes a lot easier. It is always the first hurdle that is the hardest to overcome.
  • florycate
    florycate Posts: 1
    My best advice is to happy in your own skin. Eat healthy and exersise because it is good for you not for your boyfriend. It's your body and your health, be happy!
  • NashvilleShelley
    NashvilleShelley Posts: 238
    Agree with above...ditch the boyfriend and you will be fine!
  • 21katykat01
    21katykat01 Posts: 51
    I agree with Goldenwoof, you need to mae a serious decision whether this guy is actually worth your time. If you want to lose weight, fine, but do it for you not for him. If you do it for him, you're only going to resent him in the end and not be motivated. Fair enough, your bf might want you to lose weight, and it's hard to hear but not a deal-breaker, but he needs to supportive or GTFO.

    xo
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
    No, I don't have that problem. Never have. When I was single, I refused to be with someone who was unsupportive or mentally abusive. Anyone who puts you down is no one you should want to be with. You can't change him, so you may want to look inside yourself to try to figure out why you think it's o.k. to stay with someone who puts you down. Just sayin.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I'm wondering if that is a current photo. If it is, there's no way in hell you can afford to lose the weight you're trying to lose.
  • NicolioRussell
    NicolioRussell Posts: 273
    My boyfriend is DESPERATE for me to lose weight. He makes comments constantly about my weight gain in a joking/funny way but I know he is being deadly serious. He asks me everyday what I have ate and if I have been to gym and won't allow me to snack in front of him, and if I do he puts me down.

    I do moan to him about my looks and if I feel fat, i winge!

    He has the perfect body and goes to the gym every morning without fail. I wish I had his motivation, but the more he puts me down the more I want to eat to act like I'm not bothered what he says.

    Does anyone else have this problem?

    Break up with that jerk! Any boyfriend/husband/fiance etc. should be supportive....and not bring you down! What a jerkface!!
  • christina_theresa
    christina_theresa Posts: 290 Member
    It sounds like your boyfriend has a boatload of insecurities and is projecting his insecurities onto you. If you want to be healthy you should be healthy for YOU, because that's the only way you're going to find true success.
  • gabriele_01
    gabriele_01 Posts: 6
    Sounds to me like you need to re-think your choices here. That boyfriend of yours isn't exactly boyfriend material if he acts like that. There is no reason and no excuse for him putting you down. That's unacceptable and you need to have a talk with him asap.

    As far as your other issue, the only one that can achieve change in you is YOU. You have to be the one wanting to get up and do something. And if you can't make it to a gym, start by making little changes. They'll add up. They say it takes 3 weeks to form a new habit, so try making yourself work out for 3 weeks. After that, it becomes routine and you'll miss it if you don't do it.

    Good luck!
  • Gigi_licious
    Gigi_licious Posts: 1,185 Member
    I used to. I now refer to this guy as my ex-boyfriend.
  • TheCats_Meow
    TheCats_Meow Posts: 438 Member
    UH. No. Never have and never will.

    The first time a significant other makes a derragatory remark about my weight and grills me about what I ate will be out the door. But not a minute before I put my foot up his backside!
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
    My boyfriend is DESPERATE for me to lose weight. He makes comments constantly about my weight gain in a joking/funny way but I know he is being deadly serious. He asks me everyday what I have ate and if I have been to gym and won't allow me to snack in front of him, and if I do he puts me down.

    I do moan to him about my looks and if I feel fat, i winge!

    He has the perfect body and goes to the gym every morning without fail. I wish I had his motivation, but the more he puts me down the more I want to eat to act like I'm not bothered what he says.

    Does anyone else have this problem?

    wow, what a ****ty boyfriend.
  • jesshall281
    jesshall281 Posts: 219
    He really needs to cut you some slack, you are trying and thats what counts, he cant expect you to just drop the weight in a week...keep at it and enjoy it. If it gets overbearing, tell him to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
  • Boo_08
    Boo_08 Posts: 94 Member
    No, My fiancé proposed while I was at my heaviest and never made hurtful or rude comments to me. Now that I've made the choice to lose weight he has been nothing but supportive and complements me every day.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    I would not call the guy a loser...
    I think he seems do be doing pretty well exercise wise/weight loss wise if I understand properly.

    That being said, if he is a "sport nuts", he might want/expect his gf to be a "sport nuts" too. Which might not be your cup of tea!

    Now you can jump on the bandwagon and "use" him for support/as a resource to lose some weight if you are happy about doing that for yourself. Why not after all? We need all the help we can get!
    If he is forcing you to do it (or rather you DO NOT WANT to do it!) then I would call it a mismatch, have a conversation about it, and split.
  • monroe61
    monroe61 Posts: 620 Member
    You should not be with someone who puts you down constantly. Your significant other should love you for who you are and encourage you along your journey but do not lose weight for him. You need to do it for yourself and nobody else.
    I couldn't even imagine if my husband was like that instead he is supportive and is in this journey with me and tells me everyday I'm beautiful and sexy :) Tells me I'm looking "skinny" which I am FAR from.
    But he knows it's harder for me then him and is being "helpful"

    I say dump the loser.
    But good luck with whatever you choose to do!
  • inatay7
    inatay7 Posts: 141
    You must feel like absolute crap around him........ I agree with the above ladies, you deserve to be treated 100% than that, you need to lose weight for YOU and he should be supporting you in an appropriate, non-jerk-like way...... chin up hun
  • mmuzzatti
    mmuzzatti Posts: 704 Member
    The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

    Dump that loser and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and not make you feel guilty for not being someone you're not.

    Best of luck to you.

    Ummm Hey this^^^^^^and also take a look in the mirror, if that is you in the picture you look great! Get rid of him! Many more out there that are not all a**holes!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I would not call the guy a loser...
    I think he seems do be doing pretty well exercise wise/weight loss wise if I understand properly.

    That being said, if he is a "sport nuts", he might want/expect his gf to be a "sport nuts" too. Which might not be your cup of tea!

    Now you can jump on the bandwagon and "use" him for support/as a resource to lose some weight if you are happy about doing that for yourself. Why not after all? We need all the help we can get!
    If he is forcing you to do it (or rather you DO NOT WANT to do it!) then I would call it a mismatch, have a conversation about it, and split.

    Anyone who is emotionally abusive is a loser.
  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
    It isn't you - it is him. He is being a @$$. It is a form of abuse (emotional and verbally). I put up with it for almost 5 years from my soon to be ex husband. I finally had enough in June and left him - working on the divorce now. I was never small (he married me big), but having 2 babies put more strain on my body. He wasn't that good looking either - he just like to put me down to feel better about himself. I have since lost 56 lbs, and he is jealous of what I have become and not his anymore. I am dating another guy who worships me and is always complimenting me. I now have low self-esteem because his my ex's abuse - don't allow him to treat you this way. Find someone who will worship you - you are worth so much more than anyone's abuse.
  • shedoos
    shedoos Posts: 446 Member
    The problem isn't your lack of motivation. It's your choice of boyfriends.

    Dump that loser and find someone who will appreciate you for who you are and not make you feel guilty for not being someone you're not.

    Best of luck to you.

    ^^This -- twice
  • rotorgrl
    rotorgrl Posts: 11 Member
    Overweight or not, he shouldn't talk negatively to you. If he wants to comment it should be supportive. Tell a man about a problem and they want to "help" find a solution. Take control of the weight, by first taking control of your thoughts. Start thinking positively, make a plan to eat better and exercise more. Little changes will last longer than drastic changes.
  • razorspells
    razorspells Posts: 162
    Dump the BF, that's absolutely wrong, no one should be treated that way. Take your time in your diet and exercise. This is for yourself and not anyone else.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories