Friends on MFP with poor food diaries?
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The second one did have a public diary, but closed it when people commented on how she eats nothing but Cheerios for every meal and had a maximum of 1,000 calories set for one day.
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honestly i think the point of making your food diary public is to get feedback from other users...Im not saying we are all doctors etc but constructive criticism is okay. I think if you are not okay with it dont make your diary public. IMHO, the whole point of being on MFP is for the group support and that includes criticism. AGain it depends on what is being said. Some people may have slept in at a Holiday Inn Express but that doesnt make them a doctor so giving medical advice on here is a big NO NO, but if its someone trying to offer help to make things easier why not!. Just my 2 pennies!
While I agree with this, I also think that support goes much longer than criticism. My diary is public, and yes I feel shame sometimes when I ate a crappy breakfast and then post on the boards b/c I'm sure all of y'all are like *gasp* Hardee's??!!
But I also prefer to be tactful, and so if I view a friend's diary I try to comment on whatever the positive was...maybe they went over but had a really healthy salad for lunch, so I'll comment on how delicious their salad looked. Or maybe they had a brownie that sent them over, but they drank plenty of water, so I'll comment on the water intake. I only comment constructively when someone asks for it, or makes a comment themself about what a ****ty day they had.0 -
You shouldn't say any thing. Part of this is learning how to eat right. The person knows that it isn't good for them. They are on here for positive feedback. If they are losing and exercising, if they feel like having cookies for breakfast, so be it. We are not on here to be dieting dictators for people, there are enough of those in the real world when fat people get mean looks and stares. We are on here to be positive and supportive. A supportive word goes more to change what you are doing than a negative one. In time when they feel better about themselves they will cut out the bad stuff, right now cheer on the good stuff. If you criticize this friend, then you could get deleted out of their live...0
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I dare someone to comment on the ludicrous amount of bacon and eggs I eat on a weekly basis.0
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I dare someone to comment on the ludicrous amount of bacon and eggs I eat on a weekly basis.
You eat a ludicrous amount of bacon and eggs on a weekly basis. :flowerforyou:0 -
When it's socially acceptable for me to tell my friends how sh*tty their grammar and spelling is, it's socially acceptable for them to tell me how bad my eating habits are.0
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Sometimes I drink nothing but vodka for breakfast
I agree, calorie intake is just that, while they might not be getting all the nutrients they need/want they may be taking multivitamins *not ideal* and etc.
Honestly if you told me that stuff about my diary I'd just de-friend you and be done with it. I don't need a second mom. I'm sure whoever the diary belongs to knows that hey chocolate cake or etc for breakfast is not the best food choice. They don't need someone being the clean food police. If they were going over their calories and wondering why they aren't losing you could probably say something. If they are under calories and losing then leave them alone.0 -
I just opened my diary to friends, mainly because I never knew it was private to begin with
But if someone were to say something along the lines of "I noticed you have been eating alot of XXXX, perhaps YYYY would be a better choice because (Insert reasoning here)", I wouldn't care at all. I love to see what other people are eating and I welcome nutrition advice. I want to eat healthier, I want to be smarter about how I am using my calories. 0 -
I honestly am here to keep track of calories. Not to get help from others. I see other people "getting help from others" and there is a lot of crap advice out there that is unhealthy or just bad advice. I'm secure in what I'm doing, and that's all I need.0
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I did not smell, TYVM. I gave up smoking for personal reasons and became "FAT"...If I could smoke, I would/ Life is short. Everyone I know that smoked died at 90...so..perhaps the surgeon general should comment on oreos and other fattening foods like he does cigarettes...being overweight is bad for your health. No one goes up to a overweight person and says stop eating, or at the beach when they are in a bathing suit, says you are making me sick, you disgust me, but there is no problem telling a smoker they smell, or get out of their space. I guess smoking is worse then obesity and smokers do not have the same rights. Wow, I thought this was a free country.
You know, I find this offensive. I grew up with parents that did (and still do) smoke. I spent EVERY DAY miserable with allergies, and you know what their response was when I would be sneezing non-stop in the car, begging them to put out the cigarette that was making me so miserable? "I have rights, and I can smoke if I want to." And yes, I'm an adult now, but I'm still bitter. Glad I can now live without it, but bitter that I had to be miserable all those years.
Now my son can't go over to their house because even though they don't smoke around him, their house is so nasty that it sets off his allergies, which leads to an ear infection every time. And don't tell me it doesn't. Allergies = runny nose = plugged sinuses = fluid backup = fluid behind ear + bacteria that is ALWAYS in your ear = ear infection.
So no, I don't believe smokers should have rights to make other people miserable.0 -
I am flattered that you are so interested in my diary. Yes, I did eat cheerios, and I explained this to my friends. If you look at my diary you will see that it went on for a few weeks and I AM now trying to stop it because it is unhealthy.
As far as the 100 calories, I am following MY Doctors order which none of you are.
I am NOT trolling just participating. I closed my diary because NO ONe was suggesting anything positive. I felt that a lot of people were making of me. However my responses have increased my friends. Many people agreed and friended me.
My intent was not to upset anyone here just offer my opinion, and since I AM NEW AND NOT COMPUTER SAVVY I AM NOT ABLE TO DO THE QUOTE. I was not aware that there were rules. So Sorry.
You just proved this thread. -bows-0 -
Maybe they have a baby that wakes them up at quarter to six in the morning like mine did, and they want to make the best of being awake two hours before the sun like I do, and they baked a ton of cookies yesterday like I did. And a chocolate cookie would be so good with their morning cup of coffee... Because maybe, just maybe, they are stemming off a foul mood so they don't create an e-bay account to try and sell the early bird baby to some poor SAP who thinks "see, babies are so cute and cuddly. Oh look! This one is on sale." It's illegal to sell babies. It's not illegal to have cookies for breakfast.
I'm having a chocolate cookie.
I'm in love with you. Can we be friends? Because I go through this same situation ALL. THE. TIME. Except for me its wine. And again, selling babies/kids is illegal. Drinking wine is not. And if I had 10 oz of white last night and someone says "Hey, that isn't healthy", I'm liable to punch them... which is also illegal.
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Unless someone asked you to comment of their food diary, why would you? That seems rude to me. This topic seems rude to me.
This, Im just saying!!!0 -
I think this seems kind of like telling an overweight friend that they are overweight. Why do you feel a need to do it? Do you think they don't know they are overweight (or in this case, that they are not succeeding at healthy eating?)? Do you think they are truly ignorant that potato chips (or whatever) are nutritionally void, and they are in need of you educating them?
Probably not. Most likely they are just as smart as you, and they already know their diet isn't as healthy as it could be. But they're choosing to eat that way anyway. Your pointing it out is unlikely to do anything useful IMO.0 -
Everyone has to do this their own way, otherwise they are unlikely to be able to stick to it. I freely admit to eating chocolate and drinking gingerbread lattes. I also use full-fat dairy, because I believe it is better for my brain, and prefer sourdough bread. These are the choices I make, as are the decisions to take an extra twenty-minute or half-hour walk to make sure I remain under, or as close as possible to, my net goal. I admire people who have the willpower to eat 'clean' and 'paleo', but I know that's not for me. If someone asks for feedback, feel free to comment. If not, allow them to make their own choices without sharing your criticisms.0
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Aren't we not supposed to judge our friends?
If you say something to them, they might just stop being honest with their logging and continue to eat the junk anyway. Maybe they are really trying their hardest.
If they don't ask for your advice, then you shouldn't say a word about it.0 -
I AM NEW AND NOT COMPUTER SAVVY I AM NOT ABLE TO DO THE QUOTE.
ALL YOU DO IS PRESS THE QUOTE BUTTON ON THE REPLY YOU WISH TO QUOTE.
kthxbai.
:flowerforyou:0 -
This is so so so true! Also, dr. Radio xm/sirius said that a recent study showed no difference in weight gain or loss among whole milk, 2% and skim. They had recommended drinking 2% (or even whole) over skim if you arent obese because this fat is ok for you.. drink up!Everyone has to do this their own way, otherwise they are unlikely to be able to stick to it. I freely admit to eating chocolate and drinking gingerbread lattes. I also use full-fat dairy, because I believe it is better for my brain, and prefer sourdough bread. These are the choices I make, as are the decisions to take an extra twenty-minute or half-hour walk to make sure I remain under, or as close as possible to, my net goal. I admire people who have the willpower to eat 'clean' and 'paleo', but I know that's not for me. If someone asks for feedback, feel free to comment. If not, allow them to make their own choices without sharing your criticisms.0
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I would say you might mention it. I have one friend on MFP in particular, who makes poor choices frequently. (Mine is by absolutely no means perfect!) And I have on occasion made a friendly suggestion. I usually don't get a reply, but the point to MFP and friends is to offer support and guidance, right?! I just recently made my diary viewable by friends... if I'm ashamed about what's in it, then I'm cheating myself!0
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Maybe they used to eat even more "junk food". Give 'em kudos for cutting back. Sure it might not be the healthiest choices but you can't change food habits and preferences overnight.
Yup! Totally agree with this.0 -
This too. Mmmm, sourdough bread sounds really good now.Everyone has to do this their own way, otherwise they are unlikely to be able to stick to it. I freely admit to eating chocolate and drinking gingerbread lattes. I also use full-fat dairy, because I believe it is better for my brain, and prefer sourdough bread. These are the choices I make, as are the decisions to take an extra twenty-minute or half-hour walk to make sure I remain under, or as close as possible to, my net goal. I admire people who have the willpower to eat 'clean' and 'paleo', but I know that's not for me. If someone asks for feedback, feel free to comment. If not, allow them to make their own choices without sharing your criticisms.0 -
I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake.
Do you ever approach them about it and tell them that they aren't making the best choices for their body?
I know that you can loose weight eating poorly by staying below your calorie intake but I don't think eating cookies and chocolate for breakfast is right for their body nutritionally and in the long run for loosing weight (carbs+fat = no extra benefits vs a well rounded breakfast consisting of protein and fiber).
I'm not saying its bad to have cheats, I have a nice sorbet for dessert most nights or sometimes a biscuit here and there...but never 500 calories worth of 'junk food' for breakfast
That's NOT YOUR BUSINESS! Each person has Health Goals...YOU Do NOT get to determine those for anyone but YOU! Also, some people have to take things 1 Step at a Time...First, lowering calories to lose weight, THEN, maybe other things...
Get off of Your High Horse...Do YOU and let them Do them. You Do NOT have the Power to CHANGE anyone. RESPECT others right to make Their Choices; You may NOT like their Choices but if You believe that YOU have the Right to make YOUR Choices, give them the Same Benefit!
If someone's diary is "public" or "viewable by friends", they evidently want people to look at it. Everyone is here to help one another.0 -
I wouldn't comment because other than what my friends choose to post on here, I know nothing about their lifestyles and food choices. There might be a valid reason for having cookies for breakfast that are unbeknownst to anyone other than the poster. They might be having three cookies, but last month they were having a packet of cookies...whatever.
I'll comment if someone has something that sounds nice, or conversely sounds unpleasant, but not from a nutritional or health point of view. Likewise, I comment on exercise achievements, but I wouldn't comment on someone if I looked at their diaries and noticed they HADN'T done any exercise.0 -
I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake.
Do you ever approach them about it and tell them that they aren't making the best choices for their body?
I know that you can loose weight eating poorly by staying below your calorie intake but I don't think eating cookies and chocolate for breakfast is right for their body nutritionally and in the long run for loosing weight (carbs+fat = no extra benefits vs a well rounded breakfast consisting of protein and fiber).
I'm not saying its bad to have cheats, I have a nice sorbet for dessert most nights or sometimes a biscuit here and there...but never 500 calories worth of 'junk food' for breakfast
That's NOT YOUR BUSINESS! Each person has Health Goals...YOU Do NOT get to determine those for anyone but YOU! Also, some people have to take things 1 Step at a Time...First, lowering calories to lose weight, THEN, maybe other things...
Get off of Your High Horse...Do YOU and let them Do them. You Do NOT have the Power to CHANGE anyone. RESPECT others right to make Their Choices; You may NOT like their Choices but if You believe that YOU have the Right to make YOUR Choices, give them the Same Benefit!
If someone's diary is "public" or "viewable by friends", they evidently want people to look at it. Everyone is here to help one another.
Mine is public so I can more easily point people to it for ideas and stuff like that if asked. Not so that people can critique me without my asking for assistance.
Don't presume to know why someone's diary is public.0 -
I think there are a few basic contingencies.
1) what is the nature of your friendship, how close are you? If its a truly casual friendship (someone you would never directly email or call or visit) then NO. If its someone you're already friends with and then both choose to do mfp together, then maybe.
2) the way you mention it means EVERYTHING. maybe don't start the conversation with "wow, i've been keeping an eye on your diary and there's a lot of stuff on there you shouldn't be eating." OR "you're making really poor food choices." not the best approach. HOWEVER, if you start to message a few people with something like "I was hoping we might all share some recipes" or "what is everyone's favorite breakfast, I'd love some suggestions that fit these goals for me (enter x amount of protein, carbs, fiber, etc)". Then, its more on the basis of starting a real conversation about nutrition instead of lecturing.
A really good program I was reading about awhile ago said that to really change your habits you need to break it down to simplest building blocks. so start with watching calories, do that for a solid week or two until you feel you can really control it every day. Next add another step until you have those 2 down, then add another step, etc. etc. The program emphasized that it's not the order of the steps that matters, its getting them into your routine. so for one person step 5 getting exercise X amount per week might be really hard, but step 3 drinking enough water daily could be really easy, step 2 switching to whole grain might be the hardest thing so they do that last. If you backslide, go back to what you've already got down and work your way back up.
so, for me. step 1 is calorie restriction, step 2 water, step 3 fiber, step 4 getting enough fruits and veggies, etc. but there are some weeks where I'm so busy that I don't even journal, I simply try to do the best I can not to overeat too much and then start over after the busy period.0 -
I was lurking through on my MFP friends diaries. Some had very very very very poor food choices but stayed below the calorie intake.
Do you ever approach them about it and tell them that they aren't making the best choices for their body?
I know that you can loose weight eating poorly by staying below your calorie intake but I don't think eating cookies and chocolate for breakfast is right for their body nutritionally and in the long run for loosing weight (carbs+fat = no extra benefits vs a well rounded breakfast consisting of protein and fiber).
I'm not saying its bad to have cheats, I have a nice sorbet for dessert most nights or sometimes a biscuit here and there...but never 500 calories worth of 'junk food' for breakfast
That's NOT YOUR BUSINESS! Each person has Health Goals...YOU Do NOT get to determine those for anyone but YOU! Also, some people have to take things 1 Step at a Time...First, lowering calories to lose weight, THEN, maybe other things...
Get off of Your High Horse...Do YOU and let them Do them. You Do NOT have the Power to CHANGE anyone. RESPECT others right to make Their Choices; You may NOT like their Choices but if You believe that YOU have the Right to make YOUR Choices, give them the Same Benefit!
If someone's diary is "public" or "viewable by friends", they evidently want people to look at it. Everyone is here to help one another.
Mine is public so I can more easily point people to it for ideas and stuff like that if asked. Not so that people can critique me without my asking for assistance.
Don't presume to know why someone's diary is public.
I'm not presuming anything. I just simply think that if they aren't private, then people have them open for friends to look at. I look at my friends' for food ideas and I hope that they look at mine for the same and to offer me some tips. Example: I noticed a friend of mine eating hot dogs a few days a week... i simply suggested that the fat free hot dogs had a better comparison and a lot less calories than the turkey dogs. Healthy suggestion. Simple.
I think everyone is being a little hard on on the originator of this thread. Sounds to me like they are simply trying to be a good friend.0 -
Not unless they specifically say that they need help loosing weight... then go ahead. Otherwise I'd keep to watching your own diary. No reason to purposely make someone feel bad or lose a friendship.0
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Maybe they used to eat even more "junk food". Give 'em kudos for cutting back. Sure it might not be the healthiest choices but you can't change food habits and preferences overnight.
^^^agree 0 -
well, I still eat pretty crappy some days I will go ahead and log it so i know what I'm doing wrong when I see I've gained or haven't lost anything. I don't think there's anything wrong with giving someone a private message about eating healthier, especially If they've added you or vice versa. If someone had a problem with it, then they could just un-friend you and that's deff not the end of the world0
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I think for some people the process is a long one. Yes their food might be crappy and unhealthy but they are at least entering it in. Sometimes when you try to be nice and helpful, people get defensive and it makes the situation worse. I believe that you can say something when they start saying that they have hit a plateau or that they have been gaining weight. Or if they ask you what your doing to lose weight so quickly or productively this give you an opportunity to point out the healthy ways that have contributed to your weight loss.0
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