Confused about a GUY!

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  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    He says he isn't ready to commit to anyone and doesn't want a relationship.

    Believe what he said. If you are looking for a relationship stop the affection and just be friends only. Some people go to Sams Club to fill up on the treats they really don't intend to by anything. So if you want to be bought don't waste your treats on him . I don't mean it in a mean way, I just saying. Sorry if it comes off that way.

    My cousin put this on facebook. I thought it was interesting.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html

    lmao this sam's club comparison is funny lol.

    what if he says he wants something, but not ready right now, no affection/physical activity involved - 6 months of strictly friendship? hmmm
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    this is my answer to all guy questions : MEN ARE IDIOTS lol
  • chauncyrenayCHANGED
    chauncyrenayCHANGED Posts: 788 Member
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    Oh! If you're cool with FWB, then I'd lay out the rules.

    i.e. No asking if you are seeing anyone else & no being jealous!

    lol!
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
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    He wants to clap dem cheeks.
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
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    Caveat: I only know what you've told us so I may be way off base here. But based on what I know this is how I read it.

    He likes the FWB situation. But he thinks there's someone out there better. You'll do for now, but he's also knows he's got a good thing going here and doesn't what that threatened. This is why he's asking about other guys and being "sweet".

    Minute he finds someone he thinks is better...gone, and I don't mean just the benefits part.
  • HMD7703
    HMD7703 Posts: 761 Member
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    Girl if you are good with FWB, then hit it!!! Just remember, if you let your feelings get swept away while doing FWB, you will end up hurt. You have to get into the FWB mindset - like he is... no strings. And be open to the fact that this might all end when one of you finds something better.

    :)
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    It means he wants you to be his booty call and nothing else.

    Well, that's just it. It's not a "booty call". We are actually friends. We hang out and we don't always mess around. That's one reason I'm kind of confused.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    He says he isn't ready to commit to anyone and doesn't want a relationship.

    Believe what he said. If you are looking for a relationship stop the affection and just be friends only. Some people go to Sams Club to fill up on the treats they really don't intend to by anything. So if you want to be bought don't waste your treats on him . I don't mean it in a mean way, I just saying. Sorry if it comes off that way.

    My cousin put this on facebook. I thought it was interesting.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-mcmillan/why-youre-not-married_b_822088.html

    lmao this sam's club comparison is funny lol.

    what if he says he wants something, but not ready right now, no affection/physical activity involved - 6 months of strictly friendship? hmmm

    Well, like I said earlier, he says hes not really ready for a relationship or to commit to anyone. Someone said it's me he's pointing that towards. So, I don't know. I really just think I should stay friends. If something happens it happens. If not, it doesn't.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    Oh! If you're cool with FWB, then I'd lay out the rules.

    i.e. No asking if you are seeing anyone else & no being jealous!

    lol!

    True. BUT, he asked me! lol That's another reason I'm jealous. So many reasons! Grr! He asked me out of nowhere this past Friday if I've messed with anyone else. If you don't like me why do you care?!?!
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    He wants to clap dem cheeks.

    I love the guys responses. So short and "sweet". lol Get right down to the dirty point.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    Caveat: I only know what you've told us so I may be way off base here. But based on what I know this is how I read it.

    He likes the FWB situation. But he thinks there's someone out there better. You'll do for now, but he's also knows he's got a good thing going here and doesn't what that threatened. This is why he's asking about other guys and being "sweet".

    Minute he finds someone he thinks is better...gone, and I don't mean just the benefits part.

    I hope it doesn't turn out that way. :( He is friends with all of his exes. Which is good if it's possible to do that. It's hard for me personally to be friends with exes. But, I mean, you may be right. Same goes for me though. If I find someone then bye bye FWB and he can't be mad!
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    Girl if you are good with FWB, then hit it!!! Just remember, if you let your feelings get swept away while doing FWB, you will end up hurt. You have to get into the FWB mindset - like he is... no strings. And be open to the fact that this might all end when one of you finds something better.

    :)

    Yep. I am trying that. I did like him and fall for him pretty quickly at first but then realized the hard way that it wasn't going to happen. So, I stopped talking to him for awhile. That helped me get over him. Other than friendship and messing around some. I don't talk to him daily anymore and stuff doesn't always happen when we hang out. We hang out and watch movies, chill or just talk for hours at a time at one of our houses without "sex" in mind.
  • sunnyday789
    sunnyday789 Posts: 309 Member
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    Ok, so I know I'm older than you and things have changed, but don't you think being in a FWB relationship decreases the chances of finding a good guy?
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    Ok, so I know I'm older than you and things have changed, but don't you think being in a FWB relationship decreases the chances of finding a good guy?

    I agree. If we stopped the benefits part today I'd be okay with that. But, at the moment, I seriously don't want a man. So, I don't think I'm missing out or wasting time since I'm not ready for all of that again.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
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    It means he wants you to be his booty call and nothing else.

    Well, that's just it. It's not a "booty call". We are actually friends. We hang out and we don't always mess around. That's one reason I'm kind of confused.

    I'm sure the guys will agree-- if it's good, they'll tolerate the other stuff to get it.
  • CCSunlight
    CCSunlight Posts: 249 Member
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    As nice as I'm sure the lovey-dovey parts are, I think you need to tell him to knock it off. It's not fair to you if he's just playing around -- especially as you've discussed before how it makes you confused. He needs to be consistent with you one way or another.
  • Signia
    Signia Posts: 21
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    Just tell him, "I've met somebody."

    Then don't return his texts or calls.

    If he runs into you be happy to see him, yet vague with your answers. Then check your phone, laugh at a "text" then smile, excuse yourself and run off.

    It will drive him NUTS! (No one is pining for him!) You will be officially The One That Got Away!

    Then, around this time next year, start over (if you'd want to). Say, "Mike/Chris was great, but I'm looking for someone better for me."

    I guarantee, there will be a very different story.

    Men are NOT complicated!
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    It means he wants you to be his booty call and nothing else.

    Well, that's just it. It's not a "booty call". We are actually friends. We hang out and we don't always mess around. That's one reason I'm kind of confused.

    I'm sure the guys will agree-- if it's good, they'll tolerate the other stuff to get it.

    That's kind of harsh. I know you're only answering my questions and being honest. I do know we are friends either way. He wouldn't take his time to call and invite me over to just hang out or ask me over for dinner etc if there wasn't a friendship there. So, yeah, we're friends. It's not just toleration.
  • kk0223
    kk0223 Posts: 179
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    Just tell him, "I've met somebody."

    Then don't return his texts or calls.

    If he runs into you be happy to see him, yet vague with your answers. Then check your phone, laugh at a "text" then smile, excuse yourself and run off.

    It will drive him NUTS! (No one is pining for him!) You will be officially The One That Got Away!

    Then, around this time next year, start over (if you'd want to). Say, "Mike/Chris was great, but I'm looking for someone better for me."

    I guarantee, there will be a very different story.

    Men are NOT complicated!

    Lol. Thanks. :) I do wonder how he'd act if he thought I was talking to someone else. :/ Hmm..
  • Signia
    Signia Posts: 21
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    Better yet! Actually meet somebody!

    The real trick is to not answer his calls or texts, smile and be happy when you see him, always be busy, and mention another guy in passing when you do run into him.

    "Jake said..." should do it.

    His imagination will fill in the rest.

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