Biting my tongue at seeing overweight children

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  • stylistchik
    stylistchik Posts: 1,436 Member
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    I saw the beginning of a long journey of self-esteem issues and hurt as they get older and realize how much their size is going to effect them.

    I also hated myself for thinking the thoughts I had. What right do I have to judge them?

    So sad!! While your reaction seems a little extreeme, If you are in the US then your tax $ will likely be paying for the diseases they contract from such an unhealthy diet and lifestyle so you have some right to complain. Being obese is as dangerous as smoking. If you saw smoking parents giving their children cigarettes everyone would say you have the right to complain.

    I agree. I wouldn't say anything to a stranger about how to be a parent by any means but it makes me mad that my tax dollars are being spent creating this
  • katcod1522
    katcod1522 Posts: 448 Member
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    really? tantrums work for me..lol
  • Nattiejean57
    Nattiejean57 Posts: 217 Member
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    ??? Kids that grow to be big (tall and large framed) don't need to be chunky as children. Fat is fat whether it's on a 5' bodyor a 7' body.

    This is probably one of the stupidest things I have read in a long time. My brother who is now 6'4" and a healthy weight used to grow out and then up all the time. He would get a little chunky and then just shoot up. So no not every kid that is tall will be chunky but some are as they grow into their changing bodies
  • mamegoma
    mamegoma Posts: 7
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    Oh, I would totally think it's a form of child abuse. My middle son went through "chunky" stage, but there's a huge difference between chunky children and OBESE children, which the OP observed.

    Sadly, you need a license to, say, drive a car, but any idiot can have a child. And feed it to death if s/he chooses to.
  • lynnmarie60
    lynnmarie60 Posts: 325
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    No right at all. Only the maker himself can judge and although that bothered you, it was in no way shape or form your business.

    Happy Holidays!
  • Gwen7121
    Gwen7121 Posts: 126 Member
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    Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.
    The US needs this, hardcore.
    Really? The slope gets awfully slippery here, folks. Where is the line drawn? Spooky stuff, folks. Spooky.

    Agreed.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
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    Seriously...if Im in Target..and my 6 yr old who is 43lbs wants a donut and it keeps him from screaming for the hour Im in the store...by God..hes getting a stinking donut! lol

    I am the exact opposite... either of my boys start going nuts for something NO CHANCE they get it. No matter what it is!



    I love you for this. I feel like the problem with parents these days is that they just give in for their own convenience. Kids never learn when all you do is reward them for bad behavior. But, to each is own I guess.

    Have you ever taken a 2 year old to the grocery store???? Let alone two 2 year olds when it's close to their nap time and you are running on 5 hours of sleep and have to finish grocery shopping, run to the bank, make your kids lunch and have about 3 loads of laundry to fold and you don't know what to make for dinner?

    I have. Well, one was 2 and one was 3, but other than that I have. And they certainly would not have been rewarded for throwing a tantrum.


    Amen
    i think you are being pretty judgmental. you are judging people by just a few words they wrote. yes, if giving my kid something to get me through whatever it is i'm trying to do, i sometmes do it. its not all the time, and she's not a monster or a brat and she listend very good when she is asked to do something. i'm not being abusive or harming her. maybe its not ideal, but this is life. its no one is perfect, including parents. we do the best we can!

    How is she being judgmental? She just said "this is what I would do." That's not being judgmental, that's having an opinion and priorities.
  • kschhr
    kschhr Posts: 103 Member
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    I work for social services. I agree..slippery slope. The kid that has marks on his body? sure..he can stay with his parents cause his BMI is normal. That kid there? the one loved, read to, bathed every night..but is obese. Take Them Right AWAY! Be smart people.
    Who said that the one being abused wouldn't be taken away? You're adding scenarios that aren't at ALL accurate.
  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.
    The US needs this, hardcore.
    Really? The slope gets awfully slippery here, folks. Where is the line drawn? Spooky stuff, folks. Spooky.

    Agreed.

    and where do they end up... all the kids who are being beaten and abused for real have no where to go....
  • ilikeher
    ilikeher Posts: 78
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    I can't believe how some of these people are reacting to your post. I dont think that you need to see a therapist and although it may be none of your business, I don't think that your thoughts were wrong.
    Maybe no one heard about the little boy who was removed from his parent's custody a few weeks ago because he was so over weight that it was dangerous to his health?
    This is a big issue, especially with girls. I was chubby as a pre-teen and because of that I struggled with an eating disorder and self-esteem issues starting at the age of 8 all the way up until about 19.
    People need to be realistic and stop being so freaking defensive. No it's not our right to tell people how to raise their children and there is nothing wrong with candy or fast food here and there but it is YOUR fault if your child has weight issues if you aren't teaching them how to be healthy starting at a young age
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I have a chunky kid, and if you ever approached me and told me he was fat, I'd kick you right in the pee flaps. He isn't chunky because I feed him terribly, he's chunky because he's going to be huge! His dad is 6'6 with a 52" shoulder spance. My son will grow into his body, hopefully you'll grow out of your prejudice. My son plays football, is in the running club, does karate, and is outside more than he's in the house...I feed him nothing but clean meals and the occasional treat. Unless you know the background of the child, how dare you sit in judgement!

    ??? Kids that grow to be big (tall and large framed) don't need to be chunky as children. Fat is fat whether it's on a 5' bodyor a 7' body.

    LOL Okay, you don't have one Those kids do you! My son has chunked out since he was three-years-old then he would get on a growing spurt and be thin as a rail. Right now he's chunky but starting to grow again. Four inches in the last year and is now taller than me. He'll be about 6'3 or 6'4. He already has more muscle than my ex.

    I don't see how any of that suggests that big and tall men must have been chunky boys, which simply isn't true. They may have been chunky, just as a short man may have been. But it is not a given. Also, since children do not develop muscle in the same manner as adults I'm guess we're talking about a teenager rather than a young child so puberty and hormones could be playing a factor.

    But kudos for feeding your children a healthy diet.
  • bobbyhalifax
    bobbyhalifax Posts: 5 Member
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    I agree with everyone for the most part. Seeing the amount of obesity in children is astounding and it is unfortunate that sometimes there are reasons that are beyond just eating poorly.

    I choose not to open my mouth and judge because I don't know everyone's situation yet I do wish that more parents would take it upon themselves to have healthy diet and exercise routines with their children. I also think it is horrible that so many parents are okay with their kids playing hours of video games and watching tv. I was only allowed to play games or watch tv when homework was done and the weather wasn't conducive to playing outside.

    Just my two cents which doesn't really mean much of anything.
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.
    The US needs this, hardcore.

    :mad: You do not have kids, but you would take away someone's child and put them in the system for being overweight??? Oh dear, have a baby and tell me that you would want this to be able to happen...EVER. :mad:
  • katcod1522
    katcod1522 Posts: 448 Member
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    I was giving an example...of cases that have come thru this office. Social Services is not all chutes and ladders and candyland babydoll.
  • kschhr
    kschhr Posts: 103 Member
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    Oh, I would totally think it's a form of child abuse. My middle son went through "chunky" stage, but there's a huge difference between chunky children and OBESE children, which the OP observed.

    Sadly, you need a license to, say, drive a car, but any idiot can have a child. And feed it to death if s/he chooses to.
    As I was reading this, I got so scared when you said you have a "chunky" child.. I was like oh snap, not another one! Glad to see someone smart enough to know that chunky and obese are completely different.
  • CiciPorcayo
    CiciPorcayo Posts: 381 Member
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    I am a little both sides of the fence on this.....

    I don't think anyone has the right to judge anyone period, because nobody is perfect.. Especially an adult judging a child... However I will say you should maybe look at the parents and just wonder... Why? I know for me I have two children and I do NOT want them to be over weight for many reasons. Some superficial but more enough health reasons! Child diabetes has really doubled if not trippled since from when I was a kid (I don't have any links or proof but I have heard on countless talk shows and news reports etc.) and I just think as parents we should be feeding our kids healthy things, letting them get our and play as much as possible instead of sticking them in front of the tv to watch sponge bob, or play video games and eat a tv dinner because we just don't feel like getting up and cooking them a wholesome meal. Can't say I have never done this before, I have. GUILTY however It is always about progress, and people (parents) need to definetly change how they feed their children and a child should never be OBESE before the age of 12.... After that kids usually do what they want eat and don't eat what they want and all you can do is engrain them with good habits and pray they keep going... I have a friend whos daughter is to me obese and she is not even 3 years old yet. She is a beautiful little girl don't get me wrong. all children to me are beautiful, but she is always red in the face, and mind u (she is a tan baby) and doesn't walk much, and all of her clothes don't fit her properly. I have never really mentioned to my friend how I feel because that is her child and honestly all I can do is worry about my own... but yeah now that I have rambled on for hours.... Just judge what you can control.. and what you can't leave as is... it isn't your place!
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    How many calories are in that tongue you are biting? did you log it?
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
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    we all judge each other whether we admit it or not. good for you for admitting it to yourself. yes, this is unhealthy and definitely overindulgance. and their mother is not saying anything to them. so it probably will continue. i feel sorry for those kids but i guess we can't do anything about it so what can be said... i'm not going to chastize you because i admit i have those thoughts too. but it does sound like they are happy. hopefully they continue being happy and are also able to get healthy at some point too as well as having a good self esteem and image of themselves as teens and adults.

    This^^

    I am a parent....my daughter is built JUST LIKE HER MOTHER! lol
    I love the fact that she naturally likes healthy food. However, she also knows that mommy will not buy her fast food except subway. If she wants a burger, mommy will make her one at home with homemade fries. She's allowed treats, hell I eat treats. I'm teaching her what MY mother didn't teach me and what I struggle with...moderation lol

    Example: last night she wanted a cookie. She was told she had to eat her dinner first (she ate what I ate: rice, broccoli, diced sauteed tofu). She ate dinner and then had her cookie. Little while later she asked for another cookie, I said No, You already had one and you don't need another. Would you like some raisins, a banana or apple? She decided on the snack size box of raisins. I don't force her to eat everything I eat but if she doesn't eat what I make her, then she goes hungry. Simple as that.

    As for the tantrum in the store about the doughnuts...absolutely not....would not happen. I have NEVER and will NEVER allow my daughter to throw a fit like that in public. She tried it a few times as a small child and I would immediately take her to the bathroom or outside. That kid played his parents and they are suckers. I'm the adult, I'm the parent and I REFUSE to cave just to "shut her up" H to the E-L-L NO!
  • seehawkmomma
    seehawkmomma Posts: 815
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    I'm a blunt and straight forward person too, OP, and while I can say I weep for children who's parent obviously don't have the education to feed them right I also feel you are a moron for feeling this way and directing your disgust toward children who know no better.

    Word.
  • eeeekie
    eeeekie Posts: 1,011 Member
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    Here in the UK I'm pretty sure allowing your kids to get obese counts as child abuse and people have had their kids taken away as a result.
    The US needs this, hardcore.

    Because ripping a child from their parents, lives, family, friends, animals, comfort of their own bed...IS EXACTLY what the child needs to get thin/healthy. -eyeroll-

    Why is the first thing people say is TAKE THE KIDS AWAY! It's not the solution and in fact it makes it worse.


    Instead why don't we help the families that don't know how to eat. Teach them, guide them and show them what needs to be done and how to do it. Nutritionists...
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