breastfeeding in public

The first rule of being a parent is FEED THE BABY. Whenever, wherever. My babies have been breastfed in Target, CVS, Harris Teeter, and various restaurants when needed. I did do my best to try and keep covered, mainly b/c my girls are huge when breastfeeding so it's hard to be discreet otherwise. In fact i had people walk up in target and ask if they could see the 'sleeping baby' and then politely declined when I told them baby isnt sleeping, he's nursing. LOL But I don't begrudge the mom that is just doing her best to meet her baby's needs and isn't in a frame of mind to fidget with a blanket or cover. Some babies just rip the cover off anyway so sometimes it's easier to just try and use the shirt as much as possible and other than that just hope anyone who doesn't want to see a half inch of skin is smart enough to look away. You see a lot more skin on most beaches and underwear commercials. When celebrities have a nip-slip it's an event LOL, so sorry but if mine is visible for 2.5 seconds while I adjust myself and my baby, I apologize but it's natural and I promise I wasn't flashing you on purpose. Many times when a mom is nursing in public you won't even realize it unless you are hyper sensitive to it or just know what you're looking for, normally there isn't an off-duty boob hanging out.

Personally I find babies screaming while parents aren't tending to them to be much more bothersome than a little possible side-boob. LOL

Also, in my state there is a law that officially exempts breast exposure during breastfeeding from being considered indecent exposure.

And finally, I also support a parent's right to formula feed in public. LOL. Seriously, if the baby is hungry, feed the baby however you feed them. The baby is more important than the insecurities or opinions of the random strangers in Target that will never see you again.

Coincidentally I am nursing my little guy right now. And I'm in a public forum. LOL

feed in the bathroom.......yeah, I'll feed my baby in the bathroom when you feed your toddler in there! When you flush a toilet all kinds of nastiness flies in the air...you want that all over your boobies for your baby to suck in?

NASTY!

Were the hell are you supposed to feed in the bathroom anyway? On an open toilet? Standing up? On the nasty floor? All sounds like great place for a good letdown yeah!

LOL what kind of bathrooms have you ladies been in?! Maybe I'm sheltered but I know of so many nice bathrooms....they look like they could be a resort. I mean I have been to a random few in a walmart but hey dont get me started in walmart.

I get that breast feeding in a public restroom is gross.....but seriously I mean I lot of restrooms I've been in have like a "lobby" like a different area with the mirrors and such.

But if your at target why not hit up the dressing room?

We don't go nice places often LOL. The times I've normally had to breastfeed at a resturant it's like an Applebees or something. We save the nice places for when we don't have children to inturrupt us. Most public bathrooms I've been in are just the bathroom, with stalls, toilets without tops, and a tile floor. Not necessarily nasty but if still you have feces and stuff shooting up in the air from the toilets. If there was a seperate lobby I'd probably utilize it.

I wouldn't have issues hitting up a dressing room if I didn't have another child with me. I just personally find it easier to nurse in a sling because that's normally where my daughter would be anyway. Most people don't realize I'm nursing to being with unless they're litteraly looking down my shirt.

Well okay I see the point of not wanted to breast feed in a restroom.

I have noticed that women who breast feed in public tend to have another child with them.

I get the point of it, totally, i mean when it was me It was just me and my daughter so maybe thats why it was easier to find somewhere private to do so. If i had a toddler or another child tagging along it would be more difficult.

But what about my needs? It is my own choice! I would prefer to be independent and not have to have a baby constantly sucking on my breasts, have medical problems as a result of breastfeeding like uneven breasts, mastitis, plugged ducts, nipple soreness/cracking, time spent pumping, having embarrassing accidents in public like leaking milk, etc. For me, those negatives outweigh the positives. Also, feeding a baby is an important way for a father to bond with the baby as well, and I wouldn't want to deny my husband that opportunity.

Your needs?? Sorry sweetie, but when you become a parent, your needs take a backseat.

Amen-- sheesh. You know, coupla years ago a friend of mine got in trouble on here for saying, "Please don't breed," to someone-- so I wouldn't dream of it. But man-- the selfishness just gets you. "What about my needs?" Gaaah!!

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

I guess wanting to do anything for yourself makes you selfish.

I am sooooooo selfish, then. LOL But my 3 girls are happy, smart, growing well, no complaints. So I think I'll continue not being a martyr, because my goal is good kids, not impressing self-righteous strangers on the internet.

I understand exactly what your saying. And if that was the case I find that different. Discreetly breast feeding I dont have the issue with. Breast feeding is amazing for children. It helps them grow, makes them smarter(according to research), and etc etc etc. I get breast feeding I did Breast Feed myself however I dont think women HAVE to do so in public. If junior needs to eat and you know you'll be shopping why not do so before hand??

And if they were so modest and discreet I really dont think there would be anyone against it.

Have you, personally, ever seen a breastfeeding woman with her boobs in public just hanging out all over the place?

I'm 35 years old, have witnessed probably a hundred or more women breastfeeding in public and not once have I actually seen even a millimeter of breast on any one of them.

Yes, I have. More than once.

I'm sorry, but I have to call bull *kitten* on this. You are 10 years my junior, and I am a BF mom who has gone out in groups of other BF moms; I teach a BF class for WIC and have mom groups through WIC, and I have never even seen a mom just "flop it all out" there for all to see...

yeah. I just have to call bull *kitten*. sorry. Most moms are freaking terrified to even try to nurse in public because of moronic views like the ones you've read here... and you're saying that you just see people all over the place whipping them out there.... give me a break.

I've totally seen full boob in public from a nursing mother. I was about 5 or 6 years old and I'm pretty sure it was the ONLY time I've seen a woman feed in public (though I know my mom did it). I'm not against feeding in public, but I have very strong memories of being surprised by this woman whipping out her boob to feed a child that was about 2, which is older than average for breast feeding. It was very shocking, though I don't think it ruined me for anything.

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't think a person should sit down in an aisle for safety reasons and it's unfortunate the mother chose such a spot, ........

If she wasn't on the floor in a Target, I'd really agree with you guys. I mean, I'm shopping for clothes, and you're sitting on the floor there in the section? How can that be appropriate? I would never have said anything to the mother, but believe me, I would be confused, at best.
Also, just... you can't tell me that a bathroom is too dirty, so you need to be on the floor.


Maybe it's because I have BF in public approximately 800 times, in restaraunts, malls, zoos and the like all over the midwest, and no one has ever said anything but "oh, so sweet!" to me... And the women I've known who have people take issue with them are the ones who do things like sit on the floor in a Target, essentially daring someone to make it a news story.

These types of things have to be handled delicately. If a woman wants to show a little more than is necessary, yeah, probably looking to make a point, but most women don't do that and if there's some flash of nipple because the baby gets distracted and moves its head away or something (or as was mentioned if a mom is at the beach and wearing only a bathing suit - situations like that), people really need to get over it. The small number who might make a scene shouldn't be public breastfeeding opponents' focus, but they always will be. And in a situation like this, an employee isn't always going to say the right thing, just not possible, but had the mom been asked to move because it's an issue of safety, she really couldn't have made a logical argument to that. Asking her to go to a dressing room is violating the law and opening the door for such protests.

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't think a person should sit down in an aisle for safety reasons and it's unfortunate the mother chose such a spot, ........

If she wasn't on the floor in a Target, I'd really agree with you guys. I mean, I'm shopping for clothes, and you're sitting on the floor there in the section? How can that be appropriate? I would never have said anything to the mother, but believe me, I would be confused, at best.
Also, just... you can't tell me that a bathroom is too dirty, so you need to be on the floor.


Maybe it's because I have BF in public approximately 800 times, in restaraunts, malls, zoos and the like all over the midwest, and no one has ever said anything but "oh, so sweet!" to me... And the women I've known who have people take issue with them are the ones who do things like sit on the floor in a Target, essentially daring someone to make it a news story.

These types of things have to be handled delicately. If a woman wants to show a little more than is necessary, yeah, probably looking to make a point, but most women don't do that and if there's some flash of nipple because the baby gets distracted and moves its head away or something (or as was mentioned if a mom is at the beach and wearing only a bathing suit - situations like that), people really need to get over it. The small number who might make a scene shouldn't be public breastfeeding opponents' focus, but they always will be. And in a situation like this, an employee isn't always going to say the right thing, just not possible, but had the mom been asked to move because it's an issue of safety, she really couldn't have made a logical argument to that. Asking her to go to a dressing room is violating the law and opening the door for such protests.

Wouldn't it be more comfortable for the woman to breastfeed in private, where she get close with the baby? Instead of in front of people? That's my whole thing about this. Isn't it more comfortable for everyone to do it in private?

No. For one thing, as has been said over and over in this thread, if you are out with your baby it is not always possible to find a private place even if you wanted one and a mom shouldn't have to be a shut-in. And second, lots and lots, and lots and lots, of people aren't bothered by public breastfeeding. So it's absolutely not more comfortable for everyone, only for some who have issues being the nursing moms in public because they are embarrassed/feel it is a private "function" that they don't want others to see or for those who attach weird attitudes to seeing a woman breastfeed. It is simply not more comfortable for everyone. And how does being in public keep you from being close with your baby?

I agree with you about toilets. What stemmed this wasn't about a restroom, though, it was a mom not wanting to go to a changing room, and instead wanting to sit on the floor in the aisle at Target, nursing. I don't think you should have to hide, but I don't think it does anyone any good to plop down on the floor of Target to nurse. What's the point? Well, the point is to be the catalyst to a media story, that's what.

I guess that's what bothers me about "Lactivism." You want to be able to find a comfortable spot to discreetly nurse? I totally defend that. As a mom of 3, I've done that myself a million times (& I've literally never once had someone look at me crossways, frankly BECAUSE I was discreet). But you want to stop in the middle of Target, sit on the floor, and make sure everyone damn well knows your nursing now? WHY?

Sorry, I didn't BF my babies to make a political statement. And I don't think the FLOOR at Target is so much cleaner than a restroom, so I'm not buying that line, anyway.

I think how a Lactivist thinks is that it should be offered and not forced for a more private area. I'm not one to say where a mother will be most comfortable as comfort is important for let down. Perhaps the mother declined to move because her child was already latched on? The story says she was also covered with a blanket and then harrassed after she chose not to go into the dressing room. I'm not sure of her reasons and I personally wouldn't sit on a floor to nurse but if someone chose to do so it's their perogative and is protected by law. No one should harass someone for feeding their kid covered or not.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I don't think a person should sit down in an aisle for safety reasons and it's unfortunate the mother chose such a spot, ........

If she wasn't on the floor in a Target, I'd really agree with you guys. I mean, I'm shopping for clothes, and you're sitting on the floor there in the section? How can that be appropriate? I would never have said anything to the mother, but believe me, I would be confused, at best.
Also, just... you can't tell me that a bathroom is too dirty, so you need to be on the floor.


Maybe it's because I have BF in public approximately 800 times, in restaraunts, malls, zoos and the like all over the midwest, and no one has ever said anything but "oh, so sweet!" to me... And the women I've known who have people take issue with them are the ones who do things like sit on the floor in a Target, essentially daring someone to make it a news story.

These types of things have to be handled delicately. If a woman wants to show a little more than is necessary, yeah, probably looking to make a point, but most women don't do that and if there's some flash of nipple because the baby gets distracted and moves its head away or something (or as was mentioned if a mom is at the beach and wearing only a bathing suit - situations like that), people really need to get over it. The small number who might make a scene shouldn't be public breastfeeding opponents' focus, but they always will be. And in a situation like this, an employee isn't always going to say the right thing, just not possible, but had the mom been asked to move because it's an issue of safety, she really couldn't have made a logical argument to that. Asking her to go to a dressing room is violating the law and opening the door for such protests.

Wouldn't it be more comfortable for the woman to breastfeed in private, where she get close with the baby? Instead of in front of people? That's my whole thing about this. Isn't it more comfortable for everyone to do it in private?
If I breastfed, which I don't and won't, and I was doing it somewhere in the store, and a cashier came up to me and said, "would you like to move to our break room/our breastfeeding room/our family bathroom/a private office" I would definitely take the offer. I'm sure no breastfeeding mother likes to do it in public, but it is their only choice, so if you were offered a private place, why wouldn't you take the person up on the offer? Instead everyone gets offended. The store is doing it for your comfort, and the comfort of others.

OMG every body gets offended, only narrow minded people get offended. We get your not going to breast feed horray for you....

the only reason I could think of for her NOT to go to a private area would be to cause a scene. A brand new mom is certainly not going to turn down privacy...a mom who has breastfed a million times MIGHT turn down privacy if she was concened about disturbing the baby by having to move BUT a mom that has breastfed a million times is also a pro at doing things quickly OR in a manner in which not to disturb the baby!
It's called the football hold as you run around chasing a toddler while still feeding and it can be done pretty un-noticeably if so desired!
In this case too many women have ruined public breastfeeding for the average woman that does it tactfully.
It is sad that manners just really don't matter to some people.

the only reason I could think of for her NOT to go to a private area would be to cause a scene. A brand new mom is certainly not going to turn down privacy...a mom who has breastfed a million times MIGHT turn down privacy if she was concened about disturbing the baby by having to move BUT a mom that has breastfed a million times is also a pro at doing things quickly OR in a manner in which not to disturb the baby!
It's called the football hold as you run around chasing a toddler while still feeding and it can be done pretty un-noticeably if so desired!
In this case too many women have ruined public breastfeeding for the average woman that does it tactfully.
It is sad that manners just really don't matter to some people.

I think some people just have different definitions of "manners". I've seen a woman in a water park nursing her baby outside the pool while her other kids were playing in the water. I also overheard someone walk past and say to someone else "Someone should tell her to go to the locker room to do that." Why? Then she'd have to take her other kids out of the water park and make them sit in the locker room too which, of course, would upset someone as one of her kids was about a 6yo boy.

Incidentally, the woman complaining about the mother was wearing a thong bathing suit. Oh the irony!!

It's pretty easy to up and move to a private location if you have no other kids and nothing in your cart that needs to be refridgerated or frozen nd have plenty of time. But throw in another child or 2, a schedule where you are running behind, and a cart with ice cream and milk in it and I'd be nursing while shopping and anyone who thought it was bad manners could just go look in a mirror. It's bad manners to stare. It's bad manners to look scornfully at someone. It's bad manners to not give somone the benefit of the doubt that maybe they don't really have another option.