Negative Reinforcement (Don't Read If You Cant Take It)

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Replies

  • slayerdan
    slayerdan Posts: 193
    I actually thinkthe word obese is worse than fat.

    My only contention here is that in truth, everyone is fat. So your label is not totally accurate.

    Technically, you are fatter, or more fat heavy, than others.And maybe less than others still.

    Either way, it should be fatter, or "with more fat".


    D
  • sixfootaliw
    sixfootaliw Posts: 62
    I'm fat!

    I've kidded myself for a couple of years, but there is no escaping it; I am fat.

    It is only now that I have admitted that to myself that I am finding the will power to do something about it. It doesn't matter what other people call me, I know what I am and I am dealing with it!
  • sinobaako82
    sinobaako82 Posts: 43 Member
    So true.. I used to cry a lot when people say I'm fat.. But my mom always told me I was okay, I looked pretty and stuff up until I decided to lose weight. Then I look at my pictures now and I always ask my mom "why did you say I looked okay, that I wasn't fat?". It actually hurts more to know that people were just telling you you're fine just so they won't hurt your feelings. Instead of getting offended, we should be doing jumping jacks and stop sitting and eating potato chips.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    Fat people are funny.
  • bbhartsu315
    bbhartsu315 Posts: 21
    I'm fat.... alot of the time other people didn't call me fat cause I did it first... I guess I beat them to the punch they may or may not have taken.... and when I lose my goal... I'll still be that fat person. I'll just do a better job of keeping the weight down (hopefully)
  • hojo94
    hojo94 Posts: 140 Member
    I love this! When I finally admitted to ME, that I was fat... it was when the changes started! OWN IT.
  • phantomthen
    phantomthen Posts: 2
    I'm fat!

    I've kidded myself for a couple of years, but there is no escaping it; I am fat.

    It is only now that I have admitted that to myself that I am finding the will power to do something about it. It doesn't matter what other people call me, I know what I am and I am dealing with it!

    so true :)
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    It actually hurts more to know that people were just telling you you're fine just so they won't hurt your feelings. Instead of getting offended, we should be doing jumping jacks and stop sitting and eating potato chips.
    And that's exactly the sort of positive attitude that means one day in the near future, you'll be able to say "Oh yes, believe it or not, I used to be fat!" :smile:
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    This is great! I'm going to help every fat person I see from now on by calling them fat! And if they say "What?" I'll say "You are welcome!" :drinker:
  • debswebby
    debswebby Posts: 326
    Yep I am FAT. There's no getting round it, I am Fat. Fact! Its not a dirty word. Stop trying to be nice and sensitive, say what you mean. I go into shops and I proudly ask where the fat section is. Not the plus size section. Not the outsize section. The fat section. I am fat. Sorry if it offends the slim people but I am so there :happy:
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
    So in my experience on the forums and with friends lists there seems to be a general idea that us fat people tend to get offended when we are called fat.

    I learned something a while ago.

    I use to get offended when people called me fat, you know it hurt deeply *right here* points to heart -. Then I came to a realization; I was and still am fat.

    Guess what ? I am not big boned, I am not husky, fluffy, overweight, obese, metabolically challenged, horizontally challenged, chubby, chunky, corpulent, generously proportioned, hefty, gravitationally challenged, oversized, stout, stocky or Plus Sized... I am FAT ... Capital F, A ,T - FAT

    While some of the above are more or less entertainment but many of the above are used to disguise, to desensitize and to avoid the big F word.

    When I accepted that word, I did something about it. No I am not done, I am still fat, but at least now I don't have some misguided sense of delusion that the world made me obese, no I made me FAT.

    So, what are you going to do about it ? Are you fat ?
    I was fat, I didn't do anything about it until I realized I was fat. Once people get off their pitty party get serious and do something about it they won't be fat either. It all comes down to the individual either you'll change your ways or you won't.
  • mnishi
    mnishi Posts: 419 Member
    Fatty here, but I'm working on it.

    (that's kind of therapeutic)
  • pkdreilly
    pkdreilly Posts: 13
    This is great! I'm going to help every fat person I see from now on by calling them fat! And if they say "What?" I'll say "You are welcome!" :drinker:

    Haha Love this......not sure you will be met with as much honesty as on this post lol!!! :)
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
    My wife cringes every time I say the word.... well in the beginning now I think I have desensitized her to it. I mean, she was treating it like it was a cuss word...
  • SabrinaJL
    SabrinaJL Posts: 1,579 Member
    This is great! I'm going to help every fat person I see from now on by calling them fat! And if they say "What?" I'll say "You are welcome!" :drinker:

    Dude, that made me lol. Fer realz.
  • mauryr
    mauryr Posts: 385
    This kinda relates to how children are treated these days, with making sure their "self esteem isn't damaged". This manifests in things like giving trophies to every kid on every little league team, even the last place one, or "social promotion" even if a kid hasn't learned the things they need to, in order to be ready for the next grade.

    How can someone improve, without accurate feedback? Especially from those we trust - such as parents, teachers and in the case of adults, spouses, sig-others, and close friends? In this case, why would someone want to lose weight if they don't think they're actually fat - because those who are closest to them are "nice" to them, and won't lovingly tell the truth? This creates a "reality distortion field".

    The way to self-actualize is to have an _accurate_ self image. No-one is great at everything, we can all improve. Acknowledging your faults is the only way to overcome them - as uncomfortable as that might be sometimes.
  • MsPinVa
    MsPinVa Posts: 29 Member
    overweight = fat
    obese = fatter
    morbid obese = fattest

    I have been all of them, and I accept what I am, and what I was. Admitting and recognizing your problem is half the battle. :)

    Yes, it is harsh. But I'm my own worse critic. When that BMI gets "normal" I will stop calling myself "Fat", possibly "Unfit"
  • pupcamper
    pupcamper Posts: 410 Member
    I'm fat, I've been fat for a while but hopefully not for long and never again! :drinker:
  • rhce40
    rhce40 Posts: 201 Member
    amen.....
    i more get mad/upset/uncomfortable when my smaller/normal weight friends call themselves fat
  • elliejmoore
    elliejmoore Posts: 35 Member
    I've realised over the years ive been poking fun at my weight first, even if nothing has been said. I kinda figure if i get in first, then i still have control. Most recent example is wen i joined the gym last week. The personal trainer said - 'so, are u currently the member of a gym elsewhere?'. I laughed and said, do i look like i go to a gym with a body like this? He laughed nervously, i felt better.
  • secrets_out
    secrets_out Posts: 684 Member
    I am fat and I realize that everytime i see myself...but it does hurt to hear it :(
  • RoxRae
    RoxRae Posts: 60
    I am still fat, but at least now I don't have some misguided sense of delusion that the world made me obese, no I made me FAT.

    By far one of the most awesome sentences I have ever read

    Well said! I agree totally. I know I'm fat. I am sick and tired of it so I am changing me. I'm changing the way *I* eat. McDonald's didn't make me fat. Ice Cream didn't make me fat. I MADE ME FAT BY EATING ALL THAT JUNK. And eating wayyyyyyy too much of it. When I complete this journey, *I* will be thin and healthy because *I* did it. I made the change and accomplished a goal.
  • Deirdre_R
    Deirdre_R Posts: 54 Member
    Yup I'm fat, and obese, and I don't pretend I'm not, and when I was morbidly obese I said that out loud too.

    Great topic. Thanks for posting.
  • breakingthecycle
    breakingthecycle Posts: 225 Member
    Im fat and my kids get annoyed when I say that I am. I dont care. Its the only way that I can convince myself that the way that I have treated my body up until now has been awful.

    As long as I thought it was ok to describe myself as 'big-boned', 'thick', 'voluptous', 'curvy' etc that it was ok to be this size. Nope IM FAT and I own it.

    Now I just have to get busy and work this thickness off. ~~tee hee....
  • elliejmoore
    elliejmoore Posts: 35 Member
    Oh, and commenting on a previous comment by another member - it really hacks me off tho wen shopping with a friend and we're looking at sizes she says 'Oh, theres only really small sizes and really big sizes'. Does she not realise the 'really big size' is my size and for gods sake - its only a UK 16!!! it hurts still, however many times i hear it......
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    While I think negative reinforcement and tough love can definitely motivate some people, it can also be counterproductive to others. Use it on yourself if it works, and use it on others who are okay with it, but please don't assume that everyone will respond the same way to these tools.

    Yep.

    PS I'm actually no longer fat, overweight, whatever you want to call it. Now some people call me skinny. Hmmm....
  • kme2011
    kme2011 Posts: 100 Member
    I'm working on changing the way i look and the way i feel. Yes i'm FAT! and i realized that when i could no longer wear my "fat jeans". so i'm changing it. but until i look the way i want to the "skinny people" who call me fat can kiss my BIG white A**. that's my opinion on it. lol
  • electricstorm
    electricstorm Posts: 20 Member
    I've realised over the years ive been poking fun at my weight first, even if nothing has been said. I kinda figure if i get in first, then i still have control. Most recent example is wen i joined the gym last week. The personal trainer said - 'so, are u currently the member of a gym elsewhere?'. I laughed and said, do i look like i go to a gym with a body like this? He laughed nervously, i felt better.

    Feel like I am stalking you today but this is so me!!

    I can call myself fat, take the mick out of myself but get very upset if anyone calls me fat.
  • yuckidah
    yuckidah Posts: 290 Member
    I'm fat, and I HATE it.
    It makes me someone I'm not - anti-social, reclusive, boring & sad.
    Totally my own fault too.
    Hopefully that'll change this year with the help of MFP :smile:
  • jerber160
    jerber160 Posts: 2,607 Member
    just remembered a friend I had in high school. He was a wrestler, in shape... good looking but like most wrestlers wanted to wrestle the weight class down. he had a note taped to his mirror that said "your fat." I NEVER had the nerve to correct his spelling. wonder how he is today! ( and yes,,, I'm sure he meant 'you're.')
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