Husband left me because of weight. NEW motivation.

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Replies

  • thelovelyLIZ
    thelovelyLIZ Posts: 1,227 Member
    What a douche. You're better without him, and then when you do lose the weight, he'll be sorry. He'll still be a douche though. Your weight or anything else doesn't give him right to treat you the way he did.
  • dalgal26
    dalgal26 Posts: 781 Member
    Well, you lost the best 175ish? pounds when he walked out the door. Now, just take care of yourself. Don't look back! Good luck to you in your journey! You Can Do This! :)
  • orting514
    orting514 Posts: 153
    Good riddence to him, you deserve alot better, sounds like he wants a trophy wife, youve lost a ton of weight, i envie you!
  • Men! ARGH! My ex husband took a video of me walking in front of him, then showed it to me and said 'And you wonder why I don't find you attractive?' referring to my bum. He's now with a stick 10 years younger than us.

    OMG, what a *kitten*! Ah, men.... :/ You can't live with them.
  • eg140
    eg140 Posts: 8
    And you are only 20, you got a good example of what you do not want in your next boy friend/husband. Their are a lot of better fish in the sea.
  • alliecore
    alliecore Posts: 446 Member
    Your weight wasn't the problem. He needed an excuse and your weight was what he used. Apparently, you didn't choose a good person and I'm sorry for you for that. I'm not sorry you've decided to take control of your life and lose your weight but do it for YOU! not anyone else. Get healthy, & live longer with a partner that truly loves you.

    ^^^^^This! He is an jerk and he doesn't deserve you! He was looking for excuses to leave and he was just trying to hurt you in the process. My ex did the same, except the opposite extreme...I didn't have high enough body fat to suit him and he said nasty things about my body too. Trust me chica, being single is MUCH better than being with someone who doesn't love and appreciate you for who you are on the inside! You'll reach your goals and he'll be left wishing he hadn't been such a shallow a*s**le!!!!!! (((hugs)))
  • natali_sh92
    natali_sh92 Posts: 37 Member
    OMG WHAT A D**K!!! I cant believe this! Just reading it makes me angry! It doesn't matter how much you weigh, he should be supporting you and loving you no matter what! The fact that he called u fat, but especially the fact that he cheated on u means he is totally not worth it! you are better off without him! and hopefully you can show him, when you are thin and he's fat at his sisters wedding! You can do this! Add me, I can't wait for you to tell me all about his face when he sees u in september!
  • tritta01
    tritta01 Posts: 311
    Seems like he was just using any excuse to cover up for his cheating.. your young, beautiful and you only deserve the best... he didnt want to give that to you... do it for yourself and just prove you dont need his insults anymore. You can find someone who will support you for you 110%. Best of luck to you on this journey its a very supportive community here on MFP!
  • There is NO justification for cheating on you, no matter what. If he's a man who cheated, then he's an *kitten* who left you because of his own issues, and not because of anything to do with your weight. He's just trying to blame your weight so he can feel better about doing something he knows he shouldn't have done.

    Please don't let him dictate how you feel about yourself. You didn't deserve this, and it's not justified in any way just because you were overweight. Lose the weight and get in shape because it's good for YOU, and consider seeing a counselor to help you with self-confidence and self-esteem issues, which anyone who's been treated the way you have would be having some problems with. You need to learn to believe in your heart that you deserve better treatment no matter what your weight is, BECAUSE YOU DO.

    Naomi
  • fudgebudget
    fudgebudget Posts: 198 Member
    He didn't leave you because of your weight. He left you because he's an a**. You haven't lost 20 pounds, you've lost 20 pounds plus however much he weighs. Congrats - you've lost about 200 pounds! That has to feel like a relief :)
  • missmelly123
    missmelly123 Posts: 4 Member
    You go girl! i know what it's like to be married to a military man. it's not easy since they are so in shape. we just had a baby and throughout my pregnancy my husband asked me if the weight i was gaining would go away or not...i told him no cuz i didn't wanna feel insecure if i didn't lose it right away...and sure enough i lost half of it but i'm still over what i wanna be by a significant amount. i just started on here and it's helping i lost 4 lbs so far. i asked him if he was happy for me and he said "well i'll be happy when your under 200 lbs. *rolls eyes* at this point i'm doing it for myself. i don't wanna be insecure anymore.
  • maureenB7
    maureenB7 Posts: 55 Member
    You have lost the most weight, the big jerk that treated you badly! The weight that was dragging you down. I know exactly how it feels when a man dumps you because of your weight. Lose the weight for you and no one else! Lose it to get healthy and be happy with yourself! You are young and beautiful, another man will see your beauty inside and out no matter how much you weigh. :smile:
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    I dont mean to talk bad about your husband, but THATS NOT LOVE! Love is not cheating on your wife, love is not degrading your wife, and love is not abandoning your wife in a time of need. My husband met me at a slim weight, now I am about 60 pounds heavier. He tells me daily how beautiful I am, he tells me how awesome i look (even tho i know I dont)... Thats love! Fat or thin, your husband should love you! Loose the weight, but do it for you! Not to try to get him back, or make him want you back... Loose it to be happy, to feel good, and then find someone who LOVES YOU! LOVES YOUR FACE, YOUR BRAIN, YOUR HEART, AND YOUR BODY, NO MATTER WHAT! Good luck to you!!! You deserve way better!!!
  • when you reach your goal and I feel your strong and you will! Please, please do not gine him the time of day, he will want you back!
  • Carolina_Skys
    Carolina_Skys Posts: 21 Member
    Consider it weight already lost!! You will get through this.Positive thinking!!!Good luck on your journey.
  • SaraTN
    SaraTN Posts: 536 Member
    Good riddance! He was using your insecurity and weight issue as his excuse for bad behavior. I am sorry to hear you have to go through it and experience the pain but in my humble opinion you are far better off without someone who is verbally and emotionally abusive. He probably hates himself so he took it out on you.

    You are doing the right thing for the right person... YOU. There have been times in my life when I have been disappointed and hurt by people but just when you least expect it, around the next corner, is something amazing you could have never imagined. Persevere. There will be ups and downs along the way -- as they say, it is a journey.
  • TammyLynne71
    TammyLynne71 Posts: 184 Member
    it sounds like you lost a great deal of unhealthy weight when he left.
  • adreal
    adreal Posts: 229 Member
    Sorry you went through that sweetie!! There are a plenty of other fish in the sea that will love you for who you are. Not what you weigh. I was married to jerk who was the same way. Very emotionally abusive and he ended up cheating on me too. Left him and found a really great guy who loves me for me. NOT what i weigh. He is behind me every step of the way! If you need encouragement throughout this process this is the best place to get it! We are here behind you! If you need to talk about anything add me as a friend! I would love to help encourage you!:happy:
  • Mocha02
    Mocha02 Posts: 96
    Good riddens to the @sswhole. Lose the weight. Then go to the wedding in someone else's arms!!! BOOM!
  • lauraallover
    lauraallover Posts: 28 Member
    Wow guys. I honestly left for an hour and came back to SO much love and motivation. I love this place. I'm definitely losing the weight for me, and for my own health. The plus is just seeing his face when I'm do much skinnier! His family and I are extremely close (particularly his sister) so being with his family is not weird. Unfortunately my ex is an abusive man, but I know I don't deserve that. I was a good wife, I had a job, I cooked and cleaner, I listened, I understood... But after all this, the bar has been raised for
    Me. I feel like I deserve a lot better. I'm eventually hoping to move back to the UK and maybe between now and then I'll find someone who WILL love me for the chubby OR skinny girl I am! I'm trying to keep my head out. Like others have said... He did me a HUGE favor by walking away.
  • LisaRN9
    LisaRN9 Posts: 75 Member
    I weighed 116 lbs when I met my husband. After pregnancies my body changed and my metabolism really changed and I have had a weight problem ever since. My husband has loved me and been complimentary of my body at all weights. Even now at my highest weight in the 200's. He'll say "i love your small waist" or some sweet comment that tells me he sees "me" through love goggles..I guess what I am trying to say is that a truly worthy male will see and love the inner you not your shell. You are 20 years old and have your whole life ahead of you. Someday you will see that he was emotionally abusing you. I hope you meet someone who will love and cherish and support you no matter what you look like on the outside! In the meantime...love yourself and appreciate your self no matter how much you weigh.
  • Mommy2boys1girl
    Mommy2boys1girl Posts: 33 Member
    Sweetheart...your ex husband did not leave you or cheat on you because you gained weight. He was a jerk, to put it nicely, before you, or your weight, ever came into the picture. You deserve a man who will love you no matter what. That is what a husband, lover and best friend is supposed to be. I am lucky and have found one of those special men. You can do this! And like everyone has said...do it for YOU! Feel free to friend me if looking for support. I have a lot more than you to lose! Chin up girlie...jaws will be dropping in your future!
  • I only have 2 words for you, but they are VERY powerful... Good Ridance!
  • Abby2810
    Abby2810 Posts: 23 Member
    xxxx
  • ladyshellbelle
    ladyshellbelle Posts: 98 Member
    hey you may have some weight to lose but you have a gorgeous face and personality... I dont know about you but I can make myself feel sh..t without someone else doing it too ... his loss.. your experience... move on and just be glad you have open the door to sooooooo much.. new job..friends..and a great life... go girl :)
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I haven't read all of this thread, but to the OP. He didn't cheat on you, nor leave you, because of your weight. You were already 200 lbs when he married you. He did those things because he is a manipulative scumbag. It is no reflection on you.



    Good for you for finding inspiration, though! Here's to a healthier and happier you in the coming year.
  • michelledyan
    michelledyan Posts: 98 Member
    I know what you mean!

    I had a boyfriend that told me that he didn't like big women - duh, I wasn't petite when I met him! The best thing to do is to get rid of someone who is toxic.

    Even though a boyfriend wasn't as difficult to get rid of as your ex, it still hurt when he said mean things to me. Actually, he left a letter for me on the kitchen table. Too big of a wuss to tell me himself!
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member

    OMG, what a *kitten*! Ah, men.... :/ You can't live with them.

    I'm fully housetrained, you know.

    Life goes on - be glad it happened you're young and in the perfect stage of your life to find someone who truly treasures you.
  • SlinkyNewMe
    SlinkyNewMe Posts: 213 Member
    You are young and beautiful. One day you will realise that he wasn't right for you and that losing him was probably the best thing that could have happened to you. He probably would have treated you just as badly had you been thin. But right now is what counts, and believe me things will get better. You are very brave for posting your story - so stay strong and you will get what you want and deserve.
  • sugarnspice0613
    sugarnspice0613 Posts: 109 Member
    I completely understand what you are going through and sympathize with you. I am an ex military wife, and I believe the military in general breeds this attitude of cheating and berating. It steals emotions and sensitivity. Attitudes like "what goes on during TDY, stays on TDY" encourages cheating. I live by a large army post here in Oklahoma and have met only a handful of soldiers who haven't cheated. I have even dated a guy who told me his fiance had died in a car wreck years ago and surprise! His fiance--now his wife--call me and ask me who I am. I've also noticed young soldiers seem to crave their buddies approval when it comes to women. When I was going through my divorce, I called my ex and his friend answered and proceeded to tell me I was so fat I should kill myself. They are downright cruel and treat it as a game. Instead of loving and supporting, they become embarrassed because of their friends. It is a story I hear over and over again.
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