Husband left me because of weight. NEW motivation.

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  • LisaRN9
    LisaRN9 Posts: 75 Member
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    I weighed 116 lbs when I met my husband. After pregnancies my body changed and my metabolism really changed and I have had a weight problem ever since. My husband has loved me and been complimentary of my body at all weights. Even now at my highest weight in the 200's. He'll say "i love your small waist" or some sweet comment that tells me he sees "me" through love goggles..I guess what I am trying to say is that a truly worthy male will see and love the inner you not your shell. You are 20 years old and have your whole life ahead of you. Someday you will see that he was emotionally abusing you. I hope you meet someone who will love and cherish and support you no matter what you look like on the outside! In the meantime...love yourself and appreciate your self no matter how much you weigh.
  • Mommy2boys1girl
    Mommy2boys1girl Posts: 33 Member
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    Sweetheart...your ex husband did not leave you or cheat on you because you gained weight. He was a jerk, to put it nicely, before you, or your weight, ever came into the picture. You deserve a man who will love you no matter what. That is what a husband, lover and best friend is supposed to be. I am lucky and have found one of those special men. You can do this! And like everyone has said...do it for YOU! Feel free to friend me if looking for support. I have a lot more than you to lose! Chin up girlie...jaws will be dropping in your future!
  • shabounds
    shabounds Posts: 47
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    I only have 2 words for you, but they are VERY powerful... Good Ridance!
  • Abby2810
    Abby2810 Posts: 23 Member
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    xxxx
  • ladyshellbelle
    ladyshellbelle Posts: 98 Member
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    hey you may have some weight to lose but you have a gorgeous face and personality... I dont know about you but I can make myself feel sh..t without someone else doing it too ... his loss.. your experience... move on and just be glad you have open the door to sooooooo much.. new job..friends..and a great life... go girl :)
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,311 Member
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    I haven't read all of this thread, but to the OP. He didn't cheat on you, nor leave you, because of your weight. You were already 200 lbs when he married you. He did those things because he is a manipulative scumbag. It is no reflection on you.



    Good for you for finding inspiration, though! Here's to a healthier and happier you in the coming year.
  • michelledyan
    michelledyan Posts: 98 Member
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    I know what you mean!

    I had a boyfriend that told me that he didn't like big women - duh, I wasn't petite when I met him! The best thing to do is to get rid of someone who is toxic.

    Even though a boyfriend wasn't as difficult to get rid of as your ex, it still hurt when he said mean things to me. Actually, he left a letter for me on the kitchen table. Too big of a wuss to tell me himself!
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    OMG, what a *kitten*! Ah, men.... :/ You can't live with them.

    I'm fully housetrained, you know.

    Life goes on - be glad it happened you're young and in the perfect stage of your life to find someone who truly treasures you.
  • SlinkyNewMe
    SlinkyNewMe Posts: 213 Member
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    You are young and beautiful. One day you will realise that he wasn't right for you and that losing him was probably the best thing that could have happened to you. He probably would have treated you just as badly had you been thin. But right now is what counts, and believe me things will get better. You are very brave for posting your story - so stay strong and you will get what you want and deserve.
  • sugarnspice0613
    sugarnspice0613 Posts: 109 Member
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    I completely understand what you are going through and sympathize with you. I am an ex military wife, and I believe the military in general breeds this attitude of cheating and berating. It steals emotions and sensitivity. Attitudes like "what goes on during TDY, stays on TDY" encourages cheating. I live by a large army post here in Oklahoma and have met only a handful of soldiers who haven't cheated. I have even dated a guy who told me his fiance had died in a car wreck years ago and surprise! His fiance--now his wife--call me and ask me who I am. I've also noticed young soldiers seem to crave their buddies approval when it comes to women. When I was going through my divorce, I called my ex and his friend answered and proceeded to tell me I was so fat I should kill myself. They are downright cruel and treat it as a game. Instead of loving and supporting, they become embarrassed because of their friends. It is a story I hear over and over again.
  • kimsciolino
    kimsciolino Posts: 240 Member
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    You cannot let him upset you, he sounds like he did not want to be in a relationship and just used your weight as an excuse. But it is great that you are wanting to lose some weight and get in shape. You need to do this for YOU and not anyone else (it will be a great feeling at the wedding when you see him and your lose weight and are all done up). You can do this just stay motivated keep logging and don't stop moving. I have to lose approx. 45lbs by next may, cause I am in a wedding. I am the oldest person standing up so I told myself I am not going to be the odest and heavyest, LOL.
    I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope you do not let your past weigh on your heart. That chapter of your life is over, you are young and beautiful....
    Take Care,
    Kim
  • Nopedotjpeg
    Nopedotjpeg Posts: 1,806 Member
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    No longer being attracted is one thing. Being a tool about it is another. Also, would smang.
  • JennW130
    JennW130 Posts: 460 Member
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    I completely understand what you are going through and sympathize with you. I am an ex military wife, and I believe the military in general breeds this attitude of cheating and berating. It steals emotions and sensitivity. Attitudes like "what goes on during TDY, stays on TDY" encourages cheating. I live by a large army post here in Oklahoma and have met only a handful of soldiers who haven't cheated. I have even dated a guy who told me his fiance had died in a car wreck years ago and surprise! His fiance--now his wife--call me and ask me who I am. I've also noticed young soldiers seem to crave their buddies approval when it comes to women. When I was going through my divorce, I called my ex and his friend answered and proceeded to tell me I was so fat I should kill myself. They are downright cruel and treat it as a game. Instead of loving and supporting, they become embarrassed because of their friends. It is a story I hear over and over again.

    Sounds like your surrounding yourself with the wrong people. I know it goes on. Not everyone is like that though. Cheating goes on in the civilian world just as much as in the military. Last unit my husband was with was all about family. They also did marriage retreats every 6 months.
  • CouchSpud
    CouchSpud Posts: 557 Member
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    Sounds like your surrounding yourself with the wrong people. I know it goes on. Not everyone is like that though. Cheating goes on in the civilian world just as much as in the military. Last unit my husband was with was all about family. They also did marriage retreats every 6 months.

    This ^^

    As for the OP, good riddance and hey, you are only 20... there is so much more to come for you ^^. Keep going gal... and hey come back to the UK ^^ I swear the weather alone will make you burn more calories
  • tsimmsva
    tsimmsva Posts: 49
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    Good riddance to bad rubbish...is what i say about your ex. Your man should love you through thick & thin. What if you were scarred in a fire...would he love you??? That's not the man for you. You are a young beautiful woman and do not need someone who is beating your spirit down. You have gotten back on track and are committed to being a healthier you. I'm proud of you!! You keep your head up!!
  • Aranda7892
    Aranda7892 Posts: 20 Member
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    Don't ever let anyone control what you eat, how much you eat, if you exercise, etc. It's YOUR body no one else's. I understand wanting to please someone more then anything. I think you're a strong lady. Keep your head up and only do what you want to do. :)
  • krisbychiken
    krisbychiken Posts: 72 Member
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    That's terrible! Being healthy is one thing, but being criticized for weight alone? No way! If my man EVER talked to me like that, he'd be out in a minute. Never put up with disrespect from any man, life's too short to waste on *kitten*!
  • bms34b
    bms34b Posts: 401 Member
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    So many things wrong with that excuse of a man. I'm sorry you had to go through that. You're a saint for sticking with his verbal abuse for so long - really! You're a fabulous woman inside and out!!

    I'm 20 too and come from an army family. More importantly, I come from a family of weight troubles and I completely understand the importance of support and belief. There's nothing that can make up for lack of unconditional love!!!

    Good for you! I hope that MFP is a helpful tool to you.
  • jrbb0309
    jrbb0309 Posts: 55
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    No offence but your ex is an a**. If he hadn't been an a** to you about your weight, he would have found something else to be an a** to you about. Someone who really loves you will support you and help you with your journey, not cheat on you and then use your weight as an excuse. I know it hurts, but honestly, good riddance. Lose the weight that you need to lose for yourself and then find someone who deserves you and will love and support you always.
  • pizzanut
    pizzanut Posts: 14
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    you've already lost what weighed you down the most,him! now you can do amazing things! he has alot of issues and you are way better of without him,good luck on you're weight loss journey,make sure the next one wants you,not a trophy.he probley doesn't deserve you,so you go girl!

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