Husband left me because of weight. NEW motivation.
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I understand how you feel! I lost a spouse for the same reasons a couple of years ago! I was working two jobs (and was the only one working for most of the marriage),trying to be a husband,father and serving faithfully in the church! All of this brings on a certain level of stress and when I got stressed i would eat,Eat, EAT and EAT AGAIN! I BALLOONED UP TO 350 plus pounds! The marriage ended and it seemed my life ended as well! I couldnt even ride on a ride at Six Flags with my daughters! I was so huge! I finally said Enough is enough! I started walking daily and trashed all of the sodas white breads,grits, rice and anything that was a a potential threat to me losing weight!
After a few months of walking, I got the nerve up to join a gym and started going late at night and early in the mornings, so that the more seasoned gym-heads wouldnt pick at Fat Boy! I eventually developed a great cardio routine on my own and the weight just started melting off! After a few months, I began my own strength training routine from watching the gym-heads and began to pack on muscle! Now my Ex is burning up my phone and I get to ignore her for a change!
HANG IN THERE!0 -
Sometimes the bad things in life can have good consequences. He obviously just needed the right opportunity for his *kitten*-hole nature to come out. So thank your stars you found out early!
I'm glad you're developing good health habits and losing weight. But I also want to make sure you understand that NO ONE gets to talk to you the way your ex did. Even if he decided he didn't want to stay married to you (it happens between all kinds of people), a true friend would never belittle you, shame you, or blame you for their feelings. How could you treat someone you ever loved that way? The answer is...you wouldn't.
So get out there and find someone who is capable of loving you!0 -
You are beautiful! Just stunning! That man doesn't deserve you -- then, now, or in the future. Get healthy for YOU and enjoy him coming back with his tail between his legs... but do NOT take him back!0
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If my husband ever treated me like that, I'd up and leave his *kitten* so fast that his head would spin. Fortunately, mine's smart and has been supportive of me through thick and thin.
I wish you a lot of success in your quest to lose weight and get fit--looking good is the best revenge
And no matter what, I hope you find someone who cherishes you for YOU, no matter what the scale may read or what size you may be. You deserve that--we all do!0 -
Sounds like your surrounding yourself with the wrong people. I know it goes on. Not everyone is like that though. Cheating goes on in the civilian world just as much as in the military. Last unit my husband was with was all about family. They also did marriage retreats every 6 months.
This ^^
As for the OP, good riddance and hey, you are only 20... there is so much more to come for you ^^. Keep going gal... and hey come back to the UK ^^ I swear the weather alone will make you burn more calories
Well, to be fair, we had marriage retreats every month itself. But, all of my husbands friends were the same. It's not who I surrounded myself with but he himself. They would cheat on their own spouses at least once. It was honestly so upsetting. I'm also trying to get back to the UK within the year.
I just want a fresh start with my life. 0 -
Child, you are young, beautiful and full of life. that man you married isall of the opposite. once the sting goes away you'll realize what a shallow man you were married to. Lose this weight for YOU not him or anyone else? always put yourself first... Good luck on the journey to the new you and new life.0
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Honestly it sounds like your dude was cheating on you for a while and was just looking for a "way out."
Complete total POS, but you need to believe in yourself. All of us do. Without faith in ourselves (and of course for me the man upstairs) we will never succeed.0 -
You can do it. Be here everyday. It so helpful and we will all be here for you too. I've heard it said "Living well is the best revenge."0
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Honestly it sounds like your dude was cheating on you for a while and was just looking for a "way out."
Complete total POS, but you need to believe in yourself. All of us do. Without faith in ourselves (and of course for me the man upstairs) we will never succeed.
I'm starting to believe the same thing. He didn't even tell one of the girls he was married. His friends all knew and ENCOURAGED it. It's very hurtful to be called "too fat" and "too ugly." He even said "British accents (I'm british, duh, lol) sounds like a cat dying." Constantly pulling me down. It's really sad. When he joined the US army he loved me SO much and was SO sweet, but I feel the the military changed HIM for the worse. Not to say the military doesn't make some good and strong people, but for him, personally. It made him horrible.0 -
My sentiments exactly. He should be supportive and isn't. Don't let his words hurt you. Have them make you stronger. You deserve better in so many ways. You deserve to be healthy and with a loving, supportive significant other. Sounds to me that he's probably unhappy with himself and is/was taking it out on you. That's not healthy. You deserve more.0
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Definately a jerk. While this might be a great motivator for you, remember that you need to do this for you and no one else. If he didn't love you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best. You are doing great so far. Keep it up.
I agree 100%. You're lucky he's gone, though it's a shame you had to go through that kind of abuse. Fortunately, you're in a place where you can reset your life. Let YOU be your biggest motivator, and all else will fall into place. Good luck and stay positive!0 -
Totally agree ^^^^ !!!!You're well rid of him, i'd say!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Sorry you had to deal with that and hear that from someone who was supposed to love you! The best revenge is looking awesome and leaving him with his jaw on the floor at the wedding! :grumble:0
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Get it, Girl!!!! Show him what's up!!!!
Take a hot date with you!!! Hell, hire an escort.... the hottest guy you can find!0 -
Totally agree ^^^^ !!!!You're well rid of him, i'd say!! :flowerforyou:
And this!!!0 -
So proud of you for getting on here! Do this for you---and when he sees what he lost that's a bonus---but you have to do it for you or it wont stick. Stay on here and surround yourself with encouragers and you will find happiness in you!0
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He's a jerk and an immature one. Good luck on your journey!0
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Complete Jerk, I feel terrible for you. I've had weight issues all my life, and family members treated me like that. They think that it is a way of motivating you. When its not, it is very hurtful! No one should go through that at all.
But I feel you're a strong person and you will find someone that loves you for who you are, and he'll be a lucky guy. Good luck to you! 0 -
Whatever do, however much you lose, just make sure YOU do it for YOU!
^ this!0 -
Sounds to me like he was just looking for an excuse to leave. Looks fade, the body ages. If it hadn't been your weight, then in a few years it would have been because you were too old.
No one needs a superficial, unsupportive *kitten* like that. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are - your mind, your heart, your personality. The physical is secondary.
Wising you all the best with your health, and I hope that you will meet someone who will love you and appreciate you for the wonderful person you are, not your body.0 -
You are already gorgeous and he is a major douchpickle who isn't worthy of you.Thanks girls! I definitely will be doing so! For saying he's in the army, he's getting close to being kicked because HE'S gaining weight...! Karma!!!
I'm really excited though. It's not just about being healthy anymore. It's about being a gorgeous AND healthy woman!0 -
It was an excuse. You deserve better and can do better. I know u want to show off in Sept. But make sure u r thinking about you and your life in general. Losing weight needs to be done FOR U, not for him or anyone else. I just hope if he tries knockin on your door again that u will kick him to the curb. He will never change. Good Luck Hunni, don't rush things, let them happen naturally. Mr Right is out there. He will find u. 0
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Wow. I don't even know what to say to that! What a d*ckwad!!
You can do this! Do it for you because you are an amazing woman and are worth it!!
^^Ditto!
There are good men out there...I found one, and in Los Angeles, no less! Knock 'em dead, sweetie! :flowerforyou:0 -
Living well is the best revenge.0
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Men! ARGH! My ex husband took a video of me walking in front of him, then showed it to me and said 'And you wonder why I don't find you attractive?'
wtf
So weird.
^^ Yep... insanely irritatingly weird.0 -
(Didn't read all the other responses.)
Sounds like he's trying to use your weight as an excuse for HIS bad behavior -- the cheating. And probably to make him feel better about his own weight. You're taking control of your weight, and successfully losing. So he was going to lose his crutch.
Best wishes on your new, fresh life without him weighing you down!0 -
I just want to let you know that you are not alone. Pretty much what happened to you happened to me. Got married young to a soldier cheated on me...always had problems with his friends and my looks..I gave up everything to be with him. But it taught me a great lesson...you have to love and respect yourself before you want someone else to do it too. Then you will find someone who knows your worth and will love and appreciate you as much as you do them. I had to start over and that was not easy at all. But I was blessed with great friends and Im getting through it. As they say sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side. I have now been divorced for three years and I know from him that those few times he thought something better was out there...it wasnt. He wishes we'd worked things out...and realizes how good he had it lol You have to find your inner happiness...be happy and healthy...dont settle for less...love and be loved0
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Honestly sounds to me like he had already decided that was his excuse for not being committed and not having enough self control not to cheat.
40lbs is a lot but its not THAT much. Especially since you lost 20lbs of it at some point.
If you ask me it has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with him being an *kitten*.
Even the skinniest/best looking women in the world get together with jerks who treat like crap and can't keep it in their pants.
You deserve so much better.0 -
Wow, he's a jerk and you didn't deserve that. I agree with ^^^ about him using your weight as an excuse for his behaviour. HOWEVER, if this gives you motivation to make a change, good! You can do this. You deserve somebody who treats you sooo much better and honestly, it's sickening that he'd leave you for that. People who stay married for many years will see weights go up and down through pregnancies and after and if that's a deal breaker for him...good that he left now instead of causing more pain for you.
You can only go up, right? You'll have a much better life without someone like that.0 -
There is a difference between a MAN and a BOY.
You, my dear, married the latter.0
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