Email to the ex-husband

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  • tizzylish1974
    tizzylish1974 Posts: 1
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    Funny_girl, I like you! Dating is awesome and SO much fun. I wish you many amazing experiences as you begin dating again.
  • niknak2308
    niknak2308 Posts: 315 Member
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    I guess it works different here in the UK then as the CSA "don't do backpay". Someone I know gets a measly £5 a fortnight and as I said, they won't even look into backpay. £5 doesn't barely covers a days worth of food for a teenager, let alone clothes, roof over their head, school trips etc etc.... :explode:
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
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    As a woman with a fiance who deals with an ex-wife who would write something like this with all the seriousness in the world, and who spends every cent of child support on herself while neglecting the kids, well, it was hard to find this amusing at all. If the funny part is supposed to be that women don't actually do this, then it missed its mark entirely.
  • katyejean
    katyejean Posts: 233 Member
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    I have a feeling that if he took you to court over the use of child support, this letter would be printed and handed over. And in return, you'll be the one in trouble. I don't really know anything about the court system, let alone anything about child support, but it's named child support for a reason, and I have seen (mostly) women having to pay it all back because they used it for their own personal needs. You probably should have clearly stated that you can use his money to help pay for your kid, and your own money to pay for your drinks. It sounds silly to have to put it that way, but I know the court system can take a letter such as yours and turn it completely around, and you would lose the case and be SOL.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
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    Good grief.

    The letter is funny and a nice way to vent but don't send it. Let your lawyer do all the talking for you. I assume that if you're getting alimony and child support, that he's also paying for your attorney fees. That's a $300-350 per hour message that's being delivered on his dime. Hit him where it hurts.

    Unless he's jobless and broke. In which case, getting blood out of rock is gonna be rough.
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
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    I hate people who don't pay child support.
    In Indiana they have spouse support if you get a divorce. Which seems a little ridiculous. My uncle has to pay spouse support but he has the kids all the time except every other weekend. His ex-wife doesn't work and lives with her unemployed boyfriend, so their both being supported by him.

    Anyway I hope he pays you, people who don't pay child support are worthless *kitten* hats. They obviously are too selfish to make sure their children's needs are satisfied first.

    Also it may not be a good idea to joke about spending the money elsewhere. My boyfriend's mom actually spent his child support on stuff like that and he got a letter in the mail saying if it wasn't given to or used for him he could contact someone. Which obviously he wasn't going to do to his mother. It would give your ex-husband "proof" of spending it on that even if you were joking.

    <3
  • Rubyinthesand2012
    Rubyinthesand2012 Posts: 92
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    My dad stopped paying child support a long time ago, started to add up to like 50 or 60, 000. Then the US government moved in and sent him to the penitentiary (sp?), needless to say, he's making whatever payments he can now.

    i wish they did that in this country... my EX doesnt pay a penny in child support he did for the first year we were seperated then he stopped (almost 5 yrs now without anything)
    i have moved on and am living with my new partner who is a wonderful man and me and my children want for nothing. we even said IF my ex was to start paying that we would put it into the childrens savings accounts for their future.
  • drvvork
    drvvork Posts: 1,162
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    I recognize the sarcasm in this - but the child support that one father paid when he could and the other that was like pulling teeth but was finally paid did not go on me. It was directly spent on my children. I kept records, even though the fathers might question why I felt cable and telephone was important but it was for their children. I even had one ask me why I showed rent included - I explained that it was showing only 1/2 of the rent (I had to explain that this was a showing of his half of the bills - even showing what I paid in supporting his child which was extrememly lopsided - eye surgeries, special shoes, etc). There was no arguments when I did get my hair done or a new outfit. I was only questioned once as to how I spent the money. I threatened to send an itemized billing monthly if needed but it never came to that. Thank goodness, it would have cost additional cost for bookkeeping and postage.
  • kaits108
    kaits108 Posts: 305 Member
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    I like what you've written.... as a single mom to a little girl whose father doesn't pay child support, I understand where you are coming from.

    However, "child support" is supposed to be money that supports the child. I probably would have spun my letter in that direction rather than in the "look at me, I want to date" direction. I feel like that will cause an argument... regardless of how you REALLY want to use the money, it's meant to "support" the "child".

    Completely agree! Also coming from a single mom to a child whose father doesn't pay child support.

    I totally understand your frustration, however just be careful what you put in writing if you're working through the court system!
  • drpurl
    drpurl Posts: 190 Member
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    It also said Alimony, which she can use however she feels see fit.
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    My dad stopped paying child support a long time ago, started to add up to like 50 or 60, 000. Then the US government moved in and sent him to the penitentiary (sp?), needless to say, he's making whatever payments he can now.

    i wish they did that in this country... my EX doesnt pay a penny in child support he did for the first year we were seperated then he stopped (almost 5 yrs now without anything)
    i have moved on and am living with my new partner who is a wonderful man and me and my children want for nothing. we even said IF my ex was to start paying that we would put it into the childrens savings accounts for their future.

    Yep, apparently the States, or WV specifically, are pretty strict on things like that, oh well. He deserved it, thank God my mom remarried an awesome man who took great care of us, and was a much better dad than my biological one.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    It also said Alimony, which she can use however she feels see fit.

    Which is why alimony should not exist in the first place.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Isn't the point of child support to support your CHILDREN, not so your ex-wife can go out with friends, get mani/pedis, etc. People who don't take care of their kids, don't call, and generally blow off their children are scum, I agree, but the OP's "letter" centers on herself, and what she could buy for herself, and do by herself (or with adult friends) if she had more money. Oh, and how she could get another husband. I hate to say it, but I feel bad for the kids.
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    Some things are better left off social networks. Just because you are crabby because you haven't gotten laid in a while doesn't mean you need to share this with the whole world. Send it to you ex or keep it to yourself but why blast this all over the internet??
  • sambo155
    sambo155 Posts: 88
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    I thought it was hilarious! I totally get the sarcasm.

    My child's dad is a deadbeat. I've heard deadbeats say that "my ex *better* be spending every penny of child support money on the kid!". Or, "I'll buy the kid whatever he/she needs instead of paying child support to make sure you're spending the money on the kid!". The bills are also part of taking care of the child. Paying rent/mortgage, keeping the lights, heat and hot water on, keeping groceries in the house, etc., these are all part of taking care of the child. That's why I love you're letter! He probably assumes that's what you're doing with the money and you throw it right in his face! He's probably too stupid to see the sarcasm.
  • badgerbadger1
    badgerbadger1 Posts: 954 Member
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    I am the queen of sarcasm. That said, this is a very bad idea. He will produce it as evidence at court, and courts don't care about tone or sarcasm, they care about exactly what you wrote. If you wrote you're going to misuse the funds, they will take it as such and it will not end well for you.

    Talk to him, go to court, garnish his wages if need be. Or am I the only one who prefers the drama-free direct route?
  • boobee32
    boobee32 Posts: 450 Member
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    I like what you've written.... as a single mom to a little girl whose father doesn't pay child support, I understand where you are coming from.

    However, "child support" is supposed to be money that supports the child. I probably would have spun my letter in that direction rather than in the "look at me, I want to date" direction. I feel like that will cause an argument... regardless of how you REALLY want to use the money, it's meant to "support" the "child".

    Agreed! The alimony on the other hand...all for you.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
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    Not the forum for this.
  • afwife4811
    afwife4811 Posts: 9 Member
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    My kids' father hasn't paid a lick of child support in the whole 15 years he has been a "parent". (I did get a check for 38 cents one week.) He doesn't hold a job so DHHS cannot garnish his wages nor take his tax returns, he doesn't hold a driver's license nor any type of work license so they can't take that either. I asked about putting him in jail and they said that they don't do that. So unfortunately my children have suffered for 15 years, not always having their mom at home and having to spend a lot of time at sitter's because Mommy has had to work 2 and 3 jobs to keep them in what they need.
    I like the sarcasm in the letter, believe me, if it were me writing the letter I would not be allowed to post it on a PG13 site... heck they may even ban it from an adult R rated site because what I have to say to my kids' father probably shouldn't be said at all. I just keep it bottled inside. I don't want any chance of my children hearing it. His day will come and I hope with all my heart I am still around to see it when it does. LOL
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    I am the queen of sarcasm. That said, this is a very bad idea. He will produce it as evidence at court, and courts don't care about tone or sarcasm, they care about exactly what you wrote. If you wrote you're going to misuse the funds, they will take it as such and it will not end well for you.

    Talk to him, go to court, garnish his wages if need be. Or am I the only one who prefers the drama-free direct route?


    Agree with you 100%!!

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