Posting Before & After Pics... Husband is NOT supportive

Options
1…5681011…13

Replies

  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
    Options
    It honestly never would have crossed my mind to ask my husband's permission to post my photos online, and his reaction is "Hell yeah! Look at how hot my wife looks!"

    To be fair, if he was totally against me posting photos in a bathing suit, I wouldn't. There's lines I won't cross, but they're my own lines, not his. But I also can't imagine him ever forbidding me to do anything, or marrying someone who'd forbid me from doing anything. That's just how we are with each other... we trust each other's judgements because we know we share the same values.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Options
    You know, this might sound old-fashioned, but I say respect his wishes. You don't really gain anything from posting those pics. Your marriage is more important than what some strangers on the internet think.

    Stop the presses! We agreed on something?
  • slayerdan
    slayerdan Posts: 193
    Options
    Glad to see the Puritanical view of marriage is still fresh and alive in the minds of some people. You sound like a great slave. It should be a long, glorious marriage.
  • closedacct
    closedacct Posts: 5
    Options
    Hmmm. I wonder if he would like you discussing marital business with strangers on the internet.
  • Fit4_Life
    Fit4_Life Posts: 828 Member
    Options
    If husband is not supporting the "pictures". Then don't. You're the one that has to live with him or hear it from him; no one else does. Sure it's nice to show your progress, but it's not worth the argument. Not a good idea to be doing things behind husband's back without approval. Just sayin'..
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
    Options
    I'm not sure why doing that is "sharing" yourself. They're photos of you in a bikini, it's not like you're engaging in strange sex acts for strangers to watch on a cam. Have you talked to him about why he is so bothered by this, or how this is different from you say, wearing that same bikini to the beach or the pool?
  • nygiantschick
    nygiantschick Posts: 289 Member
    Options
    I think you should respect his request there are a lot of creepy people on the internet- even this site. Just post in some exercise clothes like yoga pants and a tank top or something. Your marriage is more important than this website.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Options
    Hmmm. I wonder if he would like you discussing marital business with strangers on the internet.

    :drinker:
  • meparker56
    meparker56 Posts: 36
    Options
    Hi there! A word of advise, do not go behind his back. One of the worst things in the world for a relationship is lying or having secrets. Things like that have a way of biting you in the butt!. Be honest with him. The decision is ultimately yours, but why not post pics with nice fitting clothes instead of a bikini? Personally, I like to leave a little to the imagination! Good luck to you, whatever you decide.
  • HotBodUnderConstruction
    HotBodUnderConstruction Posts: 420
    Options
    I think it's just because he knows what men do with half-naked pictures of pretty women on the internet...:wink:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    You know, this might sound old-fashioned, but I say respect his wishes. You don't really gain anything from posting those pics. Your marriage is more important than what some strangers on the internet think.

    Stop the presses! We agreed on something?

    I did not know that we had ever not agreed on something. :huh:
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
    Options
    that would be the day someone told me what i could or couldnt do.. if your husband said you cant you are letting him say that. its not like they are nude pics for god sake.. once i turned 18 i became an adult who is legally allowed to make my own decisions. sounds like a control freak to me

    Just curious; are you married?

    I am married, and while I wouldn't go so far as to say this woman's husband is a control freak, since I don't know him or what he is like otherwise, I do agree with the spirit of what the poster is saying. I am an adult, I discuss things with my husband, I ask why or why he might not be comfortable with certain things, but in the end, if something doesn't directly effect him, then it's my decision (e.g. posting bikini pictures on the internet vs. selling our car, which would effect him). I am an adult, and if my husband didn't trust me, or my judgement, then we would need to seriously rethink our relationship.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
    Options
    I think it's just because he knows what men do with half-naked pictures of pretty women on the internet...:wink:

    It doesn't matter if you're attractive or not, it doesn't matter if you're wearing your undies or a burka, there is probably a man out there who will do nasty things while looking at it. If this bothers you that much, don't post ANY pictures on the internet, EVER.
  • got2go2concerts
    got2go2concerts Posts: 132 Member
    Options
    He is your husband not your owner! Do what YOU need to do, if posting pics will help your journey then post it. (Cut your head out if you want)

    I totally agree!!!!! You don't have to show your face....
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
    Options
    that would be the day someone told me what i could or couldnt do.. if your husband said you cant you are letting him say that. its not like they are nude pics for god sake.. once i turned 18 i became an adult who is legally allowed to make my own decisions. sounds like a control freak to me

    Just curious; are you married?

    I am married, and while I wouldn't go so far as to say this woman's husband is a control freak, since I don't know him or what he is like otherwise, I do agree with the spirit of what the poster is saying. I am an adult, I discuss things with my husband, I ask why or why he might not be comfortable with certain things, but in the end, if something doesn't directly effect him, then it's my decision (e.g. posting bikini pictures on the internet vs. selling our car, which would effect him). I am an adult, and if my husband didn't trust me, or my judgement, then we would need to seriously rethink our relationship.

    I don't think its about trust or judgment. I just think that he feels that their marriage is a sacrement of shared mutual respect. He is bothered by the thought of strangers seeing parts of his wife's body that she has promised to him. Allowing strangers to see those parts that he has requested that she not share could easily be viewed as a betrayal. Hurt feelings over this could cause irreperable damage to their marriage. Your husband might not be so sensitive and might be more understanding, but hers obviously isn't and she must respect the marriage if she wants to keep it.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    Options
    that would be the day someone told me what i could or couldnt do.. if your husband said you cant you are letting him say that. its not like they are nude pics for god sake.. once i turned 18 i became an adult who is legally allowed to make my own decisions. sounds like a control freak to me

    Just curious; are you married?

    I am married, and while I wouldn't go so far as to say this woman's husband is a control freak, since I don't know him or what he is like otherwise, I do agree with the spirit of what the poster is saying. I am an adult, I discuss things with my husband, I ask why or why he might not be comfortable with certain things, but in the end, if something doesn't directly effect him, then it's my decision (e.g. posting bikini pictures on the internet vs. selling our car, which would effect him). I am an adult, and if my husband didn't trust me, or my judgement, then we would need to seriously rethink our relationship.

    I don't think its about trust or judgment. I just think that he feels that their marriage is a sacrement of shared mutual respect. He is bothered by the thought of strangers seeing parts of his wife's body that she has promised to him. Allowing strangers to see those parts that he has requested that she not share could easily be viewed as a betrayal. Hurt feelings over this could cause irreperable damage to their marriage. Your husband might not be so sensitive and might be more understanding, but hers obviously isn't and she must respect the marriage if she wants to keep it.

    VERY nicely put.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
    Options
    I am married, and while I wouldn't go so far as to say this woman's husband is a control freak, since I don't know him or what I don't think its about trust or judgment. I just think that he feels that their marriage is a sacrement of shared mutual respect. He is bothered by the thought of strangers seeing parts of his wife's body that she has promised to him. Allowing strangers to see those parts that he has requested that she not share could easily be viewed as a betrayal. Hurt feelings over this could cause irreperable damage to their marriage. Your husband might not be so sensitive and might be more understanding, but hers obviously isn't and she must respect the marriage if she wants to keep it.

    But we're talking about parts of her body that are visible any time she goes to the beach or pool.

    The parts of my body covered by my bikini are the parts that are only for my husband. And my gynecologist. The rest? I live on a corner lot on a busy intersection. Anyone driving past in the summer can see me floating in the pool in a bikini.
  • HotBodUnderConstruction
    HotBodUnderConstruction Posts: 420
    Options
    I think it's just because he knows what men do with half-naked pictures of pretty women on the internet...:wink:

    It doesn't matter if you're attractive or not, it doesn't matter if you're wearing your undies or a burka, there is probably a man out there who will do nasty things while looking at it. If this bothers you that much, don't post ANY pictures on the internet, EVER.

    I was just joking. Obviously, perverts are not limited to a specific set of characteristics or attributes.
  • Hambone23
    Hambone23 Posts: 486 Member
    Options
    There are plenty of before and after pictures on here where the people don't wear bikinis or underwear. Wearing normal clothes absolutely will show your progress, even if you think it won't. See if he's okay with that.

    I agree with an earlier poster. If there was something I was uncomfortable with my boyfriend doing on the internet, I'd expect him to respect my feelings about it too--the same way I'd respect his. That's not to say you can't ask /why/ he feels that way and if you can possibly come to some sort of compromise. But don't do it behind his back. You'll lose some of his trust.
  • GayeGC
    GayeGC Posts: 1
    Options
    I say, just don't do it. Keep yourself a photo album of your progress - you don't really need to show the world your pictures just to motivate yourself. If you want the public recognition, do like the previous poster said and find a more creative way to share it.

    Really. If it's that important to him, respect him. No, he definitely doesn't "own" you, but marriage is about mutual respect, love, partnership... if he's asked you not to do something, especially something as unimportant as this, and you go do it behind his back knowing it will hurt him when he finds out, how will that help you in your weight loss journey OR your marriage?

    May I suggest instead that you find a way you can work together to support your journey and give you motivation? Maybe you could do your progress photos together for a private album, for example... wink, wink...

    :o)

    I agree with this. As a newly-married person, you are in a different place than you were as a single person, as is your husband. It's not just about you and what you want anymore, but about what's best for both of you and your marriage. The "I can do what I want" attitude is not beneficial for building trust and intimacy in marriage. I'm not saying you have that attitude, just suggesting that you not post pictures that your husband strongly objects to you posting.

Categories