ever been told you werent good looking?

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Replies

  • eellis2000
    eellis2000 Posts: 465 Member
    Yes!

    I have heard guys in their groups comment "horrible" or "nahhhhhh!!" and even "fat" - all out loud, loud enough for me to hear when I have walked past them or when they have walked past me, on holiday and here in the UK.

    All of them were British guys, by the way! :mad:

    I really think that the best thing to do is to confront people like that. You don't even have to say anything to them, simply turn around and give them a long look. People who say hateful things like that are generally cowards who count on their "target" just taking the abuse and walking away. It's actually pretty amusing to see the looks of confusion and embarrassment when they realize that you won't tolerate their boorish behavior. I guess I sound a little crazy, but this topic has gotten me really worked up. I spent my entire childhood and young-adulthood being the butt of everyone's jokes, and I've decided that it's never going to happen to me again--or to ANYONE else if I can help it. I'm not advocating that anyone do anything crazy or dangerous, just stick up for yourself and others.

    I know how you feel, I have always been the butt of people's jokes as well, even into adulthood. I figure someday they will grow up. And no that behavior has nothing to do with why I'm getting fit. I'm doing it for me and the way it makes me feel. The fact that my husband will enjoy it is also a bonus
  • Jadbaa
    Jadbaa Posts: 129 Member
    My husband told me I wasn't the prettiest girl in the world. This was when we were first together. He hasn't ever said it again but it's hard to forget it when your spouse says it.
  • pitbullmom87
    pitbullmom87 Posts: 54
    i can completely relate. i was really pretty when i was young and as i got older, my self esteem went downhill because my friends were always the ones being asked out and not me... i have been in an off and on relationship since i was 14, i think the main reason i kept taking him back was because i truly felt like i was not good enough for anyone. he was the only guy who ever really gave me the attention i have craved. we ended our relationship again back at the end of june and i havent even looked at another guy since. not to mention, my self esteem got even worse. ive always been the type of girl to be friends with guys, but they never looked twice at me, probably because I could beat them up (i was a tough lil lady)... i've lost 19lbs so far and just the other day at work, i noticed a guy that kept looking at me, at first i thought i was paranoid, but i asked another coworker if she saw what i was seeing. she agreed and it made me feel good, like my hard work is paying off and now im finally starting to get a little bit of self confidence back.. for years i have always realized my friends were prettier than me, and it really upset me. but then i realized, i dont need anyone to make me happy and also...most of the guys around my area are losers and only want the sluts anyway... im just waiting for someone to come along and sweep me off my feet, because there is someone out there for everyone... some of us just havent found them yet :)
  • Guatamellon
    Guatamellon Posts: 102 Member
    I have been told several times. You have a pretty face. "If you loose your weight , you could be HOT" WTF..... Ya its always in the back of my mind. I dont just want to look beautiful.... I want to feel beautiful. I am shocked how anyone could tell someone they are ugly.
  • becoming_a_new_me
    becoming_a_new_me Posts: 1,860 Member
    Yes!

    I have heard guys in their groups comment "horrible" or "nahhhhhh!!" and even "fat" - all out loud, loud enough for me to hear when I have walked past them or when they have walked past me, on holiday and here in the UK.

    All of them were British guys, by the way! :mad:

    I really think that the best thing to do is to confront people like that. You don't even have to say anything to them, simply turn around and give them a long look. People who say hateful things like that are generally cowards who count on their "target" just taking the abuse and walking away. It's actually pretty amusing to see the looks of confusion and embarrassment when they realize that you won't tolerate their boorish behavior. I guess I sound a little crazy, but this topic has gotten me really worked up. I spent my entire childhood and young-adulthood being the butt of everyone's jokes, and I've decided that it's never going to happen to me again--or to ANYONE else if I can help it. I'm not advocating that anyone do anything crazy or dangerous, just stick up for yourself and others.

    I know how you feel, I have always been the butt of people's jokes as well, even into adulthood. I figure someday they will grow up. And no that behavior has nothing to do with why I'm getting fit. I'm doing it for me and the way it makes me feel. The fact that my husband will enjoy it is also a bonus

    I do agree with the long look. I have a look that will kill, and I have silenced many a stupid man with that look.
  • alishuman
    alishuman Posts: 62
    Oh, my entire life... literally. It started with my mum and sisters and I remember insults from before I started kindergarten... right up through high school where one of the 'mean girls' I worked with actually said, "I can't see what ______ sees in you. You aren't pretty at all."

    When I was about 17, it was all too much. I was barely overweight, but anorexia became my best friend, and suddenly I was smoking hot according to all the guys I knew. But I will NEVER go that route again.

    3 kids later... much, much less hot, lol, and I hear the comments again from certain people. But they are toxic people, I understand that, now, and I'm trying to be healthy in ALL areas of my life, so... I limit exposure to them. My husband loves me and lets me know he's attracted to me, but it still hurts to hear that some people cannot value me for who I am as a person instead of how I look on the outside.

    I would have to say that while I don't like being unattractive, being better looking isn't really a huge motivator for me to lose my extra weight and get fit. It will just be a nice side benefit.
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
    i think its the people that have told us these mean words that are the ugly ones.

    i also think it all has to do with how you carry yourself though too.. i mean i could look like a slob all day and no on will find me attractive that's for sure.

    or i can care about my appearance and im sure people will notice.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    3 kids later... much, much less hot

    Motherhood is beautiful no matter how big or small you are.
  • ladyfox1979
    ladyfox1979 Posts: 405 Member
    This thread is not very motivating I think discourages people and makes us think about what we hate about ourselves vs what we love.

    Beautiful is defined in many forms and cultures.
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
    I've been told I'm ugly and unattractive by many including those closest to me. It hurts but I don't let it get me down because it's just their opinion not mine.
  • wendyw8
    wendyw8 Posts: 86 Member
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder :smile:
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
    I've been called ugly all my life right up until I starved myself and lost over 80lbs (first time round of losing weight). Then everybody wanted to talk to me, get to know me, date me etc.

    Such an ugly and superficial world we live in :S
  • 4hotmama
    4hotmama Posts: 112 Member
    I used to get all the fat jokes.I mean yeah, I was overweight as a kid, but not horribly bad ( I dont think) I used to be called the stay puff marshmellow guy (the big marshmellow ghost on the Ghostbusters movie) by my siblings and their friends and that has stuck w/ me forever. Mostly all through elementary school and middle school by classmates also I was "fat". But anyway yes it has shaped me deep down inside, forever I will always be fat in my head no matter how much I lose or try to reshape my body. But I try to ignore that little voice as much as possible.
  • bprague
    bprague Posts: 564 Member
    yes, but only once. A guy said I had too big of a nose to be good looking. That sh%t hurt.
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
    This thread is not very motivating I think discourages people and makes us think about what we hate about ourselves vs what we love.

    Beautiful is defined in many forms and cultures.

    at the end, it asks if it helped you start your fitness journey.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    My husband told me I wasn't the prettiest girl in the world. This was when we were first together. He hasn't ever said it again but it's hard to forget it when your spouse says it.
    That's how I felt when my wife admitted that I was just not sexy to her all flabby and fat.

    But it sparked me to do something about it, and all is well now.
    How many more relationships could be saved if people were open and honest instead of "honey you're beautiful to me no matter how fat you are".
  • padieane
    padieane Posts: 8 Member
    I grew up with all the negative fat comments. My dad could be brutal at times, thinking that he was doing me some good. One comment has stayed with me for all these years and that was: "If you stay fat you will never have a husband or a family. No one will accept you that way." Well you know what dad, my husband married me at 285 pounds. He told me I was beautiful when I was at my heaviest, he told me I was beautiful at my lightest and at my heaviest again. His family thinks the world of me, I am accepted and liked. My daughter has no concept of exterior "beauty" and if I have my way, it will stay that way.

    I absolutely loath the "but you have such a pretty face..." comments. I try to have a good heart, I have a strong sense of loyalty, I love and I am loved, I have a fierce devotion to my family, including my family by "love" and not "blood", I will fight for what I believe in, and I will apologize when I am wrong...oh, and I have a wicked sense of humor...I crack myself up on a regular basis. Why would you ever judge me by the number that is on my scale or how "pretty" my face is?
  • iceqieen
    iceqieen Posts: 862 Member
    I developed a stare for people who tell me what they think of my looks, personality or brains without being asked for opinion. My friends made endless fun of that stare after one of them hid under a table to get away from it.

    Allot of the comments through life have hurt, but what my husband has helped me believe is that the comments do not matter. Wether they are from a mother who keeps bringing a size or two larger pants "because I am really bloated/fat" and doesn't say anything when me and my sister shed loads of weight over one winter. The roommate who kept talking about my thin lips and small eyes that would just be uglier if I used makeup. Or from drunk strangers who like to "stare at my shelfs" and tell me what a "stupit *****" I am for not wanting to acknowledge how hot they are.

    Honestly the people who say such mean things are saying them mostly to feel better about themselfs or to lash out. Best to ignore them. Try to find friends who build you up, don't tear you down. Personally I prefer to have few good, rather than many bad ones ;)
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
    This whole thread was meant to be one of those, yeah i got called this and that, but Look at me now type of things..

    not, what do you hate about yourself..

    you are all here for a reason! if being overweight is what you dont like about yourself its why your here for help, support, guidence etc. because you want change and that is awesome.. and im glad your here!

    but if you read this thread and say "wow, im ugly and i know it!" then your a damn liar because no one on here is ugly.. NO ONE.. i have not seen one person even near that word!
  • rrgrove
    rrgrove Posts: 73
    i used to be told everyday in school how ugly i was and made fun of because i used to have really bad acne and it depressed me to the point of never going outside all i did was sit inside and watch tv
  • Oliver_Cat_13
    Oliver_Cat_13 Posts: 51 Member
    My boyfriend has told me many times that I'm not photogenic at all, and that I think I'm a lot prettier than I actually am.
  • 4hotmama
    4hotmama Posts: 112 Member
    My husband told me I wasn't the prettiest girl in the world. This was when we were first together. He hasn't ever said it again but it's hard to forget it when your spouse says it.
    That's how I felt when my wife admitted that I was just not sexy to her all flabby and fat.

    But it sparked me to do something about it, and all is well now.
    How many more relationships could be saved if people were open and honest instead of "honey you're beautiful to me no matter how fat you are".

    I find it just insane that your wife would ever say that to you. I mean yes you obviously took it and turned it around into wow- look at you now!! But I just can never imagine if you love someone w/ all your heart how one could be so brutal. My weight has sure fluctuated through my marriage, as has my husbands, but never once did one of us say change or we are leaving. My husband has always said he has been attracted at my fattest and at my skinniest, even though I knew he was lying:) he sure as hell was never going to say it. I guess some people just love in different ways. I feel bad your wife said that to you like that, but u were strong enought to turn it all around for your own good.
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
    My boyfriend has told me many times that I'm not photogenic at all, and that I think I'm a lot prettier than I actually am.

    sounds like a fracking winner.
  • wrevhn
    wrevhn Posts: 864 Member
    I have yes. But I have been told I'm pretty/cute too. And dispite having one arm, I have always been fairly confident. So I go by what I think when I look in the mirror/. I love me. Not to sound ego-ish or anything. I think I'm am pretty enough to be content. So screw the ones who do not agree, they dont have to look.
  • melendy
    melendy Posts: 7 Member
    Is this you in your profile picture? If so, I'm having a hard time imagining that you are the "ugly friend". You are a very pretty girl. Sounds like maybe your a little hard on yourself. I'm that way a little bit, I think we all are but it sounds like you need a reality check. YOU ARE PRETTY! LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT! LOL.
  • jennilovesryan
    jennilovesryan Posts: 124
    my dad was chatting to some random girl and told her that i was "not a pretty girl but beautiful to him".

    what an a-hole.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    I was really never told I was ugly, just if I lost the weight I would be a WHOLE lot prettier because I have such a pretty face. When I was at my heaviest (320) it was not until recently I have noticed women are nicer to me, as are the men( I am actually treated as if I am a human because I am skinnier). Now that I have lost 80 lbs, I am treated like a woman, where men hold the door open for me, etc. Whereas, before it would be closed in my face.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
    My husband told me I wasn't the prettiest girl in the world. This was when we were first together. He hasn't ever said it again but it's hard to forget it when your spouse says it.
    That's how I felt when my wife admitted that I was just not sexy to her all flabby and fat.

    But it sparked me to do something about it, and all is well now.
    How many more relationships could be saved if people were open and honest instead of "honey you're beautiful to me no matter how fat you are".

    I find it just insane that your wife would ever say that to you. I mean yes you obviously took it and turned it around into wow- look at you now!! But I just can never imagine if you love someone w/ all your heart how one could be so brutal. My weight has sure fluctuated through my marriage, as has my husbands, but never once did one of us say change or we are leaving. My husband has always said he has been attracted at my fattest and at my skinniest, even though I knew he was lying:) he sure as hell was never going to say it. I guess some people just love in different ways. I feel bad your wife said that to you like that, but u were strong enought to turn it all around for your own good.
    I am thankful she was honest.

    How unloving was it of me to let myself go, knowing that when we married, I was a guy in peak condition?
    Love is neither blind nor unconditional.
    We've been married 28 years and she's in peak condition and expects to be equally yoked.
    If I had not lost the fat, she would have divorced me for sure.

    And I would have had ONLY myself to blame.
    Further, not that it would ever be, but if she was the fat one, same deal.

    I could never be married to that.
    In the dark, all cats are not grey.
  • sheppuh
    sheppuh Posts: 39
    Yes, and being told that sticks with you and festers in your mind.
    For me it took a while, but realizing that the opinions of another person shouldn't affect me that much really helped me accept myself (and actually led to some pretty good change).
    The fact that the people who called me ugly started sniffing around after I lost weight also made me realize that I didn't respect them that much, so why should I give their opinion power over me?
  • ednawhatnot
    ednawhatnot Posts: 93 Member
    I always got "but you have such a pretty face.." which is another way of saying "shame about the body!" which I think is the worst 'compliment' anybody can possibly give!!

    THIS!!!! If I had a pound for every time I've heard this I could pay for a personal trainer!
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