ever been told you werent good looking?

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  • krash999
    krash999 Posts: 476 Member
    i have been told that before by several people. Also i have had people laugh in my face and then rudely say no when i asked them out... since then i have gotten a horrible self image of myself and no matter how much i want to ask someone to do something 99% of the time i just cant bring myself to do it. i mean seriously there are better ways to tell someone that you are not interested in them than to say you aren't good looking enough for me, or in my case to have them laugh in your face....
  • mommypennylane
    mommypennylane Posts: 67 Member
    I was told by my own husband that he wasn't attracted to me. The sad thing is that I weighed much less then. It did not make me want to lose weight, it made me comfort eat. The funny thing is that if I was at that size now, he'd be thrilled. lol A difference of perspective I guess. I was 180 when he said it and 213 now and 150 when we met. I just remind myself that at my biggest I am still a ton better looking than his first wife was, so theres always that. lol
  • ednawhatnot
    ednawhatnot Posts: 93 Member
    Best backhanded compliment I ever had was 'I know you're a big girl but you're the sexiest one I've ever seen'. What I actually heard in my mind was 'You scrub up ok for a fat lass'
    I wouldn't mind but the person who said it was a male acquaintance who is no Slim Jim himself.
  • ilike2moveit
    ilike2moveit Posts: 776 Member
    I've never been told that I was ugly and thankfully I've never been around anyone rude enough to say that!

    Being overweight can have a negative stigma in our society~ that the overweight person is lazy and doesn't care enough about themselves to take care of their bodies etc. I have been thin most of my life but I have been overweight after having babies (and always lost it) but I have noticed that people treat me differently when I am thinner.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    No, people lie to me and tell me I'm hot lol.
    J/k but seriously no, I guess if anyone I know finds me to be ugly they keep it to themselves!
  • iceqieen
    iceqieen Posts: 897 Member
    I was told by a girl at work, when talking about this boy she likes and how much hell he puts her through, "Well, you don't really have to deal with boys, do you? I mean... attractive people have these issues. You're lucky."

    I then mentioned that I had a boyfriend of 6 years to which she replied, "Holy crap. How do even -you- have a boyfriend?"

    I just stared at her. It didn't offend me, really, I was just incredulous at the fact that there are people who are old enough to vote or drink (in the US) that say things like that.

    That made me laugh.

    I once overheard a girl saying maybe the secret to getting a boyfriend was to not brush her teeth (she was under the impression from my "nice" ex-roommate that I didnt brush). Maybe you should suggest to the co worker that if she made herself ugly she might be able to get a non-jerk boyfriend. :P
  • healthyliving_girl
    healthyliving_girl Posts: 290 Member
    This thread makes me so sad. Why are people so blatantly mean to others? What the heck is wrong with people!!!!
  • pornstarzombie
    pornstarzombie Posts: 297
    Yes, I've been told it, and it's not a great feeling. One of my ex-boyfriend's friends called me a "butter face", which I think hurt worse than just being said "you're fat, you're not attractive, etc" because you can change your body, but you can't really change your face :/

    I've brushed it off mostly now. People are either going to like me, be attracted to me, or they aren't. And if they're going to tell me something like that, or talk about me like that well...that just tells me more about them and their insecurities than it says anything about me.
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
    I once told a guy with a mondo ego that I wasn't interested in him because he wasn't attractive to me or rather not my type as I don't date a-holes. Dude went psycho and made my life a living hell for a year, all because I wasn't attracted to him. He even confessed it in a group of people begging for my approval. I am cute, but nothing special. Yet someone went totally nuts because I, an overweight girl, said no thank you. Now, conventionally, he was probably good looking but I am more of a personality girl. This girl sounds a lot like psycho guy. Be careful. I was attacked and the only reason he didn't beat me up was because I dared him to do it so I could have his butt thrown in jail for a long long time. He also tried to date rape drug me but since I don't drink beer or accept drinks from people I don't like, he got my best friend instead. She is still in therapy for that. I still feel horrible but ..... (I wish I would have known that he had planned that so I could have saved her)

    These people get unhinged and she has set her sights on you. I finally got rid of dude by disappearing. I moved away and when he came in to my workplace my bosses were alerted to watch him. He finally disappeared. And I got to move on with my life but I block him and everyone he knows on facebook and etc just to be safe. Just thinking about it creeps me out.

    Please, please please be careful!
  • lorals05
    lorals05 Posts: 47
    I've heard it my whole life...mostly by guys who think they are giving me a compliment when they say something like "you're a plain Jane." Um...yeah. Thank you. I still remember being called a dog in junior high...I was the poor awkward stereotypical kid with braces, glasses, bad skin, greasy hair, and 5 inches taller than everyone else at that point. Oh well.

    I totally relate with your story. I was always the tall one and fairly plain. I look a lot different than I used to, but I'm still the "plain" one of my friends, meaning not the skinniest, not the heaviest, not the one with best skin, hair, etc. I'm just average and I finally decided a few years ago that I'm ok with that because it taught me to have respect for other people and to have a good sense of humor.
  • cnotefwb
    cnotefwb Posts: 43 Member
    I was once at a bar with a very attractive friend of mine. We were having a conversation with a middle aged man there who decided to tell us his first impressions. He told her that the first thing he thought when he saw her was that she had beautiful eyes. He told me the first thing he thought about me was that I looked like I give good h**d. And he thought this was a perfectly acceptable thing to say and that I wouldn't be offended. The conversation was over at that point.
  • ednawhatnot
    ednawhatnot Posts: 93 Member
    Some of these stories on here are horrific. Why do people think it's ok to be so mean to others? I don't care how thin or conventionally attractive someone is, if they're ugly on the inside I don't want to know them.
  • cashnhaydensmama
    cashnhaydensmama Posts: 41 Member
    When I was 10 (yes, 10) My mom and stepfather told me "only fat people get creases on thier forearms". I was not overweight at the time. The creases they are talking about Iv'e had my whole life, they aren't rolls. My mother also told me at my wedding "well you would have been much prettier if you would have lost 10 pounds for this". I was (at that time) within a healthy BMI.

    So not by a friend, but my own mother. It has made me a better mother to my children, but I suffered from an eating disorder for years and still lack self esteem. Luckily, I have a great husband who loves me whether I'm fat or thin.
  • doingItIn2012
    doingItIn2012 Posts: 80 Member
    I look more like my dad than my mother, who is gorgeous. So indirectly yes! As soon as they see me they say I look like my dad. My sisters take after my mother. Pretty hard to hear when I was growing up.
  • ElPumaMex
    ElPumaMex Posts: 367 Member
    All the time when I was a young girl & even my mom told me things like "_____ is way prettier than you are". Which is why up to now I still have low self-esteem & don't consider myself pretty.

    It is incredible what people, and even family, can say to hurt others !

    Society sometimes puts too much weight towards "pretty" or "handsome".
    We have to realize perceptions change over time, and we should not be basing our self-esteem on what others say about us.

    Your self-esteem gives you confidence when interacting with others, and confidence radiates out.
    And since we all will lose whatever looks we have to age, we should not be basing our self-esteem on how we look !

    I have seen many examples of women and men, that could be considered "ugly" when looking at a photo, but that have high such high self esteem that when people meet them, they don't see them as ugly.
    Other times, just taking care of one dresses and conducts, will give you extra confidence. Don't go by "I am not good looking, so why should I care about how I dress?"
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,624 Member
    I heard it a lot as a kid and only a little less as a teenager. We'll say my self-esteem wasn't fantastic or even near stable until I hit 19.

    same for me
  • secrets_out
    secrets_out Posts: 770 Member
    Never
  • doingItIn2012
    doingItIn2012 Posts: 80 Member
    I once told a guy with a mondo ego that I wasn't interested in him because he wasn't attractive to me or rather not my type as I don't date a-holes. Dude went psycho and made my life a living hell for a year, all because I wasn't attracted to him. He even confessed it in a group of people begging for my approval. I am cute, but nothing special. Yet someone went totally nuts because I, an overweight girl, said no thank you. Now, conventionally, he was probably good looking but I am more of a personality girl. This girl sounds a lot like psycho guy. Be careful. I was attacked and the only reason he didn't beat me up was because I dared him to do it so I could have his butt thrown in jail for a long long time. He also tried to date rape drug me but since I don't drink beer or accept drinks from people I don't like, he got my best friend instead. She is still in therapy for that. I still feel horrible but ..... (I wish I would have known that he had planned that so I could have saved her)

    These people get unhinged and she has set her sights on you. I finally got rid of dude by disappearing. I moved away and when he came in to my workplace my bosses were alerted to watch him. He finally disappeared. And I got to move on with my life but I block him and everyone he knows on facebook and etc just to be safe. Just thinking about it creeps me out.

    Please, please please be careful!





    OMG what a horrific story, glad you are OK !
  • ymhand
    ymhand Posts: 188
    This is kind of off topic but my bf cracks me up, about girls who wear shirts that say spoiled or the girls who wear pants that say sexy on the butt and lettering is peeling off! Lol, anyways........
  • iceqieen
    iceqieen Posts: 897 Member
    I have seen many examples of women and men, that could be considered "ugly" when looking at a photo, but that have high such high self esteem that when people meet them, they don't see them as ugly.
    Other times, just taking care of one dresses and conducts, will give you extra confidence. Don't go by "I am not good looking, so why should I care about how I dress?"

    Very true.

    Met an online friend who had told me before meeting me that he didn't find me attractive at all (the feeling was mutual, though he is the typical tall, blond, muscled, square jaw, handsome guy). Then after we met he told me I was much more attractive in person. "Well, gee.. thanks. Still not interested in you :P"

    Pictures flatten a person. Being clean, well dressed, and smiling goes a long way to change people's perception. Research has shown that ;) just cant remember what the term is for it.

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