Worst Date Ever

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  • shedoos
    shedoos Posts: 446 Member
    I dated a guy 20 years ago (I've been married 17) - absolutely GORGEOUS and a killer weight lifter's body...

    Turned out he worked for a building supply company. He drilled the holes in the doors into which the doorknobs and locks were placed. He *****ed to me about what a horrible day he had at work because a builder had ordered the doors wrong and he had to drill them all again... Yes- he wanted to talk about drilling the holes in doors...

    Definitely one of those things that if he had only kept his mouth shut, all would have been good..
  • I went on a date once with someone who I had met at a party, and it was going pretty well, we talked, he held my hand... but before it was over he said "So I can't wait to tell my mom about my girlfriend". Needless to say I just stopped in my tracks. It was the weirdest thing that has happened to me. I barely know a guy for two hours and apparently we're dating. I ended giving him a chance, but I should have taken that first night as a sign, haha.
  • Tiff587
    Tiff587 Posts: 264 Member
    I have a good one! But it embarrasses me more than anything!

    I went on a pretty good date with a nice guy, all was well, we hit it off. I got a lovely text from him when I got home.

    Next day I went to work. Unfortunately at the time I worked at a children's farm park. I had to wear a all green unisex trouser and giant shirt uniform thing, needless to say it was not sexy and way too big! The pigs escaped in the morning and I had spent two hours running around in pig crap and mud getting them back. (Oh and it was Halloween so I also had to wear a pumpkin outfit over my sexy uniform.)
    Anyway later that morning I was doing the tractor ride for the kids and on he got with his nieces! Needless to say, longest half hour of my life!!!!

    Strangely he did text me to ask me out again! (Maybe he thought I had a strange sister who liked rolling in pig crap!)
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    Last Friday ironically was my worst date ever. Met this guy on eharmony. Seemed pretty normal so we moved to texting. His profile said he worked for the Dept of Childrens and Families for the state. My mom works for the state so I had her check to see if he really did, no luck finding him. Whatever, maybe he's too new. Got tons of creepy vibes with talking via text telling me he wanted to make me happy, told him my dream vacation was Hawaii and he said I guess I'm saving for there now. Friends said to give him a chance so I agreed to drinks. Met him at the local bar in the casino. The guy was WAY shyer than me which I didn't think was possible. He asked about my Pandora bracelet, then proceeded to tell me he had one but never wore it, he just likes to collect the charms. I should've taken that chance to bolt but I didn't. Then told me he wanted to delete his eharmony account, um 1 date doesn't mean a relationship dude. He then wanted to leave the bar because it was too loud. Whatever fine with me. So we started walking around the casino. He asked to hold my hand. Seriously. If it had been anyone but him I might have thought it was sweet but since I already had the creepy vibe, it creeped me out even more. Grow a pair and grab my hand if you want to hold it. Then he asked if I wanted to go look at the charms because one of the shops sells Pandora charms. Um no way. The only suggestions he had for after the casino was to go back to his place which wasn't happening. The next morning I sent him a text saying I'm sorry I didn't feel a connection. He tried to guilt me saying oh I'm never good enough.
    Thankfully I haven't heard from him since.
    I think today has been the first day my coworkers and friends haven't teased me about it but now you all can so its ok.
  • kaits108
    kaits108 Posts: 305 Member
    I had a really nice date with a guy I'd met online, so I invited him over to watch a movie and have lunch one day. My ex was still in the habit of walking into the house whenever he felt like, so that was awkward when he decided to stop in, but then later the guy was kissing me, and I was trying to keep it at just that because I didn't want to rush into anything. He was wearing shorts, I was wearing yoga pants with flip flops. He kept pushing himself against me, and all the sudden I felt something wet plop on top of my foot. I was freaking out, but I didn't want to say anything to embarrass him! I could feel it soaking into the bottom of my pants, totally grossing me out.

    OMG!! LOL!
  • ajfrench
    ajfrench Posts: 323 Member


    Did he pull a Justin Timberlake????

    Did he REALLY do what I think he did on your foot?!

    Yes! Ick. And HAHA! to j4nash. :smile:
    [/quote]

    Agreed -- and yes, j4nash, you are quite amusing.
  • slay0r
    slay0r Posts: 669 Member


    Did he pull a Justin Timberlake????

    Did he REALLY do what I think he did on your foot?!

    Yes! Ick. And HAHA! to j4nash. :smile:
    [/quote]

    Oh my god! Maybe it's just me but I just don't see how other men manage this? I don't think I'd even get started never mind finished with all clothes on O_o
  • TheAncientMariner
    TheAncientMariner Posts: 444 Member
    I let my sister talk me into going on to a date....ok, she guilted me into it....with some random guy from the internets. She and her friend had decided to set up a profile on a dating site because they decided I'm ready to date. They said they were going to "screen" the guys for me. Apparently they were screening to make sure the guys were nut jobs! The same day she activated my profile this guy said he wanted to go out with me that night! She called me, I asked if she was F-ing crazy! What kind of desperate, pathetic, yucktard would want to go out before even having had a conversation? She told me I'm too picky and blah blah blah blah blah...so I went. He picked me up at her house, he was shorter than me (I'm 5'4") and looked creepy. I, right in front of him, wrote down his license plate number and gave it to my sister and told her "You might need this in case they find my body in a ditch." I get in the car and he asked where I want to go....um, dude, you didn't have that figured out first?! So then he said I told him I like to go bowling. I did? Thanks sis for emailing him all day pretending to be me. So I told him that sounds fine. He asked where the nearest bowling lanes were, when I told him he got huffy and said "UGH! I just drove from over there! *sigh*" (EXCUSE ME?!) We decided to do dinner around the corner first. All the way there, he complained about how awful his ex wife was. Once we arrived to the restaurant he yelled at the waiter....TWICE! I decided it was time to go to the bathroom and fake diarehha (I so spelled that wrong). I took my phone in the bathroom, called my sis, held my breath so my face would turn read and my eyes would water, then came out holding my stomach. Funny how he came out of the mens room whos wall backed right up the the womens room at the exact same time, then went over to yell at the bus boy for cleaning off the table when he hadn't even paid the bill yet. WHO GOES TO THE BATHROOM AND LEAVES THE TABLE COMPLETELY EMPTY WITHOUT PAYING THE BILL FIRST?!!!!!! I told him I needed to go home because my stomach hurt. The next morning, at 5:30 am I got a text from him saying "If I would have known you were pregnant I would have taken you to Kroger for free food. You didn't have to pretend to like me." In my defense, I didn't pretend. It was pretty obvious, but thanks for the fat joke dude.

    The next guy I met on that same site I went out with one time. He stared at my stomach the entire time and asked repeatedly how much weight I want to lose....Oh, did I mention when he picked me up and I came around the corner, as soon as he saw me he hung his head and started walking the other direction?

    I have several more that I won't include. I have no idea why I just don't give a dang about dating right now. Weird, right?

    That is so freaking horrible. I've been on a few blind dates where I was extremely disappointed, but the girl never knew because we had a great time. I always took the pressure off though, so all that was expected was a good meal, good conversation, and maybe a nightcap. I'm so sorry you had to deal with idiots.
  • jilers
    jilers Posts: 94 Member
    After reading a bunch of worst date ever stories I decided to share - I am 45 and have gone on a slew of bad dates- one with him and his mother (he couldn'/t drive) I liked the mother. The guy could have gone. I made a second date witth him. I have a two date policy. I needed to change the day of the date because I was offered a job to do a show that night. He yelled at me as if I was breaking a 1st year anniversary date. Then years later he looked me up on a dating site. No thanks.

    Another 1st date was meeting with a guy who I was friends with in college. We had a nice time. We only had one date. The only reason we waited to get engaged so long was because on our families. If it was up to us we would have made it offical by week 5. Getting married in April. 26 years after meeting him.
  • cydonian
    cydonian Posts: 361 Member
    I once went out with a guy whose opening line was, "I know how to say 'blow me' in 26 languages". That was my cue to leave.

    Nearly choked on my water from laughing at this. LOL
  • I went on a date that was so bad that I finally just jumped in a taxi and went home. The worst part was that it took him 45 minutes to realize I was gone.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    I met a guy at a party back in college. He walked me home and kissed me. It was the worst kiss ever. It was almost violent the way he smashed my mouth. I not only felt no chemistry I just wanted a drink to numb my sore mouth. He then proceeded to stalk me for the next 6 years.

    2nd worst was after college I was working for a small company and a co-worker wanted to set me up on a blind date with a friend of his. After saying no a bunch of times I finally said OK. We decided that co worker and I would drive to a restaurant together where we would have dinner with his wife and their frined (my blind date.) As we were leaving work co-worker told me it would really be a blind date because his friend was blind. I was stunned. I wouldn't have minded if that little fact had been disclosed earlier but I didn't like that he waited until I was in the car on the way to the restaurant with no other option before he told me. It made for an extremely awkward evening. His wife called me at work the next day to apologize. What made it even worse was that the guy was really nice, a successful professional, educated, intelligent, and nice looking. If I hadn't been stunned and angry at being blitzed like that I think we might have hit it off.

    I can gather that it must have been really bad and awkward if the wife could tell and felt the need to phone you to apologize the next day.

    Yikes!
  • shawnscott5
    shawnscott5 Posts: 295 Member
    Many moons ago when cell phones were pretty new, my husband and I had separated. My friends decided to set me up on a date so that I could get "back into the game". After weeks of begging me I finally agreed. So I told them that I would meet him for breakfast. I get the the breakfast house, and as we are being seated his phone rings and he answers it. We sit down get coffee...yep phone rings again and he again takes the call. He then says he is sorry and that that was rude of him. Ok, I'm thinking...I will give you another chance. Again with the phone ringing and he answers just as the waitress is about to take our order, off she goes. Finally order breakfast, and we are talking and I am already getting mad. He again states that he was rude, says he is sorry again and he will turn it off. Food comes, phone rings again. While he is on the phone, I picked up my plate and coffee and went across to another table where some of my martial arts classmates were at and joined them. This guy had the balls to come over to the table where I was at and asked me what was wrong!! I said, "Oh I'm sorry, was that rude of me? Get lost"

    Thank Goodness, hubby and I worked everything out!!
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    I had a really nice date with a guy I'd met online, so I invited him over to watch a movie and have lunch one day. My ex was still in the habit of walking into the house whenever he felt like, so that was awkward when he decided to stop in, but then later the guy was kissing me, and I was trying to keep it at just that because I didn't want to rush into anything. He was wearing shorts, I was wearing yoga pants with flip flops. He kept pushing himself against me, and all the sudden I felt something wet plop on top of my foot. I was freaking out, but I didn't want to say anything to embarrass him! I could feel it soaking into the bottom of my pants, totally grossing me out.

    What....the.......****......
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    He wrote and sent porn to me, that was about me...in which he shaved my head.

    Did I mention that he still lived in his parents basement?

    Or that he'd never seen The Godfather.

    There wasn't a second date. Ugh, he hadn't seen the GODFATHER!
  • joeylu
    joeylu Posts: 208 Member
    I worked at an italian restaurant and one of my regulars asked me out. Our 1st date was okay, just coffee. Then next date we went out to breakfast which he again asked me out to and we split the $11.26check. WTF!!!!! I knew that was it for me
  • cygnetpro
    cygnetpro Posts: 419 Member
    Mine was sort of a two-fer. My first date with this numbskull was to a frat party. I went to get us each a beer, and when I turned around, he was slow dancing with some random girl! I walked out (took both beers with me! haha)..

    He called me for weeks, apologizing and begging for a second chance. I relented, and he took me to a movie. I probably was still holding a grudge, because he was really gorgeous, but I just felt no chemistry. He actually did that whole "yawn and stretch and put arm around girl" thing. I thought they only did that in movies, when they are making fun of cliches! It was all I could do not to start giggling.

    I ended the evening early, and turned down later dates with him. Not as awesomely bad as a lot that I've read on here, but I've never forgotten the cheesy arm move in the theater. :smile:
  • Adelphia
    Adelphia Posts: 176
    You know it's a bad date when you're having sex to Blood on the Dance Floor. :sick:
  • chelle4282
    chelle4282 Posts: 58 Member
    I went on a date with this guy who I met through some friends. After dinner, we wanted to go back to his place to "watch a movie". Unbeknownst to me, he had a pet bush baby (monkey type animal) that he let roam around his apartment. It was hopping around the living room when we got there.

    Then it hopped on my shoulder and bit my face. No joke.

    Luckily he was an EMT so he bandaged me up, but no movie was watched that night. Or ever.
  • My first date (also with my now husband- the only guy I ever dated)- we were out at Pizza Hut. With my mom...(seeing as we were a whopping 12 and 13, so neither of us could drive :))

    Anyway- We order our drinks, and we are all talking (actually, my mom was awesome. Always has been- even my hubby loves her and her craziness), and all of a sudden, he jerks, and spills his soda ALL down my shirt. Basically managed to cover my entire breasts and shirt with soda. He quickly grabs a napkin and goes to wipe it up. He then realizes just WHERE it spilled, puts his napkin down, and just puts his head down. Looking back, it was actually rather cute...



    (sorry for all of ()() this! I have a comma and parenthesis problem...)
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    He kept pushing himself against me, and all the sudden I felt something wet plop on top of my foot. I was freaking out, but I didn't want to say anything to embarrass him! I could feel it soaking into the bottom of my pants, totally grossing me out.

    Words. I have no words!!!
  • scoobydoojoe
    scoobydoojoe Posts: 31 Member
    Since you didn't say it had to be a first date, I will share mine.

    My GF at the time, had been dating a little while (married now) was turning 21. I had lost my license, but was eligible to get it back and just hadn't yet. (lost it for speeding a lot). Anyway, on her birthday was trying to take her out to eat at a nice restaurant in my hometown. Took my car, it was a stick, she couldn't drive a stick, so I drove. Got off the highway, and behind us is a town cop. As I pulled in to the restaurant, on came the lights. I was arrested and taken to jail, she was stuck with a car she couldn't drive in a town she wasn't from while I was carted off. She had to call my sister, who took her to the bank, where she had to use her rent money to bail me out of jail. I say had to, she choose to. Once I got out I was able to pay her right back. Then we were stuck in the town until the first week day so I could go before the judge.

    So, I ruined her 21st birthday, caused her all this grief. When she didn't run away, I knew I had the one for me. Happily married just shy of 9 years now. She does remind me often she is allowed to go to jail any time and I have to bail her out, and I am always careful to make every birthday as special as possible. :)

    And FYI, I was able to push the court date out a month at the first time, went and got my license back, then went back and the judge gave me a small fine because I did still have insurance and I hadn't done anything more than speeding in my life, so it all worked out in the end from just about every angle possible.
  • Some of these are pretty hilarious.

    My first date was what I thought was going to be a simple date to the movies. ONCE the movie started, he CONSTANTLY poked me, not even once, he would come at me with both hands and poke me like 10 times. Every time he poked me, he actually said poke too, which made it that more annoying. -__- He'd see my annoyed face and say sorry stop for a minute, and just when I thought he wasn't going to do it again.. he poked me again, or even better he'd tickle me to death - but the tickling hurt. I barely watched the movie because half the time I spent holding his hand so he wouldn't poke me anymore, and I really wanted to walk out on him but I'd have to walk home since I had no ride so I had to endure a long two hour movie with constant poking and attempted murderous tickling.

    I never thought my first date would be like that. I haven't had one since! hahahah
  • That explains it....he was a Vikings fan :)
  • catic
    catic Posts: 156
    I went on a date someone who told me he was a virgin, and he decided it was me that he wanted to have sex with fior the 1st time, on our first date, AFTER he took me "clubbing" b/c That's what people do on first dates, they hit a club. WTF!~ I had to endure him pawing at my like a 14 year old boy for the duration of the date.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member


    Did he pull a Justin Timberlake????

    Did he REALLY do what I think he did on your foot?!

    Yes! Ick. And HAHA! to j4nash. :smile:

    Oh my god! Maybe it's just me but I just don't see how other men manage this? I don't think I'd even get started never mind finished with all clothes on O_o
    [/quote]

    Really? Can I get your number?! :wink:
  • I met up with a guy for a first date at a coffee shop. We spent a couple hours playing board games and having great conversation. I really enjoyed the time.

    Two days later, I got an email from him that said: You seem really nice, but I don't think this will work out because you are a Green Bay Packer fan. Take care.

    I thought it was pretty odd, but quickly moved on with life.

    About 2 months later, I saw him at the grocery store. He was holding hands with another guy!

    That explains it....he was a Vikings fan :)
  • Adelphia
    Adelphia Posts: 176
    I went on a date someone who told me he was a virgin, and he decided it was me that he wanted to have sex with fior the 1st time, on our first date, AFTER he took me "clubbing" b/c That's what people do on first dates, they hit a club. WTF!~ I had to endure him pawing at my like a 14 year old boy for the duration of the date.
    I met one of those at a rave jdsghksdglskdg. He decided we were soulmates after one Skrillex show. Desperate virgins be cray. :noway:
  • rbryntes
    rbryntes Posts: 710 Member
    I know I posted this before, but I went on a date with a guy once, who spent the entire time trying to sell me on Amway.
  • slay0r
    slay0r Posts: 669 Member
    Some of these are pretty hilarious.

    My first date was what I thought was going to be a simple date to the movies. ONCE the movie started, he CONSTANTLY poked me, not even once, he would come at me with both hands and poke me like 10 times. Every time he poked me, he actually said poke too, which made it that more annoying. -__- He'd see my annoyed face and say sorry stop for a minute, and just when I thought he wasn't going to do it again.. he poked me again, or even better he'd tickle me to death - but the tickling hurt. I barely watched the movie because half the time I spent holding his hand so he wouldn't poke me anymore, and I really wanted to walk out on him but I'd have to walk home since I had no ride so I had to endure a long two hour movie with constant poking and attempted murderous tickling.

    I never thought my first date would be like that. I haven't had one since! hahahah

    Oh my..that's up there.

    Although his persistence paid off because you held his hand after hahaha
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