For the guys ... is ignoring the best way?

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  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

    Then what's the issue?
  • ClarkAddison
    ClarkAddison Posts: 86 Member
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    I've been married for a loooong time so this is all from memory. I was one of those guys that was totally clueless. If you ignored me I would not chase. Even if you didn't ignore me I wouldn't chase. I pretty much needed to be hit over the head with your intentions. So as others have said, it depends on the guy.
  • Chagama
    Chagama Posts: 543 Member
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    I've been married for a loooong time so this is all from memory. I was one of those guys that was totally clueless. If you ignored me I would not chase. Even if you didn't ignore me I wouldn't chase. I pretty much needed to be hit over the head with your intentions. So as others have said, it depends on the guy.
    I'll second that.
  • ClarkAddison
    ClarkAddison Posts: 86 Member
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    Here's the thing, when you're in your 30s, if a guy's not mature enough to put the games aside, he's not worth your time. I say, walk up to him say something like, "Hi. I think you're interesting and I want to get to know you better. Do you want to get together for some coffee or something?" Guys like instructions.

    We like them. We just won't ask for them. :laugh:
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Imo that is stupid advice.
  • raige123
    raige123 Posts: 352
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    He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

    Then what's the issue?

    Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.
  • paulwgun
    paulwgun Posts: 439 Member
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    I've been married for a loooong time so this is all from memory. I was one of those guys that was totally clueless. If you ignored me I would not chase. Even if you didn't ignore me I wouldn't chase. I pretty much needed to be hit over the head with your intentions. So as others have said, it depends on the guy.
    I'll second that.

    I'll third that :bigsmile:
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    If it matters to you, go head on and broach the topic. I did a little dance like this not too far back. Finally, we had a quasi-date. When it was over, we agreed to stay friends.
  • Princessbrene
    Princessbrene Posts: 112 Member
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    Well, I'm not a guy, and I really don't have any advice seeing as how I'm still single myself. However, I hear a lot of guys say they like an honest woman and someone who knows what she wants, but it has been my experience that when they find said woman they don't quite know what to do with her.
  • Sl1ghtly
    Sl1ghtly Posts: 855 Member
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    He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

    Then what's the issue?

    Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

    Hmm... It seems he's getting advice from the same people as you.
  • mnichol
    mnichol Posts: 642
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    Can I venture maybe he just wants to be friends? :frown: Its been my experience if a guy is interested in you, you'll know it, i'm sorry it sounds like your very frustrated with the situation.
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    Here's the thing, when you're in your 30s, if a guy's not mature enough to put the games aside, he's not worth your time. I say, walk up to him say something like, "Hi. I think you're interesting and I want to get to know you better. Do you want to get together for some coffee or something?" Guys like instructions.

    This! ^^ Guys might not admit it, but they like to have their ego stroked (yes, EGO!) every once in a while too.

    No guess work here, just plain and simple :)

    Go for it, girl! Woot!
  • caveats
    caveats Posts: 493 Member
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    I thought it sounded crazy but I have no game so was thinking I was maybe just clueless, lol.

    If you act like someone you're not, you're going to attract someone who likes her ... not you. And to keep him, you'll have to always be that "other self". That's just not fair -- not to him, and most importantly, not to you.

    Be yourself, and let the chips fall where they will. If you're honest with yourself, and you're honest with interactions with others, you'll attract who YOU want and who is good for YOU.
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
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    when i like a guy i tell them

    crazy i know
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    If said guy knows you're interested (for sure, as in you've told him as much OR have let him know in a very clear non-verbal way) and you're not sure of his feelings for you, I would assume, as mnichol said, that he may want to just be friends.

    When a guy is truly interested, you'll generally know without having to guess.
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
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    He knows I like him ... that is not as issue.

    Then what's the issue?

    Sometimes he seems interested ... other times he doesn't. It seems the more I talk to him, the more he backs off. The more I back off, the more he talks to me. So then my friends told me to just ignore him ... and I'm clueless. My thinking is if I ignore him, he'll think I'm no longer interested. I'm so confused.

    Hmm... It seems he's getting advice from the same people as you.

    LOL - sounds that way to me too.

    Just get it over with and ask the guy out if you like him. Like ripping off a band aid... it can be painful to put yourself out there - but in the end you'll have your answer good or bad. If he says yes - great! If he says no - chalk it up to his loss and move on. No more confusion.
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
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    So need some guy advice. A lot of my friends are telling me to ignore the guy I like to give him the option to "chase" me. Is this good advice or as ridiculous as it sounds. lol. If I ignore him, will he not lose interest?

    wthell? is this highschool?

    be straight up... games are stupid and get you no where.

    if a girl ignores me, i wont chase her ill just say whatever and move on.
  • Hernandeak11
    Hernandeak11 Posts: 351 Member
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    Every girl I know who does these kinds of things with men are in and out of relationships more times than I can count.

    I've been in an incredibly healthy relationship for quite some time, and I'm always forward, honest, and confident.
  • pixieakabigd
    pixieakabigd Posts: 69
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    Don't play games if you want to have a healthy relationship, just become good friends and see what happens! If you are just out for a bit of fun, go ahead!
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    Here's the thing, when you're in your 30s, if a guy's not mature enough to put the games aside, he's not worth your time. I say, walk up to him say something like, "Hi. I think you're interesting and I want to get to know you better. Do you want to get together for some coffee or something?" Guys like instructions.

    Oh Lord have mercy!!! If only there were instructions to the dating game!!!

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