Would you remain friends with someone that cheated?

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UponThisRock
UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
in Chit-Chat
If one of your friends cheated on their spouse, would you remain friends with them?

I wouldn't. A friend has to be someone I can trust. If they can't honor their marriage vows, there's no way I can trust them to honor whatever relationship we've built.

Depending on the circumstances, I wouldn't totally cut the person out of my life, but I would not longer consider them a "friend."
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Replies

  • RTricia
    RTricia Posts: 720
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    truth.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Yes.. and I have.

    If they've been my friend for a long time, I cherish them. We all make mistakes and if my friends dropped me when I made mistakes (because I've made some pretty big ones), I'd be all by my lonesome.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    There is no cookie cutter answer to this as it would depend on a lot of variables.
  • MandyMcAwesome
    MandyMcAwesome Posts: 109 Member
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    I agree. People make mistakes and we all deserve forgiveness.
  • rammsteinsoldier
    rammsteinsoldier Posts: 1,556 Member
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    I see what you mean by the trust issue but I wouldn't drop them from my life. The cheating is between my friend and their spouse. They would know I didn't approve but I am not one to judge others too harshly. I know I am not perfect by any means.
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
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    It is all to do with forgiveness and as I would have nothing to forgive because it did not concern me directly, then they would still be my friend. Besides which, I am no angel myself, I do not cheat on my hubby, but I have my faults make no mistake and I would hate for a friend to disown me because they considered me to be a liability in some way. In fact, if they thought that way, they are not a real friend anyway.
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    There are a lot of factors in this question. I think it would be case specific
  • woou
    woou Posts: 668 Member
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    Considering my dad cheated on my mom, definitely no. If someone can be disloyal to their spouse who they loved enough to marry, I don't really have faith in the person as a friend.

    I don't care what the circumstances are. If things aren't working, be responsible and break it off.

    I'm not perfect myself and don't expect my friends to be. Cheating is one of the few things I will not tolerate for any reason.
  • jrrflr
    jrrflr Posts: 109
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    No matter how much you think you know your closest friend, it is entirely possible that you are not aware of all the circumstances, feelings, and emotions that they experience in their relationship with their significant other. While trust in any relationship is a big concern, you can't apply a "one size fits all" solution to this question without knowing all the reasons which led to the cheat.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    It is all to do with forgiveness and as I would have nothing to forgive because it did not concern me directly, then they would still be my friend. Besides which, I am no angel myself, I do not cheat on my hubby, but I have my faults make no mistake and I would hate for a friend to disown me because they considered me to be a liability in some way. In fact, if they thought that way, they are not a real friend anyway.

    Would you still trust that friend?
  • sylvuz323
    sylvuz323 Posts: 468 Member
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    I guess I'd still remain friends with someone, if I came to find out that my name was being used as an alibi then I'd have problems with being put on the spot to lie for someone (which I wouldn't do). Every couple has their issues and that's for them to work out, besides some couples learn to get passed the cheating and do stay together.
  • SammyPacks
    SammyPacks Posts: 697 Member
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    I really don't approve of cheating, but I have had some bad friends who made bad choices, but they didn't cheat on me... though I understand where you are coming from. I don't approve and would distance myself or let it be known it was wrong and tell them straight up, but I wouldn't drop the person completely
  • giggles1973
    giggles1973 Posts: 143 Member
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    Probably... I took a vow when I married my husband whom I would NEVER cheat on. But I didn't take a vow to any of my friends. They would know that I don't approve but friendship is different then a marriage :) I LOVE my friends and I'm there to be just that... A friend. I don't judge as I know they don't judge me when and if I mess up :)
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    It is all to do with forgiveness and as I would have nothing to forgive because it did not concern me directly, then they would still be my friend. Besides which, I am no angel myself, I do not cheat on my hubby, but I have my faults make no mistake and I would hate for a friend to disown me because they considered me to be a liability in some way. In fact, if they thought that way, they are not a real friend anyway.

    Would you still trust that friend?

    Yes.
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
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    I would...people make mistakes...You never know the whole story as to what is going on behind closed doors. I would still trust that person as well because they didn't do anything to ME by cheating on their spouse. Just my opinion, maybe I'm a sucker lol
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    I would...people make mistakes...You never know the whole story as to what is going on behind closed doors. I would still trust that person as well because they didn't do anything to ME by cheating on their spouse. Just my opinion, maybe I'm a sucker lol

    What about marrying a man that cheated on his last spouse?
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
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    Well that's a hard one to fathom because I'm already married to man who wasn't previously married so I'm not sure. The heart wants what it wants...If I was trully in love with a man who had made mistakes in the past I think I would marry him anyways..but I suppose it would depend on what had gone on in the previous marriage. I'm just lucky I found one without baggage! lol
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    A TRUE friend will be there for better or worse !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we are not perfect people and sometimes we do things that we may not be proud of but these are the times when we needs our friends the most !!!! Turning your back doesnt show friendship it shows a judgemental person. WHo are we to judge others ??? They have to answer to the man above not us !!!!!!!!!
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
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    While I trust my friend's opinions and want their input, I also hope that they respect my choices in life.

    I in turn would not judge a friend for cheating. I would try to be there for them, offer my advice, but ultimately, I would respect their decision.

    If they were doing something that could harm them or another person physically, then I would intervene.

    Although if the cheating became a habit, I think I would probably reevaluate the friendship.
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
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    I would and I have. And yes I still trust them, probably even more so now b/c all of it was confided to me. And I do not judge, that is their relationship, not mine.

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