How do you tell someone they're not quite there yet....

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katemiddletonisawesome
katemiddletonisawesome Posts: 152 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have this coworker who after seeing me drop about 30 pounds decided to go on a diet and get back to the gym. So far, I think she's lost about 6 or 7 pounds, but she's not serious about it (example - eating Reese's peanut butter cups at her desk, chowing down on a salad that was mostly dressing - and not lowfat, going to the gym one day a week to flirt with her trainer and skipping it the other 6 days a week, etc.)

Now, I'm not claiming to be a fitness or nutrition guru, but I know what I'm doing when it comes to weight loss. Also, I'm not a fashion expert, but I know when your clothes don't fit.

Well... she's fully convinced that she doesn't have a stomach anymore and that she's the same size as me..... I weigh at least 50 pounds less and I promise you, her stomach hasn't changed at all except to expand outwards.

How do I tell this chick to get off her high-horse and get serious without making her cry? (she's bipolar and tends to be quick with her emotions)
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Replies

  • Tamstar1985
    Tamstar1985 Posts: 334 Member
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    it's hard to say anything in that situation, at least directly.

    perhaps you could suggest doing some activities together? like, during lunch break, go for a brisk walk. and then use that time to talk about your respective diets and such, offering constructive criticism in the process? or you could introduce her to several health and fitness websites (this one included). in her own time, she could slowly educate herself on the weight loss process.

    maybe keep some fruits at your desk, and when you see her nomming reese's or whatever, say "hey would you like an apple instead? it'll keep you full longer and really is much more satisfying."

    for the clothes not fitting thing, though, that's a really touchy subject! i honestly wouldn't touch that with a 40 ft pool, even if she looks like the clothes are painted on her body x_X;;;
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    If she's happy with herself, who cares?
  • f15htank
    f15htank Posts: 33 Member
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    shrug. just leave it alone?
  • Shriffee
    Shriffee Posts: 250 Member
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    If she's happy with herself, who cares?

    Exactly.
  • KristalDawnO
    KristalDawnO Posts: 154 Member
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    Just don't say anything. She feels good about herself, so let her! She can make the change when she's ready :)
  • PrincessLou71186
    PrincessLou71186 Posts: 747 Member
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    If you want to help her then suggest you go to the gym together, tell her how much you have lost and how you did it etc.

    If you aren't wanting to help her then leave her to it. She isn't hurting anyone and she's happy.

    Personally though I would tell her straight, if I were to say anything at all.
  • maidentl
    maidentl Posts: 3,203 Member
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    How do I tell this chick to get off her high-horse and get serious without making her cry? (she's bipolar and tends to be quick with her emotions)

    Personally, I don't think it's your responsibility to tell her anything. Just let it go.
  • katemiddletonisawesome
    katemiddletonisawesome Posts: 152 Member
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    She's going to be performing in less than a month and she showed me her outfit for her performance. I know how harsh critics can be and I don't want her to hear it from the wrong person. But the constant in my face - look how awesome I am - is really making her ego hard to take.
  • Jewels_Ka
    Jewels_Ka Posts: 67 Member
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    Hahaha, just the way you just did : get off your high-horse and get serious!!! and if she turns coo coo on you. thats ok. she will cry it out and move on. Maybe end up at the gym more often and gives up on thouse chocolate treats....
  • katemiddletonisawesome
    katemiddletonisawesome Posts: 152 Member
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    Maiden - I love your ticker.
  • madameduffay
    madameduffay Posts: 166 Member
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    I wouldn't say anything. I know it is probably a bit annoying that she compares herself to you, but if you can, just shrug it off.

    It's her issue, not yours.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
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    well mind your own business. She feel good.....why not let her?
  • katemiddletonisawesome
    katemiddletonisawesome Posts: 152 Member
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    Hahaha, just the way you just did : get off your high-horse and get serious!!! and if she turns coo coo on you. thats ok. she will cry it out and move on. Maybe end up at the gym more often and gives up on thouse chocolate treats....

    LOL!!! I was worried it was too harsh, but ok. Will do.

    I really hate when "friends" aren't honest with each other and not telling her how bad she's going to look up there would be me not being honest. If I look fat, tell me I look fat. That's how I got so big in the first place - too many people trying to be nice and no one was willing to rip the fork out of my hand.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I agree with the people who think you should just leave it. There is no kind way to say it, so you're best to just remain quiet.
  • kyrstensmom
    kyrstensmom Posts: 297 Member
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    Just be thankful that you are where you are and not where she is. Unless you two are good friends (and it doesn't sound like you are), its not your place to say anything. Let her be happy. Try to put yourself in her shoes and remember how you were before you made this life-altering change. Be supportive and kind, anything else is just mean.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Punch her in the gut and call her fatty pants






    or...I guess you could just let it go.
  • ErrataCorrige
    ErrataCorrige Posts: 649 Member
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    If someone came on here and complained that after working really hard and losing 6-7 pounds, one of her co-workers (who is close to her size) started lecturing her about "how she is doing everything right, while I am doing everything wrong", what would you say?

    Because in her eyes, this would be the situation.

    Just don't say anything.

    You won't open her eyes, you will only make her mad at you, and possibly feel bad about herself.

    No win.
  • DisneyMommy
    DisneyMommy Posts: 281
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    Do what I did, take her on Space Mountain at Disneyland. This happened w/a friend of mine who swore we were the same size even though I am a good 100 lbs smaller than she is. They have individual lap bars on this attraction. So I pulled mine way down to my lap, about 7 inches lower than she got her's. She looked at me and said, "Wow, you really are way smaller than me." She still kids about it.

    Good luck w/your co-worker.
  • MaximalLife
    MaximalLife Posts: 2,447 Member
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    How do I tell this chick to get off her high-horse and get serious without making her cry? (she's bipolar and tends to be quick with her emotions)
    See?
    This is where I run into so much trouble.
    People post pics of themselves which denote great improvement, yet, they still look bad.
    And the estrogen echo chamber is busy with "you go girl" and "you look sexy" when they do NOT!

    I always fall into the camp of truth - objective reality.
    Here is the disconnect.
    Are they consulting you? If so, be honest, but if not, hold your peace.

    Or invite her to MFP, and have her post her bikini pics - :noway:
  • kylesmommy89
    kylesmommy89 Posts: 356 Member
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    I would mind my own business...It's her body, not yours so who cares??? Unless she asks you for advice, don't give it!

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