Would you remain friends with someone that cheated?

HAIL to the NO!

yup, we all make mistakes and need forgiveness...

^^this! My ex-husband not only cheated, he conceived a child. He has to pay for his mistakes, not me. I'm not one to hold a grudge and we are actually friends now.

Depends on a lot of things so I can't definitely say "yes" or "no." Life--and love--is not always as black and white as we'd like it to be.

Depends

I know this is hard to believe... but people are HUMAN... and HUMANS are WEAK. There are temptations all around us, and sometimes those WEAK HUMANS (yes... that's what we all are to a degree because we have an animalistic instinct just like any other "animal" on this planet) give in to such temptations.

So no... I would not judge my friends for cheating... however... I would try my best to find out WHY because there is almost always something underlying or amiss in the relationship if it comes down to that. If I'm a good friend... I will be there for them and do my best to see what's going on emotionally, etc.

sh** happens in life... forgive but never forget. Now... like someone else said... if they're using me as an alibi and I find out... you're outta here!

I personally think cheating is one of the worst things you can possibly do to someone. I would never do it and regardless of what is going on in the relationship, IT IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE!!!!!!! Having said that, all my friends know I feel this way. I don't know that I would end a true friendship if they cheated on their spouse but they would be very well aware of how I felt about it and I would encourage them to come clean.


The best person to discuss relationship problems with is the person you're in the relationship with!

he without sin/fault cast the first stone!!!

If one of your friends cheated on their spouse, would you remain friends with them?

I wouldn't. A friend has to be someone I can trust. If they can't honor their marriage vows, there's no way I can trust them to honor whatever relationship we've built.

Depending on the circumstances, I wouldn't totally cut the person out of my life, but I would not longer consider them a "friend."

I wouldn't say I wouldn't be their friend anymore, but, seeing them betray the most sacred trust like that, would make it more difficult for me to trust them like I did before. Also, it would largely depend on whether or not there seemed to be any sincere remorse for what they had done, and if they confessed to the affair themselves or if they were found out. To me, it's hard to know for sure if a person is TRULY sorry for what they have done when they've been caught redhanded and couldn't deny the wrongdoing if they wanted to do so. I mean, are they REALLY sorry for what they did, or are they just sorry they got caught. Would they have broken off the affair on their own if they hadn't been caught? Or would it have continued indefinitely? You can't ever be sure in that situation, so it takes longer for a person to earn back trust under those circumstances. Hope that makes sense the way I've written it. In any case, forgiveness should be given freely, but trust is EARNED.

To those who would say, "Well, it's not me they cheated on. It shouldn't affect my friendship with them or my trust in them." All I can say is, if they betrayed the trust of their spouse, the ONE person to whom they've vowed to be faithful until death, what's to keep them from betraying your trust and being disloyal to you, who are merely their friend and to whom they've made no vow of loyalty?

What I don't get is people who think it's ok for someone in a "bad" relationship to cheat! Really? Why doesn't that person just end the bad relationship and move on with their lives? There are several excuses but none are really valid as far as I'm concerned. Either stay in the relationship you're in and work on improving it or get the hell out. Maybe it's too hard for me to understand because (let's go with the extreme) I've never been in a severely abusive relationship but wouldn't cheating just bring on more stress and drama? Wouldn't it be easier to leave that person and THEN find someone new?

I've actually had the experience where a friend cheated on her husband. I was also really good friends with her hubby so it was a really tough situation for me to be in. I tried to be a good friend and keep her secret and still hang out with her and all that but I just couldn't do it after a while. i was losing sleep and I was completely stressed out about the whole thing. In my mind & heart, it was the same as my sister-in-law cheating on my brother - my loyalties were divided. After about 6 months, I ended the friendship because it was all too much for me. The best advice I got was from my brother - you may not be able to pick your family but you can choose who your friends are. And in this case, I no longer chose to be friends with this woman.

However, since she was part of my circle of friends, I had to be around her, and after a couple of years we ended up reconciling. It was tough for a while but we got past it. Our relationship has never been what it used to be but I still love her like a sister.

ETA: On the other hand, I used to work with a woman who cheated on her husband and while I let her know straight up that I disapproved and thought she should stop for the sake of her kids, herself and her husband, I still hung out with her now and then. Then again, I had to see her every day at work so it's not like I could completely cut ties with her. What I'm trying to say though is I think it depends, for me, on how closely tied I am to the couple.

Of course I would. Each and everyone of us makes mistakes daily...some small some life altering but everyone deserves respect and reverence despite their shortcomings.

Can I ask this question? Would you all be friends or hang around people who robbed a bank, murdered someone or their family, was a serious crack head/herion addict? My point is, why do you have to judge a person or be wrong, if you simply choose not to be involved with that character? I'm not saying my boy who started the thread is right or wrong OR that I agree or disagree w/ him....but damn, it's his decision...just like its your decision to do what you want to do? If you choose to hang around the robber, the murderer, and the addict b/c they are not doing harm to you, than more power to YOU!

Agreed. I'm not hanging out with drug dealers because I don't want to be around people like that who make choices like that. I wouldn't want to hang around child molesters, rapists, women beaters, *kitten* in general, etc.

Everyone who says they don't judge are full of crap. EVERYONE judges. If I knew one of my friends were cheating on their spouse, I would lose respect for them. There is never an excuse for cheating. End the relationship. Just because you aren't in love or whatever, doesn't excuse you to just go cheat. Cheating is selfish and people do it so they can have their cake and eat it too. Cheating destroys trust, self esteem, self worth, and crushes everyone involved. You can come up with whatever excuse you want to help you sleep at night, but when it comes down to it, you didn't have the guts to end your relationship before getting involved with someone else. And yes...I will judge you for it because I don't believe in God and don't throw out some disclaimer that only God can judge.

Not to mention that, in MOST cases, it's not usually the one who is being treated like crap in the relationship who does the cheating. It's usually the abuser/jerk who does the cheating. At least, in my personal experience, anyway. (My parents' marriage, my marriage, my aunt's/uncle's marriages, close friends, etc...)

How judgemental this thread is.

For what it is worth, if anybody were to judge me the way some are judging situations on here and would just disown me because they did not consider something I had done to their own satisfaction, then I would not want them as a "friend" anyway.

AGREE!!!!!!!!

totally agree!

NO! NEVER EVER!

for all the people saying things like this (no, never), I call bullsh*t. What if it were your sister or brother or child who cheated on their spouse? written off? I doubt it. never say never.

I have a much more strained relationship with my sister since she cheated on her husband, which was something like 8 years ago... Same with my mother. I don't know that she cheated on my dad, or my stepdad, but I'm fairly sure she did, and that was 12+ years ago. It really bothers me still.

I continue to love both of these people, because they are my family, but there is quite a bit of distance between them and me since.

that makes sense, I wouldn't say I respect the decisions my friends/family have made to cheat at all, it's kind of sad actually...but this is the world that we live in and I love them for other reasons

If one of your friends cheated on their spouse, would you remain friends with them?

I wouldn't. A friend has to be someone I can trust. If they can't honor their marriage vows, there's no way I can trust them to honor whatever relationship we've built.

Depending on the circumstances, I wouldn't totally cut the person out of my life, but I would not longer consider them a "friend."

Lol, I think there's a difference between trust of friends and trust in marriage. There's an old saying "if you treated your friends like your spouse, you wouldn't have many friends". Meaning many people treat their friends much better than their spouses and may do more for them too. This is totally subjective, but I have 2 great friends that have cheated on their spouses, are still with them and is are great fathers to their kids. I've never had any issue with distrust with either of them and have had them both go to the wall for me.


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