Dr. Phil - Open Marriage

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  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
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    Me an my husband do not really have an open marrige,i have no desire to be with another man,but I can be with any girl i want lol
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    I have several polyamorous friends. Seems like it works for them very well. In fact, it makes more sense in a way, because they have an "extended family" who all look after one another... far less risky than the traditional "put all your eggs in one basket" approach in many respects.
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
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    Each to their own. If it works for them, that is good. It isn't for everyone, and it isn't for me.

    But honestly, who am I to judge?
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    I have a couple of friends in open marriages. Works for them just fine.

    Most of the time when they tell me stories my face is like: :noway:
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,704 Member
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    Why bother to get married then?
    Tax reasons.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
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    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,704 Member
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    Lol, many married people out there now have sexual relationships other than they partner in secret. Anyone ever hear of a massage parlor?
    If it is working for them, who cares? Morality for others will never equal what how some view morality should be.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • opaulk
    opaulk Posts: 3 Member
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    bump
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    Why bother to get married then?

    Thank you!! Marriage means you will love honor and sleep with that one person the rest of your life.. If you dont get the commitement than dont get married! Ugh this world we live in these days I dont get it.. The idea of my husband touching and being inside another woman makes my skin crawl no i dont want you porking other woman than coming home to me no thanks..

    The people that I know that have open marriages - it doesn't work quite the way you said it. For each of the couples I know that do this, it is a very intimate part of their lives and it is done together, not as an affair where they leave the house, pick up some random person and then come home to their spouse. In fact, each couple I know has this as a rule that cannot be done, it is considered cheating and infidelity. I couldn't do it personally, quite honestly, I couldn't ever trust anyone enough to try.
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
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    Monogamy doesn't work for me. I have a lot of needs, wants, and desires. I like meeting new people and having different experiences, learning from those I meet. Anyone who gets with me will also have a large personality (otherwise we won't "click") with their own needs. The communication is also a lot better, with lack of jealousy, fill of acceptance and no judgement. It makes the sex with the main partner SO much better.
    From the beginning I am very clear about the fact that I am an open type. If they can't handle that, it goes no further.
  • tinksmommy2006
    tinksmommy2006 Posts: 575
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    I didn't watch either but to each their own.

    My husband asks if he can have a second wife all the time. I say if she cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids and him.... I am all for it!

    ^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^
  • skinnyminibeckbeck
    skinnyminibeckbeck Posts: 3
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    I was SICKENED by the notion that their kids were a part of it!!! They were involved in the lives of their sex partners. Fully aware of what lifestyle they lead. Life is confusing enough for kids as it is. Do your thing...whatever...but leave the kids out of it. SO...yeah...she sat down with her 11 year-old daughter to watch porn...so that she could explain it to her!??! Puh-lease. I have an 11 year-old daughter...we've had and will continue to have healthy conversations about sex...NO VIDEO required! Yeesh...
  • recriger
    recriger Posts: 245 Member
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    Why bother to get married then?

    Thank you!! Marriage means you will love honor and sleep with that one person the rest of your life.. If you dont get the commitement than dont get married! Ugh this world we live in these days I dont get it.. The idea of my husband touching and being inside another woman makes my skin crawl no i dont want you porking other woman than coming home to me no thanks..

    There's nothing in the vow of marriage about sleeping with only one person. It's only part of the vow of marriage if that's the commitment you make to one another. Marriage is about commitment to each other that runs much greater than sex. Not to mention a legal commitment. So there's plenty of reason to marry someone even if both parties agree that they want to be intimate with other people.

    And lets not pretend like polygamy is something new. Back in biblical times, it was common for men to have multiple wives. So it's not exactly new or shocking.

    Like I said in my other post, it's certainly something that's not for most people (myself included), but as long as all people involved are consenting, I don't think their lifestyle is any less valid than mine.

    From what I understand the "Vow" is simply the part you say "In front of God and these witnesses". Quick Google on Traditional vows finds these:

    "Forsaking all others, till death do us part."
    or
    "faithfully keep to her/him alone, so long as you both shall live?"
    or
    "and to that I pledge you my faithfulness. "
    or
    "and I promise to love you, and to be faithful to you as long as we both shall live."

    Obviously you don't have to have these specific statements in your vows. But not sleeping with others is exactly what these say. Personally I've never been to a wedding, including one in a judges chamber, where some type of "Forsaking all others" was not in the vow. Yeah, you don't sign a paper with these words on it, but the word "swear" indicates a promise.
  • BeingWiser
    BeingWiser Posts: 65
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    We all make our way through life as best we can. If everyone is on board, I fail to see the problem.
    What's right for some may not be for others, but that doesn't make it wrong.

    I so agree with this post!!!
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
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    Whatever works for them. But, often times these kind of arrangements end when someone falls in love with someone other than their spouse. As long as they are aware of the pitfalls and consequence WTH?
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    Why bother to get married then?

    Thank you!! Marriage means you will love honor and sleep with that one person the rest of your life.. If you dont get the commitement than dont get married! Ugh this world we live in these days I dont get it.. The idea of my husband touching and being inside another woman makes my skin crawl no i dont want you porking other woman than coming home to me no thanks..

    Where does it say this??? I didn't realize there were rules when it comes to a couples sex life. If they are a happy couple and their success is based on an open sex life, who are you to judge?
  • thedeegan4
    thedeegan4 Posts: 422 Member
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    The fact that she watches porn with her 11 year old daughter is what bothered me the most. I hope she's ready to be a grandma soon.
  • kaileen76
    kaileen76 Posts: 11 Member
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    The one thing that flusters me about open marriage is where do they find the time for 2 relationships?
  • tilliesmom9
    tilliesmom9 Posts: 47
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    No marriage is the same. We don't have an open marriage...just a ...uh...fun marriage. Whatever the label is, it works for us.
  • HeatherMN
    HeatherMN Posts: 3,821 Member
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    Why bother to get married then?

    Exactly!
  • alecta337
    alecta337 Posts: 622 Member
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    I didn't watch either but to each their own.

    My husband asks if he can have a second wife all the time. I say if she cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids and him.... I am all for it!

    I say this to my bf too. She can cook, clean, but no sexy stuff. So basically a maid we don't pay. lol

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