girls who hit on guys who are taken (or vice versa)

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Replies

  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    It all depends on the intent behind the flirting (for me). If you see the person is in a committed relationship and that doesn't deter you at all from trying to wiggle your way into the equation. I would question your morals (judgmental, but true). HOWEVER, if you are just being friendly, maybe a little too friendly, but still draw the line.. I'm somewhat okay. At that point, it's the person who is in a relationship responsibility to draw the boundries... nothing wrong with letting a compliment give your ego a boost, but out of respect to your partner you need to draw the line.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Actually I think it's flattering when other girls hit on my boyfriend :) I know it won't lead to anything, and he's coming home with me, so it's all good in my book.

    That said, if someone is still trying to get into his pants WHEN I'm standing right there or obviously knows about me, I think it's pretty disrespectful. I believe in karma - what goes around, comes around.

    And here's the thing - If the guy you're after is with someone and you manage to snag him, what makes you think he won't do the same thing to YOU, if another girl pulls the stunt you did?
  • 412HeavyLifter
    412HeavyLifter Posts: 170 Member
    It all depends on the intent behind the flirting (for me). If you see the person is in a committed relationship and that doesn't deter you at all from trying to wiggle your way into the equation. I would question your morals (judgmental, but true). HOWEVER, if you are just being friendly, maybe a little too friendly, but still draw the line.. I'm somewhat okay. At that point, it's the person who is in a relationship responsibility to draw the boundries... nothing wrong with letting a compliment give your ego a boost, but out of respect to your partner you need to draw the line.
    Amen!
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    Some people don't know when to stop. I've had a few people hit on me and I've said I'm taken and they will continue flirting and say things along the lines that "That makes me even hornier and want you more and its bad and naughty :wink: " (as in the girl saying it). Some people outside relationships are just as bad.
  • MFPAddict
    MFPAddict Posts: 2,069 Member
    The following song addresses this situation perfectly.

    "I gotta man"

    "What's that got to do with me?" :tongue:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvYIpa1Ulvw
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member

    And here's the thing - If the guy you're after is with someone and you manage to snag him, what makes you think he won't do the same thing to YOU, if another girl pulls the stunt you did?

    YES!!! If someone is willing to sneak around with you.. then you can bet, they will sneak around on you. I will never understand why someone who was once "the other person" is all shocked and surprised when the tables are turned and they end up being the victum later on.
  • shanlynt
    shanlynt Posts: 718 Member
    I wouldn't complain if one of the daycare Dads asked me over for a playdate without my kid. Just sayin':wink:
  • _greeneyedgirl_
    _greeneyedgirl_ Posts: 84
    I'm trying to do more than hit ......lol. I love you baby

    Love you too.
  • MaryPhillips90
    MaryPhillips90 Posts: 236 Member
    Flirting isn't THAT big of a deal, but I've always wondered this when it gets serious.
    Just say a lady comes up to my husband (and he is wearing his ring) and is all on him and he accepts, then I would be mad at him.
    I certainly wouldn't want to beat HER up, I would want to beat HIM up because he is the one betraying. The lady is just being a slut, and sometimes there is nothing wrong with getting what you want.
  • lizzue
    lizzue Posts: 276 Member
    I am a flirt and like to think its just a bit of banter because I know what I go home to at night is the BEST! I work with a lot of blokes and half the women in the office (even tho married) are sleeping with him just because they show interest.

    Getting hit on and having a flirt are two separate things. I would never hit on someone and I think I would feel awkward if someone was hitting on me.

    But it has been so long since I was being hit on I wouldnt know! :-)

    Its all down to respect for yourself and others. x
  • CardiacNP
    CardiacNP Posts: 554 Member
    I agree. I am a flirt or at least try to be.
  • MaryPhillips90
    MaryPhillips90 Posts: 236 Member

    And here's the thing - If the guy you're after is with someone and you manage to snag him, what makes you think he won't do the same thing to YOU, if another girl pulls the stunt you did?

    YES!!! If someone is willing to sneak around with you.. then you can bet, they will sneak around on you. I will never understand why someone who was once "the other person" is all shocked and surprised when the tables are turned and they end up being the victum later on.

    Well, I cheated on ALL of my boyfriends with my (now) husband and I wouldn't DREAM of cheating on him.
    So this isn't always true...
  • kimmie0627
    kimmie0627 Posts: 111 Member
    Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.

    If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.

    If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.

    This exactly. I talk to men when I'm out with the girls - all innocent. I talk to men when I'm with my husband too and he talks to women... mostly it's people we already know, but if a man hit on me when my husband was say in the bathroom, he'd probably just be amused. It's about boundaries and trust. My husband knows I would never allow someone to cross the line and vice versa. If someone is "hitting" on me I make it clear I am married and have no interest in anything more than a conversation and some laughs - all of which my husband would be OK with. Sometimes the guy will then take off, but often they hang out still... even ask for advice after about approaching the single girl across the bar. Most men are decent and respectful once you make it understood you are taken and not interested. My husband will talk to anyone... he's just that friendly type, so him talking with women wouldn't/doesn't bother me. If a woman tried to cross the line with him I know he would take care of it himself immediately. I trust him 100%. That's really what it's all about.

    My husband and i are the same way. I am "flirty" by nature and everyone we know are aware of it. That is just how I am. I mean nothing by it. We trust each other and it has never been an issue, nor do I see it being an issue.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    If someone hits on someone who they KNOW are in a relationship they are in the wrong.

    That being said, if you are in a relationship and "allow" the hitting, by flirting back ect, you are also in the wrong.

    Just my opinion.

    I am all kinds of wrong. In so many ways. And i'm okay with it. :smooched:
  • MomsTooBig
    MomsTooBig Posts: 201 Member
    One : YES! Most definitely. If you know someone is taken, then leave it alone!

    Two: BOTH parties are wrong.

    This is what killed my marriage, so I speak from experience.

    Tracy
  • Jipples
    Jipples Posts: 650 Member
    what constitutes hitting on? I flirt all the time.
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
    One: Is this wrong?

    Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?

    Opinions.

    Depends. Does the person doing the hitting know up front that the other person is spoken for? If not, there is nothing wrong with it until they find out and continue with the flirting anyway. On the other hand, if they don't know and the other person doesn't tell them otherwise, thereby allowing the flirtation to continue, the person being hit on is in the wrong. At least, that's how I see it anyway. I'm crushing on someone right now, but I haven't really done any flirting because I want to know for sure if he is spoken for in any way before I proceed. Personally, I would be mortified if I was hitting on someone, then found out they were married or even had a girlfriend. I usually take a glance at the left ring finger to see if he's wearing a ring, but I've found out the hard way that this doesn't always mean he's single.
  • lizzue
    lizzue Posts: 276 Member

    And here's the thing - If the guy you're after is with someone and you manage to snag him, what makes you think he won't do the same thing to YOU, if another girl pulls the stunt you did?

    YES!!! If someone is willing to sneak around with you.. then you can bet, they will sneak around on you. I will never understand why someone who was once "the other person" is all shocked and surprised when the tables are turned and they end up being the victum later on.

    Well, I cheated on ALL of my boyfriends with my (now) husband and I wouldn't DREAM of cheating on him.
    So this isn't always true...



    AGREED!!! Exactly the same and I wouldnt dream of it now! x
  • AliciaLucas_72
    AliciaLucas_72 Posts: 112 Member
    One: Is this wrong?

    Two: If it is, who is at fault? The person who does the hitting, or the person who allows themself to be hit on?

    Opinions.

    How does someone ALLOW themselves to be hit on? You are either hit on or not, you can't control whether or someon hits on you you control how you react to that action.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    I think people are veering off in two directions here. Flirting (which is harmless) or hitting on (as in trying to taking things on beyond a harmless giggle).

    What are we talking about?
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
    I certainly wouldn't want to beat HER up, I would want to beat HIM up because he is the one betraying. The lady is just being a slut, and sometimes there is nothing wrong with getting what you want.

    I don't know.. I see what you are saying, since he's the one that made the commitment to you. However, I have no respect for a theif who's trying to steal what I have, being it my material items, or my relationship. I would not lower myself to fighting her, but I would not say she's free from blame. Though, if he's willing to cheat there must be underlying issues in the relationship that she just brought to a head.
  • kassandra81
    kassandra81 Posts: 176
    I think people have their own idea of what constitutes taking it too far. I have no problem complimenting women or men and being flirty about it. It is what it is, I'm not taking them home.
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    I don't know.. I see what you are saying, since he's the one that made the commitment to you. However, I have no respect for a theif who's trying to steal what I have, being it my material items, or my relationship. I would not lower myself to fighting her, but I would not say she's free from blame. Though, if he's willing to cheat there must be underlying issues in the relationship that she just brought to a head.

    I'd agree with this. My misses ex-FWB contacted her a year or so after we'd got together and despite being told repeatedly she was with me, kept trying to get in her knickers when I was away. She showed no interest but he kept hitting on.

    In this case, I'd want to batter the living **** out of him given the chance for trying it on (not that I would, I'd want to tho!).
  • Silver_Eagle
    Silver_Eagle Posts: 5
    Nothing wrong with the hitting...it's the accepting that's wrong.
    Nothing is wrong with hitting? Isn't there a moral problem with respecting boundaries?

    Absolutely wrong! All you have to do is read the Bible. It even tells you why it"s wrong.
  • shellimus
    shellimus Posts: 158 Member
    Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.

    If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.

    If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.

    I agree with this.
  • darylinny
    darylinny Posts: 146
    Okay here's where the line SHOULD be drawn in my opinion.

    If you wouldn't be comfortable with your spouse being next to you while this person is flirting/hitting on you, you've gone too far.

    If you wouldn't feel comfortable if the person you are hitting on/flirting with had their spouse next to them.

    Agree with you 100%. My husband is a natural flirt and does it in a fun way where no one is uncomfortable. And for the record, he does it when the spouses are present too!!
  • carrie1013
    carrie1013 Posts: 129
    I dont see anything wrong with flirting... my husband and I are both flirts, but it's all in fun. I have no intention of jumping in the sack with someone other than my husband. You have to know your own boudaries, and know what you are comfortable with. If you are doing anything that you wont tell your significant other about, then it's probably wrong.
  • MissVCI
    MissVCI Posts: 277 Member
    [/quote]

    Given that this was posted under the "fun and games" section of the messages boards, I would imagine that a lot written isn't meant to be taken completely literally. I'm completely aware that it's not a deciding factor of living and non-living; "dead" meaning you are still able to appreciate someone that's easy on the eyes; just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that appreciation goes away. I don't think commenting offhand on it, or flirting, is a bad thing. Obviously it will vary person to person, and like other people have said it all depends on your comfort level, but I don't think it comes down to black and white, right and wrong.

    Despicable? Wow. I guess I'm despicable then.
    [/quote]Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.

    [/quote]

    I couldn't help but roll my eyes at this statement. People are taking this so seriously when i figured it would spark a fun debate, not dive into ethical issues. I'm surprised by all the negative and mean responses. And really your comparingthe someone posting a rant about anti-semitism to flirting GET REAL. (and i'm pretty sure that topic would get deleted)

    for the record I think it is totally okay to flirt if you are taken. It's just flirting. You flirt with your clothes on! It's once the clothes come off that it is wrong.
    But flirting if you are taken is fine, I for one would never get into a relationship with a guy who would get mad if other guys flirted with me. But i've been lucky all my boyfriends love it when other men hit on me because it makes them feel like a stud.

    but people LIGHTEN UP!!
  • KimmieBrie
    KimmieBrie Posts: 825 Member
    I certainly wouldn't want to beat HER up, I would want to beat HIM up because he is the one betraying. The lady is just being a slut, and sometimes there is nothing wrong with getting what you want.

    I don't know.. I see what you are saying, since he's the one that made the commitment to you. However, I have no respect for a theif who's trying to steal what I have, being it my material items, or my relationship. I would not lower myself to fighting her, but I would not say she's free from blame. Though, if he's willing to cheat there must be underlying issues in the relationship that she just brought to a head.

    A thief? ... if your spouse can be "stolen" they weren't "yours" to begin with... we're people with minds of our own not inanimate helpless objects.
  • CardiacNP
    CardiacNP Posts: 554 Member
    WORD!!!


    Given that this was posted under the "fun and games" section of the messages boards, I would imagine that a lot written isn't meant to be taken completely literally. I'm completely aware that it's not a deciding factor of living and non-living; "dead" meaning you are still able to appreciate someone that's easy on the eyes; just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that appreciation goes away. I don't think commenting offhand on it, or flirting, is a bad thing. Obviously it will vary person to person, and like other people have said it all depends on your comfort level, but I don't think it comes down to black and white, right and wrong.

    Despicable? Wow. I guess I'm despicable then.
    [/quote]Hmm, so if someone posted a horrendous rant about anti-semitism and the Holocaust, that would totally be dandy, right? Totally.

    [/quote]

    I couldn't help but roll my eyes at this statement. People are taking this so seriously when i figured it would spark a fun debate, not dive into ethical issues. I'm surprised by all the negative and mean responses. And really your comparingthe someone posting a rant about anti-semitism to flirting GET REAL. (and i'm pretty sure that topic would get deleted)

    for the record I think it is totally okay to flirt if you are taken. It's just flirting. You flirt with your clothes on! It's once the clothes come off that it is wrong.
    But flirting if you are taken is fine, I for one would never get into a relationship with a guy who would get mad if other guys flirted with me. But i've been lucky all my boyfriends love it when other men hit on me because it makes them feel like a stud.

    but people LIGHTEN UP!!
    [/quote]
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