Relationship Question?? Cheating.
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As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.
It's really that simple.
EXACTLY!!!! If it is something you wouldn't do or say in front of your significant other, then it is probably wrong. I would go as far to say that I'd be VERY unhappy even if my significant other was making innuendos or being casually flirtatious with other women (complimenting their outfit, etc), either at work or out at the bar with the guys. Maybe I'm too jealous though, who knows. People seem to have different opinions on that, though, and some think it is harmless. Personally, if I found out, I'd be bothered by it, but I might be expecting a bit much. Unfortunately, many people seem to operate under the delusion that if they're not getting caught, then it isn't wrong. People don't seem to have much of a conscience these days!!!0 -
Would you and your partner be willing to switch cell phones for a week? If the answer is no, one of you is probably cheating.
I've not heard this one before! But it's totally true! lol0 -
Yes I have been cheated on, and in my humble opinion, even kissing is cheating. I let a "harmless" kiss slide once and it turned into a "harmless" shag, so there's no way I'm tolerating that again.0
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Just curious! What do you consider cheating in a relationship? From your answer to that, have you ever cheated or been cheated on? (I'm curious if this alters people's opinion.) What in your definition of cheating can be forgiven?
Anything that has been pre-determined as not okay in the relationship along with all the common sense reasons a person should have. There is physical and emotional cheating, neither are okay. If you are spending more time flirting with someone else when you have a loved one at home, you are wrong. Simple as that.
As for your second question, yes I have cheated on one person before, my ex, kissed/made out with another guy, told him about it, then requested a divorce as I am pretty firm on if you cheat on someone then you dont respect them as much as someone should, therefore shouldnt be with them. However, on a same note, I felt so horrible doing it, I told myself I would never put myself in that position again, and I havent.
On the flip side, I am currently going through a divorce, my husband is/was cheating on me with a female soldier who is with him in afghanistan. I told him I would forgive him, being a hypocrite of my own views, solely because I do love him and we have kids. However, I firmly believe you can go a relationship without cheating, this was just my karma I suppose, sucks our kids have to be a recipient of such a thing, but it happens. I cant say someone cant get past it, because my BIL and sister both cheated on each other and are now expecting their second child and happy together, but things will never be the same.
As for forgiveness, Ive forgiven my husband, despite how stupid I think he is/was for doing such a thing, but we both felt the same on if someone cheats, so although Ive forgiven him, he cant forgive himself at this point, so we are divorcing. I would never stay with a repeat cheater and it would always depend on the circumstances on how long it took me to forgive.0 -
As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.
It's really that simple.
This is what I was going to say! It really comes down to keeping EVERYTHING out in the open. I'm in the process of getting myself put back together after my spouse cheated and I can tell you it is unimaginably painful. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I can say that as of right now, I definitely react more to finding out about anything little, than I would have before.0 -
As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.
It's really that simple.
sooo when I go to the gym to lift and don't tell my hubby because he is against it... its cheating?0 -
I think what would be worse would be staying in a relationship where you find something cheating and your partner does not. There is a difference in someone doing something and knowing they were wrong and someone doing it and not seeing why it is a big deal. Better to just be with someone who has the same views as you do on cheating, otherwise it will prob be a matter of time before another 'whats the big deal?' occurs.0
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Any physical contact in a sexual way with someone other than your SO, I consider cheating, even if it's not going the whole hog, even if it's just a kiss.
I don't even like my SO talking to other girls privately, be it girls I know or don't know, like private FB messaging or something like that, it just brings out the jealous girl in me. Maybe I'm just weird? haha.
If you're weird, then so am I. I am exactly the same.
I guess I'm not weird then haha.0 -
Cheating:
ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you feel compelled to hide from your significant other because you KNOW they wouldn't like it :smokin:0 -
In my opinion, it's a personal definition but it should include anything that your partner would not approve or anything you wouldn't tell your partner about and feel the need to hide or lie about.
I agree with this. I always pretend my bf can see everything that I am doing. If he wouldn't approve if he was there, then I won't let that thing happen.
This...0 -
My definition of cheating includes checking out the tattoos of hot young women on the internet.
I am cheating right now. :devil:0 -
As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.
It's really that simple.
But, but, I can't pee in front of my husband. Does that count?0 -
If you have to hide it, it's cheating.0
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As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.
It's really that simple.
I completely 100% agree.0 -
If you have to ask, it's cheating.
I have never cheated. I would say that I don't think I've ever been cheated on, but I'm not 100% certain. I think there's emotional cheating. It's not just physical.
Anything inappropriate physical or emotional is cheating...... Dr. Phil once said (even though I don't care for him much) "If you can't do it in front of your wife then it's cheating" So just imagine if your spouse or lover had a window into your brain too, would they think the thoughts you are having for another person are appropriate???? if you answer NO to any question then it's cheating not matter if you are just dating or married. If you've made anything kind of commitment to a person, you need to hold up your end.....0 -
Well, I find this very hard to answer. Of course the basics like physical stuff is cheating, sending naughty texts or pictures is cheating, even lying to cover up being with person A to me is being unfaithful. If you need to lie, then its not right. However, at the same time I could deal with the physical side of it far more easily than if my SO was to actually be emotionally invested in someone else. That would be the 'kick me when I'm down' moment, and would take forever to get over. Its like you werent even good enough in the first place that they had to go find someone better than you. Ouch!
I'd much rather a drunken one-night-stand than a long term affair for example.
And for your info, I have never cheated myself but have been cheated on before. I have also forgiven cheating in the past as anybody can make mistakes, but I would only forgive one mistake. Any more, then they have made it clear that they dont value you enough to stay faithful.0 -
I wish all the cheaters would get together and leave the faithful honest people alone.0
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As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.
It's really that simple.
But, but, I can't pee in front of my husband. Does that count?
Only if you have some strange fetish and are peeing on someone else.0 -
But, but, I can't pee in front of my husband. Does that count?
You can't pee in front of him? Like, he disapproves of you peeing in front of him? Or you just don't want to?0 -
Lol except mine has s business to run... He would if I ssked it would just cause a lot of crap for both of usWould you and your partner be willing to switch cell phones for a week? If the answer is no, one of you is probably cheating.
I've not heard this one before! But it's totally true! lol0 -
As much as I think Dr Phil is a tool, I think in regards to this issue, he's dead right: if you can't tell your spouse, or have him/her right there and you have to do it, what ever "it" is, behind his or her back, it's cheating.
It's really that simple.
But, but, I can't pee in front of my husband. Does that count?
Only if you have some strange fetish and are peeing on someone else.
Nope, can't pee in front of anyone.0 -
Ok.. I don't find kissing cheating. I would do it in front of my other half. He would in front of me too.
I don't find having online flirts, even sim sex cheating. My other half watches sometimes to take notes :P
We are loyal to each other, in our own ways. I know lots of people wouldn't agree with this, but it works for us.
There are some things I don't tell him about, but I have spoken about them before with him, and he has asked that I don't talk about them. I respect his wishes.0 -
They way I see it, is if you have to hide it from your significant other, and you feel like it's something you can't let them find out about, you're doing something you shouldn't be doing.
Also, a lot of people define cheating differently. Get on the same wavelength as your partner. If you consider flirting with another person cheating, but your partner isn't bothered by it, you've got different expectations. Lay the ground work right from the get-go, set your boundaries. That way there's no ambiguity about it if one person in a relationship "gets caught" doing something.0 -
Would you and your partner be willing to switch cell phones for a week? If the answer is no, one of you is probably cheating.
What if I'm just not willing to do that because I like that when people call my phone I can actually answer it? I'm not really trying to explain to my boss why a woman is answering my phone for a week...0 -
my wife likes to go to the casino by herself and not tell me about it. is she cheating?0
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Cheating for me:
Kissing someone else
Having sex with someone else
Written texts / emails to someone else with the intent to do the above
I've not cheated, nor have I been cheated on, that I know of.
But there are different levels to it, that I am finding hard to explain, so if someone else explains it better than I could, I'll let you know. :P
agree...I've cheated once when i was younger not proud of it and i have been cheated on numerous times
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a good rule of thumb in my opinion is if you cant do it in front of your SO then its wrong.0
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my wife likes to go to the casino by herself and not tell me about it. is she cheating?
No she might just have a whole other problem! Good luck mate!0 -
Cheating is doing/saying ANYTHING you would not do/say in front of you significant other.0
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my wife likes to go to the casino by herself and not tell me about it. is she cheating?
No she might just have a whole other problem! Good luck mate!
lol i agree0
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