Can you handle having a CLINGY significant other?

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wittlelacey
wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
in Chit-Chat
Emphasis on CLINGY. I'm talking a boyfriend or girlfriend who:

Overplay the phrase "I love you"
Can't go an hour apart without letting you know that they miss you terribly.
Saying you'll be together forever after 2 months.
Wanting to talk on the phone every single night, without fail.
HAVE to text you 24/7 (or during every waking second).
Want to hang out every day.
Cry (boys too!) whenever they think you're remotely upset.
Say "Do you not love me anymore? Are you going to dump me?" during every argument.
Make long texts/poems/notes/letters/wall posts/messages describing their infinite love for you on a daily basis.
Can't be near you without holding/touching you in some way, shape, or form.
etc. etc.

Note: All of the above describe my boyfriend of 4 months. These were just the ones that came to the top of my head instantly, there's plenty more but this is the jist. I feel suffocated and I need to know-am I crazy for feeling discontent by all this affection or am I a lucky girl to have a boyfriend so sensitive and considerate? How do you guys handle this? Turn on or turn off?
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Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,108 Member
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    As one who has been around the block a time or two, I say................run.



    I had one of those. EXACTLY. At first it is sort of flattering, then it gets annoying, then it becomes scary..Let's just say mine ended with police and restraining orders and changing the locks, changing jobs, basically afraid to leave my house.

    Yeah. Run.
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    As one who has been around the block a time or two, I say................run.



    I had one of those. EXACTLY. At first it is sort of flattering, then it gets annoying, then it becomes scary..Let's just say mine ended with police and restraining orders and changing the locks, changing jobs, basically afraid to leave my house.

    Yeah. Run.
    bahahaha oh goodness. I'm not sure if this lightened my mood, or made me even more in question! Regardless, interesting story but sorry you had to endure that haha :)
  • alyson820
    alyson820 Posts: 448 Member
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    Hell no. I need my space, my privacy, and my alone time.
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 940 Member
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    As one who has been around the block a time or two, I say................run.



    I had one of those. EXACTLY. At first it is sort of flattering, then it gets annoying, then it becomes scary..Let's just say mine ended with police and restraining orders and changing the locks, changing jobs, basically afraid to leave my house.

    Yeah. Run.

    ^^this
  • toabetterlifestyle
    toabetterlifestyle Posts: 230
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    I love that my boyfriend is clingy in a way and jealous, it shows he cares about me. but what you're describing is way over the top... The i love you thing is okay..ish..but the together forever thing is annoying as f**k. Little *kitten* kids do that and it pisses me off! Unless youve been best friends for years before, then don't even start that lol. boys crying so much is such a turn off. death, break up, in pain = okay to cry. anything is okay to cry about just dont over do it you know the girlfriend doesn't want to be more manly than the boyfriend..i don't want a boy being more feminine than me lol. that argument thing would annoy the crap out of me and one day i would snap and say yes, i am going to dump you if you keep asking. the wallposts are cute imo, because its showing hes not embarrassed to say it in a "public" place. but poems and stuff is kind of over the top..maybe like once a year for an anniversary but not on a daily basis. i love PDA, but sometimes you're right, we need our space.
  • kittycarson
    kittycarson Posts: 109
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    As one who has been around the block a time or two, I say................run.



    I had one of those. EXACTLY. At first it is sort of flattering, then it gets annoying, then it becomes scary..Let's just say mine ended with police and restraining orders and changing the locks, changing jobs, basically afraid to leave my house.

    Yeah. Run.

    ^^^^^THIS!!! ^^^^^
  • Dilfster
    Dilfster Posts: 434
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    nope.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    He sounds either controlling or unnecessarily needy. Either way, the situation will probably get worse.
  • dmalistar
    dmalistar Posts: 11
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    No way in hell. I'm way too independent for that.
    Makes me shudder just thinking about it.
    Eww.
  • misssiri
    misssiri Posts: 335 Member
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    Run!! It will only get worse.
  • alise_lmx
    alise_lmx Posts: 292 Member
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    My husband was sort of like this when we first met. Definitely not as bad as your list, but he did a few of those things. It was a big turn off for me after a while, lol. But, he definitely grew out of that "puppy love" stage, that's for sure! haha :) I think it takes a few months. I think i remember that it was maybe close to a year that he really cut all that mushy crap out. We've been together 10 years now!
  • susannamarie
    susannamarie Posts: 2,148 Member
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    My God, does he join you in the bathroom when you're taking a wee or merely wait outside anxiously hoping you haven't left him through the window?

    Okay, that was a bit facetious, but seriously! No, it's NOT attractive, it shows he's deeply insecure as well!
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    I love that my boyfriend is clingy in a way and jealous, it shows he cares about me. but what you're describing is way over the top... The i love you thing is okay..ish..but the together forever thing is annoying as f**k. Little *kitten* kids do that and it pisses me off! Unless youve been best friends for years before, then don't even start that lol. boys crying so much is such a turn off. death, break up, in pain = okay to cry. anything is okay to cry about just dont over do it you know the girlfriend doesn't want to be more manly than the boyfriend..i don't want a boy being more feminine than me lol. that argument thing would annoy the crap out of me and one day i would snap and say yes, i am going to dump you if you keep asking. the wallposts are cute imo, because its showing hes not embarrassed to say it in a "public" place. but poems and stuff is kind of over the top..maybe like once a year for an anniversary but not on a daily basis. i love PDA, but sometimes you're right, we need our space.

    this. is. how. i. feel.
    i love him, but he doesn't understand the concept of space. i thought he would be less clingy by now, but no.
    if i dump him, his heart will shatter.
    i am so conflicted.
  • GabeRami
    GabeRami Posts: 210 Member
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    You aren't crazy. It's hard to be with someone clingy, especially when you aren't. I have to say, for me it is somewhat of a turn off. I like someone confident and independent that can stand next to me, not in front, or behind me, know what I mean? Someone who is clingy, will always be behind you...
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
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    He has codependent behaviors. Not good. I agree with the others, run, run fast and far.
  • wittlelacey
    wittlelacey Posts: 412 Member
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    My husband was sort of like this when we first met. Definitely not as bad as your list, but he did a few of those things. It was a big turn off for me after a while, lol. But, he definitely grew out of that "puppy love" stage, that's for sure! haha :) I think it takes a few months. I think i remember that it was maybe close to a year that he really cut all that mushy crap out. We've been together 10 years now!
    This is reassuring :)
  • unmitigatedbadassery
    unmitigatedbadassery Posts: 653 Member
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    Wow, I, myself, am guilty of this. I had no idea people had such strong feelings about it. I guess I'd better tell my girlfriend that she has met the "I love you" quota for the day.
  • neversettle
    neversettle Posts: 168 Member
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    not at all.
    i am a very independent woman and I NEED my space or it won't last.
  • Snow__White
    Snow__White Posts: 1,650 Member
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    maybe he just has OCD?
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
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    NO NO NO!!! I am an introvert to the core, and I hate when people try to smother me. That is why I am only compatible with other introverts because I need a lot of alone time, quietness and personal space. I seriously don't need to see my SO, family, or most people every day to function.

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