I find myself becoming very judgemental

quote from a lady at work "Well if I could not eat cake, I would be skinny as a pole"... Umm, excuses and laziness piss me off!

I get frustrated by excuses. Particularly when someone complains about their weight, and then makes a million excuses for why they "can't" do anything about it. And if they say something like "Well, if I were lucky like you and had [____], I'd be able to do it to," then I want to smack them. I'm not lucky, I work hard for my health and my body.

Judgemental? Not in my opinion. I just don't like complainers who don't do anything about their situations.

Also, I was judgemental because my health insurance premium went up this year. A cited cause? Increase in obesity of employees. Ugh.

I get frustrated by excuses. Particularly when someone complains about their weight, and then makes a million excuses for why they "can't" do anything about it. And if they say something like "Well, if I were lucky like you and had [____], I'd be able to do it to," then I want to smack them. I'm not lucky, I work hard for my health and my body.

Judgemental? Not in my opinion. I just don't like complainers who don't do anything about their situations.

Also, I was judgemental because my health insurance premium went up this year. A cited cause? Increase in obesity of employees. Ugh.

Okay, I'm sorry, some of the replies here are really pissing me off. I have been extremely heavy, and I'm still moderately heavy, and I have had to deal with a ton of crap from people in public.

It is impossible to tell from looking at someone what their lifestyle is. Even when I was at my heaviest (300+ lbs) I still worked out and tried to eat healthy--I was a vegan! I have a medical condition and am on medication that makes weight loss almost impossible (which is why my doctor recommended a gastric bypass, which helped but didn't magically fix). When moving hurt, I still made time to exercise in a healthy way, and I was able to keep my blood pressure and sugar levels in a good range (a better indicator of health than pant size). Weight is incredibly complex...experts and studies confirm that it is so, so much more than "eat less/exercise more." Genetics, medication, health conditions, and past lifestyle choices all play a huge part. And heavy people have often been on many, many diets...most of which, studies show, fail, and then cause excessive weight gain and slow metabolism later in life. The assumption that someone who is overweight doesn't take care of themselves, or if they just worked at it they could lose weight, is FALSE and fed by our weight-obsessed society.

Class and money play a huge role. Have you ever tried eating a healthy diet on food stamps? It's almost impossible. My mother tried to feed a family of six on a food budget of a couple hundred dollars...she would have loved to have fresh fruits and veggies in the house, but when a package of Top Ramen is cheaper than an apple, and will actually satisfy the hunger of her children (an apple is a great snack, but doesn't cut it for dinner), she'll chose the item that doesn't make her kids go to bed starving. Processed food is terrible for you and causes weight gain, but that's what poor people buy, because a) it's cheaper, b) it lasts, and c) it's quick to make, and when you're working 2-3 jobs (as my mom was), you don't have time to cook healthy dinners. So please don't judge the mom whose shopping cart is filled with items you personally disapprove of; you have no idea what they're going through.

And you really don't know what someone's lifestyle is like based on a quick glance in the grocery store. A couple years ago, my mom sent me the store to pick up candy and other desserts for a church party that eveneing. While standing in line, the person in front turned around and sneered, "You'll never lose weight if you keep eating like that." Well, considering the food all had milk in it, I wasn't planning on eating ANY of it. And she seriously thought I was gonna take 15 bags of candy home to eat? Is that really what people think fat folks do, sit around all day eating bags of candy?

When I was the low girl on the work totem pole, my boss sent me out to get food from Costco for everyone. So I was getting several hotdogs and snacky things. When I was walking back, a woman said, "No wonder you're fat." Yeah, like I was gonna eat four hotdogs on my own, and anyway, it's none of her business! I was a lot less confident then, so I was in tears by the time I got back to work, and told my boss I couldn't do the food runs anymore (she was pissed on my behalf and totally agreed...they never made me go again). I was so hurt. It takes courage to go out and try to be happy when you're very heavy, and it just takes a little comment, someone reminding you that to the rest of the world you're hideous, to make you want to go home and slit your wrists or never go outside again.

I have on several occassions been used by mothers to fat-shame their children. It's horrible on two levels...1) because they're talking about me like I'm disgusting and the worst thing someone could be, which is SO dehumanizing and hurtful, and 2) because they are using me to scare and shame their daughters, passing on the torch of body hatred, and teaching their kids that it's okay to make rude comments about someone's weight, because FAT IS THE WORST THING EVER. Quick example: when I was a cashier, a girl was bugging her mom for M%M's. The mom said to her daughter, "Do you want to end up fat like HER?" (pointing at me). I quickly finished ringing her up, then had to take a break because I started crying. (I'm a lot tougher now, but I used to be more sensetive about my weight.) This is just one example of many over the years.

It's the reason I always made my little sister get her own popcorn at the theatre...she (skinny girl that she is) likes a lot of extra butter. I told her that I just can't deal with the looks (if not the comments) that I get as a fat girl ordering extra butter. It hurts; I'm not going to put myself in that position. Or if I was celebrating a special occassion or was at a restruant I really liked and wanted a dessert...sometimes I just didn't order (or made my mom or friend order) because I couldn't stand the looks I would get. People didn't know it was something I rarely did. They just assummed that, hey, fat girl orders cake=she must eat cake all day long and that's why she's big. Even if I ordered the same thing my skinny friends ordered.

I have struggled with starving myself (worst thing you can do to lose weight; it just made me unhealthy and more fat), with self-injury (taking out my body hatred on my stomach with a knife), with depression, with social anxiety. Some of it can be traced to the terrible things people have said to me during my life. I'm stronger now, I understand that the people who say and do those things are really just ignorant and scared (they don't understand the complexity of weight loss; they are scared of gaining weight themselves). But it took a lot of therapy and education for me to get to this place, and I still struggle with disordered eating and self-injury.

In conclusion: you don't know what someone's lifestyle is by just looking at them, and you don't know what medical conditions might be the cause of their weight. And you don't know how hurtful even your non-verbal actions can be. Get educated, and have some compassion. Pant size is a terrible indicator of someone's value as a human being.

I thought I was the only one! I don't have any right to be judgemental yet either! I am so far from goal. but I also do the same thing.

I get irritated because sometimes some of those people think there is nothing they can do about it and just accept how they are. They do not realise it might take work and courage but you CAN change.

Thought I'm still 'fat' I find myself doing this at times. Thnkfully, just a quickly as the thought enters my head... it leaves.

The only time I feel judgemental or angry is when I see people in public who park in handicap and use wheelchairs because of their weight. Yes, some people may have other issues but for some of them, it is pretty obviousy their issue is self-inflicted. Walking through the store with the support of a cart or walking the few extra feet to the door may actually improve their life.

How do you know who uses these things because of their weight? You actually state evidence to the contrary in your post. I gained weight when I got peripheral neuropathy due to cancer. Because the pain makes it excruciating to stand and walk, I have handicapped tags and use a crutch. On bad days I use a wheelchair. Not being able to walk or even stand for more than a few minutes sure makes it easy to gain weight, and VERY hard to lose. I've lost some, I have more to go. But no matter how much I lose, I still won't be able to stand and walk without excruciating pain. How can you tell me from one of these people you think less of because "it's pretty obvious the issue is self-inflicted." In what way do I look different? And if you can't tell the difference, where do you get off judging?

I suppose I do look different when I get off my motorcycle and unfold the folding crutch, but on a rainy day or a bad pain day, when I'm in my car, how would you know why I need the parking tags or the crutch/wheelchair?

I'm talking about the people who are too large to walk but are loading up their carts with HungryMan dinners , cookies and regular soda.

Another poster mentioned a health condition that caused her to gain weight. My doctor has told me "There is NO health condition that makes you gain weight. They make it harder to lose or easier to gain but it always comes down to diet." Many people also use health conditions as an excuse to be heavy, which ticks me off even more. I have PCOS, which makes it very difficult to lose weight, but it is possible. The weight I have lost has been because of effort and diet, not the medication I am on.

As I stated, I am still overweight, still losing but I'm honest enough to be able to tell myself that my eating habits put me here. Not a disease.

Thought I'm still 'fat' I find myself doing this at times. Thnkfully, just a quickly as the thought enters my head... it leaves.

The only time I feel judgemental or angry is when I see people in public who park in handicap and use wheelchairs because of their weight. Yes, some people may have other issues but for some of them, it is pretty obviousy their issue is self-inflicted. Walking through the store with the support of a cart or walking the few extra feet to the door may actually improve their life.

How do you know who uses these things because of their weight? You actually state evidence to the contrary in your post. I gained weight when I got peripheral neuropathy due to cancer. Because the pain makes it excruciating to stand and walk, I have handicapped tags and use a crutch. On bad days I use a wheelchair. Not being able to walk or even stand for more than a few minutes sure makes it easy to gain weight, and VERY hard to lose. I've lost some, I have more to go. But no matter how much I lose, I still won't be able to stand and walk without excruciating pain. How can you tell me from one of these people you think less of because "it's pretty obvious the issue is self-inflicted." In what way do I look different? And if you can't tell the difference, where do you get off judging?

I suppose I do look different when I get off my motorcycle and unfold the folding crutch, but on a rainy day or a bad pain day, when I'm in my car, how would you know why I need the parking tags or the crutch/wheelchair?

I'm talking about the people who are too large to walk but are loading up their carts with HungryMan dinners , cookies and regular soda.

Another poster mentioned a health condition that caused her to gain weight. My doctor has told me "There is NO health condition that makes you gain weight. They make it harder to lose or easier to gain but it always comes down to diet." Many people also use health conditions as an excuse to be heavy, which ticks me off even more. I have PCOS, which makes it very difficult to lose weight, but it is possible. The weight I have lost has been because of effort and diet, not the medication I am on.

As I stated, I am still overweight, still losing but I'm honest enough to be able to tell myself that my eating habits put me here. Not a disease.

Your doctor is either mistaken or told you a half-truth for some reason, then, because there certainly are health conditions and medications which CAUSE weight gain AND weight loss. Certain diseases of the endocrine system are examples of a medical conditions that cause weight gain, and the tricyclics and corticosteroids are examples of classes of drugs which cause weight loss. But what I am talking about is weight gain because you can't exercise or exercise enough. And while it may still come down to diet in this case, you simply cannot know how difficult it is for a disabled person to avoid weight gain or lose weight, and more than that, you cannot know that walking with support of the cart or any of your suggestions is even possible for the person in question.

No matter how difficult it has been for you to lose weight, you cannot know how difficult it is for someone else. If you are so much better than these people, why are you overweight? If you're not saying you are better, then why would you have a right to judge them?

Thought I'm still 'fat' I find myself doing this at times. Thnkfully, just a quickly as the thought enters my head... it leaves.

The only time I feel judgemental or angry is when I see people in public who park in handicap and use wheelchairs because of their weight. Yes, some people may have other issues but for some of them, it is pretty obviousy their issue is self-inflicted. Walking through the store with the support of a cart or walking the few extra feet to the door may actually improve their life.

How do you know who uses these things because of their weight? You actually state evidence to the contrary in your post. I gained weight when I got peripheral neuropathy due to cancer. Because the pain makes it excruciating to stand and walk, I have handicapped tags and use a crutch. On bad days I use a wheelchair. Not being able to walk or even stand for more than a few minutes sure makes it easy to gain weight, and VERY hard to lose. I've lost some, I have more to go. But no matter how much I lose, I still won't be able to stand and walk without excruciating pain. How can you tell me from one of these people you think less of because "it's pretty obvious the issue is self-inflicted." In what way do I look different? And if you can't tell the difference, where do you get off judging?

I suppose I do look different when I get off my motorcycle and unfold the folding crutch, but on a rainy day or a bad pain day, when I'm in my car, how would you know why I need the parking tags or the crutch/wheelchair?

I'm talking about the people who are too large to walk but are loading up their carts with HungryMan dinners , cookies and regular soda.

Another poster mentioned a health condition that caused her to gain weight. My doctor has told me "There is NO health condition that makes you gain weight. They make it harder to lose or easier to gain but it always comes down to diet." Many people also use health conditions as an excuse to be heavy, which ticks me off even more. I have PCOS, which makes it very difficult to lose weight, but it is possible. The weight I have lost has been because of effort and diet, not the medication I am on.

As I stated, I am still overweight, still losing but I'm honest enough to be able to tell myself that my eating habits put me here. Not a disease.

Your doctor is either mistaken or told you a half-truth for some reason, then, because there certainly are health conditions and medications which CAUSE weight gain AND weight loss. Certain diseases of the endocrine system are examples of a medical conditions that cause weight gain, and the tricyclics and corticosteroids are examples of classes of drugs which cause weight loss. But what I am talking about is weight gain because you can't exercise or exercise enough. And while it may still come down to diet in this case, you simply cannot know how difficult it is for a disabled person to avoid weight gain or lose weight, and more than that, you cannot know that walking with support of the cart or any of your suggestions is even possible for the person in question.

No matter how difficult it has been for you to lose weight, you cannot know how difficult it is for someone else. If you are so much better than these people, why are you overweight? If you're not saying you are better, then why would you have a right to judge them?

I don't buy that. Many people who can NOT exercise still lose weight. That my friend, is an excuse. We have seen on here time again that you can never exercise at all but still lose weight by restricting calories. Same goes for medications. Any person who is diabetic, or has a thyroid condition CAN lose weight though it may be very hard.

I have seen too many incredible people here who have overcome many conditions and still lost 50, 100, 200lbs because they chose to work for it. I'm not wanting to judge but I am also not going to give sympathy to a person who says they can't lose weight. It is possible for anyone.

EXCUSE ME? I LOST 100 POUNDS! How f-ing DARE you suggest I am making excuses for anything?!? But I stand by my argument that you do NOT know how difficult it is for anybody but you, and YOU DO NOT have any right to judge whether they are making ENOUGH effort. You don't know anyone's circumstances and you don't know WHY they need that parking space. A doctor just as knowledgable as yours says they DO, or they wouldn't have the permit.

EDIT: Please answer the question: Who are you to judge? Somehow you got fat, didn't you?