I hate it when really SKINNY girls complain being fat!!
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I have to say, this used to bother me! I'm the shorter fatter sister, however my sister is the taller, thinner one! I used to tell her shut up, but then she explained to me, that although to me, she looks skinny, after having two kids she is no where near she used to be. In fact 4-5 sizes bigger than before she had her children. It made me really respect the fact, that although to me, I think she looks great, its not what she wants. Everyone has the right to complain about what doesn't satisfy them, and they also deserve an ear to listen. Try to be more open to hearing their weight loss issues too, because just like you, they want to be something that makes them happy!
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Who really gives a flying f***?! Everyone has their own damn opinions on their bodies. No one knows how the other feels about themselves..I hate when people just assume crap! Get over it!0
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I realize skinny girls have insecurities too and they're allowed to have them, but think about who you're complaining about being fat around. Its about being considerate because you imply that your friend is even worse off than you if you think you are fat whether or not you mean to. You put your larger friend in a weird place. All the skinny girls being pissed off about this post, I imagine when you get on the other side of this situation you'll be singing the same tune.
I have been on the other side of the situation, and quite honestly, when a skinny friend said "I feel so fat," I would think to myself "I never feel fat. That's probably why I am."
My weight and my feelings about my body are my responsibility. I don't want, need, or expect my friends to walk on egg shells around me.0 -
*sigh*
Listen people. Some skinny people say they are fat because they are insecure and fishing for compliments. Some skinny people say they are fat because they have a distorted view of their bodies and truly think they are fat. Keep in mind that no matter what size someone is - they likely have SOMETHING about their body that they hate. Something that they wish they could change. Just because someone is skinny doesn't mean all the negative feelings they have about themselves simply vanish. We are our own worst critic and we see our flaws whether we weigh 200lbs or 100lbs.
Also, I wish people would STOP saying "If she thinks she is fat, what must she think about me?" - honestly? She probably doesn't think about you or your weight at all. She is focused on her own body and likely doesn't even notice you or your size. To me, the people who are worried about it are insecure themselves. She thinks she's fat and she's not (well, to YOU maybe she's not!) what must she think of me, if I AM fat?
She doesn't think about it. She's worried about HER and HER weight!
This x 1000000000!!!!! :drinker:0 -
Thisssss.I realize skinny girls have insecurities too and they're allowed to have them, but think about who you're complaining about being fat around. Its about being considerate because you imply that your friend is even worse off than you if you think you are fat whether or not you mean to. You put your larger friend in a weird place. All the skinny girls being pissed off about this post, I imagine when you get on the other side of this situation you'll be singing the same tune.
I imagine I wont. My cousin's probably about 10 lbs lighter than I and she complains about being fat quite often. Does it bother me? No, because I am working on myself and her herself. Don't allow other people's insecurities to rule your own.
I'm the biggest out of all of my friends, do I cry like a baby because they said THEY felt fat & that some how *magically* meant they where calling me a fat *kitten* cow? No, I don't because it's their insecurity & they where not in anyway aiming it at me.
You gotta be really self absorbed to think that every comment a skinny girl makes about her insecurities automatically means she's calling you a fat cow.
You probably only think she's being insensitive because YOU actually think you're fat & if so, if that hurts your feelings, do something about it!
Now, go back to your friend & ask her how you can help her, just like this site is helping you to change your weight.0 -
Usually, I just try to be reassuring and offer advice to friends of mine like that. I try to be supportive, because we ALL have our own insecurities. But there was one situation in which I wanted to throat punch a girl for her "I'm so fat" comments.
This former friend of mine and I were about the same size. We shared clothes at like a size 12. She VERY quickly lost about 45 lbs and was the same height as I am (5'3") and MAYBE 105 lbs. She looked unhealthy...well, she was unhealthy because she lost weight by eating nothing but Smart Ones and staying under like 800 calories a day, while doing an hour of cardio every other day. But anyway, she was EXTREMELY thin to the point where people would ask me if she was anorexic.
I was trying to help her gain some weight and put on some muscle, but she didn't want to hear any of my advice. She was of the "I don't want to lift weights because I'll get bulky" and "I don't want to eat more than 1000 calories a day because I'll get fat" camp. Anyway, she stepped on the scale one day and it said 112 and I said "That's great! You look good with a few more pounds on you!" and her response was "Ugh no, it's gross. At least I'm not as big as I used to be, that was disgusting."
Meaning, at least she wasn't as big as I was right then standing next to her. Things like that are why we are no longer friends.0 -
I realize skinny girls have insecurities too and they're allowed to have them, but think about who you're complaining about being fat around. Its about being considerate because you imply that your friend is even worse off than you if you think you are fat whether or not you mean to. You put your larger friend in a weird place. All the skinny girls being pissed off about this post, I imagine when you get on the other side of this situation you'll be singing the same tune.
I lived in the situation for many years, as my sister is 5'3" and barely 100lbs. She would complain about needing to loose weight all the time. It never made me feel bad about myself. Being overweight made me feel bad about myself. So I changed it, and now she and I work out together and have great conversations about health and fitness. I still outweigh her by at least 30lbs and when she's having off days and complaining, it still doesn't get to me. I just support her and ask her to go for a run.0 -
I hate it when people I hate don't suffer.0
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It's called fishing.0
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My weight and my feelings about my body are my responsibility. I don't want, need, or expect my friends to walk on egg shells around me.
+10 -
You know what I hate? When someone who is larger than me thinks I can't possibly want to lose weight. We all have ideas of what we want to look/feel like. I'm not going to change that because my friend happens to be bigger than I am. :devil:0
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I don't get where all these people are getting the "It is okay for fat people to complain to everybody but skinny people cannot do it anywhere.."
because most people think it is ok to tell a "skinny" person that they need to gain weight but no one would ever tell a "fat" person that they need to lose!0 -
I don't get where all these people are getting the "It is okay for fat people to complain to everybody but skinny people cannot do it anywhere.."
because most people think it is ok to tell a "skinny" person that they need to gain weight but no one would ever tell a "fat" person that they need to lose!
This. Soooo this.0 -
Last and final attempt. (I swear I will not have anything further to say on this thread).
Perception of the word "fat" and what it means to different people is a key part of the issue here.
If you were having difficulty with a test or filling out a form and called yourself "retarded" in front of someone with an actual mental handicap, I would hope that you could recognize that as insensitive.
Can skinny girls say they want to lose weight? Sure, why not?
But to use a word which many bigger people find hurtful in a context which only makes it more hurtful, is just plain insensitive.
Maybe it is a generational thing, but I was raised that if saying something hurts the people around you, then perhaps you should think twice before saying it again.
Of course, if you really don't care how the people around you feel, then who am I to call you insensitive?
However, you might want to buy a dictionary and look it up.0 -
I don't get where all these people are getting the "It is okay for fat people to complain to everybody but skinny people cannot do it anywhere.."
because most people think it is ok to tell a "skinny" person that they need to gain weight but no one would ever tell a "fat" person that they need to lose!
And ironically, both can kill you. Just shows how superficial society can be.
If the hating & the comparisons would stop, people would be much happier. Compare yourself to others and you're just going to never be satisfied.0 -
Get over yourself. Bigger people aren't the only ones with insecurities. THIS pisses me off.
Me too.0 -
Wow a lot of people have some real body image issues go figure!
As a fat woman I have had "skinny" women complain to me about how fat they are... They always seem like genuine complaints to me, so I tell them your not fat because from my point of view their not most of the time :-). What their motives are who knows, the point is if you know who you are their motives don't mean a thing!
My advice if your friend is complaing about their weight see what their BMI is; sometimes a dose of reality can help a skinny or fat friend.0 -
I realize skinny girls have insecurities too and they're allowed to have them, but think about who you're complaining about being fat around. Its about being considerate because you imply that your friend is even worse off than you if you think you are fat whether or not you mean to. You put your larger friend in a weird place. All the skinny girls being pissed off about this post, I imagine when you get on the other side of this situation you'll be singing the same tune.
And how do you know that all of the skinny people that are disagreeing with the OP in this thread haven't been on the other side? How do you know? You don't.
I used to weigh 200lbs. I used to be the "Fat friend" who had her skinny friends complaining about their weight. I was always confused as to why they were complaining, but also figured it was THEIR issue and had nothing to do with me. So, I HAVE been on the other side of the fence. Don't assume because someone is skinny they haven't been fat and they don't understand.
And I'm sorry, but I think it is ridiculous that a skinny person can't say "I need to lose weight" without making sure she isn't going to offend someone fatter than her. Is it okay for a fat person to comment that a skinny person should "eat a cheeseburger"? Is it okay for a fat person to call a skinny person a skinny b*tch?
There seems to be a double standard here. Apparently, skinny people need to SHUT UP and fat people can say whatever they want to say.0 -
I guess the thing is that a lot of people are never happy with what they have.
People who hear me talking about my weight are always telling me to stop complaining, but I then tend to say "they've never seen me naked"
Yea, there are probably a lot of people who'd give a lot to have my bodyweight, but that does not mean that I have to be happy.
A lot of thin girls have some strange ideals or sometimes people who make them feel bad. It's just some strange self-view, and you can't judge people for that.
When it comes to me, complaining about not looking sporty enough while somebody is standing beside me who is maybe a bit bigger than me, I don't want them to feel bad. Mostly I even think they're prettier than me.
Because, to my mind, the ideals I have only refer to me, not to the people around me.
So everybody should have their own goals and ideals.
And there will always be somebody who's suffering more than you, that's for sure.0 -
Cindy Crawford learned from her mother that it is easier to lose 2 pounds than 20 pounds and its hard to argue with the results that produced.0
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I realize skinny girls have insecurities too and they're allowed to have them, but think about who you're complaining about being fat around. Its about being considerate because you imply that your friend is even worse off than you if you think you are fat whether or not you mean to. You put your larger friend in a weird place. All the skinny girls being pissed off about this post, I imagine when you get on the other side of this situation you'll be singing the same tune.
And how do you know that all of the skinny people that are disagreeing with the OP in this thread haven't been on the other side? How do you know? You don't.
I used to weigh 200lbs. I used to be the "Fat friend" who had her skinny friends complaining about their weight. I was always confused as to why they were complaining, but also figured it was THEIR issue and had nothing to do with me. So, I HAVE been on the other side of the fence. Don't assume because someone is skinny they haven't been fat and they don't understand.
And I'm sorry, but I think it is ridiculous that a skinny person can't say "I need to lose weight" without making sure she isn't going to offend someone fatter than her. Is it okay for a fat person to comment that a skinny person should "eat a cheeseburger"? Is it okay for a fat person to call a skinny person a skinny b*tch?
There seems to be a double standard here. Apparently, skinny people need to SHUT UP and fat people can say whatever they want to say.
you have NO idea how many times I've been told to go eat a cheeseburger (very recently) or that I needed be force fed a sammich and how many times that broke my heart that people thought those were things that were acceptable to say to me. THAT is NOT ok.
ETA: I was NOT at that time complaining about weight issues. These comments were made out of the blue, except the cheeseburger one after I asked for a size XS top....0 -
Two girls at work and alllll of their friends are like that and I look at myself and cry inside like wtf do they think I look like then? I really have the urge to just smack them0
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I realize skinny girls have insecurities too and they're allowed to have them, but think about who you're complaining about being fat around. Its about being considerate because you imply that your friend is even worse off than you if you think you are fat whether or not you mean to. You put your larger friend in a weird place. All the skinny girls being pissed off about this post, I imagine when you get on the other side of this situation you'll be singing the same tune.
And how do you know that all of the skinny people that are disagreeing with the OP in this thread haven't been on the other side? How do you know? You don't.
I used to weigh 200lbs. I used to be the "Fat friend" who had her skinny friends complaining about their weight. I was always confused as to why they were complaining, but also figured it was THEIR issue and had nothing to do with me. So, I HAVE been on the other side of the fence. Don't assume because someone is skinny they haven't been fat and they don't understand.
And I'm sorry, but I think it is ridiculous that a skinny person can't say "I need to lose weight" without making sure she isn't going to offend someone fatter than her. Is it okay for a fat person to comment that a skinny person should "eat a cheeseburger"? Is it okay for a fat person to call a skinny person a skinny b*tch?
There seems to be a double standard here. Apparently, skinny people need to SHUT UP and fat people can say whatever they want to say.
you have NO idea how many times I've been told to go eat a cheeseburger (very recently) or that I needed be force fed a sammich and how many times that broke my heart that people thought those were things that were acceptable to say to me. THAT is NOT ok.
ETA: I was NOT at that time complaining about weight issues. These comments were made out of the blue, except the cheeseburger one after I asked for a size XS top....
Did they think you have a eating disorder of some kind or was it just because your slim... I don't think a lot of people realize there some people who are naturally slender. BTW people even if you think a friend has a eating disorder telling him or her to eat a burger isn't really going to help!0 -
Two girls at work and alllll of their friends are like that and I look at myself and cry inside like wtf do they think I look like then? I really have the urge to just smack them
maybe you need to relize that thier issues are not all about you0 -
Two girls at work and alllll of their friends are like that and I look at myself and cry inside like wtf do they think I look like then? I really have the urge to just smack them
You obviously have issues.
Just because they think THEY are fat, does not mean they think YOU look like anything.0 -
I hate it when I come to the forum boards and it's full of people complaining about meaningless banter.
.....Then dont come to the forum boards. THANKS!0 -
I realize skinny girls have insecurities too and they're allowed to have them, but think about who you're complaining about being fat around. Its about being considerate because you imply that your friend is even worse off than you if you think you are fat whether or not you mean to. You put your larger friend in a weird place. All the skinny girls being pissed off about this post, I imagine when you get on the other side of this situation you'll be singing the same tune.
And how do you know that all of the skinny people that are disagreeing with the OP in this thread haven't been on the other side? How do you know? You don't.
I used to weigh 200lbs. I used to be the "Fat friend" who had her skinny friends complaining about their weight. I was always confused as to why they were complaining, but also figured it was THEIR issue and had nothing to do with me. So, I HAVE been on the other side of the fence. Don't assume because someone is skinny they haven't been fat and they don't understand.
And I'm sorry, but I think it is ridiculous that a skinny person can't say "I need to lose weight" without making sure she isn't going to offend someone fatter than her. Is it okay for a fat person to comment that a skinny person should "eat a cheeseburger"? Is it okay for a fat person to call a skinny person a skinny b*tch?
There seems to be a double standard here. Apparently, skinny people need to SHUT UP and fat people can say whatever they want to say.
you have NO idea how many times I've been told to go eat a cheeseburger (very recently) or that I needed be force fed a sammich and how many times that broke my heart that people thought those were things that were acceptable to say to me. THAT is NOT ok.
ETA: I was NOT at that time complaining about weight issues. These comments were made out of the blue, except the cheeseburger one after I asked for a size XS top....
Did they think you have a eating disorder of some kind or was it just because your slim... I don't think a lot of people realize there some people who are naturally slender. BTW people even if you think a friend has a eating disorder telling him or her to eat a burger isn't really going to help!
I compete, so during season I have to eat really clean. I put away 5-6 meals a day (and this is a known fact), am 130 pounds, so I doubt that. And before, yes, I was smaller than I should have been, but I was actively TRYING really hard to gain weight, eating everything in site. Telling someone to go eat is just RUDE, especially when you tell them to be forcefed.0 -
Two girls at work and alllll of their friends are like that and I look at myself and cry inside like wtf do they think I look like then? I really have the urge to just smack them
Really???? Did you ever think that maybe they don't think you look like anything, they were talking about themselves!! How does the way they feel about themselves have anything to do with you???
I need to stop typing this response, it's making me want to smack someone:(0 -
Two girls at work and alllll of their friends are like that and I look at myself and cry inside like wtf do they think I look like then? I really have the urge to just smack them
Really???? Did you ever think that maybe they don't think you look like anything, they were talking about themselves!! How does the way they feel about themselves have anything to do with you???
I need to stop typing this response, it's making me want to smack someone:(
I hear ya! Some people are so self absorbed.0 -
How would you ladies feel if I posted: I hate it when fat girls complain about being fat! Like just shut the *kitten* up already. Don't you see what you look like? You're a bloody cow!
Wouldn't feel too nice now would it? Don't try saying it's a different scenario, because it's exactly the same. You're putting someone down for the way they feel without giving proper advice.0
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