Kissing issue

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  • Emalyn
    Emalyn Posts: 60
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    I have never been big on "making out" but I will kiss my fiance. I also am not a fan of PDA, I am not a fan of holding hands at the mall or kissing in public. I feel like those are things that shouldn't be on display..

    ^ this exactly. I'm not a huge fan of kissing a lot, and DEFINITELY not in public. Don't mind holding hands if we're at the movies or something, but...I like being ambidextrous at all times, haha. But I agree...that stuff is personal (not to mention awkward for other people).

    And...no, I've never had anyone like that. My ex looooved to kiss or do anything like that, which was fine. I feel for you! That must be awful, dear, when you like to kiss him. If you are attracted to someone there is no reason why you shouldn't like kissing them. :(
  • Hernandeak11
    Hernandeak11 Posts: 351 Member
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    I love kissing, but my partner insists on doing it every second, so it gets kind of annoying, especially when I'm trying to do homework or am busy running from one place to another.

    Also, after losing 20+ lbs, when he tries to grab me and kiss me, it's more like he's jerking me around (since I'm smaller), and that gets really frustrating.

    (Note, when I was writing this, he interrupted me to kiss :ohwell: )
  • Chari_Jan
    Chari_Jan Posts: 161 Member
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    I don't mind kissing on the lips, but I really don't care for french kissing. It just doesn't do anything for me. I also have narrow nostrils, so I can't do anything that won't allow me to breathe for very long. Which sort of eliminates a lot of french kissing and other "mouth activities."

    He does have some sort of issue with breathing...we've never talked about it but I've noticed something different about him in that respect so maybe that has something to do with it. Hmmmmm....very interesting.
  • phillieschic
    phillieschic Posts: 615
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    I'm not a particularly affectionate person and I tend not to be amenable to public displays of affection. But this was the perfect spot to quote comedian Jim Jefferies on kissing:

    "Guys used to like kissing, then someone sucked our ****s. Why would I want to go to the playground when I've been to Disney World?!"

    Cheers.
    -wtk

    HA HA! Okay, I needed that laugh today! :laugh:
  • biged335
    biged335 Posts: 734
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    This is a shock to me... Never knew this was a problem...
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    My partner doesn't like to kiss at all. It's just one of those things. I tried to not let it bother me, until I really sat down and thought about it. Part of why it upsets me is that my foreplay is really locked up in kissing...that's MY thing...i love it.

    so totally re-evaluating things here.....
  • Kissybiz
    Kissybiz Posts: 361 Member
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    It's a deal breaker for me. If a guy's not a good kisser or if he doesn't like to kiss, something's lacking there. I'm a kisser.. what can I say?
  • JennC831
    JennC831 Posts: 631 Member
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    http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

    There are 5 love languages: 1- words of affirmation, 2- quality time, 3- receiving gifts, 4- acts of service, 5- physical touch

    They say everyone has a primary way of expressing and interpeting love… I am a physcial touch type of person and my husband is acts of service…

    My husband says that I'm the most touchy, feely, affectionate person he's been with... He wasn't affectionate in the beginning of our relationship but I sat him down and told him that I was a person that needed to be touched and shown affection... It was something that I couldn't live without... So I showed him the way... I'd hold his hand while we walked or drove in the car.. I'd hug him when I wanted and kiss him when I wanted... Lay close to him on the couch, cuddle in bed or rub feet with him... Over time he's adapted to this and he now does it on his own...

    You two just gotta learn each other’s love language :wink:
  • WildFlower7
    WildFlower7 Posts: 714 Member
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    Not me but have you tried breaking it down a little. Just kissing in general? Or making out? Has he said exactly what his issue is? Maybe it grosses him out? Cause if it's a breath issue you could always carry around some mints (as in if he's self-conscious about it)
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    Being on the other side of this issue, I would say don't take it personally. I am not an affectionate person at ALL. I'm not big on cuddling or touching or any of that stuff and I have had relationships end because of that. They say, "why can't you be more affectionate?". Well this is how I am and I can't do anything about that. It's like asking me "why can't you be taller?" I just can't. It makes me very uncomfortable to be with someone who is all touchy-feely all the time and that's just me. I hope someday I'll find someone who can accept that and not be annoyed or insulted by it.

    So I guess my point it, don't take it as meaning he's not attracted to you or just doesn't want to kiss you. It could very well be that he's just not comfortable with that kind of affection. Plain and simple.
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
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    I have to ask a critical question.... WHEN does the kissing become an issue? Is it in the middle of a ball game? When he is playing video games? When he is picking out fabulous shoes? When he is focused on something he is passionate about?
    If it is at any of these times, that would be the issue.

    However, even if it is a chore, you should not be aware that it is a chore. (except for the above mentioned times)
  • tonihayden
    tonihayden Posts: 67
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    my guy duznt like kissing much either and i love it......so i am in the same boat as you and i do not understand it either!!
  • Myndi73
    Myndi73 Posts: 270
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    I'm not huge into kisser either. I mean, it's ok once in awhile but there's other things id much rather be doing (*blink, blink*) than shoving my tongue in your moth.
  • Chari_Jan
    Chari_Jan Posts: 161 Member
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    http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

    There are 5 love languages: 1- words of affirmation, 2- quality time, 3- receiving gifts, 4- acts of service, 5- physical touch

    They say everyone has a primary way of expressing and interpeting love… I am a physcial touch type of person and my husband is acts of service…

    My husband says that I'm the most touchy, feely, affectionate person he's been with... He wasn't affectionate in the beginning of our relationship but I sat him down and told him that I was a person that needed to be touched and shown affection... It was something that I can't live without... So I showed him the way... I'd hold his hand while we walked or drove in the car.. I'd hug him when I wanted and kiss him when I wanted... Lay close to him on the couch, cuddle in bed or rub feet with him... Over time he's adapted to this and he now does it on his own...

    You two just gotta learn each other’s love language :wink:

    You guys sound a lot like us. I think my BF is an act of service kind of person. He is so wonderfully thoughtful when it comes to gift giving. He totally kicks my butt in that department. Haha He shows me he loves me by doing things for me or buying little things that he knows I like such as my favorite candy or snack.

    Maybe I need to communicate with him a little better.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,857 Member
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    Please don't take this the wrong way. . but maybe the kiss just isn't very good?. . .I dated a REALLY nice girl, and I love kissing. . but she was a terrible kisser! It was like kissing a dental patient who's saying 'ahh'. . and dry too. . :(

    . . .and here's where I failed. . b/c I never told her. . how do you tell someone that!? Is it something you can learn, or are you just good at it or not. . ? Like singing. .
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 467 Member
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    My bf is big on affection, hugs, kissing, etc...I love it! He always holds my hand in the car...it's little things....
  • Chari_Jan
    Chari_Jan Posts: 161 Member
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    I have to ask a critical question.... WHEN does the kissing become an issue? Is it in the middle of a ball game? When he is playing video games? When he is picking out fabulous shoes? When he is focused on something he is passionate about?
    If it is at any of these times, that would be the issue.

    However, even if it is a chore, you should not be aware that it is a chore. (except for the above mentioned times)

    It's all the time no matter what is going on. Kissing just isn't high on his priority list at all.
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,015 Member
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    I have no advice...I'm a kissing *kitten*. I LOVE to kiss. Thankfully, I've never been with a guy who feels the opposite.
  • tonihayden
    tonihayden Posts: 67
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    In my case, the low frequency of kissing was merely a symptom of the major problems our relationship had. We split up.

    i am afraid this is and will be me.............he used to kiss me a lot.
  • Chari_Jan
    Chari_Jan Posts: 161 Member
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    Please don't take this the wrong way. . but maybe the kiss just isn't very good?. . .I dated a REALLY nice girl, and I love kissing. . but she was a terrible kisser! It was like kissing a dental patient who's saying 'ahh'. . and dry too. . :(

    . . .and here's where I failed. . b/c I never told her. . how do you tell someone that!? Is it something you can learn, or are you just good at it or not. . ? Like singing. .

    I've thought about this even though I have always been told I am a great kisser. I let him take the lead when it does lead to an open mouth kiss.....which is very very rare.

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