"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

I thank you as well for the share. We all need to read things like that to remind us of just how cruel and shallow people can be and how society really is. Is it a wonder so many people have eating disorders? I am not surprised at all. I think I too want to stay a fat person inside if it means that I remain kind to all and sensitive to others feelings and possible situations.

While I'm not trying to reading your comments 'the wrong way', I don't quite understand your point... Of course if we had to choose between looking like either Roseanne Barr or Cindy Crawford, etc. most people would choose to look like the more 'in-shape' person. I doubt many would state otherwise...

The letter was more about how people treat you when you are overweight/obese/morbidly obese/super-morbidly obese, as if the extra poundage you carry somehow makes you less of a person and unworthy of common courtesy, dignity and respect. Regardless of a person's age, gender, ethnicity, weight, handicap, etc., I do my utmost to treat them as I would like to be treated.

***Sidenote - It's often humorous/hurtful that people seem to think being fat is contagious... Their reaction is like a smile or acknowledgement of my existence would somehow translate to them catching some sort of communicable disease... or they must have smelled crap in their pants!***

Your first line says it all. "IF WE HAD TO CHOOSE"
We all have a choice. Me, you, my wife, my kids, everyone. Diet and lose weight.
The word respect comes up alot. Us fat people, in a way, do not respect our own bodies.
People are inheritly mean. Too Fat, too Skinny, Ugly, handicapped, you name it, people make fun and beliitle it.
I was skinny until my kids were born. 5'10" 150 pounds. Skinny as a kid as well. But yet, I was still called FATSO by my 3 older brothers and sister. Go Figure. After my kids were born, I slowly gained weight up until I got to 250.

People need to stop making excuses for why they are fat. DO you know what my excuse was for gaining weight? 100 percent my own fault. I like to eat and boy, could I eat.

And we also need to stop blaming others when we are made fun of. WE are all guilty of making fun of some one else's faults. We do it everyday. And don't even realize we are doing it.

And losing weight is an extremely simple concept. Eat less, exercise and lose. And the exercise is even optional to a degree.

And all of us who CHOOSE to be fat are an easy target. Fat people even do it. They make fun of fatter people.

Great post

While I'm not trying to reading your comments 'the wrong way', I don't quite understand your point... Of course if we had to choose between looking like either Roseanne Barr or Cindy Crawford, etc. most people would choose to look like the more 'in-shape' person. I doubt many would state otherwise...

The letter was more about how people treat you when you are overweight/obese/morbidly obese/super-morbidly obese, as if the extra poundage you carry somehow makes you less of a person and unworthy of common courtesy, dignity and respect. Regardless of a person's age, gender, ethnicity, weight, handicap, etc., I do my utmost to treat them as I would like to be treated.

***Sidenote - It's often humorous/hurtful that people seem to think being fat is contagious... Their reaction is like a smile or acknowledgement of my existence would somehow translate to them catching some sort of communicable disease... or they must have smelled crap in their pants!***

Your first line says it all. "IF WE HAD TO CHOOSE"
We all have a choice. Me, you, my wife, my kids, everyone. Diet and lose weight.
The word respect comes up alot. Us fat people, in a way, do not respect our own bodies.
People are inheritly mean. Too Fat, too Skinny, Ugly, handicapped, you name it, people make fun and beliitle it.
I was skinny until my kids were born. 5'10" 150 pounds. Skinny as a kid as well. But yet, I was still called FATSO by my 3 older brothers and sister. Go Figure. After my kids were born, I slowly gained weight up until I got to 250.

People need to stop making excuses for why they are fat. DO you know what my excuse was for gaining weight? 100 percent my own fault. I like to eat and boy, could I eat.

And we also need to stop blaming others when we are made fun of. WE are all guilty of making fun of some one else's faults. We do it everyday. And don't even realize we are doing it.

And losing weight is an extremely simple concept. Eat less, exercise and lose. And the exercise is even optional to a degree.

And all of us who CHOOSE to be fat are an easy target. Fat people even do it. They make fun of fatter people.

Well, seems you missed the point of the whole subject. This is more about that touchy feely emotional stuff'... Perhaps you don't feel the same as us, and that's fine - I can respect that, but it doesn't negate our feelings (or right to have them) either. Your deciding to focus on WHY I'm fat, versus why I feel I deserve the basic respect due every human being, says a lot too!

Your premise appears to be that because we are overweight "by our own fault" we are fair game to be made fun of. Definitely don't agree with your logic. Live and let live... It's a good motto that I try to live by! I'm sorry, but I don't think we all randomly make fun of people for their faults and therefore deserve the ridicule in return. If you find that you do, perhaps that's why you speak so easily from the other side and are comfortable with the repercussions. I just have to wonder how MY being fat affects anyone else or give them the right to debase and criticize me? My health is fantastic, no medications, no crazy doctor visits... So, I'm not hurting society. Why should I be punished?

BTW, I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT MAKE FUN OF FATTER PEOPLE and I don't know many who do. Most of us are quick to crack jokes on ourselves as a defense mechanism. I walk with (and spend a great deal of time encouraging) a friend of mine who is 486 pounds. I work to build him up, not tear him down. I sure have nothing but the greatest of respect for him when I see him walking 2.5-4 miles with me. Same for other folks who I work with. I started a weight loss support group to help encourage others.

I'm glad you know the cause and cure for your weight dilemma. For you it seems to be genuinely black and white. That's great and a speedy fix will ensure for you! For me, there are a few shades of gray that color the issue...

Lastly, I respect your right to your opinion, and was not trying to go back and forth with you. Some of your remarks struck me as pretty presumptive and I wanted to clarify. Honestly, I feel like a little gentler approach to the subject (when it directly correlates with emotion), would be greatly appreciated. If you disagree, that's fine... I wish you nothing but great success and happiness on your path.

I'm in the middle of reading Good Omens by Neill Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, this quote came to mind while reading the article and subsequent replies:


"He rather liked people. It was a major failing in a demon.
Oh, he did his best to make their short lives miserable, because that was his job, but nothing he could think up was half as bad as the stuff they thought up themselves. They seemed to have a talent for it. It was built into the design, somehow. They were born into a world that was against them in a thousand little ways, and then devoted most of their energies to making it worse."

I do not understand why society looks down upon being overweight as it does. We all have our flaws, vices, and personal battles. Perhaps being overweight is visible and so it is targeted, albeit unjustly. I don't have any solutions...but thank you posting. It is inspiring, and an excellent reminder to treat all of those around us with love and respect--regardless of appearance.

I think a lot of it is overweight people like myself are just easy targets. We (as a whole) tend to not defend ourselves and will just stand there and take it, perhaps acting like we don't hear the comments directed at us. There is a lot of self-hate as well, because of what we hear constantly from society, and a lot of us feel we deserve it. It's not right, and only serves to bring on emotional eating and more weight gain. Fat-shaming will never work.

There is also a general attitude that we are fat and it is our own fault. While that is true to some degree, things aren't that simple. This idea though is why so many people feel they have free reign to treat others like crap. As if it is somehow deserved.

The hard part is how many of us hate ourselves because we think that way too. We must be worthless or we wouldn't have let this happen.

When you do lose the weight, there is no healthy reason to question others, or hold a grudge.

I am nicer to myself as I get smaller, how can I truly be angry at someone else doing the same thing?

This really resonates with me. In a way it's similar to stopping smoking - some ex-smokers are really viscious to smokers, possibly because they resent that they 'had'' to give up or now feel pious in their success. I never felt this way - I was so grateful and glad to have given up easily that I don't have it in me to tear apart another human being for their foibles that I was guilty of too. That said - I will go out of my way to keep away from smoke because I don't like the smell on me or my clothes.

I hope that when I have reached my goals that I will be able to draw a line under the transgressions of people who have been mean-spirited, dismissive and downright discriminatory towards me over something so arbitrary as size/weight. It seems to be a human failing for some to have to constantly 'benchmark' themselves against others perceived as 'lesser' in order to feel good about themselves. For some, it is a race to the bottom. I never want to be like that, not ever in my life. My weight is something personal that I'm working on, I will get there, and I hope that it doesn't change the character that I've been working on my life long because truthfully, I'm happy with what's inside.

What will I feel like when I am slim? I don't know, I've never been slim. I hope that my lack of judgementalness towards others will remain. It's not a nice trait to sit in judgement. I notice that, some 40lbs down, people are treating me differently. Is that because they see me as more 'normal' or is it because I feel better and therefore that somehow 'shows' outwardly, making people more positive towards me? Maybe it's a combination of the two?

Thank you, OP, and everyone else who has posted there stories here. I'm really humbled at the honesty and the gut-wrenching truths here. The support here is amazing and it's great to have a place to share things that have caused us so much pain, without risk of being attacked.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. :flowerforyou:

wow! Great article! Brought tears to my eyes.

I have lost 80+ pounds and I totally understand what she is saying. I am not "thin" by any means, and yet people treat me MUCH bette than before.

Sad really, how shallow the world is.

I think she's saying that she sees through what other people who have been been overweight see. She knows her true heart and she is still HER either way. I have the very same feeling, and it's hard not to totally resent people in general. It's almost like I do not even enjoy getting checked out or hit on or talked to because I wonder if they would have ever given me a second glance before. I'm still me either way, and so is she.